Are you in good shape? That's something you can at least have some control over. I look like a balding neanderthal but I make sure to at least stay toned. I'm not short, but still, I see plenty of fit, short guys with hot girls.
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Are you in good shape? That's something you can at least have some control over. I look like a balding neanderthal but I make sure to at least stay toned. I'm not short, but still, I see plenty of fit, short guys with hot girls.
stn
Member
Awesome, man. There are a few things you NEED to take from this:
1. If for whatever reason it doesn't work out, please don't go into negative mode. Always remind yourself that this event was ONLY positive. No matter what happens this a positive.
2. Temper your feelings. You sound very thrilled - and I'm sure you are. But just be aware that things can sometimes not work out. I met the sexiest women EVER in my life just months ago, only got to see her for less than 3 hours. Never happened again. I was also really thrilled when I met her. Anyway, I learned a lot about managing my own emotions.
Anyway, good stuff. I'm happy for you, man.
PflargBlarg
Member
Hahaha, she was all worried that I would think she was crazy for looking up potential apartments for us to live in together. Little did she know that I had already done that myself a couple days before. We both make good money and so it's looking like it will actually be possible for us to have an awesome place in downtown Vancouver which I never thought I would have. And coincidentally both our leases end in March.
I didn't know non-attractive people couldn't have friends or make people laugh.
I'm in really good shape, and I present myself really well. I have a good haircut, I dress well, and essentially take really good care of my body. I do all this because I really enjoy it and I just couldn't imagine being lazy about my appearance.
grap3fruitman
Banned
It's true: I'm the proof.
You're a handsome dude, unlike me.
Unless you have some ridiculous standard for the girls you want to date (and even then), no your looks are not going to make it impossible for you to find someone. I've seen your pic and I think don't think many girls would find you ugly, and a lot would find you attractive. But that kind of stuff isn't going to sink in until you see evidence for it in your life.
He's unable to see the value in himself and the things he has going for him. There's no way to fix this for him over the internet. He needs therapy, medication, or a fuck it moment to realize that his negative perception of self is only real as long as he believes it is.
youngwerther
Banned
Don't be snide man. I'm doing my best to help you.
What I'm saying is that these people see worth in you, and it's possible they see worth where you don't.
Stop separating people into "non-attractive" and "attractive".
It just isn't true man. I guarantee you care more about this than they do.
youngwerther
Banned
If that is how you feel, then why is it unreasonable to figure that there are women who have the same standards that you just outlined, especially when "looks" have the notoriety of being far more important for women than men.
I do value my personality and social skills(to an extent), which is why I never have a problem approaching new people and starting a conversation with them. I am going to therapy, I'm also taking meds for anxiety, and I do agree that I probably have a fucked up perception of myself, but I just don't know what to do anymore.
Sorry dude, I didn't mean to sound confrontational in my reply. You're right though, these people do see worth in me, but as a friend, someone to be around with. I have plenty of friends and honestly at this juncture I feel that I already have plenty of good friends. I'm looking to experience something new, like dating and being in a relationship.
-ImaginaryInsider
Member
I struggle with this kind of thinking all the time, but when I stop focusing on the long-term when talking to girls, and just enjoy interacting with them in the here and now, I do a lot better and enjoy myself. I have even wiggled out of the "friends zone" a few times by just continuing to be fun and flirty.
As far as looks go, you'd be surprised about what girls find attractive. I've had girls flip over my very plain brown eyes, others were attracted to my huskiness because it makes me "cuddly". I recently had a very attractive (and sober) female friend make out with me instead of a better looking ripped guy solely because of a seemingly simple conversation we had about music that made her feel a connection with me.
I think my date went well. I'm bad at dates so it's hard to tell, lol.
We talked for 4.5 hours without realizing it (we both said "holy shit" when we checked our phones at the end of the night). We talked about being hardcore into fitness, playing lots of video games (she even has a pokemon tattoo!) and other general nerd stuff, religious upbringings gone sour, passion for work, paranormal weirdness, local art scene, etc. And to top it off she was really hot.
Definitely the coolest girl I've gone out with. At the end she said that she would take me to an art show she had mentioned later if I wanted so that's good.
I can already see the big thing I have to overcome which is that I'm not much of a leader personality. This girl led a lot of the conversation, and she suggested the next activity. Also I didn't attempt to initiate any physical contact tonight, just seemed like it would have been really awkward. So I'm very wary that she's not going to see me as the take-charge type. I'll need to work on that a lot.
Also I hope she doesn't mind when she finds out I have no money and no car.
We talked for 4.5 hours without realizing it (we both said "holy shit" when we checked our phones at the end of the night). We talked about being hardcore into fitness, playing lots of video games (she even has a pokemon tattoo!) and other general nerd stuff, religious upbringings gone sour, passion for work, paranormal weirdness, local art scene, etc. And to top it off she was really hot.
Definitely the coolest girl I've gone out with. At the end she said that she would take me to an art show she had mentioned later if I wanted so that's good. I can already see the big thing I have to overcome which is that I'm not much of a leader personality. This girl led a lot of the conversation, and she suggested the next activity. Also I didn't attempt to initiate any physical contact tonight, just seemed like it would have been really awkward. So I'm very wary that she's not going to see me as the take-charge type. I'll need to work on that a lot.
Also I hope she doesn't mind when she finds out I have no money and no car.
beat
Member
Did y'all see that (admittedly problematic*) Dove commercial / web video where women described themselves to a forensics sketch artist and then strangers they'd just met described them to the same artist?
* because it (1) upholds standard beauty ideals of thinness and whiteness and (2) implies that beauty is a foundational quality needed for a good life
Anyways, if you can set aside the problems with that spot, it does illustrate that people are too hard on themselves about their appearance.
NeOak
Member
Logz is trolling... lol
Kung Fu Jedi
Member
Date (For me anyway, she has a bf who she says she is breaking up with him soon) night Saturday. Bar date
Sorry to burst your bubble, but that ain't date night. She needs to be on the date too and that means she's either cheating on her bf with you or she doesn't see it as a date.
beat
Member
Yeah, but there were a couple other posters saying the same thing and they were serious, hence my "y'all".
hydrophilic attack
Member
Shit, so I was probably right to worry about this situation. If she won't respond to my (maybe a bit too vanilla) "Did you have fun on your trip" text that broke the radio silence that is definitely bad news, right? So, has anyone else ever been in a situation where you have a couple awesome dates, you seem to connect quite a bit, and she seems really into you, you discuss possible activities for future dates and you make out a bit and so on, and then nothing? I think this trip she went on really broke our momentum. I'm thinking one of the following happened in order of likelihood:
a) She was swept off her feet by someone else. I know she recently started a new job, maybe she met someone there? Or maybe she met someone at a party, I don't know.
b) She is having second thoughts, for whatever reason. Maybe she is getting back into contact with an ex. Maybe she thinks she is not ready for a relationship. (But then why would she go on a date to begin with?)
c) Maybe my lack of experience and technique was really apparent when we made out. The first kisses were a bit awkward, as we both tried to go for the other's lower lip until I adjusted. And I didn't feel confident enough to put a lot of tongue into it and maybe she wanted that. Maybe she didn't like that I kissed other parts of her face as well (neck, ears, cheek). I dunno. But she seemed to really enjoy it.
d) Maybe I projected too clearly that I like her which made me come off as if I don't have any options. Still, the signals she was sending on the dates (and before I asked her out first time) were really strong and after the second date I would have almost said she was more into me than I was into her.
e) Maybe I came off as a bit too clingy with my texts before she went away.
f) Maybe she is playing some kind of weird game. Not sure if she would be worth my time in that case.
g) Maybe she's just not that into me. But that's definitely not the feeling I got when we met.
h) Maybe she is really busy with other aspects of her life: new job, family or whatever. But how could she possibly be so busy that she can't respond to a text.
i) Maybe she expected me to stay in touch when she was away. But that sounds like a stretch to me.
j) Maybe she didn't like me inviting her over for dinner before she went away. Maybe she thought that was too quick and that meant I'm only in it for sex. She couldn't be more wrong in that case. I would want some sex with her, but not just because of sex drive or because she is pretty, but mostly because it would be a way for us to get closer and build a relationship. But it would be really stupid and silly of her to get mad over something like that.
k) Maybe she gets off on making men think they have a chance and then tormenting them by pretending they don't exist.
l) Maybe she (or some jealous friendzoned guy) has a GAF account and saw some of my more candid posts that don't put me in a flattering light. Fuck my life if this the case, lol.
m) Maybe my phone is not working properly.
n) Maybe she lost her phone/got kidnapped/is really sick
Anyway, this really sucks, because I saw some potential in us. She was a really cool girl. I'll try not to make this affect my newly found confidence (such as it is) too much. There should be tons of other girls out there (too bad that three potential ones are at work, which is risky business).
Anyway, I'll focus on myself for a while. I got a gym card recently and have started taking spinning sessions. The session today really helped me get my mind off things and get some perspective. Also, there are quite a lot of girls at the gym. I also have a time booked with a personal trainer that can help me with setting up a personal routine to start out with. It's getting too cold for running now so going to the gym would be a good substitute. Also, I'm getting behind at work, so I probably need to focus on that.
I deleted her texts, the picture of herself that she sent me and her number because I don't want to dwell on this any longer. I still have her number in my history though. I'm thinking of maybe calling her once. Her number is still in my history, so I can still do that. Not sure how long I should wait though. It's probably better to wait for a while, but on the other hand I want to do it pretty soon, so I can move on as quickly as possible, knowing that there is no chance at all (or that there is and don't move on). If I do call her, I guess I should pretend as if nothing has happened. Not try to guilt trip her or anything like that. I could leave a voice message jokingly reminding her that I owe her dinner (she paid on the last date, and joked that I should pay on the next one just like I did on the first) and making a reference to an in-joke from our dates. I dunno.
Kung Fu Jedi
Member
hydrophillic attack: You're over thinking things way too much. Look at that wall of text you just posted.
Yes, her trip probably killed your momentum. It probably isn't much more than that. She may have gotten some time to think and decided that she just wan't that into you. She may also have just gotten back and is trying to get caught up on things. Either way, you're over examining things. You reached out to her. If you don't hear back, it's time to move on.
Yes, her trip probably killed your momentum. It probably isn't much more than that. She may have gotten some time to think and decided that she just wan't that into you. She may also have just gotten back and is trying to get caught up on things. Either way, you're over examining things. You reached out to her. If you don't hear back, it's time to move on.
Don't overthink these things, you did the right thing by deleting everything about her. If she has any interest in you she'll contact you, and from then you can decide what to do next. And yes, this situation has happened to all of us, so just get back into the game and try to find someone else.
electricshake
Member
Haha yeh you need to stop thinking about this and calm down. Maybe she met someone while she was away, or maybe her phone broke. How long has it been?
stn
Member
What Jedi said. You're over-thinking too much, contacting her won't change anything. I've always been of the firm belief that a woman who likes a guy will do what she needs to contact him. Her phone broken? She'll use a friends or call from home. Is she away on vacation? She'll send a FB message. And so forth. Especially with the options in today's technology there is ALWAYS a way to reach out.
Why did she reach out before? Maybe she got taken away in the emotion and euphoria of it? Maybe she was bored? Maybe she was using you? Maybe she just wanted temporary fun and relief? Don't put too much reliance onto what a girl may tell you (ex. we should date again). She might just say that to encourage you so as to avoid awkwardness for the moment.
The point is, you never know why a girl is going out with you until you're actually in a relationship. By then, you know its real. Before then? You could be just one option amid a selection of men she's seeing. And remember: women tend to have more options than men.
The main point is: don't waste time thinking about all these options. The fact of the matter is she's not reaching out to you. It could be because your breath smells, because you're too tall, because your eyes are blue and not black - whatever. It could be anything. True story: I had a girl stop talking to me because I wasn't Italian. Yes, really. Even though I look Italian and AM European. She was only into Italian men and even thought I was one. But no. If you want details just PM me, no point in me sharing it here just because.
Anyway, get back out there and stop wondering why. Its always pointless, man. Take it from someone who's been down that road too often.
Why did she reach out before? Maybe she got taken away in the emotion and euphoria of it? Maybe she was bored? Maybe she was using you? Maybe she just wanted temporary fun and relief? Don't put too much reliance onto what a girl may tell you (ex. we should date again). She might just say that to encourage you so as to avoid awkwardness for the moment.
The point is, you never know why a girl is going out with you until you're actually in a relationship. By then, you know its real. Before then? You could be just one option amid a selection of men she's seeing. And remember: women tend to have more options than men.
The main point is: don't waste time thinking about all these options. The fact of the matter is she's not reaching out to you. It could be because your breath smells, because you're too tall, because your eyes are blue and not black - whatever. It could be anything. True story: I had a girl stop talking to me because I wasn't Italian. Yes, really. Even though I look Italian and AM European. She was only into Italian men and even thought I was one. But no. If you want details just PM me, no point in me sharing it here just because.
Anyway, get back out there and stop wondering why. Its always pointless, man. Take it from someone who's been down that road too often.
UltimaPooh
Member
You're getting paranoid. Move on, go hang out with friends or something. Hang out with people who want to actively hang out with you. AINT' GOT NO TIME FER HER.
Out of Working Order
Member
Where do I start? Any suggestions?
How do I do this when I have no social circle? To answer your question, though; no effort whatsoever. My Dad offers to go out with me to the cinema, but Christ, I really feel like an utter loser having to go out and do social things with my Dad. And I am hardly going to try talking to women in front of my Dad, am I?
Get on it quickly, man. Holy shit does 28 feel a lot damned worse. It's shocking just how quickly 30 creeps up on you.
Empowe & God Dayumm: I wouldn't recommend trying to be something or pretending to be something. Just be it. It will drain your energy and interest in these things if you aren't being yourself. You can always be a better self though without trying to be someone you're not. Age isn't a dating factor. That's just silly male thinking patterns and nothing more. It's just not true. Nobody but yourself (and maybe a few assholes) is beating you up over your age and lack of experience. Anyone who is, just cut them off. I guarantee you, with a proper viewpoint on life and yourself, owning who you truly are as a wonderfully cool person, many women will find it incredibly pleasing to find a man who isn't socially trained to be a certain way around women or who thinks they're super great in bed when in fact they aren't. A mature and smart woman will be thrilled to find a man without a head full of crap that they can teach proper ways to. THAT is hot
Perhaps so. But would a woman date a man that still lives with his parents and works a shitty part time job? At my age I should have a career, or something substantial to show for the years where I've not been dating.
Of myself? Not very highly. I am weak-willed, depressed, and find it hard to imagine a future - I am very unhappy with my life. Never had a social life either, or been able to fit in with other people my age. The entirety of my 20's I feel I've wasted. I just clammed up and withdrew from the world. Quite often I want to call it quits - I don't think I've got what it takes to make it.
hydrophilic attack
Member
Yes, I'm overthinking things. I always do. And it's further compounded by me being so new to this dating thing. Still, overall, this has been a good experience, and hopefully what I needed to be more courageous and more aggressive with girls I meet. And that was one of my targets going into the dates with this girl, so at least that's good.
Anyway, it's been over a day now. She's not responding, so I deleted her number from my history too now. I still know how to find her number on the Internet though. I hate giving up without a fight so I still think maybe I should try calling her at some point and directly ask her out on a date, cuttiing all the bullcrap. So I know you all say I shouldn't, but if I did it, when would be the best time to do it, without it being so early that I come off as needy and clingy, but without it being so late that she has totally forgotten me?
Edit: I want to clarify that the list in my wall-of-text above was partly tongue-in-cheek as a way to show myself how ridiculously I'm overthinking this thing.
Anyway, it's been over a day now. She's not responding, so I deleted her number from my history too now. I still know how to find her number on the Internet though. I hate giving up without a fight so I still think maybe I should try calling her at some point and directly ask her out on a date, cuttiing all the bullcrap. So I know you all say I shouldn't, but if I did it, when would be the best time to do it, without it being so early that I come off as needy and clingy, but without it being so late that she has totally forgotten me?
Edit: I want to clarify that the list in my wall-of-text above was partly tongue-in-cheek as a way to show myself how ridiculously I'm overthinking this thing.
I think my date went well. I'm bad at dates so it's hard to tell, lol.
We talked for 4.5 hours without realizing it (we both said "holy shit" when we checked our phones at the end of the night). We talked about being hardcore into fitness, playing lots of video games (she even has a pokemon tattoo!) and other general nerd stuff, religious upbringings gone sour, passion for work, paranormal weirdness, local art scene, etc. And to top it off she was really hot.
Haven't heard back yet from this girl. Bit odd, I actually feel kinda good just that I could even see a girl like that y'know? Like if you went on a date with Jessica Alba, you wouldn't be going bonkers over whether she'd call you back, you'd just be like "holy shit I went on a date with Jessica Alba!" dunno if that makes sense, lol
beat
Member
Also, a movie theater is a terrible place to meet new people. It's a reasonably good place to see a movie.
If you're not meeting people in your current routine, then you will either need to change your routine or wait for lightning to strike. (don't wait.)
sssstententen
Member
Part of me has been following your posts over the weeks and still think its ridiculous for her to treat you the way she has been with this whole wishy washy bullshit, but at the same time I know if the girl I am crazy about did the same shit to me (and basically has before), I'd act the same way.
Just makes me sad that since guys are the initiators the majority of the time, that girls can basically puppeteer you around as they see fit.
It's like damned if you do damned if you don't. If we cut contact and stop talking, we lose out on this girl we really are into and she also takes offense to it. If we try to push it, we come off as clingy. If we keep medium, we have a chance of losing out to someone else.
All in all man I hope she follows through and she starts giving you the time of day. Hope your dinner date goes well.
A girl today gave me her number earlier today when I was promoting a club that I'm active in without me asking for it all by simply making regular conversation with her. I brought up a big drawing event that I've gone to twice as well as drawing nights at an illustration place a couple of blocks down from my college and she then she gave wrote down her number and email on a piece of paper telling me to let her know when I plan on going to one.
She was expressing interest in me, asking me my ethnicity. I started to pick up on what she was implying (I'm an oblivious buffoon) with her number, so I asked if she goes to bars since I told her I don't drink coffee, she told me she's big on teas and doesn't go to bars like. I suppose this is a hint to hit her up and set something up right? I added her number to my phone but have yet to send her a text due to doing homework assignments. I suppose I'll do it on my way home.
On another note RE: How to meet people, I always say to do stuff relevant to your interests like the aforementioned club which happens to be my college's comic book publication. I also organize GAF meet ups every now and then. I'm an art/media student and love to draw so I gravitate to stuff like drawing events and open mics. I'll give a quick anecdote that happened last Thursday.
It was the big drawing event I alluded to above. I bought a ticket and went by myself with sketch pad in town. There was an open bar of beer and wine as well appetizers. I graciously took advantage of the open bar and drank 4 beers throughout the night. Initially, I felt awkward but I recognized the organizer of the event having saw him at New York Comic Con and the drawing event that I went to July and a friend who works at conventions as well as one of the models.
Eventually I decided to open my mouth and started having conversation with folks in the bathroom, by the appetizer tables, and near me; it wasn't so bad and it became a lot easier throughout the night as I was holding conversations pretty well. While using alcohol as a social lubricant is YMMV, I would encourage it. 2 beers in and I had relaxed; my anxiety for the night had more or less gone away and this is coming from someone who has moderate social anxiety.
Point to take away from this anecdote is that it's extremely easy to make conversation with people you have something in common with. I asked a fairly attractive female attendee if she drew people on the subway (I do it every time), told me that she did, and we ended up having a good conversation. I didn't get any numbers but simply by being proactive and observant one can meet people pretty easily. In the end of the night, I mentally pat myself on the back for having gone, had fun, and enjoyed it.
She was expressing interest in me, asking me my ethnicity. I started to pick up on what she was implying (I'm an oblivious buffoon) with her number, so I asked if she goes to bars since I told her I don't drink coffee, she told me she's big on teas and doesn't go to bars like. I suppose this is a hint to hit her up and set something up right? I added her number to my phone but have yet to send her a text due to doing homework assignments. I suppose I'll do it on my way home.
On another note RE: How to meet people, I always say to do stuff relevant to your interests like the aforementioned club which happens to be my college's comic book publication. I also organize GAF meet ups every now and then. I'm an art/media student and love to draw so I gravitate to stuff like drawing events and open mics. I'll give a quick anecdote that happened last Thursday.
It was the big drawing event I alluded to above. I bought a ticket and went by myself with sketch pad in town. There was an open bar of beer and wine as well appetizers. I graciously took advantage of the open bar and drank 4 beers throughout the night. Initially, I felt awkward but I recognized the organizer of the event having saw him at New York Comic Con and the drawing event that I went to July and a friend who works at conventions as well as one of the models.
Eventually I decided to open my mouth and started having conversation with folks in the bathroom, by the appetizer tables, and near me; it wasn't so bad and it became a lot easier throughout the night as I was holding conversations pretty well. While using alcohol as a social lubricant is YMMV, I would encourage it. 2 beers in and I had relaxed; my anxiety for the night had more or less gone away and this is coming from someone who has moderate social anxiety.
Point to take away from this anecdote is that it's extremely easy to make conversation with people you have something in common with. I asked a fairly attractive female attendee if she drew people on the subway (I do it every time), told me that she did, and we ended up having a good conversation. I didn't get any numbers but simply by being proactive and observant one can meet people pretty easily. In the end of the night, I mentally pat myself on the back for having gone, had fun, and enjoyed it.
Mortimer Brewster
Member
Well Im on day 6 of my no contact thing with Brandi. I still think about her alot and am constantly tempted to text her. I still haven't deleted her from facebook either because things havent popped on my feed involving her though all the PS4 facebook updates are probably bombing her newsfeed.
n64coder
Member
It happened to me. I was fixed up on a date to go with a friend's friend's sister. We hit it really well that I heard word from my friend's wife that she had a great time, etc etc. So we went on a few more dates and then she turned cold. The word I heard was that I was too "wishy-washy". In other words, I was asking her opinion of which restaurant to go to on our dates, which activity instead of just laying it down that we're going to do this or that. Oh well, chalk it up as experience and don't do that again.
I ended up having the last laugh because 17 years later, she's never married while I have a wife and two great daughters. Still see each other every couple of years when I go to the friend's house for pool.
You have to find activities that you like to do. It's tougher once you're out of school but it's still possible. I enjoyed cooking, biking, roller blading so I would treat relationships almost like a job interview. Always being on the lookout for opportunities and doing them. For me, this meant signing up for cooking classes (always tons of women in them), doing biking or blading meetups, being friendly to women in cooking stores, going out with some other single co-workers to parties/bars, going to concerts. You really have to focus on having fun, putting on your best appearance and engage with people. You're not always going to be successful but the more chances you have, the higher likelihood that you'll be successful. The key is to be out in public doing something that you enjoy instead of sitting around at home.
n64coder
Member
It's true that you're going to have a smaller pool of women to choose from if you have a crap job and still live with your parents. So I think you need to work on boosting your confidence by changing your appearance (get a new/better haircut, and some decent clothes) and then work to get a better job. Then you can look to move out once you have some savings into a place with roommates.
AdventureRacing
Member
Well the question is if you think so poorly of yourself how can you expect other people to want to be with you? You've got to sort out the real issues in your life before worrying about dating. Your work situation, social situation and general well being are the things holding you back and you should be focusing on them. No amount of advice of how to pick up or date women will help you when that isn't the problem in the first place.
Edit: When i met my now fiancee i was living with my parents with no job and no social life whatsoever. It's certainly not impossible.
UltimaPooh
Member
Turnouts like this are great.
I don't really have any specific questions but I'm worried I'm not making the most of my college years. I feel like I'm a little behind most of my peers since this is my first time going to a coed school since 13. I never made much of an effort to talk to any girls so I didn't know many women my age until college. I also was dealing with a chronic illness since middle school that wasn't diagnosed until about a year ago so I had very little confidence in myself.
Since starting treatment I've been feeling a million times better and don't really have much of an excuse anymore for not at lest making an attempt at dating. I'd say I'm pretty happy about who I am and where I'm at in life otherwise. Through forcing myself to be more social I've mostly overcome some shyness that has held me back over the years. I can be pretty outgoing most of the time and I do enjoy talking and spending time with other people, something I used to think I hated. Dating is the one thing I've yet to figure out. I have asked out girls I'm interested in but have never gotten very far even after hearing yes. I'm wondering if the other dudes around me know something I don't.
Since starting treatment I've been feeling a million times better and don't really have much of an excuse anymore for not at lest making an attempt at dating. I'd say I'm pretty happy about who I am and where I'm at in life otherwise. Through forcing myself to be more social I've mostly overcome some shyness that has held me back over the years. I can be pretty outgoing most of the time and I do enjoy talking and spending time with other people, something I used to think I hated. Dating is the one thing I've yet to figure out. I have asked out girls I'm interested in but have never gotten very far even after hearing yes. I'm wondering if the other dudes around me know something I don't.
That depends on the situation and topic of course. I prefer honesty. Opening up lets you get closer to someone and you most likely will learn new perspectives as well. Maybe you'll learn that you had something backwards and had no reason to be upset?
So about that...
I should have just said that last night was not good for dinner. It turned out we were both very tired and she ended up just wanting to meet me at the restaurant instead of me picking her up. We both said we were going to crash when we got home. This is not how I wanted a proper "date night" to go...
Dinner went great and I texted her after I got home saying that I had a great time as usual. She didn't respond and I looked on OKCupid and saw she was online. Too tired, a couple of drinks and I was jealous of her being online so I texted. "You are right, you are a bad lier (she had told me this before). Good luck with your online dating."
Without sparing all the details, lets just say there is a new rule of dating TylerD... Only being able to have conversations about the relationship over text is an absolute deal breaker. I tried to tell her that you need to read my texts as me sitting there in front of you just talking because I have had no reason to rant and have not been ranting which she accused me of doing in the past which again, was a shock to me.
That is the problem with texting, she can read what I am saying in pretty much any context, tone, voice, etc...
Anyway, she has totally been screwed up by other people. She didn't give me a chance to say anything this morning. Prompt text first thing in the morning saying that she is in her shell and didn't even like hugging and I kept pushing the issue, which is the first time I heard of that. I apologized and she told me not to contact her again.
LOL
So Monday night I seem to have a pretty good date, the next morning we talk back and forth for a bit, exchange 15 texts or so, then I suddenly haven't heard from her since. Should I try texting her again? Tbh she's way out of my league and I kind of expected this to happen, but still, wonder what happened.
@Tyler, lots of people use OKCupid just because it's fun. I still check mine after dates. It's not a big deal.
@Tyler, lots of people use OKCupid just because it's fun. I still check mine after dates. It's not a big deal.
n64coder
Member
Bummer that it didn't go well. I can understand having the reaction that she had reading your text. Yes, definitely chalk it up as a learning experience. I would definitely try avoid checking someone's online status or whether they get back to you quickly or not. It will only drive you crazy.
Yeah, I completely fucked up. I do it too and she has done it but it didn't bother me before just something about last night because I was looking forward to spending more time with her than what happened. I was running on 3 hrs of sleep and a couple of drinks. Should have just went to bed obviously.
Final Boss
Banned
electricshake
Member
That text sounds pretty passive aggressive and douchey to me, so not sure why you sent it. Getting upset because she checked her okc account seems over the top.
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