PflargBlarg
Member
My gf doesn't let me do much of anything during her time. On the upside, it does pretty much turn into bj week, so that's something.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
- Start date
- Status
My gf doesn't let me do much of anything during her time. On the upside, it does pretty much turn into bj week, so that's something.
Out of Working Order
Member
Should I message somebody on a dating website who is sporty and enjoys cycling, even though I don't like cycling and am not very sporty?
I mean, I enjoy the outdoors, and I'd like to be more active - it's just that I've got nobody to do it with. I just feel so boring compared to others. All these women seem to have such fun, active lives, whereas I lead such a boring, uninteresting life. I feel like I've never 'lived', so to speak.
I mean, I enjoy the outdoors, and I'd like to be more active - it's just that I've got nobody to do it with. I just feel so boring compared to others. All these women seem to have such fun, active lives, whereas I lead such a boring, uninteresting life. I feel like I've never 'lived', so to speak.
depths20XX
Member
If you enjoy those things and need someone to do them with, then finding a girl to do them with would be fun, no?
Also, I think most girl's profiles on there make them out to be way more active than they actually are. I think as long as they enjoy your company you will be ok, regardless of what you're into. If you feel your life is really boring and it's affecting your personality though, you may need to find some things to do.
Out of Working Order
Member
Of course it would!
But say we're on a date and she asks: "So, how often do go hiking, and where do you go?", all I will be able to offer is: "Well, I go hiking once a year when I go on holiday with my parents." I am supposed to be really into it, and yet I am not doing it 99 percent of the time. How am I going to show her a good time?
My life is boring. Would joining a hiking club be a good idea? Has anyone here ever done it?
Dude, chances are she rides her bike like twice a month. One night I'm gonna set up a tally card and just power through as many OKC profiles as I can in an hour and figure out just how generic these profiles are.
Pretty much every girl on a dating website: super active, eats healthy, LOVES traveling (especially Europe), LOVES going on "adventures", LOVES going to shows, LOVES exploring the city, and absolutely LOVES finding new and interesting bars/restaurants with their friends.
I guess my point is this: if she says she's into riding bikes or whatever, and you're willing to at least try it out, then worst case scenario is you find a girl you can ride a bike with. More than likely, however, it's not that serious.
I've got the same problem. On paper I'm boring as fuck. Actually, I'm probably pretty boring in real life, too. BUT, I can go do things and actually carry on a decent conversation and make girls laugh once I know them, so it's not too bad. That's my biggest beef with dating websites, the whole idea of selling yourself.
Out of Working Order
Member
Yes, this seems to be nearly every woman on the website. It often feels that only the most wealthy, high flying business men will be able to offer them any excitement. Either that, or someone who's really, really damned active, cultured, and well travelled.
I've never been out of my country, and my day consists of work, getting home, and sitting alone on the internet for hours. Then repeating the process again the next day. It doesn't help that there's no women in my life at all - not even as friends. So I've got nowhere to practice figuring women out.
depths20XX
Member
Do you have friends you do stuff with on weekends at all? Any interests? Past experiences to talk about?
Trust me you don't need to be super active and rock climbing everyday to have a good date with these girls. If you have a negative view and are down on yourself or in general keep putting it out there about how dull your life is, then yeah, that might hurt on the date.
First off, that's impossible.
But, from the hard work of countless men, we have gleaned some knowledge on the subject. Basically, women are guys with vaginas and breasts. Yes, there may be subtle differences in interests and activities (and thought processes), but overall they're not that weird.
The girl I'm talking to right now is huge into the outdoors, cycling, fitness, and travelling. I'm into much nerdier stuff. She's not at all the type of person that I thought I'd hit it off with. And yet we still connect really well, though I do have an interest in doing the above with the right person. If you have a desire to do any of those things, you should absolutely talk to her. As long as you take an interest in things she likes (and vice-versa), there's nothing that should stop you from talking. In fact, I think being distinctly different people makes things a lot more interesting.
Out of Working Order
Member
Nope. I have interests, of course. But because I've never really had a social life, I don't feel that I've got awesome past experiences to talk about. That's why I say my life's boring; it's not just the fact I do nothing now - it's that I have never done things like travelling, doing things with friends, getting drunk, or anything remotely like 'living' life. I've just lead a solitary, boring life.
Well, I meant figuring them out as in how they respond to me. Can I hold a woman's attention, and can they be attracted to me during conversation? I have nothing to go off. I have always thought women just aren't attracted to me, or think I am weird, or that something is 'off' about me. From my limited interactions with women, that is all I've been able to sense. Perhaps the fact that my conversations have been so limited (just "Hi", or "the weather's terrible" most of the time) has lead me to the conclusion that women don't want to talk to me.
My advice is to go out and make new friends. Find an excuse to go out. If you want to be a more interesting person, you need to put some effort into it.
Conversation is something that takes practice, whether it's with women or anyone else. A conversation with a woman in which you're interested shouldn't be that different than any conversation, aside from the occasional flirting. Be inquisitive. Be interested in what she has to say. Also, don't be afraid to share your passions, to show that you care about something...I don't know if this is the case with everyone but I am far more interesting in talking to someone and finding out more about them when they're really passionate about something.
Go out and talk to people. It doesn't matter if you're interested in them romantically or not...it's all the same. Just talk to people and you'll learn to carry a conversation over time.
Out of Working Order
Member
Cool. I guess it's worth a try, then. Good luck with your date.
This is it. Basically, I don't think I have a choice at this point. My life is stagnating as-is.
Thanks for the advice. I've always been scared to open up and share my interests, almost because I feel that I am showing off - 'look at me', sort of thing.
I don't know how far you're in with this girl, but if you seriously care about her then I'd just tell her that. Like literally tell her the bolded parts. If she feels you aren't serious because of the mess ups, then you have to straighten it out and not do it again. If she does understand and gives you another chance, then you had best consider yourself on strike 2 until things settle down.
Well, what I've found is platonic female friends aren't necessarily good indicators. I know I act somewhat differently around them, and there's no sexual tension.
I firmly believe that no matter how ugly or boring you think you are, there will be at least one person out there who thinks you're the shit. I used to have really bad self-esteem issues before I met my ex-wife (still do, but not as bad) and after she left me. I'm not the most attractive guy (see avatar), I'm not in the best shape, I have no truly interesting activities (browsing reddit/GAF all day isn't really a good icebreaker), and I'm usually a pretty shy guy when I go out. What I'm getting at is this: your self-perception only affects one thing: the chances you're willing to take. Aside from the confidence you give off, your self-perception means about jack shit to how others see you.
On the flip-side, there are beautiful, smart, interesting girls out there who don't realize that about themselves. I'm not saying you should go out and target emotionally unstable women and take advantage of them, but you should realize that there are girls have the same thoughts as you, and that this wall you've imagined they've built up around themselves isn't really that impregnable.
It sounds like you have the right attitude.
I was in a similar place. I did nothing but stay at home and play video games, and when I was with friends it was always playing video games or doing the same things. I was never pushing out of my comfort zone. In the last year and a half since I've moved out, I've been doing a lot of things. I'm meeting strangers, I'm picking up new hobbies, I'm trying to better myself, I'm making friends with and hanging out with women...a lot of things that were out of my comfort zone. I'm actually finding myself to be a far more extroverted person than I thought I was, to the point where I now crave social interaction. I am a very different person than I was just two years ago.
Go out there and try new things and you may surprise yourself.
jimmypython
Member
hi Dating gaf,
I don't post here very often...but I have my little story to share:
Note: I know it was me causing all those troubles for me in the first place. And I don't know what to expect from you my gaf friends. so just say whatever you feel like to say.....
I was falling hard for this girl from where I work. I knew from beginning that it would NOT be a good idea with someone at work so I didn't make any move. But like I said I was falling SO HARD that I couldn't stop myself from interacting with her. I really REALLY REALLY hate those feelings. Then we became close friends and I witnessed the ENTIRE GRADUAL PROCESS OF BEING FRIENDZONED. That was very SAD and kinda amazing to see at the same time. Tip: IF YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDZONED, JUST BE NICE TO HER without letting her know that you want a romantic relationship. I know it sounds ridiculous since it certainly makes sense to me to shower her with attention and princess her if I really like the girl but...well, it's the bloody reality. I hit all the 'milestones' on the road to be zoned: drive her to and from work everyday (it's cold in Canada, she doesn't have a car, public transit is shit in my city), help her move in the freaking freezing rain right before holiday week while the guy she's been seeing conveniently went back to his home city, help her get her phone back...She came over to my place at new years eve, we made diner and all that but i knew nothing's gonna happen. Well, the guy is back from holiday break today (oh yeah, great timing) and ready to play again, so yeah she's having a date with him tonight and also, you know, ready to sleep over. "i might not be at my place tomorrow morning so you don't have to pick me up" was what she literally said to me just now. SURE! I KNOW I CAN'T BLAME ANYONE BUT MYSELF and it's certainly not her fault seeing other people because I didn't put myself out there in the first place. Just that, those feelings hit me so bad that I almost can't take it anymore.
Meanwhile, I randomly met this other girl and we've been talking everyday for a couple of weeks now. Apparently she was pretty into me and even tried (and is still trying) to ask me out. But obviously I was still all for the first girl...well I guess I will give this second girl a try...
Sorry for all the nonsense but I guess "if you want to be zoned, be nice to her." and *i hate those feelings* were what I was trying to say....
I don't post here very often...but I have my little story to share:
Note: I know it was me causing all those troubles for me in the first place. And I don't know what to expect from you my gaf friends. so just say whatever you feel like to say.....
I was falling hard for this girl from where I work. I knew from beginning that it would NOT be a good idea with someone at work so I didn't make any move. But like I said I was falling SO HARD that I couldn't stop myself from interacting with her. I really REALLY REALLY hate those feelings. Then we became close friends and I witnessed the ENTIRE GRADUAL PROCESS OF BEING FRIENDZONED. That was very SAD and kinda amazing to see at the same time. Tip: IF YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDZONED, JUST BE NICE TO HER without letting her know that you want a romantic relationship. I know it sounds ridiculous since it certainly makes sense to me to shower her with attention and princess her if I really like the girl but...well, it's the bloody reality. I hit all the 'milestones' on the road to be zoned: drive her to and from work everyday (it's cold in Canada, she doesn't have a car, public transit is shit in my city), help her move in the freaking freezing rain right before holiday week while the guy she's been seeing conveniently went back to his home city, help her get her phone back...She came over to my place at new years eve, we made diner and all that but i knew nothing's gonna happen. Well, the guy is back from holiday break today (oh yeah, great timing) and ready to play again, so yeah she's having a date with him tonight and also, you know, ready to sleep over. "i might not be at my place tomorrow morning so you don't have to pick me up" was what she literally said to me just now. SURE! I KNOW I CAN'T BLAME ANYONE BUT MYSELF and it's certainly not her fault seeing other people because I didn't put myself out there in the first place. Just that, those feelings hit me so bad that I almost can't take it anymore.
Meanwhile, I randomly met this other girl and we've been talking everyday for a couple of weeks now. Apparently she was pretty into me and even tried (and is still trying) to ask me out. But obviously I was still all for the first girl...well I guess I will give this second girl a try...
Sorry for all the nonsense but I guess "if you want to be zoned, be nice to her." and *i hate those feelings* were what I was trying to say....
So six year relationship is back on track.
Seems the fact that we never really fought or talked about our problems eventually caught up to us. Talking shit through seemed to work just fine, we're pretty much back to 100%. Relationships are crazy, and if this doesn't go the distance that's fine, but I suppose we'll see.
Seems the fact that we never really fought or talked about our problems eventually caught up to us. Talking shit through seemed to work just fine, we're pretty much back to 100%. Relationships are crazy, and if this doesn't go the distance that's fine, but I suppose we'll see.
beat
Member
Sounds more like you were being "nice" to her, not nice.
Also... are you friendzoning girl two because she's nice to you?
Burger_Baron
Member
Ok GAF, back on the saddle after a long break. Let's review what has happened so far:
Last summer. Started to look for a date. Didn't manage to get one from the Reality World. Tried all kinds of things, like saying to people that they look really pretty (I live in Finland. Odds were against me, with lacking of social network)
Early fall. Made multiple online dating accounts. Send numerous messages to people. Didn't receive any responses.
Late fall. Was about to give up, when I received an response on OKcupid. Girl was cute. We sent a few messages here and there. She told her facebook profile, so I could verify she was real. But as I was/am lacking social skills, especially online, the conversation got dry really fast. So I suggested that we could meet up, as I was working in the same region (20 KM radius) as she was studying in. But then something happened. Maybe she got shy or something, idk. Every time I suggested a meeting or something, she wouldn't respond on time or not at all. And then she just stopped responding my messages. And I stopped trying, it was a lost cause.
Now, I got tired of that shit and left the dating sites to cool down for a couple of months. But after Christmas was over, I was bored to death. So I thought that maybe I could check my profile, see how many people had looked at my profile (Okcupid again). And suddenly, there were like 50 visitors, and 1 message.
This message was from a girl, not far from my home, and it was 10 days old. And I immediately thought: "A girl has sent me a message. Wow. Maybe there's hope after all." And I sent her a message with something original, smart and funny. And she counter-attacked pretty quickly. She seemed interested and funny, and i thought to myself that this could actually work.
Now, the problems come in. As I was afraid that I would lose this shot too, I started to wonder if I should ask her out. But as she said in one of the messages, that we should go grab some coffee sometime, I responded to her that "Yea, we could, but I have an empty calendar, so it would be better if you would suggest something. Actually the next week I have a class in that direction, so it would be nice." And she sends: "So, next week it is. What day would you like to meet? I can catch you up by the train station." Now, the problem is that we have sent only like 5 messages to each other, while I see people here who send 50-100 messages before they meet IRL. It feels kind of early and strange somehow, if not even suspicious. But on the other hand, I don't want things to go like last time again.
And the second and more serious problem. This girl has an update on her profile that she has been in an open relationship from 5 days before she has sent that message to me. Now I get real confused at this point. Is she looking for friends? Did she thought that "Hey, this guy looks nice, maybe I should send him a message if he wants to hang out." The dude is almost 10 years older than this chick. What if she is still looking for a relationship. And even if she does, what does this tell about the person itself?
I need an advice, GAF. I don't want to mess up someone who's already in a relationship. But then again, if I get 2 possible dates in half a year, I gotta try every change I can get. And I don't wanna screw this up like last time. Also, this is my first potential date, so I could use some general advice.
Last summer. Started to look for a date. Didn't manage to get one from the Reality World. Tried all kinds of things, like saying to people that they look really pretty (I live in Finland. Odds were against me, with lacking of social network)
Early fall. Made multiple online dating accounts. Send numerous messages to people. Didn't receive any responses.
Late fall. Was about to give up, when I received an response on OKcupid. Girl was cute. We sent a few messages here and there. She told her facebook profile, so I could verify she was real. But as I was/am lacking social skills, especially online, the conversation got dry really fast. So I suggested that we could meet up, as I was working in the same region (20 KM radius) as she was studying in. But then something happened. Maybe she got shy or something, idk. Every time I suggested a meeting or something, she wouldn't respond on time or not at all. And then she just stopped responding my messages. And I stopped trying, it was a lost cause.
Now, I got tired of that shit and left the dating sites to cool down for a couple of months. But after Christmas was over, I was bored to death. So I thought that maybe I could check my profile, see how many people had looked at my profile (Okcupid again). And suddenly, there were like 50 visitors, and 1 message.
This message was from a girl, not far from my home, and it was 10 days old. And I immediately thought: "A girl has sent me a message. Wow. Maybe there's hope after all." And I sent her a message with something original, smart and funny. And she counter-attacked pretty quickly. She seemed interested and funny, and i thought to myself that this could actually work.
Now, the problems come in. As I was afraid that I would lose this shot too, I started to wonder if I should ask her out. But as she said in one of the messages, that we should go grab some coffee sometime, I responded to her that "Yea, we could, but I have an empty calendar, so it would be better if you would suggest something. Actually the next week I have a class in that direction, so it would be nice." And she sends: "So, next week it is. What day would you like to meet? I can catch you up by the train station." Now, the problem is that we have sent only like 5 messages to each other, while I see people here who send 50-100 messages before they meet IRL. It feels kind of early and strange somehow, if not even suspicious. But on the other hand, I don't want things to go like last time again.
And the second and more serious problem. This girl has an update on her profile that she has been in an open relationship from 5 days before she has sent that message to me. Now I get real confused at this point. Is she looking for friends? Did she thought that "Hey, this guy looks nice, maybe I should send him a message if he wants to hang out." The dude is almost 10 years older than this chick. What if she is still looking for a relationship. And even if she does, what does this tell about the person itself?
I need an advice, GAF. I don't want to mess up someone who's already in a relationship. But then again, if I get 2 possible dates in half a year, I gotta try every change I can get. And I don't wanna screw this up like last time. Also, this is my first potential date, so I could use some general advice.
If she's in an open relationship then you wouldn't be messing up her relationship, you'd have your own relationship with her independent of the one she may have with someone else. Go for it if you can handle that and aren't the jealous type.
In regards to meeting up so soon, lots of girls on OKCupid don't want to do the talking thing and just want to get right to meeting up to talk in a neutral place. Just go with the flow and see what happens. She may just want someone new to sleep with, who knows, just go and at worst you have coffee with a cute girl and that's it.
GutsOfThor
Member
Ok I got another situation: I was cleaning out my google drive documents when I found a paper from a group project from my last year in college three years ago. It reminded me of one of the girls from the group and I remember us getting along well and her being nice and fun to talk to. She had a boyfriend at the time which is why I never asked her out or anything. I decided to look her up on facebook and sure enough she's on there.
Would adding her be a creepy thing to do even with my explanation?
Would adding her be a creepy thing to do even with my explanation?
I don't see why it would. Just say exactly what you said right here.
GutsOfThor
Member
That's what I figured as well but I'm always second guessing shit.....
The only real problem is that you're coming from a place of weakness, by being scared of fucking things up with a random girl. Adding her on Facebook won't harm your chances with her, if she is indeed single, which isn't clear. But being scared that you'll say or do the wrong thing and thus not get in her pants, that's a poor mentality. Be yourself and be a man. Talk to her as if she's a guy friend. If she doesn't like you for being you, that's her loss. Trying to convince her that you're cool will only make you look not cool.
hawkshockey11
Banned
You know that thing where a guy always ends up as the girls friend rather than a love interest? (not gonna say the word)
Well I experience something similar where I start the initial dating stages with a girl, we have a good amount of sex, and then in a few short weeks they get back together with their ex or find their "soul-mate." It has happened with the last 5 girls I've been interested in.
This last one sucked extra hard since she had been at school in nyc in the fall and we got really relationshipy. I visited her twice and we boned, got really drunk, and had a good time each time. We planned a lot of stuff for winter break (lots of drugs, exotic sex, etc) when she was coming back home and the second day back she falls in love with her ex.
It's like I never get a buffer period to prepare. The people I'm with seem to change their minds in a day at most.
Well I experience something similar where I start the initial dating stages with a girl, we have a good amount of sex, and then in a few short weeks they get back together with their ex or find their "soul-mate." It has happened with the last 5 girls I've been interested in.
This last one sucked extra hard since she had been at school in nyc in the fall and we got really relationshipy. I visited her twice and we boned, got really drunk, and had a good time each time. We planned a lot of stuff for winter break (lots of drugs, exotic sex, etc) when she was coming back home and the second day back she falls in love with her ex.
It's like I never get a buffer period to prepare. The people I'm with seem to change their minds in a day at most.
Ask her out instead and show that you're interested through actions, not words. Life isn't a Hollywood RomCom
Sappy declarations of love rarely work.@Empowe: Everyone on a datingsite is very selectively showing themelves at their best. At their most sportive, adventurous and travely. I have pics up of myself breathing fire, surfing, playing tennis and playing chess in a river. Just because I think I'd like a woman who's interested in those things as well. But yesterday I was also just some guy geeking out losing his shit over Communitys return to form. So don't worry about it too much.
On the other hand, I also think you have to be proud of the person you are. That means you can either learn to be proud of where you are now. But, if you don't like your current life-position, it's only up to you to change it. Do you want to join a hiking club? Do it. Not because of some random chick on OKC, but just because you want to do it. Jump in the deep end and see what comes of it. Chances are there will be other people who you can talk to. Women even, who might hve something more to say then "Hi" and "Nice weather, innnit?"
Unless you think you can avoid these feelings, (and it turns out you didn't) don't get too close and don't invest soooo much time in anyone. You fell in love or became infatuated with a girl who was already seeing someone, without showing her what your true intentions were. Sorry to be so harsh, but yeah, you didn't exactly take the best course of action here
And it's true, those feelins really hurt. They can be avoided by finding someone who falls for you as much as you're falling for them.
Don't tell people you melt everytime you see a picture of them
Could be construed as kind of creepy. Where do you know her from? Can you meet her again? Talk to her a couple of times, see if there's any actual chemistry. If there is, ask her out. Be honest with yourself here, if there's no chemistry, move on.
Update for myself:
A week ago I asked my best friends girlfriends cute sister if she wanted to go salsadancing this friday. She said yes, and I only replied: "Cool, looking forward to it." Yesterday-evening I come online on facebook, see she's online as well, and I said hi to set up a time. We get to talking about some random stuff (including community, which she never heard of) for over half an hour. That's when I remember the not texting a lot before an actual meet up. So I say the salsacafe starts at ten, I have to go, but if that's ok by her? She says that's great, but if I wanna go get drinks bforehand? Why yes, yes I would
So that wnet pretty well. Plus she is gonna watch one ep of community, and she had better like it! Otherwise I'm gonna be a sad panda
But it's gonna be a cool night anyway.
On the other hand, I also think you have to be proud of the person you are. That means you can either learn to be proud of where you are now. But, if you don't like your current life-position, it's only up to you to change it. Do you want to join a hiking club? Do it. Not because of some random chick on OKC, but just because you want to do it. Jump in the deep end and see what comes of it. Chances are there will be other people who you can talk to. Women even, who might hve something more to say then "Hi" and "Nice weather, innnit?"
Unless you think you can avoid these feelings, (and it turns out you didn't) don't get too close and don't invest soooo much time in anyone. You fell in love or became infatuated with a girl who was already seeing someone, without showing her what your true intentions were. Sorry to be so harsh, but yeah, you didn't exactly take the best course of action here
And it's true, those feelins really hurt. They can be avoided by finding someone who falls for you as much as you're falling for them.
Don't tell people you melt everytime you see a picture of them
Could be construed as kind of creepy. Where do you know her from? Can you meet her again? Talk to her a couple of times, see if there's any actual chemistry. If there is, ask her out. Be honest with yourself here, if there's no chemistry, move on.Update for myself:
A week ago I asked my best friends girlfriends cute sister if she wanted to go salsadancing this friday. She said yes, and I only replied: "Cool, looking forward to it." Yesterday-evening I come online on facebook, see she's online as well, and I said hi to set up a time. We get to talking about some random stuff (including community, which she never heard of) for over half an hour. That's when I remember the not texting a lot before an actual meet up. So I say the salsacafe starts at ten, I have to go, but if that's ok by her? She says that's great, but if I wanna go get drinks bforehand? Why yes, yes I would
So that wnet pretty well. Plus she is gonna watch one ep of community, and she had better like it! Otherwise I'm gonna be a sad panda
But it's gonna be a cool night anyway.Robot_Rave
Neo Member
hey I just need some advice here:
I met this girl online about a week and a half ago, we've seen each other about 5 times, I'm just wondering when and how I should make a move on her, is it too early to do that? We seem to get along ok, we have some things in common, I'm just trying to think how I can tell her that I like her, should I just take a risk and go for a kiss and see what happens? At least I'll know exactly how she feels about me then. Any advice would be appreciated
I met this girl online about a week and a half ago, we've seen each other about 5 times, I'm just wondering when and how I should make a move on her, is it too early to do that? We seem to get along ok, we have some things in common, I'm just trying to think how I can tell her that I like her, should I just take a risk and go for a kiss and see what happens? At least I'll know exactly how she feels about me then. Any advice would be appreciated
jimmypython
Member
Unless you think you can avoid these feelings, (and it turns out you didn't) don't get too close and don't invest soooo much time in anyone. You fell in love or became infatuated with a girl who was already seeing someone, without showing her what your true intentions were. Sorry to be so harsh, but yeah, you didn't exactly take the best course of action here
And it's true, those feelins really hurt. They can be avoided by finding someone who falls for you as much as you're falling for them.
Thanks for the reply. I agree with you completely.... I know it won't change anything but she just started seeing this guy..(less than 3 weeks)
Omegasquash
Member
hey I just need some advice here:
I met this girl online about a week and a half ago, we've seen each other about 5 times, I'm just wondering when and how I should make a move on her, is it too early to do that? We seem to get along ok, we have some things in common, I'm just trying to think how I can tell her that I like her, should I just take a risk and go for a kiss and see what happens? At least I'll know exactly how she feels about me then. Any advice would be appreciated
If you met her online a week and a half ago and have seen her 5 times, you better get in there and kiss her. I'd reckon that she likes you. Here's an idea:
"Hey you know what?" (Kiss her) "I like you. Doing stuff with you is fun."
From what you've shared, it seems like you just need to nut up and go in for it.
stn
Member
So you've been on 5 dates? Dude, just make a move. Unless she's super-conservative then you're late with making a move.hey I just need some advice here:
I met this girl online about a week and a half ago, we've seen each other about 5 times, I'm just wondering when and how I should make a move on her, is it too early to do that? We seem to get along ok, we have some things in common, I'm just trying to think how I can tell her that I like her, should I just take a risk and go for a kiss and see what happens? At least I'll know exactly how she feels about me then. Any advice would be appreciated
hey I just need some advice here:
I met this girl online about a week and a half ago, we've seen each other about 5 times, I'm just wondering when and how I should make a move on her, is it too early to do that? We seem to get along ok, we have some things in common, I'm just trying to think how I can tell her that I like her, should I just take a risk and go for a kiss and see what happens? At least I'll know exactly how she feels about me then. Any advice would be appreciated
These situations might have something to do with eachother. Making your intentions clear through body language, and flirting and everything, and knowing when to go in for a kiss is really hard for a lot of people. I can't flirt for the life of me (getting better) and I'm also completely clueless as when to kiss someone. With an ex of mine I asked, after three dates, can I kiss you? It was really awkward. With another girl she said: "Do you want to kiss me?" Otherwise, nothing would have happened. I'm still pretty much clueless with this. Sucks.
edit) alcohol helps.
PflargBlarg
Member
Nooooooo. That's guaranteed going to give off creeper vibes to anyone who sees it. Declarations of love are almost never a good idea, even in person. Doing it over facebook would be bad.
I've been lurking in this thread a looong time and I need some advice.
I'm on Match, I saw a girl I'm interested in but can tell she isn't subscribed (so she can't see my messages). She did however hide her name in her profile so I assume that is to contact her on Facebook.
Basically I screwed up sending her my message on Facebook (they want a $1) and it seems like any message I send, even after paying the $1, goes to her spam folder (Other Inbox).
My last resort is to try and add her as a friend on Facebook. My attitude is the worst that'll happen is she declines and I just write her off... but my brain is causing me to hedge on trying to add her as a friend (which is stupid, I don't even know the girl).
Yay or nay?
I'm on Match, I saw a girl I'm interested in but can tell she isn't subscribed (so she can't see my messages). She did however hide her name in her profile so I assume that is to contact her on Facebook.
Basically I screwed up sending her my message on Facebook (they want a $1) and it seems like any message I send, even after paying the $1, goes to her spam folder (Other Inbox).
My last resort is to try and add her as a friend on Facebook. My attitude is the worst that'll happen is she declines and I just write her off... but my brain is causing me to hedge on trying to add her as a friend (which is stupid, I don't even know the girl).
Yay or nay?
hawkshockey11
Banned
This seems like too much in my opinion. I'd say not to bother with her.
Thank you! I needed a different perspective, my friends were being useless.
anarckitty
Member
Hmmm... I haven't tried to send anyone a friend request on Facebook for a while, but can't you send a message along with the friend request...or did they change that?
If you can send a message along with the friend request then you can actually give her a heads up as to why you're sending her the request.
Two things could happen:
A. She's flattered that you went out of your way just to contact her.
B. She thinks you're some kind of weirdo.
I have no idea either, BUT she did hide her name in her profile which leads me to believe she wants to be found....for free!
I used to use dating websites, but I never paid for one.
See, this is how it used to be, but Facebook won't let you send messages with friend requests anymore.
If it's a total stranger you have to pay $1 to keep it from going to their spam box. So if I were to add her she'd probably have no idea why I am adding her.
You can create free profiles and she's active. She hid her name in the profile description (I'm assuming) to be contacted via Facebook.
anarckitty
Member
That sucks. I'd probably just move on then. Isn't OkCupid free? You may want to try that one out, who knows, maybe she's on there too.
I'm committed to Match for a couple more months but it wouldn't hurt to create an OKCupid I guess.
Oh, then I don't know anymore. I'd say if you're gonna go the FB route, make sure your FB game is strong.
anarckitty
Member
lol. Yeah. If you do decide to pay the $1 then make sure you don't start off the conversation with..."So, I paid a dollar to send you this message...."
Just decided to throw up a Hail Mary and text some girl I met off OKC a few weeks ago. We went out for a couple of drinks and a walk, and she ended up going across the country for the holidays. I never bothered to even text her the entire time since I was focusing on another girl.
Let's see how this one plays out.
Let's see how this one plays out.
But it sounds like such a great opening line.
I actually did pay the dollar but she hasn't read the message yet. I'm starting to suspect it still went to the Other Inbox along with my first "free" message.
Just bloody add her ffs, who cares? :lol It's the lesser of two evils compared to paying for the message. If she doesn't want to add you, fine, you know she isn't interested and you have one dollar! The whole thing is coming from a poor place to begin with and goes against pretty much everything we usually talk about in here but if you're that interested and want to chase her, go for it. It's not a big deal in the long run. And you're right, if her name is visible on her profile, that is an invitation to contact her where nobody has to pay. Same thing with having their msn or kik name or whatever listed publicly. They want you to text them elsewhere. I see it all the time.
anarckitty
Member
Best of luck to you.
Honestly, if I was still single and someone did send me a message with that line, I would think it's really funny and actually be flattered/somewhat intrigued. Then again, I'm not your stereotypical girl.
How do you get over someone who keeps following you around trying to hold on to a friendship? This girl I had feelings for was seeing me and someone else at the same time and she picked him (she wasn't cheating, it was more of a casual thing, but it doesn't really matter because the ending is the same). I told her that my intentions with her were 100% romantic, we had dated, hooked up at the end of those dates, and everything, and that I wasn't interested in being platonic when I have feelings for her. I'm not the kind of guy to sit around and be either a back-up lover or a simp while she pursues things with someone else. That, to me, is torture. We have a 6 week break and she messages me asking if we could hang out and get coffee during the second week so I have to have this conversation AGAIN, re-stating my intentions and telling her to call me if she changes her mind, but that I had to move on and I didn't want to be friends because I wasn't ready for that. Fast forward to being back at school and every time I see her she comes around to my space in a way that seems like an obvious cry for my attention and conversation. (hanging around me, attempting to get physically closer, engaging other people in a group conversation I'm involved in even though she isn't great friends with anyone there, etc.) I know nothing involving this situation has changed. I know she still likes, hell, apparently loves, the other guy (apparently she admitted this to one of my friends while she was drunk, not that it changes anything), and I'm trying to move on, but her attempts to hang on to me and maintain some form of relationship fitted to her liking without any respect to me and mine is making this way too difficult. What do I do? Do I confront her about this? I still have feelings for her and the way things are going are almost painful. I don't engage her in any meaningful conversation, but I'm not being a dick to her. If she waves, I'll smile and wave back, if she addresses me, I'll respond although it'll usually be a short couple word answer I would give a casual acquaintance rather than a friend. I just....need space and time and I feel like she's trying to have her cake and eat it too.
- Status