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[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Did she e-mail you, so you can look up her e-mail?

Nope. When I posted that, he'd just given it to the first guy who'd have to give it to the second guy and apparently she was at school or work till night? I dunno.

I. Do. Not. Know. I'm panicking a little.

 

[Tik-Tok]

No, I got hit pretty spot on.

Nope, because think about how the guy shes currently with would feel if he found out the kind of things she was saying to you.

Now realize that if things had worked out how you wanted them to, you would now be that guy.

 

[ChubbyHuggs]

Nope. When I posted that, he'd just given it to the first guy who'd have to give it to the second guy and apparently she was at school or work till night? I dunno.

I. Do. Not. Know. I'm panicking a little.

It'll be okay. It's not like you have to answer her e-mails back.

 

[trab pu kcip]

Nope. When I posted that, he'd just given it to the first guy who'd have to give it to the second guy and apparently she was at school or work till night? I dunno.

I. Do. Not. Know. I'm panicking a little.

what do you have to lose

 

[Kevtones]

Well I scaled back my dating life to really focus on one person these days. Serial dating got ridiculous (and fun at times).


Really enjoying the person that I focused on. Great person and extremely engaging in every right way. Curious and excited to see where it goes

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

It'll be okay. It's not like you have to answer her e-mails back.

They're all gonna pressure me to do so.

what do you have to lose

My fragile sense of self.

 

[PBY]

Nope. When I posted that, he'd just given it to the first guy who'd have to give it to the second guy and apparently she was at school or work till night? I dunno.

I. Do. Not. Know. I'm panicking a little.

live a little dude.

life is too short to worry about stuff like this. fuckit. go out w/ her, have fun, have an awkward night, get drunk, whatever. You'll either have a good connection or a good story.

 

[ChubbyHuggs]

They're all gonna pressure me to do so.

Not cool, bro. I thought you were above peer pressure.

 

[trab pu kcip]

My fragile sense of self.

as I see it the worst thing that could happen is that you don't like her/you don't hit it off together.
in both cases that's not your fault. so there's nothing to be insecure about

 

[Tdog987]

I'm having trouble lasting long enough and not being able to get it up. How long should before sex should I get one off?

 

[Pau]

My fragile sense of self.

A part of dating is about being vulnerable and how you act when things don't go your way. Might as well take the jump now rather than later and learn from it.

So I have this friend that I knew since we were kids. He's handsome, smart and nice. I haven't seen him in a few years. He's been in a few relationships and currently he's in one with a pretty awesome girl. I was catching up with him the other day and he told me that the only reason he's with her (or any other girl for that matter) is for sex. He told me that he's happiest when he's single, but he feels the need to be in stable relationship, mainly for the sex. He said he goes thru the motions (going out/movies/etc) just to keep her happy. He's never cheated before and he not up for random sex.

How do you guys feel about what he said? Anybody else feel the same way or doing the same thing?

It's not like there aren't girls out there who want a sex-only relationship. Maybe his girlfriend is aware of his feelings and doesn't care and is okay with the arrangement. But really, the best thing to do is to be honest. If you need to trick someone in order to get laid, that's pretty damn sad.

 

[Out of Working Order]

You never truly know what a good opener is until they respond. And even if it works, who knows if it'll work on the next one. Questions are a lot better than sexual inuendos or a simply Hello though. As for the traveling thing, you could try making some guesses instead and be slightly funny about it? That'll be different to say the least. It'll also show you are fearless and aren't scared of her, which is a good thing. That's always something to strive for.

That's a good suggestion, I suppose. I might try to show a sense of humour in any future emails.

If I'm getting too pushy just tell me to STFU I just think it's a shame there's still a stigma attached to seeing a therapist for something that might by bothering someone. C'est tous

And I honestly have no clue how to get a girls attention on an American dating site. From everything I've read, women have it really tough filtering through all the bullshit assholish messages, and decent guys have it really tough standing out from them. I've heard "pizza or sushi?" is a good opener

I use a different site here in Holland, where you get matched with people, so it's much easier to get a conversation started. But even then it's obvious there's an abundance of women. Either I'm sort of bitter, or my viewpoint that women can afford to be less spontaneous and more picky is actually true. For example: One girl had, as an opener: "what would be your dream trip?" So I replied: "I once actually dreamed of snowboarding down one side of a mountain, and on the other side is was summer, and you could surf there. As it happens I went surfing in San Diego two months ago, and went on to Salt lake City immediately after. Now snow there though )" Her prewritten response to her own question showed up, which said: roadtripping in the US. Which matched PERFECTLY with my own answer. After that she manually replied: that's cool. No follow up on the vacation similarity, nothing interesting, nothing spontaneous. So my interest in her immediately plummeted. After that I replied: Has the trip to the US happened yet, or is it still just something from your dreams? If she doesn't come up with something interesting, I'm out Am I being jaded here?

Ha ha - you're not being pushy; you're just trying to help.

I wouldn't say you're being jaded. You've put in some effort and she hasn't. Then again, getting a reply is a good start. If she just gives you a 'nope' in her second reply, then I'd definitely move on. You just know when it's you that's putting in all the effort to continue a conversation, and they aren't.

Ugh. I'd probably compare online dating to fishing. Even if you get a tug on the fishing line, chances are they won't stay for long.

 

[Septimius]

that's funny, I always say the same about guys. maybe that's what's wrong hah.

Well, in this situation, seemed like the point was that the guy had already tried. The point isn't "pull away!", it was more "if you were the last one to take initiative, she will do it, if she really wants to". Which is true of guys, too.

 

[Minamu]

That's a good suggestion, I suppose. I might try to show a sense of humour in any future emails.

It's different and that's good. Today I opened two girls with "Hey, do you know how much a polar bear weighs?" and one of them actually knew the punny answer

Spoiler

(enough to break the ice)

and they both liked it. I also decided to be a bit bold and rewrite four girls that had never responded during the previous week with "Didn't your mom teach you that it's rude not to answer someone when they're trying to talk to you? " 50% success rate so far. Sometimes you just gotta be a bit bad boyish and call them out on being boring.

 

[waypoetic]

I'm so getting it on with this black girl. Aw yeah

 

[Septimius]

It's tough to hear now, but I just think he meant that you would really have to ask yourself if someone was willing to completely lead on another person while they secretly have a great relationship with their current partner, is that the kind of person you want to have an intimate relationship with?

Food for thought, and not easy to swallow when the wallow is heavy.

I very much doubt that she's having a perfect relationship with someone else. You wouldn't seek out the attention of someone else like this, in that case. She's probably trying to convince herself that the relationship is great, which could be from a fear of leaving the relationship.

All in all, it's definitely not a good thing, no matter what the circumstances. On that, we both agree!

 

[Burger_Baron]

Ok GAF, back on the saddle after a long break. Let's review what has happened so far:blahblahbla

blah

blahblah

I received an message from a girl, not far from my home, and it was 10 days old. And I immediately thought: "A girl has sent me a message. Wow. Maybe there's hope after all." And I sent her a message with something original, smart and funny. And she counter-attacked pretty quickly. She seemed interested and funny, and i thought to myself that this could actually work.

Now, the problems come in. As I was afraid that I would lose this shot too, I started to wonder if I should ask her out. But as she said in one of the messages, that we should go grab some coffee sometime, I responded to her that "Yea, we could, but I have an empty calendar, so it would be better if you would suggest something. Actually the next week I have a class in that direction, so it would be nice." And she sends: "So, next week it is. What day would you like to meet? I can catch you up by the train station." Now, the problem is that we have sent only like 5 messages to each other, while I see people here who send 50-100 messages before they meet IRL. It feels kind of early and strange somehow, if not even suspicious. But on the other hand, I don't want things to go like last time again.

And the second and more serious problem. This girl has an update on her profile that she has been in an open relationship from 5 days before she has sent that message to me. Now I get real confused at this point. Is she looking for friends? Did she thought that "Hey, this guy looks nice, maybe I should send him a message if he wants to hang out." The dude is almost 10 years older than this chick. What if she is still looking for a relationship. And even if she does, what does this tell about the person itself?

I need an advice, GAF. I don't want to mess up someone who's already in a relationship. But then again, if I get 2 possible dates in half a year, I gotta try every change I can get. And I don't wanna screw this up like last time. Also, this is my first potential date, so I could use some general advice.

OK, here's my wind up from what has happened. I posted this earlier on this thread, and was told to go with the wind, to see what would happen. And frankly that was the only option I had back then.

So, I sent her some more messages, and went to a nearby city to see her. So, I was cautious at first, of course, as all this sounded a little bit off. But, when I met her, it was even better than I had ever hoped for. She was everything you could wish. Beautiful as you could wish, funny, smart, a little bit crazy ( Not too much). I mean seriously, she just had gotten the Kaepora Gaebora ( Owl from TLOZ: OOT ) with triforce tattooed on her leg before the date. We went to the nearby cafe and sat there and talked for 5 hours about everything. Laughing to Douglas Adams, talking about society, telling some batshit crazy stories. She was...Perfection. I laughed with her in 5 hours more than I have laughed for months.

Now, this might be some euphoric exaggeration from the event, but all I can think about is her, her smile, her face, her subtle look when she was listening to me and when we were just sitting there quietly, looking at each other into the eyes, and sometimes I didn't even realize that I had been looking at her eyes for about minute without saying anything. I want to show her everything I know, experience everything I can with her. She is a keeper, if I ever see one.

But, as every fucking single thing in this life, it isn't as easy as that. As I have found out from her facebook profile, that she has been not only been in open relationship with someone for half a month or so, but ENGAGED with someone, for about an year. And then I realized that she had mentioned some boyfriend a couple of times in the cafe, but at the time, I thought it was just some ex she was referring. Now what the hell!

Now I am torn up by doubt and despair. I don't know her intentions, as I am bad at reading other people's behavior and body language. And she didn't mention anything about her true intentions. We were just having fun and laughing. And there are 3 options at this: 1. She just want's to be friends, and just do something every now and then when she's bored. But this is not what I want, as I have fallen for her from head to toes. And i don't know how long I can't stand it. 2. She want's to be more than friends, but this could range as anything from soul mate to just "partner". Also that would mean that she is cheating/breaking up with her fiance, which would already tell something about the person itself, as I am looking for more serious relationship right now. And I could be regretting the decision later. and 3. would be something completely different, that I don't even want to think about.

Either way, somebody is gonna get hurt. And it feels like... it's a doomed ride before it even started. And I have already cried the whole day trying to figure this out. And I should be trying to go back to school, but if this thing crashes down onto my back, I am going to fall back into the pit where I have been for so long time. It feels so sad, because yesterday (The date) was the happiest day that I have had for as long as I can remember.

But yet it's so strange, the facts don't add up at all. She has her facebook filled with pictures where she is happy with her fiance, and the way she has been mentioning her boyfriend has been anything but offensive. And she has plenty of friends, so that can't be it. Still, she had an Okcupid account, where she went regularly, has an "Available" status, she contacted me, wanted to meet me. On a dating site. What was she expecting?

I haven't talked to her about this or questioned these things from her. It makes me regret once again everything I have tried to do to make my life more liveable. It is always the same thing. It just... drains all the juice out of me. It's so unclear and sensitive situation, that it's the only thing I can focus right now.

I need some advice GAF. This is totally new area of life to me, not that I wasn't expecting something fucked up like this. If someone more experienced could give me something encouraging, or useful, I would be really grateful.

I know that this girl is something special for me. I just wish that it would be something special to her too.

 

[Leeness]

Wow Internet, so many double posts.

 

[Leeness]

They're all gonna pressure me to do so.



My fragile sense of self.

Do it! You're a cool dude.

Trash the Canucks together, that always becomes a good conversation for all Vancouverites.

Spoiler

y u do this 2 us, nucks???

 

[beat]

I haven't talked to her about this or questioned these things from her.

I'd say ask her. Don't go in accusing her, just ask her in a neutral way. It does you no good to wonder what she's thinking.

and I would prepare to expect that she is at most in an open relationship and not that likely to get serious and monogamous with you. Maybe it could happen. Heck, maybe she just hasn't updated her FB in a while. But don't hope for the best.

 

[kaizoku]

I have a girl who keeps backing off when it feels like things might get real. She was told that I like her so if I wasn't obvious enough she definitely knows now! After finding out she didn't react badly, we've sat at a table and been pretty close so our arms were touching across the table etc. not flirty as such but definitely within personal space.

But then she didn't reply to a text. So I took that as a hint and break off comms with her and we didn't contact for like 3 weeks and yesterday she IMs me.

Previously I'd suggests we go to a new restaurant and she replied "yes let's rally the troops!" Which I took as a date dodge. So I didn't contact her for a couple weeks after that and she texted me with "hey stranger".

So it's like she's reached out to me twice now, but I also feel like she's brushed me off a few times, intentionally or not I don't know.

I reckon I at least need closure on this girl, what's my next move? Ask her out on a date specifically?

 

[giga]

I have a girl who keeps backing off when it feels like things might get real. She was told that I like her so if I wasn't obvious enough she definitely knows now! After finding out she didn't react badly, we've sat at a table and been pretty close so our arms were touching across the table etc. not flirty as such but definitely within personal space.

But then she didn't reply to a text. So I took that as a hint and break off comms with her and we didn't contact for like 3 weeks and yesterday she IMs me.

Previously I'd suggests we go to a new restaurant and she replied "yes let's rally the troops!" Which I took as a date dodge. So I didn't contact her for a couple weeks after that and she texted me with "hey stranger".

So it's like she's reached out to me twice now, but I also feel like she's brushed me off a few times, intentionally or not I don't know.

I reckon I at least need closure on this girl, what's my next move? Ask her out on a date specifically?

Looks like she wants to be friends. Rally the troops? That's a huge hint.

 

[stn]

@kaizoku

"Rally the troops" = invite friends = I don't want this to be a date. Sorry man. Your best bet is to ask her to rally her troops so you can at least meet some new girls.

@Burger_Baron

You seem aware of the overall situation, that's good. The reality is you need to distance yourself from this girl. If she's dating all over the place and engaged, you're just setting yourself up for failure. She may be dating you just because she has wet feet from her engagement.

What you have is an infatuation. From the sounds of it she's your first anything, and because of that you're more attached. Yeah, it sucks, I know. Just make sure you don't view her as your first and last chance at happiness. Lots of guys become stuck over one girl and see her as their only means of comfort, and they convince themselves no-one else can fit the bill. In reality, lots of girls can. You'd be surprised what a pretty face and nice smile can do for any guy from any girl.

My advice would be to chill out, free your mind from her. She has baggage, man. Lots of it. The signs are clearly there that she's not a good fit, especially not for you when you're so emotionally invested. Any more time you spend with her will probably result in more grief and more dating-age posts.

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

So I just saw/talked to the girl that pursued me and then completely wigged after we kissed, we hadn't talked since that weekend. She came up to me, restarted the last conversation we had about music, I told her about this concert I am going to and the conversation ends friendly/flirty.

Well the next night she texts me late and asks when the concert is and her and her female friend are now "thinking of going...", which was a bit surprising since she literally just started seeing someone else.

I have no intention of pursuing a girl with a boyfriend, it's a dick move. We have texted a few times since and she has not mentioned her new boyfriend once, but she has been flirty/playful and even went so far as to ask me what I thought of her and to "be honest..."

Should I take this to mean she still likes me and keep her in mind if she becomes single again, or am I being played for attention? Up to this point we were platonic friends for about a year and her being super flirty in texts is new to our dynamic.

 

[NeOak]

So I just saw/talked to the girl that pursued me and then completely wigged after we kissed, we hadn't talked since that weekend. She came up to me, restarted the last conversation we had about music, I told her about this concert I am going to and the conversation ends friendly/flirty.

Well the next night she texts me late and asks when the concert is and her and her female friend are now "thinking of going...", which was a bit surprising since she literally just started seeing someone else.

I have no intention of pursuing a girl with a boyfriend, it's a dick move. We have texted a few times since and she has not mentioned her new boyfriend once, but she has been flirty/playful and even went so far as to ask me what I thought of her and to "be honest..."

Should I take this to mean she still likes me and keep her in mind if she becomes single again, or am I being played for attention? Up to this point we were platonic friends for about a year and her being super flirty in texts is new to our dynamic.

You're Plan B.

 

[anarckitty]

You're Plan B.

Yep. Not saying she isn't attracted to you, but it sounds like she's looking for some ego stroking. Time to start looking elsewhere.

 

[PflargBlarg]

I'm having trouble lasting long enough and not being able to get it up. How long should before sex should I get one off?

You know better than us.
Honestly, just focus on some top notch foreplay and getting her off first via going down on her and she should be pretty happy about that. Most women can't get vaginal orgasms any way so actual penetration is more about the feeling of intimacy, 'standard' pleasure, and the most fun way of getting the guy off.

And hey, in my opinion, being quick is better than not being able to finish what you started. Going soft after a straight 10-15 minutes of thrusting is no fun at all.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

So I just saw/talked to the girl that pursued me and then completely wigged after we kissed, we hadn't talked since that weekend. She came up to me, restarted the last conversation we had about music, I told her about this concert I am going to and the conversation ends friendly/flirty.

Well the next night she texts me late and asks when the concert is and her and her female friend are now "thinking of going...", which was a bit surprising since she literally just started seeing someone else.

I have no intention of pursuing a girl with a boyfriend, it's a dick move. We have texted a few times since and she has not mentioned her new boyfriend once, but she has been flirty/playful and even went so far as to ask me what I thought of her and to "be honest..."

Should I take this to mean she still likes me and keep her in mind if she becomes single again, or am I being played for attention? Up to this point we were platonic friends for about a year and her being super flirty in texts is new to our dynamic.

I will offer a counter point of view, although I don't necessarily disagree with what others have said.

It could be that she does indeed still like you and wishes things were different between the two of you. Seeing you again may have brought this back to the forefront and she has taken the opportunity to connect with you again. She may be seeing the other guy, simply because the two of you weren't together. Now she is feeling you out to see how you feel about the situation.

Either way, don't be "Plan B." Don't wait around for her to be single again. If she just started seeing her BF, there may not be much of a connection there and she'd rather drop him to be with you. If they've been dating for awhile however, things could be more serious. But the last thing you want to do is wait around to become the consolation prize.

 

[TheExodu5]

So I'm not ready to call it a relationship yet, but I think I'd say it's clearly heading in that direction with FB girl. We've cooked a few meals together, she's met a few of my friends, I've slept over twice...all within the span of a week. What's more she's already invited me to an event over a month down the road, so she's obviously serious. I've already booked Valentine's Day reservations just in case as well.

Only downside is that she's a snorer and I'm a light sleeper...so I think I'll have to invest in a set of earplugs. At least she's aware of her snoring so I don't have to bring it up, heh.

 

[isny]

So I'm not ready to call it a relationship yet, but I think I'd say it's clearly heading in that direction with FB girl. We've cooked a few meals together, she's met a few of my friends, I've slept over twice...all within the span of a week. What's more she's already invited me to an event over a month down the road, so she's obviously serious. I've already booked Valentine's Day reservations just in case as well.

Only downside is that she's a snorer and I'm a light sleeper...so I think I'll have to invest in a set of earplugs. At least she's aware of her snoring so I don't have to bring it up, heh.

Grats!

 

[anarckitty]

You know better than us.
Honestly, just focus on some top notch foreplay and getting her off first via going down on her and she should be pretty happy about that. Most women can't get vaginal orgasms any way so actual penetration is more about the feeling of intimacy, 'standard' pleasure, and the most fun way of getting the guy off.

And hey, in my opinion, being quick is better than not being able to finish what you started. Going soft after a straight 10-15 minutes of thrusting is no fun at all.

This guy knows what's up in regards to the foreplay. Also, It can be pretty embarrassing for all parties involved if the guy isn't able to finish and just goes soft.

 

[depths20XX]

So I'm not ready to call it a relationship yet, but I think I'd say it's clearly heading in that direction with FB girl. We've cooked a few meals together, she's met a few of my friends, I've slept over twice...all within the span of a week. What's more she's already invited me to an event over a month down the road, so she's obviously serious. I've already booked Valentine's Day reservations just in case as well.

Only downside is that she's a snorer and I'm a light sleeper...so I think I'll have to invest in a set of earplugs. At least she's aware of her snoring so I don't have to bring it up, heh.

Damn, you move fast. Congrats though!

 

[shintoki]

It's tough to hear now, but I just think he meant that you would really have to ask yourself if someone was willing to completely lead on another person while they secretly have a great relationship with their current partner, is that the kind of person you want to have an intimate relationship with?

Food for thought, and not easy to swallow when the wallow is heavy.

Definitely.

The fact that she was actively pursuing something with you, while in a relationship is a massive red flag. Because what if the same thing happens again, but the opposite way this time.

 

[zatara]

So here I am going strong with my vow to distance myself from the girl I work with that likes me but won't date coworkers I've said hi in passing keeping things professional and just that...and today she sends me an email......

"you're quiet"

This girl is something else....

 

[gazele]

I think my dad is trying to set me up with a friend's, friend's, relative or something. I know nothing about this girl. At all. He just gave my e-mail address and I basically had no say in this.

THIS IS TOO EPHEMERAL AND VAGUE FOR ME.

Dude what if she looks like felicity?

Either way it'll probably be a good story

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

So I'm not ready to call it a relationship yet, but I think I'd say it's clearly heading in that direction with FB girl. We've cooked a few meals together, she's met a few of my friends, I've slept over twice...all within the span of a week. What's more she's already invited me to an event over a month down the road, so she's obviously serious. I've already booked Valentine's Day reservations just in case as well.

Only downside is that she's a snorer and I'm a light sleeper...so I think I'll have to invest in a set of earplugs. At least she's aware of her snoring so I don't have to bring it up, heh.

Congrats man! Glad to hear it is working out.

I dated a girl who was a snorer awhile back and she wasn't even a very big girl at all. It was a little troubling at first, because I'm a light sleeper too. But she wasn't sawing logs at high decibels. It was quiet, but noticeable. After I got use to it, I'd just wake up, acknowledge her snoring and go back to sleep.

 

[Pastry]

I've been back in the dating scene for about a year and a half since my last long term relationship ended. I'm an interesting, good looking and social guy so when it comes to the date itself I'm perfect. Conversation flows, plenty of flirting, etc. I kind of fall to pieces in the time in between dates, I honestly have no clue what to do. If I can make it past the three date barrier then it's smooth sailing and I'm fine. In between the first and third date I'm a fucking hot mess.

I've got a second date tomorrow with someone I've connected really well with and I'm hoping I can push through and get to the point where I'm not confused a shit between dates. Any advice on getting through the super awkward first stages of dating someone, especially the time in between dates?

 

[NeOak]

So here I am going strong with my vow to distance myself from the girl I work with that likes me but won't date coworkers I've said hi in passing keeping things professional and just that...and today she sends me an email......

"you're quiet"

This girl is something else....

Just looking for attention, trying to appeal to your feelings.

Don't give in!

 

[zeemumu]

So here I am going strong with my vow to distance myself from the girl I work with that likes me but won't date coworkers I've said hi in passing keeping things professional and just that...and today she sends me an email......

"you're quiet"

This girl is something else....

 

[freshair]

I've got a second date tomorrow with someone I've connected really well with and I'm hoping I can push through and get to the point where I'm not confused a shit between dates. Any advice on getting through the super awkward first stages of dating someone, especially the time in between dates?

What makes the inbetween stages so awkward for you?

 

[giga]

So here I am going strong with my vow to distance myself from the girl I work with that likes me but won't date coworkers I've said hi in passing keeping things professional and just that...and today she sends me an email......

"you're quiet"

This girl is something else....

I don't know. I think you can still be friends with her. It can be more than a "Hi" relationship. Just don't flirt.

 

[Servbot24]

So here I am going strong with my vow to distance myself from the girl I work with that likes me but won't date coworkers I've said hi in passing keeping things professional and just that...and today she sends me an email......

"you're quiet"

This girl is something else....

don't know the whole story but there's no need to be so dramatic dude. just be friendly to people whether they like you or not.

 

[GutsOfThor]

So I'm not ready to call it a relationship yet, but I think I'd say it's clearly heading in that direction with FB girl. We've cooked a few meals together, she's met a few of my friends, I've slept over twice...all within the span of a week. What's more she's already invited me to an event over a month down the road, so she's obviously serious. I've already booked Valentine's Day reservations just in case as well.

Only downside is that she's a snorer and I'm a light sleeper...so I think I'll have to invest in a set of earplugs. At least she's aware of her snoring so I don't have to bring it up, heh.

Fuck yeah man! Glad everything is working out for you!

 

[NeOak]

don't know the whole story but there's no need to be so dramatic dude. just be friendly to people whether they like you or not.

He wants more than friendship, she says she doesn't date coworkers.

Our guy wants to have time to dedicate to someone else, she tries to guilt trip him.

Dramatic? yeah

Spoiler

right.

 

[zatara]

He wants more than friendship, she says she doesn't date coworkers.

Our guy wants to have time to dedicate to someone else, she tries to guilt trip him.

Dramatic? yeah

Spoiler

right.

That in a nutshell.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

He wants more than friendship, she says she doesn't date coworkers.

Our guy wants to have time to dedicate to someone else, she tries to guilt trip him.

Dramatic? yeah

Spoiler

right.

If you're friends with someone and they're avoiding you wouldn't you ask what's up?

 

[zatara]

If you're friends with someone and they're avoiding you wouldn't you ask what's up?

Its more than that, we spent so much time together at work that people already thought we were dating. Ive told her numerous times that we can still be friends but I wouldn't be giving her all the attention I did before. I told her I had feelings for her, she said she had feelings for me but wouldn't date coworkers. She expected me to spend as much time with her at work regardless.

 

[TheExodu5]

Damn, you move fast. Congrats though!

Heh yeah it's moving a lot faster than I ever expected. I don't know...we just kind of really clicked off the bat. It never feels like I'm chasing, and vice-versa. It just feels like we're completely on the same page, with a mutual level of interest.

 

[Alastor3]

Its a waste of time to wonder why, man. Nobody can answer that for you. Give her space and see what happens. Also, telling her you'll "be alone" until she returns is one of the worst things you can do. Women want to see a man who has his head up and can stand on his own feet no matter what. It basically sounds like your whole life revolves around her.

Remember how people here were telling you to improve your attitude first before pursuing a relationship? I wouldn't be surprised if your previous disposition towards life affected your relationship somehow.I get that you're desperate because its taken you this long to meet someone, but you're thinking of it completely wrong.

What you MUST do is the following: give her space. Next, drop the "woe is me I'm alone" mindset. Lastly, this is what you SHOULD be thinking: "My name is grap3fruitman. I used to think I would never meet anyone. But I did. This is proof that I am able to socialize and meet women. I must make sure that I become more positive from this first relationship and make sure that I'm a better person for the next time I meet another girl."

Chin up, man. You've proven that you are capable of meeting women, as everyone here was telling you.

Thank you! Even if im not grap3fruitman, I was ... I am in the same situation as him and your post really touch me. I need that right now.

 

[War Peaceman]

What's a good way to start a conversation with someone potentially dateable that you see in the street/shopping? I'm fine talking to people, I just am unsure of the dos and don'ts of approaching people in such a fashion.