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[demented]

Both, more about hooking up but I wouldnt count relationship out.the only problem is i get bored of things easily, and in this case that mean women. It happened in the past, always looking for new or better. Might make me look like a bad person but if I sugercoat it and describe it as finding "the one" that would make it more acceptable to people, but no need to do that Im being honest here.
And the effort isnt the problem, I go to gym and work out, put a lot of effort there, but in this case its like working out and never getting any gains or effects.
Most of girls Im interested in end up being taken, which doesnt mean I still wont keep trying for a while (unless its like for a lot of them with relationships going for 3-4-5 years while being in early twenties or so....... ) And the ones that are free just end up going nowhere with. Another thing I started doing is becoming better friends with taken ones and have them point me to their single friends
But at times it just feels too annoying to put up with just to meet with girls and then I rant, like I did here. Tomorrow I might just be feeling totally opposite but the situation still remains and wont be changing.
Like for example out of my close friends half are in LTR that are basically marriage, and others are foreveralone with chance of success at summer...

I dont know, 5 am now, new day tomorrow might bring me new perspective, plus going to my psychologist and this is one of the main things i wanna focus on. But really, I hate it here. Wherever I go abroad it just ends up being so much better., think I need a new vacation soon, maybe a week or two long one.


P.s. i havent mentioned any other negative aspectsmof my country, just focused on this one.


Edit: writing this stuff down helps, better to vent than have it pile on. Also makes you think more clearly, like I did now. I know I am a narcissist, I feel entitled to everything, perfectionist and used to getting things, and when I cant it just angers or depresses me, but then i try to figure out ways around it and work for it like now, where besides ranting I really am thinking of solutions, or getting advice, how to get over this terrible situation Im in but it seems hopeless.. For now.

Also typing from ipad sucks, too many typos and its a pain to edit.

 

[Lucian Cat]

Got back from a lunch date. She was very cute and seemed really cool too. We went to a figure drawing group and then got sushi afterwards. At the end I said we should do something again and she just said "yeah" and that was about it... not very convincingly I guess? I dunno. A couple times she commented on how I'm a very relaxed, go-with-the-flow kind of guy, which is true, but I can't tell if she was really about that. Anyways it seemed like things went pretty well overall but at this point I'm pretty much used to not getting second dates. :/

Not sure how long I should wait to text... maybe later tonight.

If you liked her, text her whenever you feel comfortable. If she says no then that's that and you don't have to mull it over for days. And if she says yes well you've got yourself another date.

 

[Servbot24]

I texted her and said she was awesome.

And she replied and said the feeling is mutual

 

[MogCakes]

I texted her and said she was awesome.

And she replied and said the feeling is mutual

That's great! Congrats on a successful date.

 

[BentMyWookiee]

So I developed a pretty big crush on a girl that I work with. We hung out outside of the office the other day (we went out for drinks with a few other coworkers). Even though there were others there we actually spent most of the night just talking to each other. I do feel like she may be into me as well.

I don't really have issues asking girls out anymore these days, so I don't really need advice on how to ask her out. And I'm guessing the advice that I'll get here is "don't shit where you eat." As much as I know that is probably the smartest and best advice, I can't help but want to ignore that and ask her out anyway. I feel like I've really hit it off with her and I guess what makes me want to ask her out despite how bad of an idea it may be is that I've developed a stronger attraction to her than I have with any other girls in the past few years. It's a type of attraction that I have felt before, but it's so rare for me and I've found that the only long lasting relationships that I've had where with the few girls where I've had this similar feeling. I've noticed that when I don't feel an attraction as strong as this towards a girl that I'm dating, then it usually on lasts a couple of months before I just completely lose interest. And when I say "attraction" I don't just mean physically (though that is definitely part of it), it's her personality that really does it for me.

I guess I'm not really sure what the point of my post is since no matter how much I argue with myself in my head that asking out a coworker is bad idea, my feelings still want to ignore all common sense and logic.

 

[beat]

If I didn't have the internet, I would be boned. It's been quite difficult for me to meet new people outside of college. I live in a pretty small and heavily conservative town. My environment doesn't allow me to meet people around my age, or at least ones I would want to be friends with.

At the very least, I'll be in Tampa more due to volunteering, so I'll have more places to check out when I wait for my shift to start up.

Spoiler

I am volunteering at a Hospice, with patients, so I doubt I'll meet too many new people via that route.

I pretty much have no experience about living in a small town.

But you're in college now? Use that. It's not impossible to meet new people once you've graduated, but college makes things so much easier: you're taking new classes every few months, there's clubs and social activities -- it takes more effort once you leave college.

Or if you're not, why don't you leave your current town? (You might have valid reasons for not leaving, for all I know.) This is not to say that moving to a big city is a cure-all. This story rings so true to me about how hard it can be to make friends in a bigger city, at least until you "find your tribe".


I do want to unpack "or at least ones I would want to be friends with" though. This might be valid or it might not, I don't know. Are you rejecting women on the surface because they're socially or politically conservative? I guess I can kind of understand that, to some degree. But you definitely might be missing out because you're looking for reasons to reject someone rather than reasons to connect with them.

 

[stn]

It would really just be a lot easier to end my life than go see a shrink. I fucking hate shrinks so much.

So you'd rather kill yourself rather than step on the path towards solving your problems? You also didn't answer my question (I expected as much). *sigh*

Always the same rollercoaster ride with you, man. People try to help you but you literally refuse everything. Can you please at least check out the depression thread and ask others how they dealt with their own?

 

[grap3fruitman]

So you'd rather kill yourself rather than step on the path towards solving your problems? You also didn't answer my question (I expected as much). *sigh*

Always the same rollercoaster ride with you, man. People try to help you but you literally refuse everything. Can you please at least check out the depression thread and ask others how they dealt with their own?

I don't have anything I'm grateful for. There. Maybe my bed because that's all I ever look forward to but that's it. What am I supposed to be grateful for? This shitty deck I got dealt?

And what's some know-it-all with a degree that doesn't have a clue going to say that will magically make my life better?

 

[EdibleKnife]

I don't have anything I'm grateful for. There. Maybe my bed because that's all I ever look forward to but that's it. What am I supposed to be grateful for? This shitty deck I got dealt?

And what's some know-it-all with a degree that doesn't have a clue going to say that will magically make my life better?

They're not supposed to say anything magical. You tell them your story, why you feel the way you do, they spend their time and energy analyzing it and give you recommendations to squash those feelings. That is if you get a good one or at least a partway competent one. Most don't spend their entire youth grinding through school just to dick around. They want to help people. They may help, they may not, but if there's a possibility that they could help you, isn't it at least worth a try? Also I'm sure you have at least one other thing to be grateful for than your bed.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

I don't have anything I'm grateful for. There. Maybe my bed because that's all I ever look forward to but that's it. What am I supposed to be grateful for? This shitty deck I got dealt?

And what's some know-it-all with a degree that doesn't have a clue going to say that will magically make my life better?

I know you're feeling shitted about the hand you were dealt, but wouldn't like to get past that and perhaps learn to enjoy life? Getting professional help can put you on the path to doing just that.

And saying that you'd rather kill yourself that go to a therapist is just a form of avoidance. You'd rather go to extreme measures rather than deal with your issues directly. That isn't a healthy attitude about anything.

You really do need to seek help from someone. Preferably a trained therapist, but if not them, a friend or family member that can help guide you through this. Forget about finding someone to date, you have much bigger issues you need to address. Even if you met someone today, these issues would remain.

 

[I'm an expert]

Grapefruit, how are your brothers with the ladies?

 

[Deleted member 47027]

I don't have anything I'm grateful for. There. Maybe my bed because that's all I ever look forward to but that's it. What am I supposed to be grateful for? This shitty deck I got dealt?

And what's some know-it-all with a degree that doesn't have a clue going to say that will magically make my life better?

Better than listening to this bullshit. Get out of here and go get help, and if you don't want it from a therapist, at least talk to other people who are dealing with depression as well.

Here's the link for you, making it as easy as possible: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=541440

I keep asking you to go there for two reasons - one is that you should not be dating right now. You should be taking care of yourself. Two, these are good people over there and not therapists. It'll be good to talk to them.

Spoiler

unless you have been, I don't check in there often

Dating is probably the worst thing you could add into your life now. No significant other, even if successful, is anything more than a temporary band-aid for what's really hurting. Much like a band-aid, it'll hurt when removed as well. Don't waste your time trying to find someone if you suffer from depression. There are success stories, obviously, but it's a hell of a gamble.

 

[Tsukumo]

I miss read so many hints and signs last night GAF (possibly) incoming long story.

Happens to everyone. We all know the right thing to say... when we run conversations in our head at the end of a long day, under the shower. "I should have said..." and so on and so on. It's ok, don't beat yourself up over this.
Before we go into things, let me just tell you in many instances I've found very difficult to understand what was going on: he/she, who invited who, who's with who.

So last night me and two mates went out to a few clubs last night and a girl we all knew was out. Now this girl had been texting one of the friends I was out with a few weeks before Christmas but that seemed to break off. Now when we saw them last night I went over to see them and just show that I was out and would see them later, as the friend that had been texting her wanted to go as soon as I went over to see them.

You should never go for girls your friends like, especially if these girls are in your social circle because:
1- proves you can only get girls you have easy access to.
2- your friend might get hurt. If this happens over and over, as in everytime you like a girl he calls dibs first, that's messed up on his part. That doesn't seem to be the situation here though.
3- you can NEVER be sure that a girl who's playing a friend of yours, or being played by a friend of yours, is going after you to make him jealous (which, honestly, I think is what this is all about).
4- all your friends are going to think "will he go after my girlfriend next?". You don't want those ideas roaming around in your friends' heads. If you value your friends, that is.
A girl should never cost you your dignity and your loves (relatives, hobbies, friends).

So we leave and go onto the next club, we were there for a while enjoying ourselves when her and her friend come in. Now at this point in the club there were two coworkers in there, one being female the other male. When the coworkers saw me dancing with this girl the coworkers thought it'd be a good idea for them to "cockblock" me and have the female coworker grinding on me. So after they had their fun I got back to dancing with the girl who me and my mates knew.

Either she (your co-worker) likes you in a sexual way or she likes you in a... friendly way. When I say friendly, I mean as a genuine friend. Like she thinks you are cool, or hot but not for her, or too young/old but fun to be around. She did you a HUGE favour, whether she knew you liked that other girl or not.

Now as it was starting to get later now and the club started emptying out I decided to head onto the next club which was starting to get busy. So from here on out I'm dancing with her in the final club we would be busying till we leave. Now during our time in the final club my friend start to get a bit sour that me and this girl he had been text a month before were dancing together. So with him bitching in the background and us just dancing she starts to tease me because I had a love bite on my neck (me and a few mates had been out the night before in a different town). I was just teasing her back saying that I would end up carrying her to a taxi because I've seen her in a few drunken states before. Her friend is still with her but she didn't seem that bothered I was with her, she was with another guy anyways. But for the first time that I know of (bearing in mind I've seen them out a few times) he friend goes home with out her so that just leaves us two out together.

She was basically telling you to make a move.

Now time flies by were just dancing away and she's texting her friend who has just got home tell her she is still out with me, but the instead of sending the text she asked me to but my first and last name on the text for her.

Can't understand a single word XD
Anyway, she was basically getting confirmation to her friend she was ok with you. You were IN, as they say.

The end of the night comes around and we're leaving the club and we get outside, she takes her shoes off for god knows what reason and I end up carrying her to the cash machine so I could get some money out the for my taxi and then carry on carrying her to a takeaway for some food. She orders what she want and its pretty full so we're sat there talking about all sorts of things. Fast forward 10-20 mins she's got her head on my shoulder and she start to bring up people she had hooked up with the weekend before (not slept with).

"It's okay if we hook up. I do this all the time".
Also, if you believe that when she says hook up that doesn't mean "slept with", you are wrong.

At the time I had no idea how to react to it whether its because of her teasing me about my love bite before or to get me jealous or some shit.

but she DID get you jealous. That's a game she is also playing on your friend and you are letting her.

So we carry on talking and we leave after she gets her food, she asks where I live to see if its worth sharing the taxi price, but because we live on opposite sideS of the town she decides against it.

I'm sure that's the reason she decided against it ;D.
Come on, she was throwing herself at you. She gave you all sorts of openings.

Two taxis arrive for us she hugs me

the hug of death, where she draws you close and then pats you on the back.
That was more for her than you: she liked you, gave you every opportunity she could think of, but then you didn't make a move and she felt bad so she gave you a hug to get one in return.

and says thanks for tonight or something like that then we both go our separate ways. Now I'm kicking myself because I should of gone for the kiss then, in have no problem with doing it but for some reason I just couldn't with her.

The kiss wasn't the problem. Even if you kissed her you would have lost her anyway and your story would have been the same of your friend: you would have called two-three days later, thinking it's on, you would have acted as if she is ready to be sexed and she would have surprised you by acting as if nothing has (and will ever) happened. And you would've posted about her as the usual "we made out, now she doesn't answer my calls, WHY!" that we get almost every day on this thread.

Now today my friend (the one that was texting her) is talking to me on Facebook telling that I could have took her home etc, which I was surprised at after him falling out with me last night. But then he quickly jumps on to the whole you sometimes only get one chance and all this shit. Should I contact her some time next week on Facebook? Ive had her as a friend on there for ages, I've havent just added her after last night. I find it easier to talk to them in person, I have no idea what to say on Facebook or whether I should after her telling me about her hookups from the previous weekend. Help GAF.

I deeply suspect this guy is fwb with her and that he knows you struck out because she told him. Now he's getting pleasure by rubbing salt in your wound.
Don't friend her on Facebook! She will get validation and you will get nothing.
Here's the thing: clubs are a place for hook ups, whether they turn into relationships or not. They have a code, an etiquette of expressions, dynamics and situations you can only understand once you become acquainted.
It's like going to a foreign country: unless you can speak the language, there's a lot that will end up lost in translation. I think she gave you a chance because she wanted to make your friend jealous (maybe she is grilling him to be a boyfriend), because she saw you grinding with the co-worker, and because she probably saw you as a "player" (that's why she gave you the remark on the love-bite).
There a lot of things in your story which are recurrent in most stories of guys who go to clubs, grind/make-out, but don't end up with the much expected one night stand. Befriend someone used to clubs, learn the ropes and you will see how easy it can be: if this happened to you once, chances are it will happen again (this type of girl getting interested in you I mean). Make it so that next time you will be ready and receptive to this type of attention. Hopefully she won't be someone a friend of yours likes

 

[Necrovex]

I pretty much have no experience about living in a small town.

But you're in college now? Use that.

Bad writing on my part. I thought I should have edited that post originally but I didn't do it at the time and later forgot. I graduated back in May, and I am currently stuck at home until I can find a full time position rather than a part time one. That's why I am in still in this town.

To address your other point, I don't really reject a woman solely based on her political or religious views (unless it's homophobic, racist, or shits on the poor). Most of the people here who are my age are either married, have kids, or simply don't attract me on a physical level.

Edit 3.0: Replying on a phone blows!!!!!

 

[DutchNeon]

3th date tomorrow with her. It's going great! We're going to the cinema to watch a movie we both like followed by a drink or so the at a pub

How would one ask if I could sleep at her place (she has a 2 person bed). I'm not really into asking it as it's so dam brutal and I don't want it for sex. Just want to be with her for a night

I don't have a 2 person bed so I could ask her if she wants to sleep at my place but would be a bit weird - she sleeping in my bed and me in a sleeping bag. We live pretty close together so distance isn't an excuse

It's not like a demand but it would be so great to be with her for a night.

 

[RC Cola]

Bleh.

I think my long-distance relationship is coming to an end. Not completely sure, but we've been talking some, and things weren't looking good. She had to get some sleep before we completed talking, but I think things are pretty much settled. We can talk more to get more closure (ending some misunderstandings/doubts), but that's about it.

She decided she doesn't want or have time for a relationship (of any kind). She essentially wants to dedicate her time/energy into furthering her career (12+ hours a day at work, ~8 hours of sleep, little time for anything else). IIRC, she doesn't even want to "settle" down for another ~6ish years I believe. Hates children (because they aren't worth the investment), would rather be alone, etc.

I don't really have a problem with that (her life, her decision, though it sounds pretty lonely/horrible to me). Except for the fact that this a bit of a 180 from what she seemed to be telling me before.

Her OKC profile talks about relocating, thinking about her future husband, interest in long-term dating, etc. She has always talked about wanting to leave the country. Hated being caged by her parents. Now she doesn't want to leave her family. They raised her well, and she owes it to them to care of them while they get older.

I don't think she's being entirely honest with me (or herself perhaps). She makes it sound like this has always been her goal/desire. But they sure seem to conflict with her past actions. She half-mentioned talk about "just looking for a short-cut" as a reason to be on OKC/other sites (oh wow, that sure makes you look good).

Seems like some red flags to me. I would think she would have made this clear MUCH sooner if this was actually true. I made it very clear what I was looking for (and she seemed to play along...she certainly didn't tell me to ease up on my feelings). I find it difficult to understand why she wouldn't mention this much sooner. She doesn't really like to talk about it (kind of a first with our discussions), which is another thing that bugs me.

 

[Lucid07]

Happens to everyone. We all know the right thing to say... when we run conversations in our head at the end of a long day, under the shower. "I should have said..." and so on and so on. It's ok, don't beat yourself up over this.
Before we go into things, let me just tell you in many instances I've found very difficult to understand what was going on: he/she, who invited who, who's with who.

First off all sorry for the awful grammar in the first post it was pretty late at night in the UK when I was typing it, it was also significantly hard typing it on a tablet.

You should never go for girls your friends like, especially if these girls are in your social circle because:
1- proves you can only get girls you have easy access to.
2- your friend might get hurt. If this happens over and over, as in everytime you like a girl he calls dibs first, that's messed up on his part. That doesn't seem to be the situation here though.
3- you can NEVER be sure that a girl who's playing a friend of yours, or being played by a friend of yours, is going after you to make him jealous (which, honestly, I think is what this is all about).
4- all your friends are going to think "will he go after my girlfriend next?". You don't want those ideas roaming around in your friends' heads. If you value your friends, that is.
A girl should never cost you your dignity and your loves (relatives, hobbies, friends).

So I totally understand what you mean, but was 1-2 months ago now, things kind of faded off between them so does that still count for never go for girls your friend LIKED. I would fully hold back if I new that he still liked her. I also feel like I held back still knowing that he used to like her.

She was basically telling you to make a move.

Yeah she probably was, like I said missed opportunities everywhere.

Can't understand a single word XD
Anyway, she was basically getting confirmation to her friend she was ok with you. You were IN, as they say.

What I was say trying to say was we were there long enough for her friend to get home and she was texting her saying she was still with me. Again kicking myself.

"It's okay if we hook up. I do this all the time".
Also, if you believe that when she says hook up that doesn't mean "slept with", you are wrong.

I know I said hook up, I guess I should of said made out (we have all sorts of slang for it in the UK). So I still standby that she didn't sleep with them.

I'm sure that's the reason she decided against it ;D.
Come on, she was throwing herself at you. She gave you all sorts of openings.

Yeah, fuck, not much more I can say about that.

the hug of death, where she draws you close and then pats you on the back.
That was more for her than you: she liked you, gave you every opportunity she could think of, but then you didn't make a move and she felt bad so she gave you a hug to get one in return.

The kiss wasn't the problem. Even if you kissed her you would have lost her anyway and your story would have been the same of your friend: you would have called two-three days later, thinking it's on, you would have acted as if she is ready to be sexed and she would have surprised you by acting as if nothing has (and will ever) happened. And you would've posted about her as the usual "we made out, now she doesn't answer my calls, WHY!" that we get almost every day on this thread.

So I guess your saying not to contact her? I want to, but I just don't know yet.

I deeply suspect this guy is fwb with her and that he knows you struck out because she told him. Now he's getting pleasure by rubbing salt in your wound.

Maybe once upon a time they may have been, but now I highly doubt it. With the rubbing salt in the wound, I would hope he wasn't like that.

Don't friend her on Facebook! She will get validation and you will get nothing.

Too late for that, shes been on my Facebook for about 2 years.

So I am still pondering whether or not to contact her, bearing in mind we were out nearly three days ago now. Fuck.

 

[Moppet13]

So everything worked out with this girl, we're going out and then everything kind of turned to shit. We both lost our jobs because the Casino we worked at went bankrupt, and she told me she had herpies. That last part has me kind of worried... I'm not sure what to do about it exactly. I'm glad she told me but it has me kind of freaked out, it's all I can think of really... Anyone have any thoughts on this?

 

[CygnusXS]

So everything worked out with this girl, we're going out and then everything kind of turned to shit. We both lost our jobs because the Casino we worked at went bankrupt, and she told me she had herpies. That last part has me kind of worried... I'm not sure what to do about it exactly. I'm glad she told me but it has me kind of freaked out, it's all I can think of really... Anyone have any thoughts on this?

Wait... have you had sex yet?

 

[obin_gam]

So on my way commuting to work each morning I go by buss for some miles after traveling by train. On this bus is a quite cute girl that gets on and off (she gets of a bit earlier than me though) at the same stations as I am .

I'm not sure yet if it's worth approaching her, it's around 7 am and all the commuters (including me and her) are quite tired at that time for obvious reasons.

Should I? I'm trying to imagine ow I would react if anyone would come up to me that early in the morning with the intent of asking me out, but I dont know that answer...

And if I should, how would I start the conversation? I suck at coming up with small talk on the fly lol. Never know what to say

 

[Moppet13]

Wait... have you had sex yet?

No way, she has herpies. I'm pretty ignorant to how that stuff works so I'm avoiding it.

 

[CygnusXS]

No way, she has herpies. I'm pretty ignorant to how that stuff works so I'm avoiding it.

Well I was curious if you two had been intimate before she disclosed that.

So on my way commuting to work each morning I go by buss for some miles after traveling by train. On this bus is a quite cute girl that gets on and off (she gets of a bit earlier than me though) at the same stations as I am .

I'm not sure yet if it's worth approaching her, it's around 7 am and all the commuters (including me and her) are quite tired at that time for obvious reasons.

Should I? I'm trying to imagine ow I would react if anyone would come up to me that early in the morning with the intent of asking me out, but I dont know that answer...

And if I should, how would I start the conversation? I suck at coming up with small talk on the fly lol. Never know what to say

Why don't you just try making eye contact first and see how she reacts to that? If she smiles back, then that should take some of the pressure off from saying hello.

 

[Moppet13]

Well I was curious if you two had been intimate before she disclosed that.

That's wouldn't make this too difficult.

 

[Liquid_015]

Hey guys, quick question

If this person that I like has a BF and they're in a long distance relationship... but the girl and I have been going out - went to the movies and had dinner twice, and will be bringing her to dinner and drinks later this week... The question is... is she leading me on, and how should I approach this? I mean she hasn't really mentioned much about having BF, expect once after we watched the movie "Her" and she simply said "Yeah, I can relate to the movie... because of the long distance relationship (something along those lines)". I'm not sure what to do :/

 

[CygnusXS]

Hey guys, quick question

If this person that I like has a BF and they're in a long distance relationship... but the girl and I have been going out - went to the movies and had dinner twice, and will be bringing her to dinner and drinks later this week... The question is... is she leading me on, and how should I approach this? I mean she hasn't really mentioned much about having BF, expect once after we watched the movie "Her" and she simply said "Yeah, I can relate to the movie... because of the long distance relationship (something along those lines)". I'm not sure what to do :/

You should talk to her about it.

 

[Liquid_015]

You should talk to her about it.

I'm not really sure how to approach about it. In addition, i've been picking her up for the most part. I mean... I'm not sure what to think of it...

 

[CygnusXS]

I'm not really sure how to approach about it. In addition, i've been picking her up for the most part. I mean... I'm not sure what to think of it...

"So we've been spending a lot of time together recently, to the point where it's starting to feel like we're dating. But you're in a relationship and we haven't really talked about it. We could probably benefit from some clarity. I don't know if you know, but I do like you and I want to know if this is going somewhere or if we're just friends. Sorry if this is awkward, but it's been bugging me a lot lately."

 

[Liquid_015]

"So we've been spending a lot of time together recently, to the point where it's starting to feel like we're dating. But you're in a relationship and we haven't really talked about it. We could probably benefit from some clarity. I don't know if you know, but I do like you and I want to know if this is going somewhere or if we're just friends. Sorry if this is awkward, but it's been bugging me a lot lately."

That could work... but maybe I need to scope things out a bit more? ie give it more time?

 

[CygnusXS]

That could work... but maybe I need to scope things out a bit more? ie give it more time?

That sounds like code for "never," but I wouldn't recommend doing anything you don't feel comfortable with. I mean, she is in a relationship, so odds are she's not into you that way anyways and is probably just lonely.

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

That could work... but maybe I need to scope things out a bit more? ie give it more time?

You could ask now and find out for sure, or let yourself get even more attached... which one is going to hurt more if she doesn't give you the answer that you want?

 

[obin_gam]

Why don't you just try making eye contact first and see how she reacts to that? If she smiles back, then that should take some of the pressure off from saying hello.

Heh, yeah thats true. I dont know why I didnt thought of that, I think I always am looking for complicated excuses

 

[Dipper145]

I miss read so many hints and signs last night GAF (possibly) incoming long story.

If you were dancing in a club with her all night and you were both drinking you probably should have at least have gotten a kiss in during that rather than right when you go to say bye and get in the taxi.

There is no better time then to greasily make out with girls on the dancefloor then when you're drunk, single, and grinding up on eachother. If she turns you down, which she wouldnt cause you were dancing with her all night, everyones too busy and drunk and its too dark for anyone to notice anyway (incase you were worried at all about that)

 

[Liquid_015]

You could ask now and find out for sure, or let yourself get even more attached... which one is going to hurt more if she doesn't give you the answer that you want?

I definitely would so I can get this over with, but the problem is I know for sure that she has a BF in Asia. -_-'

 

[Pau]

I definitely would so I can get this over with, but the problem is I know for sure that she has a BF in Asia. -_-'

What makes you think she's interested in something other than a platonic relationship?

 

[Liquid_015]

What makes you think she's interested in something other than a platonic relationship?

That's true, but its just weird that she's always down for movies, and just going out in general and I met her just recently, and we've been meeting up at least 1-2 times a week. -_-

 

[electricshake]

What makes you think she's interested in something other than a platonic relationship?

Because according to gaf, guys and girls can't have platonic relationships.

 

[Pau]

That's true, but its just weird that she's always down for movies, and just going out in general and I met her just recently, and we've been meeting up at least 1-2 times a week. -_-

She might think you're good company. Doesn't automatically mean she wants to sleep with you. If you really think she does, ask her about it. Just don't make this more than it is.

 

[Liquid_015]

She might think you're good company. Doesn't automatically mean she wants to sleep with you. If you really think she does, ask her about it. Just don't make this more than it is.

Haha, your maybe right. I'm probably thinking too much into this. :/ Hmm... I guess I'll see how it goes. Though to be honest, i'm not really trying to sleep with her or get into her pants.

 

[Kevtones]

Well she came over last night for our fifth date. Movie night at my place (almost too early but with this).


We watched Boogie Nights (we had wanted to for about a week) but we had to now for PSH and reveled in his performance/the movie. We proceeded to watch 'After Porn Ends' and it was perfect supplement. Good documentary.


Afterwards continued the theme of the night. It was great. Digging on her and we really seem to be doing this right.


Had a great chat with her on the phone tonight, too

 

[Idde]

I don't have anything I'm grateful for. There. Maybe my bed because that's all I ever look forward to but that's it. What am I supposed to be grateful for? This shitty deck I got dealt?

And what's some know-it-all with a degree that doesn't have a clue going to say that will magically make my life better?

He's not going to magically make your life better. That's mostly up to you. And from everything we can tell here on GAF, you're not taking advice given here to do anything about it. You asked me for concrete advice, and then completely ignored it.

The "know-it-all with a degree" is somebody who specialises in your situation, and despite what you might think, you're situation isn't that special. It's gotta be reaally bad for you, I'm not denying that. But clinical depression, and the way to treat it, is a well known phenomenon.

And yes, a therapist, a decent one, is the only one who's going to be able to help you on your way. You're sick of the shitty deck you've been dealt? Well, get over yourself and do everything YOU can to change it. And your defeatist and contrarian attitude, which happen to be part of depression, aren't going to help you.

Heh, yeah thats true. I dont know why I didnt thought of that, I think I always am looking for complicated excuses

Couple of questions; do you get on at the same stop? Is it usually busy?

Just sit next to her, and say with a smile: "Hi, good morning." If she smiles back, ask her where she has to get off, what she's doing. Should be enough for a conversation. If she ignores you, or doesn't really smile back, just sit down next to her, and shut up

 

[Minamu]

No way, she has herpies. I'm pretty ignorant to how that stuff works so I'm avoiding it.

So read up on it. Truth is, you probably have it dormant as well without knowing it. That's actually statistically more likely than the opposite at a certain age. Herpies isn't even an STD and extremely common. Granted, sleeping with her while she has an outbreak would be stupid, but chances are you're gonna catch it one day anyway.

 

[obin_gam]

Couple of questions; do you get on at the same stop? Is it usually busy?

Just sit next to her, and say with a smile: "Hi, good morning." If she smiles back, ask her where she has to get off, what she's doing. Should be enough for a conversation. If she ignores you, or doesn't really smile back, just sit down next to her, and shut up

Yeah we get on the bus at the same stop. It's about me, her, and five other people that are the ones getting on the bus. The "Hi good morning" is a good advice. Not sure about sitting next to her if she doesnt smile back though, since the bus is basically empty. It will look wierd hahaha

 

[Kopite]

I've asked this before but I've got to do it again. How do you a approach a girl who doesn't know you but shares two classes with you? I've had my eye on this girl since day 1 but I've just no idea how I'm supposed to start a conversation with her. Apart from making eye contact once when I was giving a presentation we've never neveer communicated with each other.

Some details:

-She's studying Psychology, I'm studying CS.
-We share two classes this semester, one class has around 150+ students, the other has about half that number.
-We're 4 weeks into a 7-week semester.

Feels odd to ask about something that seems so trivial but I've asked some friends and in this thread but I've still got no clue on how to go ahead with it.

 

[obin_gam]

Seems I have to abort the mission. Found out accidentally she has a boyfriend (she was talking to the bus driver and I happened to overhear a small bit). Annoying to not even have a blissful chance...

Spoiler

Or... could I play it like I didnt accidentally found out she has a boyfriend and just see what happens?

 

[Minamu]

(Almost) always just go for it.

 

[LosDaddie]

Haha, your maybe right. I'm probably thinking too much into this. :/ Hmm... I guess I'll see how it goes. Though to be honest, i'm not really trying to sleep with her or get into her pants.

:lol Yeah right.

If you're not trying to smash, then why are you worrying about her leading you on? Be honest with yourself.

Talk to her about the BF. Don't be scared. Approach the situation like a man. Ladies do appreciate honesty in these situations.

So read up on it. Truth is, you probably have it dormant as well without knowing it. That's actually statistically more likely than the opposite at a certain age. Herpies isn't even an STD and extremely common. Granted, sleeping with her while she has an outbreak would be stupid, but chances are you're gonna catch it one day anyway.

Horrible advice, IMO. Even if he hasn't been tested for herpes, I still wouldn't blame him for not wanting to stick his dick inside someone with them.

But yes, educate yourself about herpes.

 

[electricshake]

So read up on it. Truth is, you probably have it dormant as well without knowing it. That's actually statistically more likely than the opposite at a certain age. Herpies isn't even an STD and extremely common. Granted, sleeping with her while she has an outbreak would be stupid, but chances are you're gonna catch it one day anyway.

Actually type 2 HSV is an STI and isn't that common. Type 1, the one that causes cold sores, isn't generally (though it can be transmitted sexually) and is common. Sounds like you too need to read up on it.

 

[FrigidEh]

Hi GAF, new to this thread. Here's some silliness for you to analyze.

Story begins a year ago, myself 18 years old and this girl (We'll call her C) 16. C is my best friend's sister's best friend so we've seen each other and gone to the same schools but never talked much. So a year ago we hooked up at a party and parted ways; I never thought about her again. A few weeks ago there was another party and we didn't talk at all throughout the entire night until it was just a few of us left and she started talking to me. We talked for around 2 hours non-stop and I would describe her demeanor as that of a puppy. Never in my life have I thought a girl was more into me than C. So I leave at 4AM, her with my number because my phone was missing. This was a Saturday and I waited till Wednesday for her to text me but no dice so I added her on facebook. I straight up asked her to hang out on the coming weekend and anybody can see by reading the messages that she really wanted to but sadly was busy all weekend. No problem, we snapchatted a bit afterwards and she seemed into it.

The following Wednesday my friends and I were headed out to the pond to skate around and I invited her that day. Again, she said she was busy but she constantly said sorry, next time for sure. This is where we stand now. C has not once texted/called me to initiate a conversation or snapchatted me without me sending an initial one. So I'm not too impressed and am wondering if the two year gap is an issue at this age? (I'm turning 20 in a month; she'll be 18 later in the year) I'm not big on asking a girl out for a third time when she has put almost no effort outside of our face-to-face interactions. Problem is I have oneitis for this girl so any advice/input is welcome. If anyone wants to go more in depth with the actual conversations between us, I'll be happy to oblige.

 

[Minamu]

Horrible advice, IMO. Even if he hasn't been tested for herpes, I still wouldn't blame him for not wanting to stick his dick inside someone with them.

But yes, educate yourself about herpes.

No no, of course he shouldn't do it if she's actively contagious, I wouldn't do it either. But it is one of the tamest diseases out there and it seems to be extra stigmatized in the US. Granted, there's two of them, but afaik, they are easily treatable.

Actually type 2 HSV is an STI and isn't that common. Type 1, the one that causes cold sores, isn't generally (though it can be transmitted sexually) and is common. Sounds like you too need to read up on it.

Ah yes, I forgot about that one, my bad. Still, there are worse things to worry about than herpes even if it isn't a cakewalk. Turning someone down because they have herpes seems a bit too judgemental to me, is all.

 

[obin_gam]

(Almost) always just go for it.

You sure?

Well, at least I would know what the worst answer probably would be. Prepare for the worst and you can only be positively surprised