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[belgurdo]

Two guys are in a locker room after their racquetball game when one guy notices the other has a cork in his ass.

"If you don't mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks terribly uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?"

"I can't," lamented the first man. "It's permanent."

"I don't understand," said the other.

The first guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge man in a turban came oozing out. He said, 'I am Hasan the Genie. I can grant you one wish.'

And I said ... "No shit?"

 

[Tarazet]

AM.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

i think you mean AM, not PM, dumbass.

 

[Coin Return]

I was hoping for a better punch-line. 4/10.

 

[Eminem]

Racquetball rules.

 

[belgurdo]

i think you mean AM, not PM, dumbass.

That is also part of the bad joke

 

[NLB2]

That is also part of the bad joke

I'd rip you on making up a shitty cover for not knowing time, but you've got an RE4 avatar so I'll let it pass.

 

[AntoneM]

that was terrible...
here's another one:

What were Tarzans last words?
"who greased the viiiine!?"

 

[Miburou]

Your avatar rocks, though.

 

[belgurdo]

There are 31 days in February. But only every second year, however.

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal."
The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins---if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

 

[Miburou]

I didn't get that joke at first because I kept pronouncing 'Amal' as it would sound in Arabic.

 

[Manabanana]

There are 31 days in February. But only every second year, however.

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal."
The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins---if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

:lol Excellent!

 

[nitewulf]

"They're twins---if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

*groans*

 

[impirius]

And then he told them to go to the 8th floor! Aaaaaahahahahaahahahahahaha

 

[NLB2]

And then he told them to go to the 8th floor! Aaaaaahahahahaahahahahahaha

:lol

That one doesn't count 'cause its not actually a joke.

 

[iceDragon7]

I got a fishy one
What do fish smoke under the sea?


SeaWeed

 

[Substance]

Why is it unsafe to tell jokes on ice?

Because the ice may crack up!

 

[iceDragon7]

Why is it unsafe to tell jokes on ice?

Because the ice may crack up!

Are you talkin to me?

 

[Jotaro]

One guy enters a bar with two wallets. The barman is the sole person with the dude. The barman is curious, he asks what's inside.

"Oh, I can show you if you want, but I tell you, it's done me nothing but troubles.
"I want to see it anyway, come on!"

Then he opens the first wallet, a miniature (really small) midget is in there, along with a miniature piano. The midget begins playing piano, and the barman quite enjoys it as the midget is really gifted.

"That's great! What's in the other wallet?"
"I tell you: nothing but trouble!"
"Come on!"

He opens it, a genie goes out. He says: I can only grant you one wish, so choose wisely.

Barman says: I want a billion bucks!

Poof! Then, there are ducks ducks everywhere, out of sight, all the city is plagued by ducks!

"Hey, I asked for a billion Bucks, not a billion Ducks!"
"I think the genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I wished for a 9-inches pianist?"