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[norm9]

From http://po.st/Yy2cQa

Although it is universally accepted that the infamous Nazi warlord committed suicide in 1945, a man called Herman Guntherberg has given a rather different story to the ultra-conservative Argentine newspaper El Patriota.

Guntherberg claims he arrived in Argentina at the end of the war, with a fake passport produced by the Gestapo, and he is in fact the Fuhrer himself.

Some might wonder why Guntherberg has been in hiding for so long. Well, he says, "I've been blamed for a lot of crimes that I've never committed.

"Because of that, I've had to spend more than half of my life hiding from Jews, so I've had my punishment already."

And why now? Well, Guntherberg says, it's finally safe to reveal his true identity because the Israeli secret services have finally abandoned their policy of pursuing Nazi war criminals.

He even claims he will publish an autobiography, under the name Adolf Hitler.

However Guntherberg's wife of 55 years, Angela Martinez, says there's no truth to the story, and her husband is in fact suffering from dementia.

There were lots of Nazis that left Germany for Argentina and other South American countries after the war, and for as long as I can remember, there's been talk of Hitler in Argentina.

Is the evilest man in the modern history also the oldest man in modern history? Is he the devil incarnate? Is he immortal? Is he popping up in the news while the world burns? When Tom Cruise failed in assassinating Hitler, could he have foretold of Mission Impossible being a fantastic franchise? Was bunker Hitler a body double? Or is it like his liar wife says, Hitler isn't Hitler, but an old man going crazy?

Guess we'll have to wait until his autobiography comes out to find out.

Shred these files about the fuhrer if alte.

 

[Gazunta]

Simpsons did it

 

[iMax]

There's a 128 year old man?!

 

[Strax]

I hope he his.

 

[old manatee]

Well, Guntherberg says, it's finally safe to reveal his true identity because the Israeli secret services have finally abandoned their policy of pursuing Nazi war criminals.

I'm sure they'd make an exception for Hitler.

 

[How About No]

BREAKING Elderly man in Argentina is an attention whore

 

[GurgleBot20]

This is one of those stories that makes me go, "what if?", Despite the fact that I should obviously know better.

 

[adj_noun]

There's a 128 year old man?!

Oldest person in the world is 117.

 

[Fuchsdh]

There's a 128 year old man?!

That's likely bullshit just like the rest of his story. The oldest verified person living is only about 112 or so.

 

[Pinko Marx]

The noses are different

 

[Zetta]

There's a 128 year old man?!

yeah that should be what his autobiography should be about.

 

[MMarston]

if he is, can we punch him?

 

[Sephzilla]

Israeli Secret Service: "Lets stop getting Nazi war criminals"

Guy: "I'm Hitler"

Israeli Secret Service: "CTRL+Z"

 

[Skellig Gra]

Is he actually 128 because I don't buy that.

 

[Jarrod38]

BREAKING Elderly man in Argentina is an attention whore

Found out why.

 

[Grizzlyjin]

Well, he's probably a liar to begin with about the 128 years old thing so...

 

[Master Yoshi]

Nein way this is Hitler.

 

[Neuromancer]

I know he's dead because I killed him myself

 

[norm9]

The noses are different

Noses get more bulbous when you hit triple digits.

 

[Bronx-Man]

Why the fuck would Hitler ever go "Hey guys, it's me, Hitler. Just chilling around over in Argentina"

 

[Figgles]

I think Israel would make an exception to the policy for Adolf Hitler.

 

[Shadow Puppetry]

The main thing that caught my attention is his age, gah dayum.

 

[Speevy]

Donald Trump can't even win at being most horrible.

 

[Cess007]

I'm sure they'd make an exception for Hitler.

I don't know why, but this made me chuckle. Sorry lol

Also, yeah, no way there's no way he's 128 years old or telling the truth for that matter. His wife must be right about the dementia, which is sad in a way

 

[Skellig Gra]

Why the fuck would Hitler ever go "Hey guys, it's me, Hitler. Just chilling around over in Argentina"

More like Chilltler amirite?

 

[valkillmore]

Simpsons did it

Of course they did, right? But how the F did you sneak that in as the first reply. No edits either. You colluding with OP right??

 

[JordanN]

Why the fuck would Hitler ever go "Hey guys, it's me, Hitler. Just chilling around over in Argentina"

He saw Trump get elected and realized being a racist warmonger is considered ok now.

 

[Radnom]

Is this the sequel to Bubba Ho-Tep?

 

[Master Of Illusion]

There's a 128 year old man?!

Being Hitler was born in 1889, if his wife were to confirm the age it could be a possibility.

Or he could just be 108 years old and no longer able to tell the difference between his left nut and a shoe.

 

[TheJLC]

"Hey guys I'm alive!!! Guys? What I do?"

 

[frontovik]

Mossad agents are already on the way to his address.

 

[Frozenprince]

Yeah gonna go ahead and just say this is some old guy with dementia.

 

[Simon Belmont]

Of course they did, right? But how the F did you sneak that in as the first reply. No edits either. You colluding with OP right??

Holy shit, a real conspiracy in all of this

 

[Pinko Marx]

Why the fuck would Hitler ever go "Hey guys, it's me, Hitler. Just chilling around over in Argentina"

Maybe he's tired of assholes evoking him and wants to set the record straight once and for all. Maybe even Hitler thinks Trump and friends are dirt. That'd be something.

"I'm Hitler, and even I think Trump is a jerk"

 

[Wag]

There's a 128 year old man?!

Eating babies has kept him young.

 

[Doctor_Thomas]

Different nose, different ears, different eye colour...

I mean, it's not Hitler. Hitler died. In a bunker.

 

[norm9]

He saw Trump get elected and realized being a racist warmonger is considered ok now.

This is the truth. The world wasn't ready for his opinions, yet.

Different nose, different ears, different eye colour...

I mean, it's not Hitler. Hitler died. In a bunker.

Surgery, old age, too much empanadas and chimichurri sauce can all affect one's appearance.

 

[MattKeil]

Noses get more bulbous when you hit triple digits.

But they don't completely change structure like that. The internal pattern on the left ears also don't match, which are as individual as fingerprints. And if anyone actually read the article they'd see that his wife of 55 years says he's just suffering from dementia.

 

[Bronx-Man]

He saw Trump get elected and realized being a racist warmonger is considered ok now.

I can't believe I didn't even consider that.

 

[Extra Sauce]

I feel like there are more chances of him being Hitler than 128 years old.

 

[PJV3]

I'm Napoleon and that isn't Hitler.

 

[Speevy]

But they don't completely change structure like that. The internal pattern on the left ears also don't match, which are as individual as fingerprints. And if anyone actually read the article they'd see that his wife of 55 years says he's just suffering from dementia.

Or maybe she's secret Eva Braun.

 

[D4Danger]

it'sa me, Hitler

How about them jews amirite

 

[Mahonay]

He is not 128.

 

[sdijoseph]

However Guntherberg's wife of 55 years, Angela Martinez, says there's no truth to the story, and her husband is in fact suffering from dementia.

Something something Occam's Razor.

 

[GurgleBot20]

I feel like there are more chances of him being Hitler than 128 years old.

I mean, they kind of have to go together. I'm really curious where this number comes from.

 

[jts]

Die Hitler, die.

 

[Asbel]

I've had to spend more than half of my life hiding from Jews, so I've had my punishment already.

I bet more people than you'd like to think would find this fitting punishment for Hitler.

 

[JSoup]

Donald Trump can't even win at being most horrible.

I mean, if it's dementia like the guys wife says, he's not being horrible. He just...has dementia. Which makes this a different kind of upsetting.

 

[TheCochese]

But they don't completely change structure like that. The internal pattern on the left ears also don't match, which are as individual as fingerprints. And if anyone actually read the article they'd see that his wife of 55 years says he's just suffering from dementia.

You are taking this way too seriously.