NCR Redslayer
NeoGAF's Vegeta
How was you day?
Preface: So I have two stories but I will start with the lawnmower, but first Context, because we all love that in our OTs:
So I was doing some landscaping-no scratch that,- I was playing FF14: Heavensward version 3.4. My sisters two kids go just left with her so she can go to the bank and maybe feed them. The time was around 1500 pm, military time. I got off of ff14 because, partly it was because I shit rolls and no one was doing RavanaEx(I digress), but mostly because my boss* wanted me to cut the land and my brother wanted me to put his clothes in the dryer. Well I do my brothers thing and then get ready to cut the grass 15 minutes later. I put on my new shoes and head out back. I take the land mower he told me to use and the weed whacker. The weed whacker had no charge so I said screw it and left, it behind then I got to the area where my boss* tells me to cut and clear. Now let me tell about this lawnmower...
Its old Craftsman 550(registered Trademark of Craftsman tools, owned KCD IP, LLC
a Sears Holdings subsidiary) series Lawnmower that I couldn't find on my phone, nor quite frankly, would want to tell you: [The Room clip] Doggies aside (This will be relevant later in this OP if I don't go over the letter limit)
So I test the outdated lawnmower and try turning on this piece of shit machine. I make sure to prime it before hand and everything and guess what? It won't start. I check the gas levels and oils but it seems like its enough but I just call my boss* and ask him if he has the keys to open the shed to the gas canisters. He begrudgingly tells me that he doesn't have any and not to call him during his time of relaxation but just tells my to use the one located behind the green bin in the yard. I find it and just frustratingly shove the nozzle in, since my patience to get the job done is withering. I await for like 15 seconds for the tank to fill up. However, when I check to see if its full, there barely is anything more in the tank then when I first checked. I then I realize that
Since the gas can(it was more like a carton, like the ones use for of milk now I think about it) was pretty light when I first brought it along, I made an idiot decision of going, "Eh, this is fine right?" and I prime the lawnmower again.
It was then that I regretted ever being hired by my boss*
Not thinking properly if the machine was gonna bloody explode or not beforehand, I rev the engine. And guess what? IT TURNED ON. With a sense of relief, I start cutting the grass. I cut 2 rows before I have turn off the machine. Someone planted an Agave plant right on the path where I was cutting. Not even in the designated spots by the cherry tree where the flora and local fauna are not to be disturbed with a shitty lawnmower, weed wacker, or young kids who like to climb things. I was not told anything my dad so I turn it off and take a pic for when he comes back from his leisure time. I take a pic but right after I notice ants just crawling around it.
[I will now take this time to talk about my childhood and ants, if you are still reading this OP](also hears a good song to listen to while reading this part)
I don't know a lot about ants or agave plants, not that I ever claim to, but I freaked out a little. My earliest encounter with fire ants, or what I believe to be fire ants since they sting like a motherfucker, was when I was 8 or 10 in Mexico. I was a young naive boy who like to play Futboll(soccer) with my friend across the field from where corn was being growing. It was the day after a huge thunderstorm and it was rare to see the sun out right after a ton of rain, so we got our ball and headed to field which was kinda wet still. We play and I toss my flannel by an old stump. After we finish, he tells me to race him home and I get my shirt and we decide to take the path by the cornfield. About halfway there, I start buttoning up my shirt right until I get stung by something. I pick my back and its a reddish little ant. Quickly, I stop buttoning my shirt and take it off, still holding it. Then my friend does a Them! point and tells me I have horde of fire ants across the back my my flannel. I then fall back and quickly try to get rid of the shirt. I toss it to the corn but then my friend (still pointing) tells me I have ants on my back i quickly throw my self to the ground and try shaking them off with my hands. I get a few more stings before I decide to run home to my Grandma's ranch, yelling " Mommy!" the whole way home. So yeah, that concludes [NCR's first dramatic encounter with ants and you can turn off the bloodborne song now]
Thinking the plant might be where the queen is located since my intuition tells me: if carpenters ants are around (plant) that must be where its base (the queen's hive) located!, I call my dad to ask him where the shovel is. He ignores my call, to my dismay. So instead i just went with my original plan of cutting grass with the ancient lawnmower. This where my second huge lawnmower mistake came in.
IT WON'T START. I then reach 100% frustration levels and start getting desperate. I see an elderly man, who I recognize as my neighbor that likes dogs and walks them every morning, pass by. Sighing and putting on my worst smile, I say "You wouldn't happen to have some gas I could burrow?" He the responds with a stern "No", and quickly goes about his way. A few moments later when I'm pondering what to do next, he comes back and says that he might have some gas he could spare. Hallelujah! I waited since I forgot to charge my phone and didn't want to waste the battery with unnecessary calls or waste data, so I sat looking glum. I hear water sounds and see the man bringing a yellow can of gas to me. I tell him I could put gas into the tank myself, but is persistent in saying "I got this." I'll cut a few parts of what happened next in sequence
I reach my dad who has my Charlie(that's what I like to call my) dog, well its actually not my dog but my brother is never around to walk it or feed it so I like to think it's mine. I just some him the lawnmower that pull the lever once, to show him that it won't start and I can't work. He gives me the coldest stare and says "Hold my Pitbull." I try to quickly let go of the revving rope and try to hold back my dog. This is entire time I think
Before I could properly secure my dog since I was fiddling with the leash like a nervous little bitch ass nerd that I am, he revs up the lawnmower. At that time all I think is
Preface: So I have two stories but I will start with the lawnmower, but first Context, because we all love that in our OTs:
So I was doing some landscaping-no scratch that,- I was playing FF14: Heavensward version 3.4. My sisters two kids go just left with her so she can go to the bank and maybe feed them. The time was around 1500 pm, military time. I got off of ff14 because, partly it was because I shit rolls and no one was doing RavanaEx(I digress), but mostly because my boss* wanted me to cut the land and my brother wanted me to put his clothes in the dryer. Well I do my brothers thing and then get ready to cut the grass 15 minutes later. I put on my new shoes and head out back. I take the land mower he told me to use and the weed whacker. The weed whacker had no charge so I said screw it and left, it behind then I got to the area where my boss* tells me to cut and clear. Now let me tell about this lawnmower...
Its old Craftsman 550(registered Trademark of Craftsman tools, owned KCD IP, LLC
a Sears Holdings subsidiary) series Lawnmower that I couldn't find on my phone, nor quite frankly, would want to tell you: [The Room clip] Doggies aside (This will be relevant later in this OP if I don't go over the letter limit)
So I test the outdated lawnmower and try turning on this piece of shit machine. I make sure to prime it before hand and everything and guess what? It won't start. I check the gas levels and oils but it seems like its enough but I just call my boss* and ask him if he has the keys to open the shed to the gas canisters. He begrudgingly tells me that he doesn't have any and not to call him during his time of relaxation but just tells my to use the one located behind the green bin in the yard. I find it and just frustratingly shove the nozzle in, since my patience to get the job done is withering. I await for like 15 seconds for the tank to fill up. However, when I check to see if its full, there barely is anything more in the tank then when I first checked. I then I realize that
- the gas can is empty
- and that I put gas where the oil should be.
The smart thing to do was just leave and never come back to the lawnmower but I am not that kind of person who just gives up, I gave up on my college math test and was rewarded with no financial aid, so i must have been arrogant for what I did next.
My frustration level were about 90% when I found out.
Since the gas can(it was more like a carton, like the ones use for of milk now I think about it) was pretty light when I first brought it along, I made an idiot decision of going, "Eh, this is fine right?" and I prime the lawnmower again.
It was then that I regretted ever being hired by my boss*
spoilers, my dad is my boss and vice versa.
Not thinking properly if the machine was gonna bloody explode or not beforehand, I rev the engine. And guess what? IT TURNED ON. With a sense of relief, I start cutting the grass. I cut 2 rows before I have turn off the machine. Someone planted an Agave plant right on the path where I was cutting. Not even in the designated spots by the cherry tree where the flora and local fauna are not to be disturbed with a shitty lawnmower, weed wacker, or young kids who like to climb things. I was not told anything my dad so I turn it off and take a pic for when he comes back from his leisure time. I take a pic but right after I notice ants just crawling around it.
[I will now take this time to talk about my childhood and ants, if you are still reading this OP](also hears a good song to listen to while reading this part)
I don't know a lot about ants or agave plants, not that I ever claim to, but I freaked out a little. My earliest encounter with fire ants, or what I believe to be fire ants since they sting like a motherfucker, was when I was 8 or 10 in Mexico. I was a young naive boy who like to play Futboll(soccer) with my friend across the field from where corn was being growing. It was the day after a huge thunderstorm and it was rare to see the sun out right after a ton of rain, so we got our ball and headed to field which was kinda wet still. We play and I toss my flannel by an old stump. After we finish, he tells me to race him home and I get my shirt and we decide to take the path by the cornfield. About halfway there, I start buttoning up my shirt right until I get stung by something. I pick my back and its a reddish little ant. Quickly, I stop buttoning my shirt and take it off, still holding it. Then my friend does a Them! point and tells me I have horde of fire ants across the back my my flannel. I then fall back and quickly try to get rid of the shirt. I toss it to the corn but then my friend (still pointing) tells me I have ants on my back i quickly throw my self to the ground and try shaking them off with my hands. I get a few more stings before I decide to run home to my Grandma's ranch, yelling " Mommy!" the whole way home. So yeah, that concludes [NCR's first dramatic encounter with ants and you can turn off the bloodborne song now]
Thinking the plant might be where the queen is located since my intuition tells me: if carpenters ants are around (plant) that must be where its base (the queen's hive) located!, I call my dad to ask him where the shovel is. He ignores my call, to my dismay. So instead i just went with my original plan of cutting grass with the ancient lawnmower. This where my second huge lawnmower mistake came in.
Im too lazy to find another gif so I'll reuse this one.
IT WON'T START. I then reach 100% frustration levels and start getting desperate. I see an elderly man, who I recognize as my neighbor that likes dogs and walks them every morning, pass by. Sighing and putting on my worst smile, I say "You wouldn't happen to have some gas I could burrow?" He the responds with a stern "No", and quickly goes about his way. A few moments later when I'm pondering what to do next, he comes back and says that he might have some gas he could spare. Hallelujah! I waited since I forgot to charge my phone and didn't want to waste the battery with unnecessary calls or waste data, so I sat looking glum. I hear water sounds and see the man bringing a yellow can of gas to me. I tell him I could put gas into the tank myself, but is persistent in saying "I got this." I'll cut a few parts of what happened next in sequence
- the man puts in gas and leaves
- the machine works
- i cut a few more lanes of grass before
- its starts puffing smoke because
- i didnt even think to replace the oil
- and fuck my life.
I reach my dad who has my Charlie(that's what I like to call my) dog, well its actually not my dog but my brother is never around to walk it or feed it so I like to think it's mine. I just some him the lawnmower that pull the lever once, to show him that it won't start and I can't work. He gives me the coldest stare and says "Hold my Pitbull." I try to quickly let go of the revving rope and try to hold back my dog. This is entire time I think
Before I could properly secure my dog since I was fiddling with the leash like a nervous little bitch ass nerd that I am, he revs up the lawnmower. At that time all I think is
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/11/I-made-a-huge-mistake-Mistake-The-Mistake-I-have-made-a-mistake-GIF.gif?gs=a/IMGFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU][/QUOTE]
The engine roars to life and that in turns spooks my dog who doesn't like loud noises[SPOILER]sirens make him aROO and vacuums make him tuck his tail but this has never happened before[/SPOILER] Since, I didnt bring my gloves or shoes, (I had me chanclas on) my dog then then proceeds to give me the following affliction
[LIST=1]
[*]A gash in my foot from his back claw.
[*]A LIGHT bite on my hand.
[/LIST]
So yeah that was my form like 1300 to 1800, 4 hours more less. Afterwards, I headed home to treat my wounds since i was kinda bloody and muddy. I put some gauss and tape and just go straight to this computer I am typing this on. It's been 2 hours, and I am just now wrapping this story up. So I ask you, gaf, how was you day?
Mine has been this
[QUOTE][URL="[QUOTE][IMG]http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/11/I-made-a-huge-mistake-Mistake-The-Mistake-I-have-made-a-mistake-GIF.gif?gs=a"][/URL]From the pass 6 hours when I logged off to me right now
