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[Kobun Heat]

Oh Micro how I love thy slender frame
And faceplate changeable atop your form
The sexy lowercase font of your name
And cartridge slot that keeps fair Twisted warm.

Your small display's protective window pane
Shall catch the mucous should I ever sneeze
My love for your D-pad shall never wane
It's better than the fucking PSP's.

Not double-paned delight nor touching screen
Will mar your simple elegance and dress.
Not quite so happy have I ever been
That Ouendan has broken my DS.

A hundred dollars must we now resign
To buy another hardware redesign.

 

[Varian]

Fine work! But how many syllables is Ouendan?

 

[Kobun Heat]

In Japanese, six. In English, three.

 

[sprsk]

8.

3

 

[Varian]

8.

That's not even right for a letter count. How could a word with seven letters have eight syllables?

 

[sprsk]

fuck i dont know

 

[Kobun Heat]

Probably something to do with 'dipthongs,' whatever those are.

Let's not fight.

 

[Varian]

Kobun, if we all agree change it to Ou-en-dan. Without accents, right?

Let's move on to finer points of analysis.

 

[Kobun Heat]

Kobun, if we all agree change it to Ou-en-dan. Without accents, right?

This isn't poetry-by-committee. Write your own.

 

[Varian]

Sorry. Just suggestions. You should also change the end couplet to: "Samus went into some distress / I put my balls on my DS."

 

[Kobun Heat]

You should also change the end couplet to: "Samus went into some distress / I put my balls on my DS."

That's not even iambic pentameter, n00b.

 

[Varian]

That's not even iambic pentameter, n00b.

Neither is this, bucko:

A hun'dred dol'lars must we now' resign'
To buy' anoth'er hard'ware' re'design'.

 

[Kobun Heat]

Neither is this, bucko:

Sure it is.

 

[Matlock]

An old game machine
Neckbeard Keanu wants one
A hundred, no thanks

 

[Varian]

Matlock, if we are to believe Kobun you can replace "Keanu" with "Ouendan".

Sure it is.

WTF? You've got a dactyl there in the one line and a spondee in the second. That's pentameter alright, but not iambic.

EDIT: Even still, your last line is unacceptable. You can't have three accents in a row like that.

 

[Yusaku]

Oh micro, you're too fucking expensive.
The End.

 

[Matlock]

WTF? You've got a dactyl there in the one line and a spondee in the second. That's pentameter alright, but not iambic.

Matlock, if we are to believe Kobun you can replace "Keanu" with "Ouendan".

O-wayn-dan = 3 syllables

 

[Kobun Heat]

WTF? You've got a dactyl there in the one line and a spondee in the second. That's pentameter alright, but not iambic.

Meh. You can vary it up a little. If the iamb is the most common foot, then it qualifies.

 

[Varian]

For Kobun
'Il miglior fabbro'

Metroid Prime: Hunters--Happy night it was!
Samus, in her phazon suit, was a-glean;
Her aim was perfect with no graphic flaws,
Though swinging were my balls on second-screen:

 

[xsarien]

Neither is this, bucko:

To dwell on such things
ON A GAMING MESSAGE BOARD
is terribly anal

 

[Kobun Heat]

To dwell on such things
ON A GAMING MESSAGE BOARD
is terribly anal

OMG THAT NEEDS A SEASONAL REFERENCE OR IT'S NOT REALLY HAIKU YOU KNOW

 

[Matlock]

OMG THAT NEEDS A SEASONAL REFERENCE OR IT'S NOT REALLY HAIKU YOU KNOW

fall fall fall fall fall
fall fall fall fall fall fall fall
fall fall fall fall fall

 

[Kobun Heat]

fall fall fall fall fall
fall fall fall fall fall fall fall
fall fall fall fall fall

Actually, I was being flippant. Haiku should also contain a reference to the ethereal nature of earthly things; fleeting, transcient beauty; evanescence. Thus, the following would be acceptable

fall fall fall fall fall
fall fall fall fall fall fall fall
wake me up inside

 

[Fix]

The Timesplitters Sonnets

 

[Scrow]

*slowly backs out of thread*

 

[Varian]

To dwell on such things
ON A GAMING MESSAGE BOARD
is terribly anal

The Timesplitters Sonnets

The trouble is you probably think this is just as good as mine or Kobun's, when there are too many inversions and feminine rhymes in there to put it in contention.

 

[Fix]

Sorry, did you write one too? I missed it.

 

[Ferny84]

"By Bon Clay"

<orchestrated music begins>

 

[Varian]

Sorry, did you write one too? I missed it.

Keep up. I wrote a heroic couplet and a quatrain about putting my balls on the touch-screen.

 

[Fix]

Right. So no sonnets then. How about you be the one to keep up this time?

 

[DDayton]

This seems as good a time as any to slap this up on GAF...

Metroid Prime
long and dark passage
the golden hunter shooting
mind and eyes rejoice

 

[TheGamingGuru]

OMG..i cant believe Nintendo is still milking the GB. Its time to move on Nintendo11!

 

[Kobun Heat]

OMG..i cant believe Nintendo is still milking the GB. Its time to move on Nintendo11!

Had to be my thread, huh?

 

[MASB]

Hmm. Could this thread be a precursor to a future book? "2-UP: The Japanese Gaming Industry Through Verse" by Chris Kohler.

 

[GhaleonEB]

Finally, a new meaning of 'bad art' on this board.

j/k

 

[Thomper]

Hmm. Could this thread be a precursor to a future book? "2-UP: The Japanese Gaming Industry Through Verse" by Chris Kohler.

Or perhaps: 1Up: The Opera, with a transcript appearing in 2-Up.

 

[DDayton]

Hmm. Could this thread be a precursor to a future book? "2-UP: The Japanese Gaming Industry Through Verse" by Chris Kohler.

Not if I can get to the publisher first!

 

[Scrow]

*is still backing out of thread*