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[Dilbert]

The neighbors in the next building over are having noisy sex...again. Usually when they go at it, it's 1 AM or later on a Friday or Saturday night, but occasionally they will mix in a Sunday morning session like they are now. When it starts, though, I know I'm in for an hour of moaning, slapping, yelling, etc.

So what's the appropriate protocol for handling those kinds of situations? Yell encouragement out the window to them? Ask for tips? Ask if they have videotapes for sale? Call up my GF and arrange a competition? Use the sounds to record a new and very funny answering machine message?

 

[pestul]

FHUTA.

 

[videogamer]

Try to notify the police, but when you do, they take your name and address. :/

 

[Litigation Manuel]

The last one! The last one! Then call them when they're not there, asking them to return your call, then hope they get your answering machine. Hilarity will ensue!

 

[ElyrionX]

Call up my GF and arrange a competition?

I approve of this.

 

[Escape Goat]

Do what Michael J Fox did in Secret to my Success and turn it into a symphony.

 

[Matlock]

FHUTA.

I'm Matlock, and I approve of this message.

 

[pestul]

 

[xsarien]

Do what Michael J Fox did in Secret to my Success and turn it into a symphony.

I second this...

Also, one up them. Invite your girlfriend over, do your thing, but mix odd noises into it with a CD or something. Like, I dunno, power tools, and the mating calls of animals only found in the deepest reaches of Africa.

 

[Loki]

Ask if they have videotapes for sale?

Go one better: hide outside the window (feel free to uproot some nearby shrubbery and bring it along so as to conceal your presence) and videotape the entire session. Upload it to a server, and link to it right here for $1.00 per viewing. You kill a couple of birds with this stone: you gain GAF cred (i.e., "OMG, -jinx- +10000 d0od!!!1"; "-jinx-: a kinder, gentler, more aberrant mod" etc.), and you'll pocket a handsome sum to toss into the "Acura TL Fund"® (~5000 members, so you figure roughly 4,993 lonely gamers at $1 a pop-- it adds up).


The only drawback (assuming your neighbors-- the female, at least-- are relatively attractive) is that you'll be left with "nowhere to go" wood-- that's when you call the missus. It's a win for everyone! ('cept your neighbors, obviously, but who's gonna tell them? Quick! Somebody bind and gag Olimario! ). FINARU VICTOLY!!!


Barring this, go with the new answering machine message. But then be sure to befriend the neighbors and have them call you one day to hang out with you and your GF. It'd be a priceless reaction when they hear the message. :lol

 

[Jim Bowie]

Wait until THEY go to sleep, and then do a wailing guitar solo with all the speakers pointed in their direction.

Or! Or! Go next door, and knock on their door during their sex. Then, run inside your door. Keep it up until they lose the mood.

 

[NohWun]

Just record the audio, then play it back to them once they've gone to sleep.

 

[Ecrofirt]

^ works.

Also, maybe just put a note in their mailbox.

 

[Doth Togo]

Tape it, put it on GAF for everyone to enjoy.

Voyeurism is best when you put it to the test.

 

[gblues]

Hmm.. I have an idea but I don't know how feasible it is.

What you'd need to find out:

- Does she wake up to an alarm or to the radio?
- If yes, what station does she wake up to? What time does it go off?
- Is this a high-wattage station, or is it fairly weak?
- How close proximity do you have to her apt?

What I would do, if I had the right equipment, is put together a special 10-15 minute mix tape and set up a pirate radio broadcast that would start 1 minute before her alarm goes off. Then instead of whatever music she usually wakes up to, she gets to wake up to herself being screwed.

Failing that, make the answering machine message but get it onto HER answering machine instead of yours.

Nathan