I'm 19 and kind of getting involved with a 29-year-old. I personally don't see a problem, but what's the general perception? I'm not talking about a one-off screw or anything, I mean long-term. I've had bugger all experience (two girlfriends in high school); any thoughts are welcome.
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Age differences in relationships
- Thread starter snaildog
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Warm Machine
Member
I've had 1 friend who was 21 marry a 42 year old with a 14 year old child. That didn't last long and she took him for everything he had.
I currently have a really good friend who is 32 and is living with a 41 year old. The two of them are really happy. Thing is he'll never have his own child with her and probably never marry her just because she has been there done that already.
When I was 27 I dated a 33 year old. I really liked her and still think about her from time to time. She wasn't the one for me but was great while it lasted, which was only about 2 months.
The age difference means nothing in private when the two of you are going to be together. It changes the moment you leave the house and are in public. Things you do that you are new to will probably seem young to her and not mature enough...that is of course depending on her mindset and how cool she is.
I currently have a really good friend who is 32 and is living with a 41 year old. The two of them are really happy. Thing is he'll never have his own child with her and probably never marry her just because she has been there done that already.
When I was 27 I dated a 33 year old. I really liked her and still think about her from time to time. She wasn't the one for me but was great while it lasted, which was only about 2 months.
The age difference means nothing in private when the two of you are going to be together. It changes the moment you leave the house and are in public. Things you do that you are new to will probably seem young to her and not mature enough...that is of course depending on her mindset and how cool she is.
Black Deatha
Member
I think it all comes down to personal prefrence, while I am still trying to get a g/f right now, I have this thing where I perfer girls my age or slightly younger, and being 19, thta doesnt leave me a lot of room for any major ago difference. Point is I personaly want to be the older one in the relationship. Anyone else feel this way?
And if you like this girl man, and your comfortable with it, than who cares what others think man.
~Black Deatha
And if you like this girl man, and your comfortable with it, than who cares what others think man.
~Black Deatha
Mike Works
Member
Yep, I see zero potential problems in a long term relationship between a 19 and 29 year old. You should just close this thread.
Meh, age ain't nuthin' but a number.
That's not saying "hey 21 year olds, go hit that 14 year old ass." That's saying people get way too worked about about shit. Be happy, that's the most important thing.
My significant other is 5 months older than I am. But it's not something you really realize, you know?
That's not saying "hey 21 year olds, go hit that 14 year old ass." That's saying people get way too worked about about shit. Be happy, that's the most important thing.
My significant other is 5 months older than I am. But it's not something you really realize, you know?
AlphaSnake
...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
19 and 29? Haha, my best friend was tapping a 32 year old MILF! Yes, a MILF; she had a 2 year old boy. She was a fucking psycho and we all finally managed to make him realize how fucked up the relationship was for him and for everyone else around him. It ain't gonna' last long, pal.
D
Deleted member 1235
Unconfirmed Member
when you are 39, she will be 49.
Do I need to elaborate further?
Do I need to elaborate further?
You should probably tap it for all it's worth and then let it go; give it a month or two if you're really interested.... but more than likely you'll be able to see the seams that a relationship with someone 10 years older.... with much more experience and 'maturity' has as a natural matter of fact thing...
But on the off chance it works out... good for you. You'll probably be the caretaker and she'll be the provider; if you can live with that.
But on the off chance it works out... good for you. You'll probably be the caretaker and she'll be the provider; if you can live with that.
AlphaSnake
...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
siege said:
That's fucking disgusting!
FortNinety
Member
Older girls are less crazy. It's a fact!
Unless she's extremely introverted, she's got more experience than you in relationships, and she's definitely got more life experience. Don't expect more than to have a good time with her. i'd actually be wary of a LTR relationship with someone ten or more years older because they could very well fuck you over, and you wouldn't see it coming.
i dated a woman from one of my classes who was 33 when i was 22 (she looked closer to my age) and it became painfully obvious that we were at different stages. i was talking about getting a loft downtown and she was looking at getting a house in the suburbs. i was talking about clubbing and she wanted to go salsa dancing. Basically, the light conversation we made in class about common interests was blown away by the harsh reality that she had been there and done that. And i didn't hit it, though she didn't seem like that type of woman.
i dated a woman from one of my classes who was 33 when i was 22 (she looked closer to my age) and it became painfully obvious that we were at different stages. i was talking about getting a loft downtown and she was looking at getting a house in the suburbs. i was talking about clubbing and she wanted to go salsa dancing. Basically, the light conversation we made in class about common interests was blown away by the harsh reality that she had been there and done that. And i didn't hit it, though she didn't seem like that type of woman.
ConfusingJazz
Member
Last year, I was seeing this girl that was 28 and I was 19. I couldn't get past the first two dates though, it was starting to freak me out. I wasn't over 21, we were both at different stages of our lives, etc. I just got to thinking that she is around the age where she was looking for permancy, and I really wasn't. She was cute, but red alerts were going off in my head and I couldn't keep going out with her.
Its just really annoying to hit on a girl in class, and find out she is a foriegn student, which usually tags on 2 or 3 years (don't ask me why this is, but it ALWAYS happens to me), then she tells me shes a grad student, christ. And it was the first time in a LONG time I had something going.
Its just really annoying to hit on a girl in class, and find out she is a foriegn student, which usually tags on 2 or 3 years (don't ask me why this is, but it ALWAYS happens to me), then she tells me shes a grad student, christ. And it was the first time in a LONG time I had something going.
Tell me about it. All of the women i was really interested in were at least five years older than me, and many of them were foreigners, although there were a few of the foreigners my own age i was interested in. Many of them were a lot more grounded, part of the reason i talked to them versus their ditzier their American counterparts.ConfusingJazz said:
snaildog said:
That depends. Describe in a few sentences what your relationship is like. What do you do together? How does she treat you and how do you treat her? What do you talk about? What's your common interests? Do you have any mutual plans?
And you are not related, are you?
The Shadow
Member
snaildog said:
How long have you been together?
She's actually staying in my hostel on campus. I'm one of the RAs, which makes it even more scandalous (pretty sure nobody from around here is on the forum!). She's Taiwanese and studied marketing in the past; since then she's been a radio presenter, worked for a TV company, been in an advertising agency, and is now persuing psychology and education.
Common interests? We're both very interested in people and behaviour and everything, and have had a lot of huge conversations just about people we know. We both love movies, walking, music, and she's going to start coming to the gym with me and my gymmate. Haven't tried her on gaming yet, but she's competitive, and I'm sure she'll be up for some Mario Party and Kart before long. She's very fun-loving and outgoing and funny, but also one of the nicest people I know; she spent two hours last night with a girl here who was in a state over breaking up with her boyfriend. Everyone in the hostel (80-something people) likes her. Oh and did I mention hot as hell.
We've only known each other five weeks. Couldn't say how long we have "been together", because it's just progressed naturally and steadily. I've never felt so comfortable around someone before - I usually run out of conversation with people, but we can just talk on and on.
Common interests? We're both very interested in people and behaviour and everything, and have had a lot of huge conversations just about people we know. We both love movies, walking, music, and she's going to start coming to the gym with me and my gymmate. Haven't tried her on gaming yet, but she's competitive, and I'm sure she'll be up for some Mario Party and Kart before long. She's very fun-loving and outgoing and funny, but also one of the nicest people I know; she spent two hours last night with a girl here who was in a state over breaking up with her boyfriend. Everyone in the hostel (80-something people) likes her. Oh and did I mention hot as hell.
We've only known each other five weeks. Couldn't say how long we have "been together", because it's just progressed naturally and steadily. I've never felt so comfortable around someone before - I usually run out of conversation with people, but we can just talk on and on.
The biggest problem isn't the age difference... its really the 'life' difference.
I hated people when they would say things like this a few years ago, but the older you get the more you realize its true.
No matter how 'mature acting' you are, or how more intelligent you are than the people around you.. at 19, you don't know shit. most people assume once they turn 18 they're magically adults.. this is a lie.
at 20 you still won't know shit, but you'll know a little more than you did last year, same for 21 only you'll be drunk for a good bit of it.
I'm 22 and I can tell the stupidity is starting to taper off, but It probably won't be totally gone for another year or two.
Depending on how fast you mature, most of it will be gone around 25. In my experience i've dated people that were around my age, never anyone younger and at the most I think it was a 5 year difference. The older relationship is going to be a lot of them telling you things you think you already know but in reality don't understand and you won't realize that for a few more years.
It's sort of a harsh and fucked up way of saying it, but it's true. Have fun, enjoy it while it lasts, there's always the possibility that it could work out and be something more, but chances are you won't be anywhere near real LTR possibilities for a few more years.
I hated people when they would say things like this a few years ago, but the older you get the more you realize its true.
No matter how 'mature acting' you are, or how more intelligent you are than the people around you.. at 19, you don't know shit. most people assume once they turn 18 they're magically adults.. this is a lie.
at 20 you still won't know shit, but you'll know a little more than you did last year, same for 21 only you'll be drunk for a good bit of it.
I'm 22 and I can tell the stupidity is starting to taper off, but It probably won't be totally gone for another year or two.
Depending on how fast you mature, most of it will be gone around 25. In my experience i've dated people that were around my age, never anyone younger and at the most I think it was a 5 year difference. The older relationship is going to be a lot of them telling you things you think you already know but in reality don't understand and you won't realize that for a few more years.
It's sort of a harsh and fucked up way of saying it, but it's true. Have fun, enjoy it while it lasts, there's always the possibility that it could work out and be something more, but chances are you won't be anywhere near real LTR possibilities for a few more years.
Uno Ill Nino
Banned
I'm 24 and I'm seeing a 31 yr. old woman. We've been together about a year and a half now and I guess things have gotten pretty serious. We're talking about living together real soon (I'm over there more than at my own home anyway) and her family seems to really like me. She is from Malaysia and her family is visiting right now and I guess her mom keeps telling her that when she comes home for Chinese New Year she needs to bring me with. That must mean I've won over the folks, right?
Anyway, we are both very happy and very much in love. That said, our situation is quite different from that of a 19/29 couple. The big difference is that I'm old enough to drink and was old enough before I even met her. Most people go through a phase when they hit legal drinking age where they do a lot of growing. Some people even do it before they can drink and skip that bar scene entirely, but either way you have much to learn about the world and for the next 2-3 years you may change a lot as a person. You may not change at all either. Its just different for everybody. I'd say the odds are stacked against the 19/29 thing working out, but YOU have to be the ultimate judge of that. Good luck.
Anyway, we are both very happy and very much in love. That said, our situation is quite different from that of a 19/29 couple. The big difference is that I'm old enough to drink and was old enough before I even met her. Most people go through a phase when they hit legal drinking age where they do a lot of growing. Some people even do it before they can drink and skip that bar scene entirely, but either way you have much to learn about the world and for the next 2-3 years you may change a lot as a person. You may not change at all either. Its just different for everybody. I'd say the odds are stacked against the 19/29 thing working out, but YOU have to be the ultimate judge of that. Good luck.
Sad to say, your relationship probably won't last. As pointed out by others, there is a VAST difference in maturity and experience between 19 and 29. Later in life -- say, 27 and 37 -- the age difference isn't as much of an issue, though it certainly would be if you were considering starting a family, for instance. But your "job" at 19 is to date lots of girls and figure out the best type for you. In 4-5 years, you're ready to meet the right girl and think about settling down, when you're done with college and getting started on a your career. For now, though, have fun and enjoy her company for as long as it lasts.
One other point: For whatever reason, younger females tend to be slightly more mature (physically and emotionally) than younger males, so dating someone your own age or "dating down" a couple of years might be the most stable age pairing. (Obviously at 19, you don't have a lot of room in the "dating down" category if you want to stay out of jail...)
One other point: For whatever reason, younger females tend to be slightly more mature (physically and emotionally) than younger males, so dating someone your own age or "dating down" a couple of years might be the most stable age pairing. (Obviously at 19, you don't have a lot of room in the "dating down" category if you want to stay out of jail...)
Jill Sandwich
the turds of Optimus Prime
Im 28 and my lady is 20, we get on very well and age just isn't an issue between us or those around us. I say if you love and respect each other, the number problem just doesn't exist.
Saint Cornelius
Banned
I'm 31 & my wife is 38. I really don't like younger women. Talking about TRL doesn't interest me.
Jill Sandwich
the turds of Optimus Prime
And that solves the mystery of the missing ring!
Date of Lies
Banned
Older women are more mature and experienced.
Younger women are such a pain.
My girlfriend is 2 weeks younger than me and she can be such a cunt sometimes.
Younger women are such a pain.
My girlfriend is 2 weeks younger than me and she can be such a cunt sometimes.
AlphaSnake
...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
To all of the guys who are talking about their younger significant others...umm, it's pretty fucking normal for a guy to be older than the woman. It's abnormal for a woman to be 10 years older than a guy (by society's standards), which is the topic at hand. Also, a 4 or 5 year difference isn't a big deal either.
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