Support NeoGAF

[NecrosaroIII]

My mom is pissed at my now. I was texting her this morning. I'll copy and paste the texts.

Mom: "you know what is fucked up. my leg is really bothering me and very hard to walk. needed to do laundry and your sister did not even offer to help but she offered to help a friend that broke her wrist to help bake a cake for her son birthday. now i know we can not depend on her when we need her."

Me: "I dunno. Can't get mad at someone for not offering. You should ask directly and then get mad if she says no"

Mom: "should not have to ask. her friend did not ask for help she offered"

Me: " I'm gonna say something and I don't want you to get mad. That's a Karen attitude."

Mom: "should not have to ask when i made a comment about my laundry."

Me: "Sorry mom but gonna have to disagree in this one. That is both passive aggressive and indirect. People can't read your mind. You should always be direct with what you say. If you want something then say it. It's too hard otherwise"

She stopped responding after that. It's probably gonna be a bit before I hear from her.

 

[HellforLeather]

Not sure what the point of dropping the Karen comment was. Im sure that did more harm than good.

 

[GobbledeeGoo]

A Karen attitude. Oh man what a chuckle. How's your foot taste.

 

[The Pleasure]

You know who else acts like a karen?

 

[TyphoonStruggle]

All 3 of you sound terrible tbh.

1. Your sister should help your mom like she previously helped her friend.

2. Your mom should explicitly ask for help. It’s called communication.

3. You called your mom a Karen. Wtf.

 

[#Phonepunk#]

lol you sound like an entitled prick tbh. "That's a Karen attitude" LOL if you are living in her house you better count your blessings that she puts up with your bullshit

 

[NecrosaroIII]

lol you sound like an entitled prick tbh. "That's a Karen attitude" LOL if you are living in her house you better count your blessings that she puts up with your bullshit

I haven't lived in her house for 10 years. She lives 2000 miles away

 

[#Phonepunk#]

then all the more reason to not be shitty to your mom

 

[GobbledeeGoo]

I haven't lived in her house for 10 years. She lives 2000 miles away

How is it a Karen attitude. What does that even mean. Your mom should have asked her for help and your sister should have offered. It's always nice when someone offers help but sometimes there's just a disconnect and even though they don't realize to offer help, they'd be more than willing to if asked.

 

[Nester99]

Your right,

However don’t call your mother a “Karen” unless you Are willing to call her what it really means “dumb entitled bitch”

 

[NecrosaroIII]

GobbledeeGoo Because she's acting like a middle-aged entitled white woman, i.e. the epitome of a Karen. She expects people to do things for her, without even asking. My sister doesn't live with my mom either. Somehow my mom expects my sister to just know to come over and do her laundry for her. And so that's why I called out my mom. She has a habit of acting like this. She needs to be more direct with what she wants.

 

[All Hail C-Webb]

Your mom is in pain and reached out for comfort. You could have sided with your sister in a nicer way.

 

[StormCell]

Meh. I see nothing here that should really piss anyone off. Small potatoes.

1. Your mom needs to recognize that her unspoken expectations are going to be prone to let down. She needs to speak up.

2. A friend's son's birthday is a bigger deal than some laundry. Her friend must have been fretting over not having a cake, so it makes sense. Plus, it's natural for us to want to spend time with friends. We don't see them as much as we've already seen family.

3. You gave your mom some honest critiques to think about. If her feelings are hurt over not getting help, it might be her own fault for taking it so personally when she never spoke up to begin with. That's what's great about love: ask... and it will be given or done. But you have to ask sometimes.

 

[Mossybrew]

I dunno, I thought Karens were pretty direct and outspoken with what they want. I think you misused that meme, which probably upset and disappointed your mom.

 

[Grinchy]

It's a typical woman thing to just expect you to read their minds. Somehow everyone is supposed to know that her leg is bothering her and to offer to help her with everything even if she never communicated anything about it whatsoever.

And if you haven't read her mind yet, it's because you're the asshole. And don't bring up the fact that you aren't psychic. They aren't looking for a logical debate. You're just supposed to bow down and accept your thrashing. This is another reason why you should never get married.

 

[King of Foxes]

i didnt read the op but the answer is yes.

family always comes first

 

[NecrosaroIII]

And don't bring up the fact that you aren't psychic. They aren't looking for a logical debate. You're just supposed to bow down and accept your thrashing. This is another reason why you should never get married.

Fucking too late there.

 

[Keihart]

You are not wrong OP, but calling your mom a Karen didn't help in that conversation.
That Karen comment basically it's why she probably stopped texting, made the rest of the conversation loaded with condescension.

 

[Schattenjäger]

All 3 of you sound terrible tbh.

1. Your sister should help your mom like she previously helped her friend.

2. Your mom should explicitly ask for help. It’s called communication.

3. You called your mom a Karen. Wtf.

/thread

 

[Riven326]

My mom is pissed at my now. I was texting her this morning. I'll copy and paste the texts.

Mom: "you know what is fucked up. my leg is really bothering me and very hard to walk. needed to do laundry and your sister did not even offer to help but she offered to help a friend that broke her wrist to help bake a cake for her son birthday. now i know we can not depend on her when we need her."

Me: "I dunno. Can't get mad at someone for not offering. You should ask directly and then get mad if she says no"

Mom: "should not have to ask. her friend did not ask for help she offered"

Me: " I'm gonna say something and I don't want you to get mad. That's a Karen attitude."

Mom: "should not have to ask when i made a comment about my laundry."

Me: "Sorry mom but gonna have to disagree in this one. That is both passive aggressive and indirect. People can't read your mind. You should always be direct with what you say. If you want something then say it. It's too hard otherwise"

She stopped responding after that. It's probably gonna be a bit before I hear from her.

Jesus, man. Why didn't you just say yeah, I know? Just agree until she stops complaining. If your sister gets mad, tell her you were just agreeing to get her to shut up. I'm sure she'd understand.

 

[YukiOnna]

Yeah, no matter how right you may be nor how far you live apart, you don't call your mom a "Karen" and I'd rather hear her out, let her calm down and agree with her than argue back and end up being a dick like you. I understand where she's coming from regarding your sister though.

 

[Tesseract]

if you want help, you have to ask

 

[Amory]

The Karen line is already cringey as shit

The rest is fine I guess. When my mom gets pissed I just go yeah you're right. It's a better strategy I find.

 

[FreedomOfSpeech]

now i know we can not depend on her when we need her

What kind of mother says this about her own kid? Is she trying to create a rift? (Maybe there already is one).

 

[Tesseract]

the goof troops who get mad at preconceived slights are lost causes

 

[GymWolf]

did you really used the karen's line?

but yeah your mother should ask help to your sister before getting mad.

 

[AlteredForms]

I would understand her frustration had the family been living under one roof as word travels fast and everybody should pick up the slack to make things easier for eachother. What's surprising is that OP hasn't offered to handle the situation himself and instead chose to rationalize in a time where action is needed without question.

 

[Tesseract]

my experience with these types, relitigating the past like this, there's nothing they won't use against you

say no to psychic vampirism

 

[RokkanStoned]

A pretty common female thing (in my experience) is the expectation that you read their mind and take the things they say or some look or just how things look as hints that you should ask them or that you should do something. I don't know why, whether it's just that women have a different means of communicating or if it's something that's only prevalent in certain personality types that are overrepresented amongst women. My wife is like this and it bothers her so much that I just don't "get it" or that I don't automatically go like a yes man and say "yes, honey, you're totally right" in most situations.
Some women just don't get that you have to ask directly.
EDIT: My theory is that women have evolved to be socially more developed and competent, thus trying to exercise a form of communication that just don't work for most men.

i didnt read the op but the answer is yes.

family always comes first

It's family vs family. So there's no win in that respect.

 

[Mihos]

Are you your sisters manager?

 

[ScarletSpider]

.

 

[StormCell]

the goof troops who get mad at preconceived slights are lost causes

Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

 

[YukiOnna]

Are you your sisters manager?

Everyone is if you live in Alabama.

 

[zeorhymer]

Dunno all the details. But if you are near enough, you should have offered to help. Also, you sound like an ass when she was venting her frustration. You going to tell your g/f to stop being a Karen because of bad days happening to her?

 

[Ememee]

I literally stopped reading at the “Karen” comment haha. Maybe it’s the Hispanic in me, but geez, the way some people speak to their parents.

Anyway, gonna guess the way some replied, nuanced and how several people in the story come off, is accurate.

 

[manfestival]

People really are using Karen as a bigger umbrella term than the actual original use of the term. Makes me cringe reading the use of "Karen" in the OP

Oh and to answer the question directly of the OP: You are the one that looks the worst in this case. All 3 are at fault but you take the cake.

 

[Super Mario]

I'm completely with the OP on this one. I'm sick and tired of these games with women. I have played them for years with girlfriends, my mother, everyone. I'm tired of "standing up" for them because somehow my presense dictates that I'm an automatic win for any dispute they have. Fuck that. I'm also sick of reading minds. Tell me what you want or forget about it.

The Karen comment. Was it necessary? No. Is it a big deal? Also no. There are way worse things that could have been said.

 

[DESTROYA]

Calling your MOM a Karen in any situation is wrong even if you think she is , you both sound a bit like assholes.
Maybe she was just having a bad day like we all do buy theres no need to disrespect her by calling her that.

 

[Cato]

If she acts like a Karen, then calling her out is a good way to try to correct her behavior.

You should write a chat agent to handle her text conversations.
It could just respond with "yeah, I agree", "you are right", "sis is a bad child and doesn't respect you", "I am so sorry for you"
to every text. Let it run for a while and see how long it takes until you mom catches on.

 

[It's Jeff]

Hell no. The expectation of mind reading is delusional and leads to passive aggressive behavior... it's black and white in the message she sent you.

You can't feed people's delusions. It's not healthy. You're not in the wrong here.

 

[Pagusas]

You are correct, but the way you talked to her is childish with that karen comment. I picture you being like "Ohhh got ya mom! hahahahaahah!" No need for that type of attitude when dealing with your parents, especially when she's obvious dealing with something.

We all are guilty of being passive aggressive or not saying what we need at times, and hoping others will figure it out. Its stupid, but its human. And I'm sure you are no exception OP.

 

[Rest]

Does your mom have Borderline Personality Disorder? It reads a bit like Borderline logic.

 

[TaySan]

Your mom needs to stop assuming the world revolves around her just because shes your mother. You and your sister are adults with their own independent lives and cant always be around at her every wim.

 

[MaestroMike]

My mama acts that way to like I shld be more considerate God is going to punish you u need to get ur own place and a woman. Lol pff moms

 

[Tesseract]

we're your family now

problem solved, re it up

 

[Night.Ninja]

Nothing wrong with putting your parents in place

 

[008]

My mom is pissed at my now. I was texting her this morning. I'll copy and paste the texts.

Mom: "you know what is fucked up. my leg is really bothering me and very hard to walk. needed to do laundry and your sister did not even offer to help but she offered to help a friend that broke her wrist to help bake a cake for her son birthday. now i know we can not depend on her when we need her."

Me: "I dunno. Can't get mad at someone for not offering. You should ask directly and then get mad if she says no"

Mom: "should not have to ask. her friend did not ask for help she offered"

Me: " I'm gonna say something and I don't want you to get mad. That's a Karen attitude."

Mom: "should not have to ask when i made a comment about my laundry."

Me: "Sorry mom but gonna have to disagree in this one. That is both passive aggressive and indirect. People can't read your mind. You should always be direct with what you say. If you want something then say it. It's too hard otherwise"

She stopped responding after that. It's probably gonna be a bit before I hear from her.

Quit sucking your moms tits. Put up boundaries

 

[Mossybrew]

Seriously tho, let's get to the bottom of this - mom's leg is "bothering her" to the point where she can't even fucking walk - something's wrong here, has she seen a doctor? Or is this one of those moms that always has various, mysterious ailments that she doesn't see a doctor to address, yet are bad enough that she often needs help with tasks various and sundry?

 

[The Pleasure]

i didnt read the op but the answer is yes.

family always comes first

Not in America. Money comes first. Where you been?

 

[mcjmetroid]

What's a Karen attitude? Hahs