I just got an e-mail from a friend who is a BIG Bush supporter (I personally think he's a moron, Bush that is) which had this message attached. No matter who you are, this kind of stupid, obvious propaganda should sicken you (at least Michael Moore's propaganda is hilarious).
> JOHN FORBES KERRY, "MAN OF THE PEOPLE"
>
>
> CAREER OBJECTIVE
>
> President of the United States, Renter of the Lincoln bedroom,
> Intern Supervisor, Commander and Chief and Defender of the Working
> Man, I mean Person
>
>
> EDUCATION
>
> Educated at Swiss Boarding Schools -- because my parents did not
> like me that much
>
> Attended elite private schools like Fessenden School in West
> Newton, Massachusetts and St. Paul's in New Hampshire -- just
> like your kids
>
> Graduated Yale University, 1966 (I am much smarter than that Bush
> guy -- oh, wait, he also went to Yale.)
>
> Graduated Boston College Law School in 1976 (I am much smarter
> than that Bush guy -- oh, wait, he got an MBA from Harvard.)
>
>
> VIETNAM MILITARY SERVICE
>
> Served as an officer on a swiftboat in the Mekong Delta in
> VIETNAM for three long months -- tried my best to come home a
> hero like JFK after his service on PT-109. I was in VIETNAM --
> VIETNAM was a place where I was for a while. Did I mention that
> VIETNAM veterans love me?
>
> I collected three Purple Hearts in my three months (had to get
> three in order to come home and run for Congress as a hero like
> JFK) and the last one for that scratch on my finger -- it REALLY
> did hurt! It was important to have the right connections so I
> could get home and run for Congress on my hero status like JFK --
> he was not in VIETNAM, but I was.
>
> Brought my own motion camera to make sure images of me in VIETNAM
> becoming a hero made it back home to the states. Got a free trip
> home after three months on my swiftboat where I suffered severe
> injuries and collected three Purple Hearts (did I mention that),
> a Bronze and Silver Star for heroism -- ensuring my destiny as
> a hero and man of the people like JFK.
>
> Got home and found out they were not bestowing hero status on
> war heroes like me, so I threw my medals, or was it my ribbons,
> over the White House fence. Maybe it was someone else's medals.
>
> Co-founder of the VIETNAM Veterans of America and spokesperson
> for the VIETNAM Veterans Against the War and worked closely with
> Jane Fonda to make sure everyone knew that all the guys in VIETNAM
> were war criminals -- I was too, and even testified before the
> Senate about my own war crimes.
>
> "Represented" my cadre of anti-American misfits in a Paris meeting
> to discuss how we could better provide "aid and comfort" for
> the North Vietnamese and to discuss the unconditional surrender
> of the U.S. In doing so, I knowingly, directly violated UCMJ
> Article 104 part 904, and U.S. Code 18 U.S.C. 953.
>
> Did I mention that this meeting, and my other anti-American
> activities, also put me in violation of the Constitution's Article
> three, Section three, which defines treason as "giving aid and
> comfort" to the enemy in time of warfare.
>
> Consequently, I stand subject to the Constitution's Fourteenth
> Amendment, Section 3, which states, "No person shall be a Senator
> or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and
> Vice-President...having previously taken an oath...to support
> the Constitution of the United States, [who has] engaged in
> insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or
> comfort to the enemies thereof."
>
> But I don't have to resign -- I am understudy to Teddy Kennedy,
> now the patriarch of JFK's family.
>
> I topped off my coddling of Commies by authoring a book called The
> New Soldier -- but since military heroes are back in vogue, I now
> sue anyone who reproduces the cover of that book on any website,
> especially a website like http://kerry-04.com/. (The cover picture
> is a mockery of the Iwo Jima flag raising -- you can see it at
> http://kerry-04.com/ until my lawyers get them to take it down.)
>
> NOTE: Please join fellow Patriots and sign the
> petition demanding John Kerry's resignation. Link to --
> http://www.PatriotPetitions.US/Kerry (If you don't have Web access,
> please send a blank e-mail to: <sign-Kerry@PatriotPetitions.US>
> Each e-mail sent to this address will be counted as one signature
> for the petition.)
>
>
> CONGRESSIONAL "SERVICE"
>
> Volunteered as a campaign worker for my mentor, Teddy Kennedy
> in 1962. I just love that big lug!
>
> My first campaign for Congress was in 1972 -- I was a war
> hero like JFK but nobody noticed so I ran on my anti-American
> platform. I won the primary with a little help from my campaign
> manager (brother Cameron) who broke into my opponents campaign
> headquarters. Unfortunately, because of that Watergate thing,
> I lost the general election to a Republican even after spending
> more than any other Congressional campaign in the nation.
>
> In 1982, with the help of Uncle Teddy, I got elected as lieutenant
> governor for governor Michael Dukakis -- then got elected to the
> Senate in 1984 -- it has been smooth sailing ever since.
>
> I have dedicated the last 20 years, between wives and vacation
> homes, promoting big government spending (except in defense and
> intelligence, which I vote against every chance I get), class
> warfare, the welfare state and general wealth redistribution, any
> kind of abortion on demand (without parental consent for minors),
> and obstructionist tactics in the judicial nominee process.
>
> According to Americans for Democratic [sic] Action, a far-left
> watchdog group, I have a higher lifetime liberal voting record
> at 93% than Ted Kennedy with 88%
>
> I am the ranking Democrat member of the Committee on Small Business
> and Entrepreneurship. My current millionaire wife is heiress of
> the Heinz Ketchup fortune -- a "small" business
>
> Ranking member of the Hispanic Task Force, even though I "borked"
> Miguel Estrada
>
> Chaired the Senate Democratic Leadership Steering and Coordination
> Committee
>
> In 1987, teemed up with Teddy to get an override of presidential
> veto of Boston's Big Dig Boondoggle -- one of the most larded
> distributions of taxpayer largess in U.S. history.
>
> In 1991 the Senate created the Select Senate Committee on POW/MIA
> Affairs to investigate the possibility that U.S. prisoners of
> war and soldiers designated missing in action were still alive
> in Vietnam. Acting as chairman, I helped persuade the group to
> vote unanimously that no American servicemen still remained in
> Vietnam. In doing so, I helped begin the process of normalizing
> U.S.-Vietnamese relations.
>
> Wealthiest senator ("man of the people"), with an estimated net
> worth of nearly $200 million (that's $800 million if you combine
> it with my current wife's assets)
>
>
> POLITICAL POSTURING AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
>
> ABORTION
>
> Voted to federally fund abortions
>
> Voted against parental consent for minors
>
> Voted against ban on Partial Birth Abortion (3 times)
>
> Voted against ban on sending money to UN population fund --
> the money was sent to pay for China's forced abortion and
> sterilization policy
>
> Have been warned by Catholic clergy that I will not be served
> communion due to my stance on this issue
>
> NARAL lifetime rating of 100%; National Right to Life
> Committee lifetime rating of 0%
>
>
> DEATH PENALTY
>
> Oppose federal and/or state death penalty (except for innocent
> unborn children -- see above)
>
> Voted against death penalty for terrorists
>
> Voted against death penalty for drug-related murders
>
>
> TAXES & ECONOMICS
>
> I like high taxes and want to raise them
>
> Voted against all three Bush tax cuts & want to repeal them
>
> Voted for 1993 Clinton tax hike (largest in history)
>
> Voted against major tax relief packages at least 10 times
>
> Support re-raising taxes on the wealthy to redistribute money
> for healthcare and education -- i.e., Socialism
>
> Claim I can stop outsourcing and create 10 million new jobs in
> four years, despite the fact that there are only about 8
> million unemployed people in the U.S.
>
> Want to raise the minimum wage, which will result in
> outsourcing and the loss of jobs Voted at least 5 times
> against balanced budget amendments
>
> Voted at least 5 times to raid the Social Security Trust Fund
>
> Believe Washington manages your money better than you could
>
> Lifetime rating of 26% from Citizens Against Government Waste
>
>
> MILITARY & NATIONAL SECURITY
>
> We don't need a military, per se
>
> Favor UN control of remaining U.S. Troops
>
> Voted for 7 major reductions in military funding
>
> Voted against Gulf War I (1991)
>
> Voted for Gulf War II -- but then criticized and voted against
> military appropriation for troops
>
> Voted against MX missile, Trident Submarine, SDI (Strategic
> Defense Initiative -- Star Wars), and the B-1 and B-2 Stealth
> Bomber/Fighter
>
> Supported slashing $2.6 billion from intelligence funding
> while serving as a member of Senate Intelligence Committee
>
> SECOND AMENDMENT
>
> Against
>
> Have earned a lifetime rating of 0% from the National Rifle
> Association
>
>
> FAITH & VALUES
>
> Against/Don't have any
>
> Voted Against Defense of Marriage Act
>
> Favor civil unions for homosexuals until marriage is popular
> enough to support
>
> Voted to extend hate crimes protections to homosexuals
>
> Voted against voluntary school prayer
>
> Voted against ban on human cloning and support embryonic
> stem-cell research
>
>
> EDUCATION
>
> Voted against voucher pilot program
>
> Voted against approving a school-choice pilot program
>
> Support racial profiling and preference for admission to
> universities, known as "affirmative action"
>
>
> JUDGES, COURTS & LAW
>
> Against racial profiling and preference when dealing with
> terrorism
>
> Voted against confirmation William Rehnquist as Chief Justice
> of the Supreme Court
>
> Voted against confirmation of Robert Bork and Clarence Thomas
> to the Supreme Court
>
> Only support activist judges who will support abortion,
> persecute Christians and rewrite the Constitution
>
> Voted against confirmation John Ashcroft as U.S. Attorney
> General
>
> Voted against punitive damage limits in products liability
> cases
>
> As Michael Dukakis' Lt. Governor from 1983-1985, supported
> granting prison furloughs to hundreds of Massachusetts inmates
>
>
> FOREIGN POLICY
>
> Against linking Most Favored Nation status to China's human
> rights record
>
> Voted for Kyoto Protocol on Environment that exempted major
> Third World polluters, while creating an unfair burden on
> American taxpayers
>
> Supported Iraq regime change as late as January 2003, but not
> anymore
>
> Support unilateral nuclear freeze
>
> Support submitting completely to the UN, as well as the
> International Criminal Court, taking all sovereignty away
> from the U.S. and its citizens
>
> Don't know what the Geneva Conventions say, mean or who
> they apply to
>
>
> OTHER QUALIFICATIONS
>
> Five multi-million dollar mansions
>
> A large multi-million dollar yacht
>
> Many "American" cars, including several gas-guzzling SUVs, which
> I am opposed to politically
>
> Personal 757 campaign jet
>
> Access to unlimited condiments -- did I mention my current
> millionaire wife is heiress to the Heinz fortune
>
> Have dual citizenship in France
>
>
> REFERENCES
>
> General Vo Nguyen Giap -- most celebrated military hero of NORTH
> VIETNAM, where I served
>
> "Hanoi Jane" Fonda
>
> Teddy Kennedy
>
> John F. Kennedy -- we have the same initials
>
> Howard Dean -- (Albert Gore by proxy)
>
> Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings
>
> "Foreign Leaders" who I am unable to name at this time
> JOHN FORBES KERRY, "MAN OF THE PEOPLE"
>
>
> CAREER OBJECTIVE
>
> President of the United States, Renter of the Lincoln bedroom,
> Intern Supervisor, Commander and Chief and Defender of the Working
> Man, I mean Person
>
>
> EDUCATION
>
> Educated at Swiss Boarding Schools -- because my parents did not
> like me that much
>
> Attended elite private schools like Fessenden School in West
> Newton, Massachusetts and St. Paul's in New Hampshire -- just
> like your kids
>
> Graduated Yale University, 1966 (I am much smarter than that Bush
> guy -- oh, wait, he also went to Yale.)
>
> Graduated Boston College Law School in 1976 (I am much smarter
> than that Bush guy -- oh, wait, he got an MBA from Harvard.)
>
>
> VIETNAM MILITARY SERVICE
>
> Served as an officer on a swiftboat in the Mekong Delta in
> VIETNAM for three long months -- tried my best to come home a
> hero like JFK after his service on PT-109. I was in VIETNAM --
> VIETNAM was a place where I was for a while. Did I mention that
> VIETNAM veterans love me?
>
> I collected three Purple Hearts in my three months (had to get
> three in order to come home and run for Congress as a hero like
> JFK) and the last one for that scratch on my finger -- it REALLY
> did hurt! It was important to have the right connections so I
> could get home and run for Congress on my hero status like JFK --
> he was not in VIETNAM, but I was.
>
> Brought my own motion camera to make sure images of me in VIETNAM
> becoming a hero made it back home to the states. Got a free trip
> home after three months on my swiftboat where I suffered severe
> injuries and collected three Purple Hearts (did I mention that),
> a Bronze and Silver Star for heroism -- ensuring my destiny as
> a hero and man of the people like JFK.
>
> Got home and found out they were not bestowing hero status on
> war heroes like me, so I threw my medals, or was it my ribbons,
> over the White House fence. Maybe it was someone else's medals.
>
> Co-founder of the VIETNAM Veterans of America and spokesperson
> for the VIETNAM Veterans Against the War and worked closely with
> Jane Fonda to make sure everyone knew that all the guys in VIETNAM
> were war criminals -- I was too, and even testified before the
> Senate about my own war crimes.
>
> "Represented" my cadre of anti-American misfits in a Paris meeting
> to discuss how we could better provide "aid and comfort" for
> the North Vietnamese and to discuss the unconditional surrender
> of the U.S. In doing so, I knowingly, directly violated UCMJ
> Article 104 part 904, and U.S. Code 18 U.S.C. 953.
>
> Did I mention that this meeting, and my other anti-American
> activities, also put me in violation of the Constitution's Article
> three, Section three, which defines treason as "giving aid and
> comfort" to the enemy in time of warfare.
>
> Consequently, I stand subject to the Constitution's Fourteenth
> Amendment, Section 3, which states, "No person shall be a Senator
> or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and
> Vice-President...having previously taken an oath...to support
> the Constitution of the United States, [who has] engaged in
> insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or
> comfort to the enemies thereof."
>
> But I don't have to resign -- I am understudy to Teddy Kennedy,
> now the patriarch of JFK's family.
>
> I topped off my coddling of Commies by authoring a book called The
> New Soldier -- but since military heroes are back in vogue, I now
> sue anyone who reproduces the cover of that book on any website,
> especially a website like http://kerry-04.com/. (The cover picture
> is a mockery of the Iwo Jima flag raising -- you can see it at
> http://kerry-04.com/ until my lawyers get them to take it down.)
>
> NOTE: Please join fellow Patriots and sign the
> petition demanding John Kerry's resignation. Link to --
> http://www.PatriotPetitions.US/Kerry (If you don't have Web access,
> please send a blank e-mail to: <sign-Kerry@PatriotPetitions.US>
> Each e-mail sent to this address will be counted as one signature
> for the petition.)
>
>
> CONGRESSIONAL "SERVICE"
>
> Volunteered as a campaign worker for my mentor, Teddy Kennedy
> in 1962. I just love that big lug!
>
> My first campaign for Congress was in 1972 -- I was a war
> hero like JFK but nobody noticed so I ran on my anti-American
> platform. I won the primary with a little help from my campaign
> manager (brother Cameron) who broke into my opponents campaign
> headquarters. Unfortunately, because of that Watergate thing,
> I lost the general election to a Republican even after spending
> more than any other Congressional campaign in the nation.
>
> In 1982, with the help of Uncle Teddy, I got elected as lieutenant
> governor for governor Michael Dukakis -- then got elected to the
> Senate in 1984 -- it has been smooth sailing ever since.
>
> I have dedicated the last 20 years, between wives and vacation
> homes, promoting big government spending (except in defense and
> intelligence, which I vote against every chance I get), class
> warfare, the welfare state and general wealth redistribution, any
> kind of abortion on demand (without parental consent for minors),
> and obstructionist tactics in the judicial nominee process.
>
> According to Americans for Democratic [sic] Action, a far-left
> watchdog group, I have a higher lifetime liberal voting record
> at 93% than Ted Kennedy with 88%
>
> I am the ranking Democrat member of the Committee on Small Business
> and Entrepreneurship. My current millionaire wife is heiress of
> the Heinz Ketchup fortune -- a "small" business
>
> Ranking member of the Hispanic Task Force, even though I "borked"
> Miguel Estrada
>
> Chaired the Senate Democratic Leadership Steering and Coordination
> Committee
>
> In 1987, teemed up with Teddy to get an override of presidential
> veto of Boston's Big Dig Boondoggle -- one of the most larded
> distributions of taxpayer largess in U.S. history.
>
> In 1991 the Senate created the Select Senate Committee on POW/MIA
> Affairs to investigate the possibility that U.S. prisoners of
> war and soldiers designated missing in action were still alive
> in Vietnam. Acting as chairman, I helped persuade the group to
> vote unanimously that no American servicemen still remained in
> Vietnam. In doing so, I helped begin the process of normalizing
> U.S.-Vietnamese relations.
>
> Wealthiest senator ("man of the people"), with an estimated net
> worth of nearly $200 million (that's $800 million if you combine
> it with my current wife's assets)
>
>
> POLITICAL POSTURING AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
>
> ABORTION
>
> Voted to federally fund abortions
>
> Voted against parental consent for minors
>
> Voted against ban on Partial Birth Abortion (3 times)
>
> Voted against ban on sending money to UN population fund --
> the money was sent to pay for China's forced abortion and
> sterilization policy
>
> Have been warned by Catholic clergy that I will not be served
> communion due to my stance on this issue
>
> NARAL lifetime rating of 100%; National Right to Life
> Committee lifetime rating of 0%
>
>
> DEATH PENALTY
>
> Oppose federal and/or state death penalty (except for innocent
> unborn children -- see above)
>
> Voted against death penalty for terrorists
>
> Voted against death penalty for drug-related murders
>
>
> TAXES & ECONOMICS
>
> I like high taxes and want to raise them
>
> Voted against all three Bush tax cuts & want to repeal them
>
> Voted for 1993 Clinton tax hike (largest in history)
>
> Voted against major tax relief packages at least 10 times
>
> Support re-raising taxes on the wealthy to redistribute money
> for healthcare and education -- i.e., Socialism
>
> Claim I can stop outsourcing and create 10 million new jobs in
> four years, despite the fact that there are only about 8
> million unemployed people in the U.S.
>
> Want to raise the minimum wage, which will result in
> outsourcing and the loss of jobs Voted at least 5 times
> against balanced budget amendments
>
> Voted at least 5 times to raid the Social Security Trust Fund
>
> Believe Washington manages your money better than you could
>
> Lifetime rating of 26% from Citizens Against Government Waste
>
>
> MILITARY & NATIONAL SECURITY
>
> We don't need a military, per se
>
> Favor UN control of remaining U.S. Troops
>
> Voted for 7 major reductions in military funding
>
> Voted against Gulf War I (1991)
>
> Voted for Gulf War II -- but then criticized and voted against
> military appropriation for troops
>
> Voted against MX missile, Trident Submarine, SDI (Strategic
> Defense Initiative -- Star Wars), and the B-1 and B-2 Stealth
> Bomber/Fighter
>
> Supported slashing $2.6 billion from intelligence funding
> while serving as a member of Senate Intelligence Committee
>
> SECOND AMENDMENT
>
> Against
>
> Have earned a lifetime rating of 0% from the National Rifle
> Association
>
>
> FAITH & VALUES
>
> Against/Don't have any
>
> Voted Against Defense of Marriage Act
>
> Favor civil unions for homosexuals until marriage is popular
> enough to support
>
> Voted to extend hate crimes protections to homosexuals
>
> Voted against voluntary school prayer
>
> Voted against ban on human cloning and support embryonic
> stem-cell research
>
>
> EDUCATION
>
> Voted against voucher pilot program
>
> Voted against approving a school-choice pilot program
>
> Support racial profiling and preference for admission to
> universities, known as "affirmative action"
>
>
> JUDGES, COURTS & LAW
>
> Against racial profiling and preference when dealing with
> terrorism
>
> Voted against confirmation William Rehnquist as Chief Justice
> of the Supreme Court
>
> Voted against confirmation of Robert Bork and Clarence Thomas
> to the Supreme Court
>
> Only support activist judges who will support abortion,
> persecute Christians and rewrite the Constitution
>
> Voted against confirmation John Ashcroft as U.S. Attorney
> General
>
> Voted against punitive damage limits in products liability
> cases
>
> As Michael Dukakis' Lt. Governor from 1983-1985, supported
> granting prison furloughs to hundreds of Massachusetts inmates
>
>
> FOREIGN POLICY
>
> Against linking Most Favored Nation status to China's human
> rights record
>
> Voted for Kyoto Protocol on Environment that exempted major
> Third World polluters, while creating an unfair burden on
> American taxpayers
>
> Supported Iraq regime change as late as January 2003, but not
> anymore
>
> Support unilateral nuclear freeze
>
> Support submitting completely to the UN, as well as the
> International Criminal Court, taking all sovereignty away
> from the U.S. and its citizens
>
> Don't know what the Geneva Conventions say, mean or who
> they apply to
>
>
> OTHER QUALIFICATIONS
>
> Five multi-million dollar mansions
>
> A large multi-million dollar yacht
>
> Many "American" cars, including several gas-guzzling SUVs, which
> I am opposed to politically
>
> Personal 757 campaign jet
>
> Access to unlimited condiments -- did I mention my current
> millionaire wife is heiress to the Heinz fortune
>
> Have dual citizenship in France
>
>
> REFERENCES
>
> General Vo Nguyen Giap -- most celebrated military hero of NORTH
> VIETNAM, where I served
>
> "Hanoi Jane" Fonda
>
> Teddy Kennedy
>
> John F. Kennedy -- we have the same initials
>
> Howard Dean -- (Albert Gore by proxy)
>
> Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings
>
> "Foreign Leaders" who I am unable to name at this time