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[jufonuk]

I Think I may have it, I am 39 years old

My son, who has been diagnosed with ADHD shares similar traits with me. thinking back I had the Hyper behavior at school and find it difficult to concentrate at times. (did bad academically but pull it a bit together later)

long story short it is playing havoc with certain parts of my life. (work thankfully isn't one as well my job is very all over the place by nature and it suits me down to the ground in that regard)

other things like general day to day.. it fucks things up.

I go to do something 20 mins later I am doing three other things but only half of them.
then when people give me instructions I am geared up to do them, suddenly it slips my mind or I procrastinate

I write todo lists but then I either do not consult them (because it slips my mind), or try and do the list but take a shit load of time to do it where other people are just like a-b-c-d done.

I'm like A-D-B-A-C bit more of A oh C , wait lets look at this random thing.
shit I have one hour left to do it. aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.

how the fuck ?? what is wrong with me.

also things I should focus on slip my mind as they never seem to register.
or if people tell me things sometimes I Zone out at the wrong time.

what can I do?

it's taking a toll on people as sometimes I am so all over the place I need direction.

I am capable just I sometimes forget things or get focused on items that don't matter.

the worse thing I do is snap and panic or whatnot when I screw up.

I've tried so many hobbies in the past and I hardly get through them without completion, (guitar, French, Video Games, programming etc) I start to reach a block, then back burner back burner stop leave it to start something else or try and start the hobby again from the star then repeat the cycle)

please any GAF members have this and how do they cope? Medication, Meditation, looking for help.


TLDR, 39 year old man with a Son who has ADHD , I share all the traits. I sporadically get my shit together but then I can't and just spin my wheels. it's taking its toll on things

wtf is there hope

 

[Andrew Korenchkin]

Discus it with a psychiatrist or GP. Ask about lifestyle changes and medication treatment.

 

[sephiroth7x]

As a 33 year old with ASD (Aspergers), and a son who has ADHD I can tell you that in response to your 'Is there hope?', "Yes, more than you can imagine."

First thing to remember is that it isn't all about being hyperactive all the time. For example, I was traited as having ADHD as part of my ASD. Not because I run around like a lunatic or because I can't focus (Quite the opposite) but because I fidget, and have to be doing something else all the time (Chewing a pen, tapping my fingers, bouncing my leg - as a kid I read books spinning on chairs etc.).

From what you have said, it will be the other parts of ADHD that effect you more in day to day. The forgetfulness is a big part. My son's memory is horrific, from one minute having a giant dinner to the next minute forgetting he has eaten and asking me when dinner is... it is that bad.

What I would suggest for you, is to try (and it is difficult and I see it in my son all the time) and control a lot of things. Depending on the type of work you do, it may be impossible but find ways of controlling the 'revved up' feeling you will have. Squeeze a stress toy. Chew a lid. Tap your feet. Try to curb it because work places aren't the kind of places we can express this need (unless your job is physical) but out of work we can alleviate that stress with activity. Meditation, gym work, sports... even gaming works as long as it holds interest.

The list solution is good. Very good but obviously you need to consult them regularly and try to program yourself to remember that you have to stick to the list.

There is medical assistance if you want to go down that route and some of them are really effective but (and this is entirely personal, don't take my word for it as we are all different) I would try and self control oneself before going down this route.

End of the day, if you believe you do have a genuine case of ADHD, speak with your family, speak with those around you, and especially your parents. When you go to a doctor and express that you believe these things, your parents will be the first port of call to ask about how you were as a child and how you dealt with situations growing up to determine if this is behavioural or indeed an ADHD situation.

Good luck my friend. Trust me when I say that self discipline and a lot of help goes a long way.

 

[PixelatedBookake]

Yeah my therapist said I might have ADHD as well. I'm currently taking an L in college at the moment and I feel as if its due to my inability to study or pay attention in class. My dad thinks I'm making it up and using it as an excuse. Also I don't have health insurance so I honestly have no idea how to get help.

 

[jstripes]

I'm 38 and have it, and it's made my life very difficult. I was diagnosed when I was 9, and I've been on and off meds over the years, for various reasons. (Side effects, expense, etc.)

It's manageable if you have the sheer willpower or the right meds. I found the right ones a few years ago, but I can't afford the $150/month for them. If I was on them I'd probably have a better job and be able to afford them. Funny how that works.

If you're in a good job and have a family, you must be doing something right, so keep up hope and talk to a professional.

 

[sephiroth7x]

Yeah my therapist said I might have ADHD as well. I'm currently taking an L in college at the moment and I feel as if its due to my inability to study or pay attention in class. My dad thinks I'm making it up and using it as an excuse. Also I don't have health insurance so I honestly have no idea how to get help.

We are all different, and I can only go on how I am working with my son to do these things, but see if there are any ways you can study while 'doing something'. Sounds ridiculous but my son has developed my way of dealing with it by spinning on his chair while reading as it keeps his body active and sates the 'revving' feeling while still studying. Not guaranteed but worth a shot... stress toys and pen lids were my saviours in school/college/uni etc.

 

[wandering]

I have Tourette syndrome which is often comorbid with ADHD but I don’t know whether my short attention span is really due to ADHD or my depression and anxiety.

 

[jufonuk]

I've had arguments with people where I try to explain I am not being a dick, but honestly if you saw someone with a mashed up leg or something you wouldn't go just walk it off.

but no messed up mind.
think right, etc sort it out.

how??

 

[biggersmaller]

Everyone hears a lot of people say "I/he/she is so ADHD" so often it begins to lose meaning. For a lot of people they understandably roll their eyes when evoked. I was diagnosed my junior year of high school and again 2 years ago.

I graduated high school with a 2.0, from college with a 2.0 with an associates that took 4 years, followed by a inexplicably meteoric 8 year professional career that was suddenly cut short when fired for making too many mistakes at too high a level. I've never had a gap in employment in ten years since college but am currently back near the bottom of the corporate ladder.

That said, I am not complaining. I live in a great neighborhood with a wife who loves me dearly and 2 kids. I've been told I am a great writer and charismatic. I am "smart" in that if you give me enough time with materials I can blow people's minds with new approaches and changes in business.

My life is great and I don't mean to brag. Frankly it's pure luck considering my dad worked at Burger King and my mom at Dayton's (old dept store). However, it's because I've learned to embrace that I cannot pull details off the top of my head and not become an ADHD evangelical who mentions it every 3 seconds. Instead I apologize to people when I gaze away during conversations. Although I love pop culture I just accept I am the worst at bar trivia but play my ass off anyway. I drift off during meetings and make patterns in the pitts of the bricks in the conference room walls, but when I catch myself I ask for the deck notes from a trusted colleague.

I guess my advice is don't evangelize ADHD as people will respect you less. Instead utilize your strengths. Don't bullshit people. Work your ass off harder than everyone else.

 

[erlim]

OP, the best course of action is to seek a psychiatrist. From there, they can help figure how to evaluate you and possibly support through a course of drug treatment.

I am 32, and I didn't get diagnosed to ADD until this year. I'd get super emotional about projects and overwhelmed to the point of inaction. I'd interrupt people a lot in normal conversation. I also finished college in three years by buying adderal off my roommate at the time.

Anyway, going to the psychiatrist is something I should have done waaaaaay earlier. Life management has become...manageable.

 

[Raptomex]

I'm 28 and was diagnosed when I was 6. I was on Ritalin as a young child and Adderall after that. After I turned 18 I stopped taking Adderall because it was affecting my appetite. I started having anxiety when I was 22 - 23. Exercise helped but then my doctor got me on Vyvanse and it's amazing. No real side effects for me. I would suggest speaking to a doctor about that.

ADHD has its ups and downs. When I'm not on anything, I laugh a lot, I'm all over the place, and one of the benefits is being able to multitask better than most people. And if I do get into something I'm really interested in, I enter what they call "hyperfocus" (or whatever it is now), where I can block out the world around me and just dedicate my time to whatever I'm doing. Getting interrupted will just annoy me in that case. The downside, for me, is I may end up with anxiety and, obviously not being able to stay focused on most things.

There's nothing wrong with you or your son. Just relax and take a breath. I would suggest consulting a doctor if you feel it's affecting your life negatively.

 

[Fhtagn]

I dunno if there's a more recent book of similar quality, but I recommend Driven to Distraction, which cleared up a lot about ADHD for me.

Also worth looking into GTD or other task management philosophies or just become religious about using todo list software as if you dump everything you need to get done into a todo list and the review that list every day or week, it'll cut back on stuff you forget to take care of.

 

[sephiroth7x]

I graduated high school with a 2.0, from college with a 2.0 with an associates that took 4 years, followed by a inexplicably meteoric 8 year professional career that was suddenly cut short when fired for making too many mistakes at too high a level. I've never had a gap in employment in ten years since college but am currently back near the bottom of the corporate ladder.

That said, I am not complaining. I live in a great neighborhood with a wife who loves me dearly and 2 kids. I've been told I am a great writer and charismatic. I am "smart" in that if you give me enough time with materials I can blow people's minds with new approaches and changes in business.

My life is great and I don't mean to brag. Frankly it's pure luck considering my dad worked at Burger King and my mom at Dayton's (old dept store). However, it's because I've learned to embrace that I cannot pull details off the top of my head and not become an ADHD evangelical who mentions it every 3 seconds. Instead I apologize to people when I gaze away during conversations. Although I love pop culture I just accept I am the worst at bar trivia but play my ass off anyway. I drift off during meetings and make patterns in the pitts of the bricks in the conference room walls, but when I catch myself I ask for the deck notes from a trusted colleague.

I guess my advice is don't evangelize ADHD as people will respect you less. Instead utilize your strengths. Don't bullshit people. Work your ass off harder than everyone else.

Awesome post. Hope my son learns to embrace it like you have done.

I learned to do the same with my ASD. Its not meant to sound cocky, but a lot of information comes easy to me. I retain figures, numbers, facts etc ridiculously easy (all family and any friends I do have call me Sheldon due to Big Bang, this started long before everyone kind of realised Sheldon is mimicking a high functioning Asperger) so I used this for the role I am in now. My company see it as a massive bonus and use me (in a good way) for all sorts of things.

Any kind of Mental condition makes us individual. And sometimes, those things that make us special and different are so coveted we end up winning. Just got to fight for it!

 

[How About No]

I believe I may have a mild form of Inattentive, but I won't be able yo find out for sure until November

I have a rough time reading without having my mind wander, or just eying the words on the page and then realizing I didn't read any of it. Among other things

 

[Dark_3nergy]

Discus it with a psychiatrist or GP. Ask about lifestyle changes and medication treatment.

This is pretty much what I had to do while younger. Try it for yourself OP, though... I Hated taking the drugs though.

I graduated high school with a 2.0, from college with a 2.0 with an associates that took 4 years, followed by a inexplicably meteoric 8 year professional career that was suddenly cut short when fired for making too many mistakes at too high a level. I've never had a gap in employment in ten years since college but am currently back near the bottom of the corporate ladder.

I'm afraid of doing the same thing here, man you're brave for being able to get through that. That would absolutely reck me. Had something similar happen to me, luckily caught wind of it from my review and work wants to help me make sure it doesn't happen again.

 

[Andrew Korenchkin]

And be sure to avoid any idiot who attempts to tell you it's fake. They are idiots, plain and simple.

 

[Northeastmonk]

Meds for ADHD can speed up your heart. I took them as a teen. The thing is, if you go to any psychiatrist they'll probably prescribe you meds because that's how it works with psychiatrist.

It sucks. I hated the feeling of not having the right attention span. If you're suffering from any amount of depression then definitely deal with that first because the meds ADHD will increase your behavior.

I haven't been on ADHD meds in a long time. I went to speak to a psychiatrist about it a few months ago. She wanted me to take some antidepressants because I was a bit depressed. Which I didn't want to take. They can make you gain weight and other crappy side effects. Therapy has helped me. Maybe a therapist would help.

 

[siddx]

The internet is not the place to diagnose these things. Go to a professional.

 

[biggersmaller]

Awesome post. Hope my son learns to embrace it like you have done.

I learned to do the same with my ASD. Its not meant to sound cocky, but a lot of information comes easy to me. I retain figures, numbers, facts etc ridiculously easy (all family and any friends I do have call me Sheldon due to Big Bang, this started long before everyone kind of realised Sheldon is mimicking a high functioning Asperger) so I used this for the role I am in now. My company see it as a massive bonus and use me (in a good way) for all sorts of things.

Any kind of Mental condition makes us individual. And sometimes, those things that make us special and different are so coveted we end up winning. Just got to fight for it!

Funny enough my son is currently being evaluated for ASD. At first I was in denial about a lot of the behaviors we saw, but my wife (who is a teacher) really turned me around on the topic. We'll see how the assessment turns out and I truly appreciated reading your insights.

I'm afraid of doing the same thing here, man you're brave for being able to get through that. That would absolutely reck me. Had something similar happen to me, luckily caught wind of it from my review and work wants to help me make sure it doesn't happen again.

Thanks for that. It sucked failing through school. It made me advocate for changing our system from being strictly an "assessment by multiple choice" system.

I'm glad to hear your job is willing to work with you. Mine really didn't give a shit from an HR level. And this was a Fortune 500 company.

Meds for ADHD can speed up your heart. I took them as a teen. The thing is, if you go to any psychiatrist they'll probably prescribe you meds because that's how it works with psychiatrist.

It sucks. I hated the feeling of not having the right attention span. If you're suffering from any amount of depression then definitely deal with that first because the meds ADHD will increase your behavior.

I haven't been on ADHD meds in a long time. I went to speak to a psychiatrist about it a few months ago. She wanted me to take some antidepressants because I was a bit depressed. Which I didn't want to take. They can make you gain weight and other crappy side effects. Therapy has helped me. Maybe a therapist would help.

I also took meds briefly. It caused a huge amount of anxiety when I had no reason to be anxious and insomnia.

I personally approach my ADHD as less a medical problem and more a personality trait that does not jive with our education system that I do not need drugs to manage. I know that approach does not work for all and everyone should do whatever makes them successful.