Are you the best version of yourself, Gaf?
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GymWolf
Member
Don't let society tells you what you need to be happy.Threads like these never fail to make me feel weird as phuck.
I live the most boring life ever. Get up in the morning, spend the day in the office, come home, do my home training (or go walking while listening to an audiobook), prepare my one meal per day, eat and watch a movie, game a little bit and then go to sleep - repeat. On weekends and days off I usually then do more sports and/or game more. That's it. For some reason I have no drive whatsoever to progress any further in my job and earn more. The only thing I really care about is progressing with my training.
And the weirdest thing ever is that aside from the occasional day here and there I could not be happier... which is kind of a problem because I feel like I should start a family soon. However, not only is it hard to find someone willing to live with someone living like me but also most other people only become a burden for me because they bring all their problems into my care free live. Darn it...
People that are REALLY happy are few and far between, so if your simple life makes you happy, you already have more than the majority of people.
Reality Czar
Banned
Feel like society tries to sell people on the idea that they need improvement. So much of consumerism is geared around this. You have all the plastic surgery shit, fake ass women trying to sell some impossible ideal. You have the mental health racket, a lot of which is pretty much just a mystery, people treating their depression with drugs. Then there is the hedonist side to consumerism: promoting alcoholism as a cool thing. The whole "wine mom" movement is kinda the latest thing to tap into socially accepted alcoholism. "Life sucks so you drink" seems to be the common sentiment, which is stupid and literally self destructive. Wallowing in cynicism seems to be a big component of consumerism. Everything is geared towards making you feel like shit and offering you the solution. We end up with million of insecure people who have to self medicate. So the solution to your life sucking is basically slowing killing yourself. It's not an ideal situation. It's kind of insane tbh.
People need to learn to be happy with what they have. That's kind of verbotten in this victim-driven society.
People need to learn to be happy with what they have. That's kind of verbotten in this victim-driven society.
I agree. I think the idea of becoming the 'best version of yourself' can often be confused with wanting to ultimately seek the approval of others or prove yourself to others. Those may overlap for some people, but I argue that's not end all be all for everyone expressing that motivation. No 'one size fits all' solutions in life on planet Earth.
I believe realizing that it's more to do with self-perception is really where the liberation lies. You can't force others to change when you need that change, but you can change how you perceive a situation and yourself, ideally followed by actions based on that newly found realization of one's self. Which can have notable influence.
ThatStupidLion
Member
close enough.
i think there is always "what if" and idealistic daydreams. thats only healthy.
but for the most part, yes. ive been very cognizant of being in control of my own life and what i allow to dictate its direction and decisions
i think there is always "what if" and idealistic daydreams. thats only healthy.
but for the most part, yes. ive been very cognizant of being in control of my own life and what i allow to dictate its direction and decisions
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ThatStupidLion
Member
im not going to post a lengthy encouraging response like others, though I can.
I just want to say - its just as important to love others as it is to be loved. so even if you dont feel others love, they (ie. your children etc.) can still feel yours and thats very important
poodaddy
Member
Definitely agree brother, and my daughter is my entire universe, and somehow, thankfully, I haven't fucked that up. She knows she's everything to me, and she'll continue knowing that. Never will she feel like I did growing up, and as happy and creative as she is, I know she's one thing I've done right in my life, and I'm immensely proud of that.
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
We live in a society
BigBooper
Member
True words. Not saying it's easy to change your mind that way. For me, Christianity is beneficial that way because while it's kind of all about improving your life and those around you, contentment is also a big focus.
A big help for me is analyzing everything. I have a very minimalistic way of thinking about everything but especially about problems. Any problem can be narrowed down to a few key decisions, and then you just have to choose which decision is best at the time. Disregard whatever is worrying your mind that you cannot change, at least until a time in the future when you can do something about it.
My only problem with that way of thinking is I don't often take other people's emotions into consideration, but those situations don't usually last long.
JimmyRustler
Member
I know, however it can be a bit fickle at times. It's hard to shake everything off you've been told your entire life... Hell, my grandmother still asks me every time we talk when I'm gonna start a family. I wish people would just mind their own business.
What does usually help me is to simply observe others, especially those who have achieved everything I am supposed to do. Because every time I do and ask myself the question if I want to for me the answer is... nope.
I guess a lot of it has to do that I am not good at faking when I'm not feeling well whereas most others are quite good at it. Hence I usually have the impression everything is great in others people life's when it more often than not isn't.
AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
I think you are more important to some people than you realize. You should have some conversations with others about what you mean to them. When I was young I thought that I hadn't accomplished anything, and when I spoke about this, people told me they thought I had done far more than them. I didn't need to hear it, but the perspective helped. Everyone struggles, everyone has value.
VeganElduderino
Member
Fuckin A! I'm here to live it the best way i can even if we have the worse shit in the world controlling us ..our government and don't forget people don't let work define who you are ..find passions, music , art etc i know too many people that without work they are mindless zombies. I have no purpose or goals in life , i live day to day not worrying what tommorow brings me , i don't need much to be happy and i treat every living beings the way i want to be treated ..
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AppleBlade
Member
I am happy (almost in awe) with how far I've come relative to where I started and pretty much have the life I dreamed of. I'm the son of immigrants who grew up in the ghetto. I married my high school sweet heart (who also grew up in the ghetto in worse circumstances than me) and we went to college together and graduated together (I graduated with an engineering degree and she got a nursing degree). We now own a nice colonial in an upper-middle class Connecticut suburb and have two kids (son and daughter). I teach Computer Science at a high school and she is a school nurse so we get to spend the summer together going hiking and to the beach. I teach at a Technology Magnet School with a large population of low income urban students and it is a very fulfilling job. I also get to teach programming and video game design so I'm basically teaching my hobby/personal interests and the students really appreciate my passion. I've traveled (been to Paris, did Study Abroad in Italy, did 2 cruises, been to several Caribbean islands and all over the US). I'm maxing out my 401k, have no credit card debt and am on track for early retirement. I have always tried to do the right thing and things worked out for me.
I wouldn't say I'm my absolute best self but I work on it every month. In fact I make a monthly goal to improve myself in the areas that are important to me (i.e. My mind, my body, my career, being a husband, being a father, my hobbies) and this practice has made sure that I never forget to do sweet surprises for my wife or spend 1 on 1 time with each of my kids or read non-fiction books in topics I'm interested in.
I wouldn't say I'm my absolute best self but I work on it every month. In fact I make a monthly goal to improve myself in the areas that are important to me (i.e. My mind, my body, my career, being a husband, being a father, my hobbies) and this practice has made sure that I never forget to do sweet surprises for my wife or spend 1 on 1 time with each of my kids or read non-fiction books in topics I'm interested in.
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oldpotatoman
Neo Member
I feel/felt the same, but if I makes you feel any better most of my life growth occurred from 38-42. I finally feel on track, and there are realistically very few things that I missed out on and will never have a chance to do because of my age. Maybe some fantasy things, but none of the stuff I've really aged out on was going to be part of my experience anyway.
SebastianShaw
Member
Well, i just had a huge corrective jaw surgery so i hope so
Maiden Voyage
Gold™ Member
Now I'm just waiting to die
Alright
Banned
Reality Czar
Banned
I'm very blessed to be alive. As a baby I had many many health problems and had I been born some previous time would not have survived. Pioneering surgery saved my life, and it was based out of near where I was born, so for that I have to thank God. I don't think I could ever have had this life in any other time period tbh.
Growing up in the 80s was wonderful and the more that society changes the more I am glad I was able to experience that freedom. I remember summers where I would stay with friends for weeks just playing NES and exploring the woods all day long with no internet, no phone, no constant news updates. Just real life in the real world. Playing soccer in the yard. Making potato guns and zip lines and shit. Catching frogs and crayfish in the creek. Great stuff. Maybe the best times of my life? To me now, it is mythical. Idyllic days to be sure.
I was that surly teen atheist edgelord who discovered Church of the Subgenius in middle school. I think I even had a fedora, it was my great grandfather's. I had tons of acne and was on lots of medication for my surgeries and my parents got divorced. Started getting into computers with DOOM modding and BBSes. A philosophically very formative time but I was a mess and even suicidal at times. Thankfully I made it through. My 20s were fun, college was much less insular, and I met friends and found a scene. Playing music and joining bands and living that life for a decade or so was real fun. Going on tours, putting out DIY albums, sleeping on floors, getting laid, going to the same bars hundreds of a times a year. The 20s were fun. But I was mostly a drunk the whole time, and acted like a total moron a number of times. Probably missed out on many chances looking back, but then, you can't get too hard on yourself doing that. It can be a one way ticket to madness. Besides, you always look back and imagine if things got better. It is just as likely things ended up worse.
Nowadays I do alright. I am a born again, and no longer a moral relativist but Christian conservative. The leftist extremism of the past few years have red pilled me back to Jesus. Physically I feel better than I have in decades (quitting smoking cigarettes helped big time). Mentally I'm in a much more stable condition, and financially doing the best I've ever been. This "waiting around to die" shit I can't vibe with. It's not true anyways, you can meet people anywhere, it has happened to me before, it will happen again. You got to be optimistic. Cynicism is so easy and lazy and popular. But I have always been a contrarian.
Growing up in the 80s was wonderful and the more that society changes the more I am glad I was able to experience that freedom. I remember summers where I would stay with friends for weeks just playing NES and exploring the woods all day long with no internet, no phone, no constant news updates. Just real life in the real world. Playing soccer in the yard. Making potato guns and zip lines and shit. Catching frogs and crayfish in the creek. Great stuff. Maybe the best times of my life? To me now, it is mythical. Idyllic days to be sure.
I was that surly teen atheist edgelord who discovered Church of the Subgenius in middle school. I think I even had a fedora, it was my great grandfather's. I had tons of acne and was on lots of medication for my surgeries and my parents got divorced. Started getting into computers with DOOM modding and BBSes. A philosophically very formative time but I was a mess and even suicidal at times. Thankfully I made it through. My 20s were fun, college was much less insular, and I met friends and found a scene. Playing music and joining bands and living that life for a decade or so was real fun. Going on tours, putting out DIY albums, sleeping on floors, getting laid, going to the same bars hundreds of a times a year. The 20s were fun. But I was mostly a drunk the whole time, and acted like a total moron a number of times. Probably missed out on many chances looking back, but then, you can't get too hard on yourself doing that. It can be a one way ticket to madness. Besides, you always look back and imagine if things got better. It is just as likely things ended up worse.
Nowadays I do alright. I am a born again, and no longer a moral relativist but Christian conservative. The leftist extremism of the past few years have red pilled me back to Jesus. Physically I feel better than I have in decades (quitting smoking cigarettes helped big time). Mentally I'm in a much more stable condition, and financially doing the best I've ever been. This "waiting around to die" shit I can't vibe with. It's not true anyways, you can meet people anywhere, it has happened to me before, it will happen again. You got to be optimistic. Cynicism is so easy and lazy and popular. But I have always been a contrarian.
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Death is a natural part of life, although just waiting to die sounds worse than death imo lol.Now I'm just waiting to die
Alright
Banned
Nowt else to do and I don't want to die, so I'm just letting nature take its' course.
Guardian's Light
Member
Update: my worst possible version ever, speaking about everything but fitness level
I'm not a person anymore, now more than before, and I'm living another depression like period
I'd have lots of reasons to be happy, work for example, who's going very good all things considered, but... I realized today, again, that I'm basically an empty shell, I have no friends anymore in my city due to covid ( they live in other cities and stay here in normal times to work and study, many went away recently for work), no other things to do aside from training and working, I have no enthusiasm anymore in anything, games, music, food, movies, hobbies in general, no interest in other persons, no way to know new people (even on socials, while last year I got to know a shitload of new awesome people while in quarantine) in my family...nothing
Brain dead, a body roaming around doing things on auto pilot since october, and things are worsening
And damn, if it sucks
I'm not a person anymore, now more than before, and I'm living another depression like period
I'd have lots of reasons to be happy, work for example, who's going very good all things considered, but... I realized today, again, that I'm basically an empty shell, I have no friends anymore in my city due to covid ( they live in other cities and stay here in normal times to work and study, many went away recently for work), no other things to do aside from training and working, I have no enthusiasm anymore in anything, games, music, food, movies, hobbies in general, no interest in other persons, no way to know new people (even on socials, while last year I got to know a shitload of new awesome people while in quarantine) in my family...nothing
Brain dead, a body roaming around doing things on auto pilot since october, and things are worsening
And damn, if it sucks
Grand Theft Scratchy
Banned
The first step to being better versions of ourselves is to be kind to ourselves and others. Live with love in your life, not fear.
Reptars Revenge
Member
2nd best but soon I will kill the best and absorb his power
If you think so. I don't though
Technically not true. You're aren't the same person you were when you were 10, nor 18, nor in your 20s assuming you're older.
T8SC
Member
Time traveling isn't possible & therefore multiple versions of me cannot exist in the same time & space.
Don't know about time traveling, although it's theoretically plausible that parallel versions of one's self can exist, although that seems like a very different topic than this thread haha.
That's a miserable feeling. I'm no psychologist, but it sounds to me like symptoms of depression, at least referring back to times I've experienced it.
Doing the same things over and over again likely won't mitigate those feelings and thoughts. Maybe it's time to think about uprooting if that's a possibility for you in the very near future?
A change of scenery, learning new skills, taking up new hobbies, etc. Not a guaranteed solution obviously.
Nikana
Go Go Neo Rangers!
I feel like I am slowly getting there. After switching careers in my mid 20s and trying to do my next thing, I definitely wasn't progressing.
I stayed in a relationship that was clearly doomed but I let myself think I couldn't get what I wanted from life alone. Took a boat load of pain from her bullshit and therapy to really fix that situation but in my late 20s I hit that wall of progressing as far as I possibly could with my current life status.
Forced myself to get a "real" job. Amazing what a difference having a job that doesn't treat you like a body with a pulse and gives you decent benefits. That's helped me in other areas like dating and personal finances get to a much better place.
Am I where I wanna be? Not yet, but I feel like I am capable of getting there now where as before it was impossible.
I stayed in a relationship that was clearly doomed but I let myself think I couldn't get what I wanted from life alone. Took a boat load of pain from her bullshit and therapy to really fix that situation but in my late 20s I hit that wall of progressing as far as I possibly could with my current life status.
Forced myself to get a "real" job. Amazing what a difference having a job that doesn't treat you like a body with a pulse and gives you decent benefits. That's helped me in other areas like dating and personal finances get to a much better place.
Am I where I wanna be? Not yet, but I feel like I am capable of getting there now where as before it was impossible.
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Guardian's Light
Member
Yes, I feel that all of these are signs of a pre - depression stage
I did't have the chance, nor the desire to see any of my relatives and I spent Easter alone, and this is the first Easter Monday in my life i'm passing alone, every other year since my 15s, as of now, I was doing a barbecue, and drinking, eating with friends, and today i'm on sofa looking at the clouds instead since two hours, due to the reasons linked to no friends in my town now that I described in previous posts
Also, going out and have a walk is not permitted on april 3rd, 4th and 5th
Horrible year for sure, I'll never forget it
As for what you say, I have no drive to start new hobbies, sadly, It's even difficult to mantain my usual ones, there are days, weeks where I have fun having my hobbies, and other ones, more recently in particular, where I feel like I described
Have you ever seen a movie or a cartoon where a foe steal a character's soul, and he's not able to laugh, have fun, Smile or feel anything anymore? I feel EXACTLY like that
Never tried something like this in all of my life, it 's like being a dead Man walking
Hope no one of you guys ever try this
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