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[NYCmetsfan]

Our generations greatest critical voice on film has a new list out

http://m.nationalreview.com/article/386521/across-ungreat-divide-armond-white

Since 2004, the year that film culture split along moral and artistic lines, political and class biases have been exhibited in films that became more and more partisan. This rift was furthered by a compromised media, where critics praised movies that exhibited cynicism along with political bias.

Not just entertainment, the 20 films listed here effectively destroyed art, social unity, and spiritual confidence. They constitute a corrupt, carelessly politicized canon.

The list:

1) Good Night and Good Luck (2005) — George Clooney, president of the corrupt canon, directed and acted in a dishonest fantasy biopic of TV-news icon Edward R. Murrow to revive blacklist lore as part of a liberal agenda.

2) The Dark Knight (2008) used the Batman myth to undermine heroism, overturn social mores, and embrace anarchy.

3) Ocean’s Twelve (2004) — Steven Soderbergh salutes land of the greedy and home of the depraved in a reboot franchise sequel, scoffing at the post-War conviction of Sinatra’s Rat Pack original.

4) 12 Years a Slave (2013) distorted the history of slavery while encouraging and continuing Hollywood’s malign neglect of slavery’s contemporary impact.

5) Wall-E (2008) — Nihilism made cute for children of all ages who know nothing about cultural history or how to sustain it.

6) Manderlay (2005) — Lars Von Trier’s Dogville sequel sold American self-hatred back to us, and critics fawned.

7) United 93 (2006) reduced the pain and tragedy of 9/11 to the inanity of a disaster movie.

8) Frost/Nixon (2008) — Political vengeance disguised as a dual biopic that prized showbiz egotism over conflicted public service.

9) Knocked Up (2007) — Judd Apatow’s comedy of bad manners attacked maturity and propriety.

10) The Social Network (2010) — David Fincher’s new Horatio Alger tale glorified technocrat Mark Zuckerberg with chic, digital-era arrogance.

11) Precious (2009) coincided with Obama’s first year in office to revive racial condescension with the audacity of nope.

12) The Hangover (2009) infantilized privileged adulthood, a celebration of chaos and irresponsibility.

13) Slumdog Millionaire (2008) — an Oscar-winning tale of game-show greed as an answer to systemic poverty.

14) A History of Violence (2005) — David Cronenberg’s new take on Ugly Americans blamed patriotic sadism.

15) Inglourious Basterds (2009) — Quentin Tarantino’s answer to Abu Ghraib, a cruel, jokey, ahistorical revision of WWII.

16) The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) — Ass-kicking espionage disparaged American foreign policy while making money off it.

17) Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005) — Sarcastic violence is the new marriage equality, says Brangelina, Hollywood’s POTUS and FLOTUS.

18) Che (2008) — Steven Soderbergh gives Hipster Hollywood its own four-hour rebuttal to Oliver Stone’s JFK.

19) There Will Be Blood (2007) — Paul Thomas Anderson’s pseudo-epic of the American soul cooked up an anti-Christian, weirdly misogynist history lesson.

20) Lincoln (2012) — Spielberg succumbs to Tony Kushner’s limousine-liberal cynicism to valorize Obama-era political chicanery.

Discuss.

 

[Oppo]

I love it. A listicle blog livejournal post all gussied up like it was a Big Boy article.

Some of those little comments aren't just beyond the pale, they are just straightforwardly confusing. #17, wtf

 

[Not]

Thanks for giving this guy more attention

EDIT: Though I strangely almost agree with a few of his opinions, lol

 

[Camp Lo]

I couldn't get past Armond White unfortunately.

 

[Burt]

Armond White getting his troll on, as always. This whole thing reads like

I wouldn't suggest anyone clicking through. It's literally just that list, and Armond White needs no more attention.

 

[DMczaf]

So after he turned into a ghost when RT removed him, he found the next best way to pop up in Facebook feeds.

Lists! Lots of lists!

 

[Hero_of_the_Day]

Came for the Dark Knight hate, left disappointed that I don't understand what the fuck he's saying.

 

[David Incorporated Esq.]

5) Wall-E (2008) — Nihilism made cute for children of all ages who know nothing about cultural history or how to sustain it.

'Da fuck?

 

[BronsonLee]

Armond should just bite the bullet and join Buzzfeed if this is how he's going to do things now

MOVIES HATE HIM - The Armond White Story

 

[CapitalismSucks DonkeyBalls]

How can Armond White continunally avoid cutting himself on all that edge?

 

[Not]

Dory wasn't a woman. Should have just said "female fish" and given up and sat down and thought hard about their choices in life.

 

[ahoyhoy]

Doesn't hold back on his crypto-facism in those comments

 

[studyguy]

Linked to mobile version of the site.
Wondered why the fuck the layout looked like something out of Geocities.

 

[Stet]

Sometimes I wonder how professional trolls can live with knowing that they'll always be remembered as if their voice was made of farts.

 

[FStop7]

Getting mad at Armond White is like getting mad at Sacha Baron Cohen in-character.

 

[CassidyIzABeast]

I wish there was video to this list going into more detail.

 

[Courage]

The 12 Years A Slave description must be the most idiotic one.

 

[Spoo]

This guy should literally not be allowed to have an opinion.

 

[Sheroking]

Armond White is a professional troll.

That this thread exists empowers him further.

 

[TrumanBurbank]

Discuss.

I don't want to discuss this colossal asshole and you shouldn't be bringing attention to him.

 

[Hero_of_the_Day]

Linked to mobile version of the site.
Wondered why the fuck the layout looked like something out of Geocities.

Haha. I thought the same thing. I was about to ask if the site was supposed to look like shit, then realized it was the mobile version. Those pictures look real good in 1080p.

 

[Prophet Steve]

I wish there was video to this list going into more detail.

I really wish there wasn't, this already feels like more Armond White I can handle. Don't expect that he actually has well-thought arguments. This list is concise for reasons.

 

[Cartman86]

His politics are so hard to nail down. Also Batman spies on everyone illegally at the end in the me of safety. That's neocon shit right there. Not anarchy.

 

[Marsyas]

Armond White is our greatest troll. I hope he expands into video game reviews.

 

[djplaeskool]

12 Years A Slave almost caused Armond White to spontaneously combust.
Dude has gone even deeper into the loony bin after getting tossed from the NY Film Critics Circle.

 

[Dany]

He is so wrong.

 

[Mr.Swag]

This guy is horrible

 

[Arkos]

Lol what a fucking idiot. You sure that's not an Onion article? It was worth a laugh.

 

[Faiz]

Wall-e promotes nihilism?

Where's the old man yelling at the sky gif
FFS?

 

[strafer]

what the fuck...

 

[ObbyDent]

What the fuck am I reading?

 

[Kai Dracon]

I know it's Armond but The Social Network glorified Zuckerberg? It made him look like an asshole. It ended with someone telling him he's an asshole.

 

[Uncle_Classy]

This is parody, right?

 

[Oozer3993]

He is a living, breathing embodiment of Poe's Law at this point. You'd think if he was a troll, the "real" Armond White would have shown his face by now (so to speak).

Came for the Dark Knight hate, left disappointed that I don't understand what the fuck he's saying.

Don't worry. Neither does he. He does all his writing by Mad Lib.

 

[munchie64]

Why can't he understand movies like Inglourious Basterds are based on historical fact?

Who does he write for these days btw?

 

[sphagnum]

It's pretty funny how many people in this thread obviously don't know who Armond White is.

 

[War Peaceman]

I know it's Armond but The Social Network glorified Zuckerberg? It made him look like an asshole. It ended with someone telling him he's an asshole.

Exactly. A pathetic loser with a knack for programming. I wonder if he is deliberately being like this or if he just completely misses the point of these films. I hope he is trolling because if not, he has issues.

 

[Arkos]

He seems to confuse the characters with the writer or director or the movie itself.

 

[Cagey]

Armond White reached the movie troll level cap years ago.

 

[shadowstew]

Remember he likes Scott Pilgrim though...

http://nypress.com/the-dweeb-that-would-rule-the-world/

 

[mclem]

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005) — Sarcastic violence is the new marriage equality, says Brangelina, Hollywood’s POTUS and FLOTUS.

Isn't that basically saying "(President of the United States) of Hollywood"? He wants POH, he does.

 

[sn00zer]

For the fst time ever I actually agree with SOME of his opinions...

 

[HerbertFish]

His writeups cracked me up for some reason

 

[B33]

I came in to see TOY STORY 3 on the list.

I left disappointed.

 

[SonicMegaDrive]

Yes, Mr. Sherman, everything stinks.

 

[FTF]

Why is this hack clown still given any attention?

 

[turtle553]

I know it's Armond but The Social Network glorified Zuckerberg? It made him look like an asshole. It ended with someone telling him he's an asshole.

I think besides the asshole part, it made him seem smart, witty, and confident. Not nearly as negative as I think it was meant to be.

 

[Christberg]

Wow, that's some wretched stuff right there. The only one of thise films that I agree has negative social implications is Batman. But not for the reasons he mentioned. It has to do with the slapdash justification for him violating the privacy of every citizen in Gotham.

 

[dramatis]

If I remember correctly from some podcast I listened to with Armond White as a guest, he thinks the Transformers movies are works of art.

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

If anything, Mr. & Mrs. Smith wasn't brutal enough. It could have been more like The War of the Roses, but that's not the mainstream movie you release with Brangelina in the Summer season.

Edit:

^ White has appeared on the Slashfilmcast multiple times.