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[SonicMegaDrive]

If I remember correctly from some podcast I listened to with Armond White as a guest, he thinks the Transformers movies are works of art.

I would like to listen to that.

 

[Reuenthal]

Armond White is a decent critic most of the time if you use the opposite of his recomendations

 

[HuskerDutheDu]

Say what you will, dude gets clicks.

 

[Kusagari]

If I remember correctly from some podcast I listened to with Armond White as a guest, he thinks the Transformers movies are works of art.

Which he couldn't detail or explain why he thinks that at all.

He can at least wing bullshit on movies he hates, but he fails miserably at explaining why he likes the trash he praises.

 

[Reuenthal]

Maybe he bashes what he likes and he praises what he dislikes. That would explain his transformers love and his hatred of many good films.

 

[SJRB]

Someone got paid for writing this.

Think about that for a moment.

 

[RustyNails]

I kept it together, until I got to

14) A History of Violence (2005) — David Cronenberg’s new take on Ugly Americans blamed patriotic sadism.

This man is a shameless creature. History of Violence is beyond amazing. No words can describe.

 

[Mike M]

7) United 93 (2006) reduced the pain and tragedy of 9/11 to the inanity of a disaster movie.

I... Actually kind of agree with this one...

 

[ChubbyHuggs]

If I remember correctly from some podcast I listened to with Armond White as a guest, he thinks the Transformers movies are works of art.

That alone should be enough reason to not listen to him.

 

[Joe Shlabotnik]

For the fst time ever I actually agree with SOME of his opinions...

It's impossible not to agree with him sometimes because his opinions are so scattershot that one or two of them will inevitably coincide with your own through sheer probability.

I don't mind him, he's certainly *interesting*, he doesn't make me mad, and I don't care that talking about him fuels his engine... but all that said, I'm pretty sure he's gone from iconoclasm to pure incoherence over the years. It's not that I'm chafing at this list because I disagree with his thoughts--I literally don't know what he's talking about here.

 

[Deleted member 47027]

I love Armond White. Great troll.

 

[Baron von Loathsome]

Didn't imagine the guy was really this crazy.

 

[GitarooMan]

Can't say I disagree on Oceans twelve: one of the worst movies ever put to film.

 

[Tatsumaki Senpuukyaku!]

His politics are so hard to nail down. Also Batman spies on everyone illegally at the end in the me of safety. That's neocon shit right there. Not anarchy.

Hes talking about the joker I think who does everything he lists

 

[Enduin]

Armond White getting his troll on, as always. This whole thing reads like

I wouldn't suggest anyone clicking through. It's literally just that list, and Armond White needs no more attention.

Reminds me of War Horse, a movie about a demonic horse that gets everyone it comes into contact with killed save for the one slow British country boy who raised it.

 

[Burt]

Can someone explain the Bourne one to me? Does he think that the films got an arms contract or something? Or is he saying that if you want to portray something in a negative light it's unethical to be successful and/or portray the thing you're criticizing at all? Or is he generalizing audiences and saying that people who paid for the movie were all going to see some gung-ho American asskicking and that somehow makes the film morally bankrupt? Maybe he's talking about American cultural imperialism as an extension of foreign policy?

"Schindler's List made money off of the Holocaust! Nothing but soulless commercialized filth!"

The really wretched thing is that that's probably close to his actual opinion.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

I really, really try to give him the benefit of the doubt, but when you read shit like this,

Precious (2009) coincided with Obama’s first year in office to revive racial condescension with the audacity of nope.

12 Years a Slave (2013) distorted the history of slavery while encouraging and continuing Hollywood’s malign neglect of slavery’s contemporary impact.

5) Wall-E (2008) — Nihilism made cute for children of all ages who know nothing about cultural history or how to sustain it.

9) Knocked Up (2007) — Judd Apatow’s comedy of bad manners attacked maturity and propriety.

The Dark Knight (2008) used the Batman myth to undermine heroism, overturn social mores, and embrace anarchy.

You wonder if he even bothered watching these films to completion. He's a troll until proven otherwise.

 

[Lubricus]

From his Wikipedia entry, a writer described him:

What makes Armond’s reviews perversely fascinating is that he is so obviously intelligent, yet this intelligence has been harnessed to the warped imperatives of an increasingly frustrated personality. Where your average critical hack job is just banal, White’s ability to disconnect the dots exerts a kind of bizarro brilliance. Try to take any of his recent reviews as seriously as he insists and you’ll find yourself, like Alice and the Red Queen, running in hermeneutic circles, getting nowhere fast. It makes for mediocre criticism but lurid psychodrama.[76]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armond_White

I do not read his writings.

 

[ZealousD]

I... Actually kind of agree with this one...

Did you actually watch United 93? It's hardly a "disaster movie" in any traditional sense.

Maybe World Trade Center is like this, but not United 93

 

[Doc Holliday]

 

[harSon]

My favorite living critic. He's not a good critic, but he's infinitely more entertaining than all of his contemporaries.

 

[Zaphod]

It must suck to watch everything through a political lens distorted by a persecution complex.

 

[Zia]

At least Armond was right about A.I.

And why'd he get removed from RT? 90% of the reviews included on there are garbage, at least he's entertaining.

 

[gutter_trash]

I was expecting Michale Bay's Transformers to top the list before reading the explanation of the author lol

 

[robotzombie]

Well at least he was right about The Social Network, broken clock and all that...

 

[Mike M]

Did you actually watch United 93? It's hardly a "disaster movie" in any traditional sense.

Maybe World Trade Center is like this, but not United 93

You're absolutely right, I somehow managed to conflate the two.

 

[entremet]

Master troll is still at it

His Slashfilm appearances are comedy gold. And he's definitely interesting to read.

 

[speculawyer]

LOL, what a whiner.

NoFunAllowed.jpg

 

[dramatis]

I would like to listen to that.

I found it, on /Filmcast. It was actually primarily a podcast discussing Inception, but from 44:00 onwards Armond White comes on. For the first 10 minutes he shits on video games, and then around 56:00 the podcaster asks White about why he thinks Nolan is a hack but Michael Bay is a gifted visionary.

lol

 

[SonicMegaDrive]

At least Armond was right about A.I.

And why'd he get removed from RT? 90% of the reviews included on there are garbage, at least he's entertaining.

He's entertaining, but he's insincere.

I found it, on /Filmcast. It was actually primarily a podcast discussing Inception, but from 44:00 onwards Armond White comes on. For the first 10 minutes he shits on video games, and then around 56:00 the podcaster asks White about why he thinks Nolan is a hack but Michael Bay is a gifted visionary.

lol

Thanks a bunch. I'll definitely give this a listen at work later. I love Armond.

 

[RustyNails]

Can someone explain the Bourne one to me? Does he think that the films got an arms contract or something? Or is he saying that if you want to portray something in a negative light it's unethical to be successful and/or portray the thing you're criticizing at all? Or is he generalizing audiences and saying that people who paid for the movie were all going to see some gung-ho American asskicking and that somehow makes the film morally bankrupt? Maybe he's talking about American cultural imperialism as an extension of foreign policy?

"Schindler's List made money off of the Holocaust! Nothing but soulless commercialized filth!"

The really wretched thing is that that's probably close to his actual opinion.

I hope that answered your question(s).

 

[Tucah]

That was hilarious.

 

[Zuhzuhzombie!!]

Came for the Dark Knight hate, left disappointed that I don't understand what the fuck he's saying.

"all of these movies make people like me look bad"

 

[DMczaf]

Master troll is still at it

His Slashfilm appearances are comedy gold. And he's definitely interesting to read.

I liked them because it revealed just how Beta those dudes at /Film are.

 

[ampere]

http://www.flickfilosopher.com/wptest/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/armondwhiteisntinsane.jpg[IMG]

I hope that answered your question(s).[/QUOTE]

Hahahaha if that list is real.

Harson pretty much has it right, the guy is 'entertaining' for how crazy he is.

 

[Dan]

His grandiose statements of self-importance are adorable.

 

[Intheflorsh]

I find this guy fascinating, I wonder what experiences he had to bring him to such a warped perspective.

 

[Delta Assault]

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who was reminded of The Poseidon Adventure while watching United 93...

Spoiler

lol what the hell

 

[FortuneFaded]

Did he even watch the entirety of Slumdog Millionaire or did he make a guess based off the trailer?

 

[Mutanthands]

Wha....

I don't even know how to process this. The logic is just so...alien. He's a fucking Martian.

 

[Muppet of a Man]

It's as if this guy copied this from a future Faux News talking points list.

 

[Pai Pai Master]

love it

dude needs to chill the fuck out and just watch a damn movie without getting his ego involved

 

[Dishwalla]

Did he even watch the entirety of Slumdog Millionaire or did he make a guess based off the trailer?

Most of them read that way, like he saw the trailer or read a review somewhere, or at the very most read the Wikipedia articles.

 

[cheststrongwell]

I enjoyed Frost/Nixon, but some of the liberties they took weren't necessary. I had the same problem with that Adams series on HBO.

Dude needs to chill though.

 

[Carcetti]

People are still seeking logic in his choices? It's pretty simple. He takes popular, quality movies and bashes them while advocating the worst tripe as art. He tries to disguise it with pseudointellectual jargon, and every time someone mentions his name, he gets more publicity from the outrage.

When people say he's a troll, they mean it literally.

 

[alfredofroylan]

There's a good reason why this guy is an outcast in the critics community, well two reasons.This one and this one.

 

[Dreams-Visions]

11) Precious (2009) coincided with Obama’s first year in office to revive racial condescension with the audacity of nope.

lol.

 

[cheststrongwell]

Just saw that list. Why does this guy hate good movies?

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

There's a good reason why this guy is an outcast in the critics community, well two reasons.This one and this one.

During the 79th New York Film Critics Circle Awards on Jan. 6, White reportedly yelled expletives at McQueen when he accepted the award for best director. White was quoted as loudly calling McQueen an "embarrassing doorman and garbage man." The comments did not audibly reach the front of the banquet hall, and McQueen did not appear to hear or respond to the comments during his acceptance speech.

Thanks to Adam Sandler, Armond White is back in the news. The former New York Press film critic who notoriously loves almost universally panned movies like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and Jonah Hex while hating, and often being the sole voice of opposition against, beloved films like Inception and Toy Story 3, last week published a rave review for Jack & Jill, Sandler’s latest film which has gotten some of the worst reviews of his career. That film currently stands at a putrid 3% on Rotten Tomatoes but White’s review has not been included.

Problem?

 

[CrankyJay]

Good, I fucking hated Good Night and Good Luck