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Asian-GAF: We're all the same, like Stormtroopers |OT| |AT|

C

CapNBritain

Member
My wife's family is from the mainland while mine is from Taiwan. Technically my dad's side is came over from the mainland during WW2 while my mom's side has been there longer. Neither cared and were just thankful I finally found someone.

I once brought back a Japanese girlfriend to meet up grandparents, totally forgetting the potential history there. Thankfully they didn't care.
 
B

BLOODED_hands

Member
Goofalo said:
My parents have never cared who I brought home.

Well, my dad said no Boston sports fans. But I'm on board with that anyway.
Click to expand...

latest
Click to expand...
How about Mr. Meeseeks, look at me?
 
B

BLOODED_hands

Member
Goofalo said:
I have never watched Rick and Morty
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It's a being that replicates itself whenever it's host needs something improved. If the host doesn't succeed, Mr. Meeseeks will then keep on replicating itself until the host succeeds.

Example: You brought home a Mr. Meeseeks, your dad introduces himself to Mr. Meeseeks and it will ask your dad if he wants to improve anything. If your dad said, "I want to improve my good looks!" "I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me! *replicates itself* Now it's replicant will attempt to make your dad look good. If it fails, it will replicate itself.

Does that sound good to your dad or nah? Lol
 
G

Goofalo

Member
Hmm.

I don't need Mr. Meeseeks there to know that the thing that he wanted improvement would be myself.

However, given at how the situation between my father and I currently stands, I think it would result me in seeing my father cry. And I'm not ready for that.
 
I

Izuna

Banned
firehawk12 said:
JhnO3hjl.jpg

UF1wiE7l.jpg


She says that in Cantonese after hearing the other woman speak Mandarin.

I don't even know if anyone else would appreciate this joke, but it's one of the reasons why I think Family Law is better than FOB at just being about a Chinese family living in a western world. lol
Click to expand...

lol that's hilarious.

I heard similar jokes since I worked with Chinese and Taiwanese staff in a restaurant....




Girl me looks dope
mfQ32vK.jpg
 
B

BLOODED_hands

Member
It's a hotly debated subject for Asians everywhere. We have discuss this in here and our conclusion is to arrive the earliest and ask for the check. No ifs, ands, or buts. Sure you'll be waiting for a while in the beginning but after everybody leaves you'll be feeling like a Marvel Celestial.
 
I

Izuna

Banned
Used to get a lot of Hong Kong customers and they would do their best to slyly pay for the bill. Like, get up for the toilet, whisper to go around "how much" and hand the money like we're trading drugs.

Usually, it was the younger male that did it, at the parent's dismay or some shit. They'd argue for a good five minutes.

The best part was when they wanted to be so sly they'd practically tip a shit ton because you don't have the ability to give the change. :D
 
Y

YesNOnoNOYes

Member
i try the catching eye contacts with the head waiters

i also try the arrive early and give the head waiter begging to target me in particular with the bill later

have also tried the well timed toilet visit

i have also tried the phone ahead and provide credit card details for booked table (only worked with booked reservations)

and i've also tried sharing the burden with accomplishes (usually mom) and we'd distract the table with convos whilst dad goes and deal with the check






MANY JUTSUS HAVE BEEN STUDIED IN THIS SPHERE
 
I

Izuna

Banned
Get on my level

I was on my shift when my friends ate so I ran my card through. They had no chance. (tbh it was my partner's friends and none of them was Chinese so they didn't have this custom...) BUT STILL
 
E

Erheller

Member
Izuna said:
Get on my level

I was on my shift when my friends ate so I ran my card through. They had no chance. (tbh it was my partner's friends and none of them was Chinese so they didn't have this custom...) BUT STILL
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Daaaamn those are some next level strats
 
Z

zeemumu

Member
Izuna said:
I swear, I've heard and seen this reaction before...

Zeemumu what you need to do is, give the waiter your card before you order (make sure it has no pin). Don't give her a chance!

Think about face!
Click to expand...

Well now she's gonna be expecting it. She's probably giving the waiter her card right now
 
Z

zeemumu

Member
Izuna said:
Just make sure you ain't publicly trading because she'll find a way to pay.
Click to expand...

I'll gain membership to Club 33 and give them my card and a picture of bunny and tell them to use that card if she ever walks in. It will be my ultimate moral victory
 
I

Izuna

Banned
zeemumu said:
I'll gain membership to Club 33 and give them my card and a picture of bunny and tell them to use that card if she ever walks in. It will be my ultimate moral victory
Click to expand...

She'll hack into your Uber account so the money comes out of her card. You need to think of these things.
 
I

Izuna

Banned
I'll tell you another trick. Agree on splitting the bill, then say out loud to the waiter you will pay half, then whisper to put it all on.

Though in hindsight this lost me a friend but ymmv
 
S

StMeph

Member
Here's a trick: threaten to murder your server's loved ones before their eyes in a remote warehouse location unless he accepts your terms to pay the bill.

Do you really want the blood of innocents on your hands?
 
G

Goofalo

Member
It depends.

With my parents, I think it's gotten to the point where, if it's not pho. I pay for everything.

With my aunts and uncles, I pay for everything, or split it with my cousins.

With my cousins, it depends. We usually take turns. Or, if they pay behind my back, I make up for it by buying their kids expensive and noisy toys.

With Asian friends, usually take turns, depending on the occasion.

With non-Asian friends...this can be tricky.
 
B

BLOODED_hands

Member
Whew.... Just got back from camping. Was a nice and fun experience. The bugs though. The damn bugs!!!

Also..... I wanted to say that it feels really weird(?) that alot of people have never seen an Asian person before or have never interacted with a Asian person before. I think some of the campers around us were from Ukraine? My older sister went to poop and overhead two girls talking about how surprised they were that WE spoke perfect english. I took a shower and overheard a group of dudes talking about us. They were whispering and then I caught the end of it because one of them blurted out:

You're 1% of them! *laughter ensues*

I think they thought I didn't speak any lick of English lol.

The store clerks were eyefucking me and my buddy when we bought some more supplies. We're harmless. I'm a 5'3" chubby Hmong dude with medium-length hair, and I wear glasses. Ain't nobody scared of that lol.

And come on.... We're camping with little kids. There is nothing to fear White people. Acting like they have never seen Asians or poc that go camping -_-

We were joking about trying to introduce ourselves with an accent and pretending we don't speak fluent english, and by the end we'll say goodbye with no accent lol. If there is one thing I love about being able to speak two languages, it's to fuck with people. Shit I bet other Asians do that with Asians that don't speak their language.
 
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