Autism - Welcome to the Spectrum

Status
Not open for further replies.
Lots of marriages end after a diagnosis. You guys have to be there for each other. A diagnosis is not a death sentence. Sometimes things will get fustrating, but you just have take it one day at a time.

Well I don't think it will come to that. The diagnosis was a shock although I kind of saw it coming. The biggest thing is she was very skeptical of the diagnosis, she just can't understand why they diagnosed him and to be fair the pediatricians didn't explain it very well. So we had some huge fights as I agree with it. He doesn't really meet the classic definition of "autism" which to my understanding isn't used anymore it's all "autism spectrum".

I guess the biggest things are he walks on his toes a lot, gets all excited and jumps up and down flapping his hands and when he does talk he just recite the alphabet A-Z or count (up to 29 now) or sings a few songs he knows over and over. He'll do this a lot throughout the day.

Also, services services services. There are tons of free services provided by the state, take advantage of them. My son has flourished because of them.

We're in Canada but we have a lot of public services available to us. We've been getting OT and ST for the past year or so and we'll be getting ABA/IBI but that might be a year from now due to the amount of people on the waiting list. There's a school readiness program starting in a few weeks and we want to enroll him in a preschool but most of them are full and now I have concerns as to how/if they'll be able to work with him properly.

Ultimately it's just shocking and overwhelming. We got handed a diagnosis and a folder of stuff to read and got sent on our way.

I really don't know what the future holds for him. He's made a lot of progress in the past few months so I am really hopeful

100% agree with this post. Our marriage went though a rough time. People tried to tell us everything had caused the situation. Services have been king for our boy.

We're deleting FB for now lol, don't need to deal with anymore BS.
 
There is undeniably a stigma surrounding Aspergers. I did not get diagnosed until early this year because of it. I was fairly sure I had plenty of its traits for many years but I constantly saw what basically anyone under 30 thought of the syndrome. I am glad the whole thing is being redefined and the old loaded term being thrown away, but there's definitely still lots of public education needed.

What I dislike the most is how hung up people get on the empathy thing, like this is the single most defining aspect. I'm not really buying it. When I got my own diagnosis, they concluded I don't have any particular difficulties empathising with others. Diagnosed people are going to be just as diverse as anyone else, and sociopathic tendencies is just as common among "neurotypical" people. They're just more skilled at hiding it.

That's good to hear. I get this all the time yet I have a lot of empathy. I guess I just don't show it.

Is there any literature that could help me cope with some of my difficulties? I'm particularly bad at planning/organizing and showing empathy (because of monotonous voice, little use of non-verbal language, not knowing how to react to certain things people say). Especially the last bit has me worried because I'm about to graduate in a profession that demands a lot of social skills and building a trust relationship with people.
 
Busy day! Actually I'm glad to hear that colleges are doing this now. The idea of orientation isn't anything new but knowing they do one geared toward students with autism I think is really great. I hope this becomes more universal in years to come.

Indeed, it was a rather good idea. The 'proper' orientation week occured last week, from the first of September to the fifth of September, but there was a "HEAR" orientation for students who are from a disadvantaged background, to compete for reduced points places if they fall below the accepted level, on the twenty-fifth to the twenty-ninth, and the "DARE" orientation for students with a disability, to compete for reduced points places if they fall below the accepted level, the twenty-fifth to the twenty-seventh, while the Autism Spectrum Orientation (despite everybody having applied through DARE, they decided to form a separate, smaller group for individuals with autism to be more accommodating) was strictly the twenty-seventh and only briefly interacted with the 'proper' DARE orientation (we did do less, given that we only had a day of couse, compared to the other DARE candidates though) in the day. Regardless of whether or not you needed to avail of the reduced points place (two others and I in the Autism Welcome Day didn't, the others did) by applying for the DARE scheme you were allowed attend. I would very much doubt an additional orientation geared primarily towards individuals with autism will/could become universal but I would certainly be in favour of it.

I mean its not just limited to sitcoms but from the top of my head I can just ramble some random tv shows.

Big Bang Theory, Derek, Community, House, Sherlock, Glee, South Park, The Middle, Silicon Valley, Bobs Burgers etc.

I know it's pedantic, but in absolutely no way should House give anybody the impression that it was, in some way, mocking Autism/Asperger's given that Autism was directly addressed in "Lines in the Sand" (which I think is season three episode four) where it is unequivocally stated that House does not have Asperger's Syndrome (Wilson argues that he may have it to Cuddy, who herself argues he doesn't, but Wilson himself directly states later to House that he absolutely doesn't, and he envies those with autism/wishes he had it). EDIT: Found it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=KHEEGDtxhpA#t=2258
 
I know it's pedantic, but in absolutely no way should House give anybody the impression that it was, in some way, mocking Autism/Asperger's given that Autism was directly addressed in "Lines in the Sand" (which I think is season three episode four) where it is unequivocally stated that House does not have Asperger's Syndrome (Wilson argues that he may have it to Cuddy, who herself argues he doesn't, but Wilson himself directly states later to House that he absolutely doesn't, and he envies those with autism/wishes he had it). EDIT: Found it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=KHEEGDtxhpA#t=2258

I did not mean that House would have Aspergers or that it was mocked, I just remember the team discussing House possibly having it since he is "quirky" which seems to be a trope atm in TV.
 
I did not mean that House would have Aspergers or that it was mocked, I just remember the team discussing House possibly having it since he is "quirky" which seems to be a trope atm in TV.

Oh I see, apologies for misinterpretting.

Anyway, I visited the college "Disabilitiy Access Centre" last Tuesday ( I forgot to post it in the previous post) and to say they were accommodating is an understatement. An excerpt of the "Certificate of Registration" and the accommodations received are:
OraIm6S.png


The "Asperger's Syndrome Awareness" simply means that the lecturer and staff are aware of the reason for my registration with the Access Centre (I opted to avail of this so it wasn't misinterpretted as something like dylsexia, narcolepsy, or another condition). The "Provide Lecture Notes" means I get the lectures' notes regarding the lecture, any slides presented (regardless of whether or not they're placed on "Blackboard"), any additional sheets used by the lecturer, and avail of additional, supplementary notes pertaining to the lecture. The "Alternate Exam Location" allows me to take my examinations, end of semester and otherwise, in an alternative location (obviously) free of distration. The "Extra Time" is kind of obvious, but some lecturers have, rather than searching for an additional room to house me in during in-class exams (because the extra time would make my exams run-into the next lectures) and additional time, allowed me to simply multiply the percentage I receive by 7/6 instead (i.e. if I should have received 80% in an exam, I get 93% because I didn't get the extra time),

The "Use of Recording Device" however, is the big one. They gave me an "8GB Livescribe Pen" (I've already lost the cap to my shame because there's no way to store it on the pen when in use and I resorted, stupidly, to leaving it on the table or leaving it in my pocket and misplaced it somewhere [I can't remember where, I know it's in the residence I'm in, in the courtyard, or in the nearby Centra somewhere but it's so small I doubt I'll find it]), For those unfamiliar with what this is, to put it simply, it's a pen that records the lecture as you're writing, and uses special "dot" paper. When the lecture is over, you can click anywhere on the page where you wrote something down, and the recording jumps to whatever the lecturer was saying at that time. You can also bookmark certain parts of the recording, play it in the entirety, jump to places on the recording, use a translation facility (you need to pay extra for this per language though I think; I only have a demonstration facility on the pen currently), and has an instrument list (you draw a piano with by making nine verticle lines, connect them at the the top and bottom, draw an "i" for your instrument and "r" to make it play a rhythm/beat, and then touch the key you want to play on the piano you drew to make a note). Overall, while I wouldn't ever pay the €200 cost, or buy the extremely expensive paper, myself without acquiring a lot of savings, it is a very nifty gadget and something I am very much enjoying. Also, you can synchronise everything to the desktop application, meaning it uploads every page and piece of audio.

EDIT: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZQTM5DHbSw <- Demonstration here.

EDIT 2: Oh my god I found the cap I put it in my wallet.
 
I was diagnosed with high functioning AS around the time I went into 2nd grade(I am 25 now). My parents and grandparents had a hell of a time dealing with things over the course of me going to therapy/psych almost on a weekly basis, that and in the middle of 4th grade my mom was diagnosed with cancer which made things even harder on them. Even after my mom passed away at the end of 7th grade, my dad has always been here even if he makes bad decisions from time to time.

For years I was always treated as an outcast among kids in my schools due to them all questioning why I went to a different class than them until 8th grade, some of them I know questioned their parents about things and they were told there was something wrong with me, which lead to years of bullying because they never cared to understand me. I always had a small group of friends that I hung out with and nothing more than that(and have been quick to pick new friends when I let go of others) unlike my sister who wanted to be friends with everyone. My grades were always on the average side of things with some being below average due to some of my teachers not caring to understand that I needed more time than others on the same subjects(I've never been good at advanced math or learning a new language but have excelled in most other subjects). Yet even without knowing what was wrong with me, I somehow felt the need to make a "mask" for myself so that I could at least attempt to fit in with everyone around me. As futile as it felt at times, without it I feel as if I wouldn't be where I am today.

It wasn't till only earlier this year that I actually found out that I had it though. Ever since I started therapy I always thought that I was just doing things wrong and that there wasn't anything wrong with what went through my mind. It wasn't till I found out about a friend I liked during high school(and found out she was taken and started a family, also fairly certain she had it too) that I really started to question why I was so different than everyone else(this also got to replay To the Moon for some reason and that's when it hit me on that 2nd playthrough). I always thought that I went through everything I did because of what my cousin did to myself and my sister or that it was because of nearby neighborhood "friends" I had that I found out quickly were not a very good influence on me. To find out though after getting to a certain point in the game that I had it and why I have done so many of the things I have in my life, it felt like everything that had been on my mind for years had just come rushing forward and pointed to that very reason.

I've played games since I was 7 and never wondered why I played as much as I did or why I set some of the goals I have within certain games, it's an obsession for me, it's always been my thing and I never questioned why I could not get away from them, or why I feel terrible after going so long without them. It was a game(WoW) and that obsession that was the main driving factor behind why I stopped talking to my high school friends after school ended, why I didn't want to do much with the few friends I still did talk to, why I never went to college with everyone when I had plans for it throughout high school.

I've also never had any kind of real job other than working with my dad, helping him with his self employed jobs he needs help with. I've just never felt the urge to go out and find work for myself and actually get somewhere, it's the same thing with driving, I've had my license for years and yet it's almost like a fear that keeps me from wanting to get behind the wheel even though my dad got me a car during high school that I just never wanted to do anything with. It feels as though I just do not feel the need to do things for myself, yet multiple times in the past few years there have been times where I have other reasons that act as that driving force and push me to do more.

Since that first week of finding out, I haven't really looked into things much more. It feels like knowing everything now is making me want to do less almost. There are times where I have quite a few things I'd like to do and yet all I do is sit there all day looking around online at random things. It feels like the longer I sit here doing nothing, the less I will care about doing anything. Without a driving force that isn't myself, I just do not feel like many things are worth doing.

With all that said though, I do not look at what I have as a "curse". I have always felt like someday I will make everything I have gone through worth it, that I have a reason to get up everyday and try. Even with depression and feeling lonely as shit some days, I have never felt like things weren't worth at least trying to attempt. It's just getting to a point where I want to do more than I have been doing, that I feel like all the pieces will just fall in line once I take that first step.

My advice to anyone that knows someone with AS(whether they are family or friends) is to not give up on them no matter how bad things may look. They may get bullied throughout their school life, they may have teachers/adults that treat them with disrespect, they may even go their entire lives without knowing what a relationship is and what it feels like to have a purpose beyond themselves to do things. Do not give up on them no matter what, because the moment you do is the moment they give up on the world and want nothing more than to shut themselves out of everything. Also do not treat them as some kind of "lesser" person because they do things differently than everyone else, in your mind you may think it's fine to protect them or treat them differently, but in their(and my own) minds they could very well want to be treated like everyone else, they may just not want to show that or tell you.
 
Love is acceptance. People have to accept things as they see them, the important thing is just not to get distracted.

Relax, let go, and just know that there's nothing wrong with the way you see your world. Do not adjust your tv sets, just accept that there's weird things and good things and don't have a cow over all that jazz and end up feeling bad enough to hurt anyone or yourself.

I don't know who is going to tell you what you're seeing is right or not, I've always believed that's up to us anyway whether we're "normal" or "autistic".

Just don't suffer for what you see, enjoy it as it is maybe?

Anyway, I don't know anything about autism, I just thought that this was some good advice a gardener once shared. I don't know if it can actually help someone with autism, but I think it might and hey, it doesn't involve medication, so that's worth trying, right?

Can be done alongside your usual medication as well, perhaps? Again, I'm no doctor, just thought it might help. If there are any doctors here who think there might be a problem with that attitude, please advise! Or, mods, if you think it's risky, just please delete my post. Thanks & Cheers!
 
OK, I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive to those who are actually diagnosed with Autism.

I've had a social worker suggest that I might have Asperger's, yet this diagnosis has never come up during previous neuropsychological evaluations. I've been diagnosed with ADHD by a neurologist and several psychiatrists, along with depression and social anxiety (which is mitigated by some klonopin and adderall).

I stopped going to the social worker some time ago because he seemed full of himself and more importantly, his therapy was ineffective (he had no idea what CBT is which to me was pretty alarming). I kept thinking about his Asperger's suggestion and it just bummed me out at the idea that socially I may be coming across socially impaired or something. It still bugs me and plays into fears I have associated with my social anxiety like worrying how I come across or what people think of me.

I mentioned what the social worker said to a neurologist, psychiatrist, and a therapist. They actually all laughed at the idea and were really reassuring that I am definitely not on the spectrum. My sister who is an Autism specialist had the same reaction. I have social anxiety but I believe rationally, based on what others have said and my own life experience, that it's not noticeable and I'm often very engaging socially--funny, charming, and all that. However, it feels like depression robs me of this at times and at its worst I isolate myself. It's been a few years since I felt like myself. I'm not stroking my ego here or trying to validate myself as a "neurotypical" person. I genuinely worry over what that social worker said and here I am looking for some kind of reassurance?
 
My advice to anyone that knows someone with AS(whether they are family or friends) is to not give up on them no matter how bad things may look. They may get bullied throughout their school life, they may have teachers/adults that treat them with disrespect, they may even go their entire lives without knowing what a relationship is and what it feels like to have a purpose beyond themselves to do things. Do not give up on them no matter what, because the moment you do is the moment they give up on the world and want nothing more than to shut themselves out of everything. Also do not treat them as some kind of "lesser" person because they do things differently than everyone else, in your mind you may think it's fine to protect them or treat them differently, but in their(and my own) minds they could very well want to be treated like everyone else, they may just not want to show that or tell you.

Very good advice here. It's funny, because my son is only four years old and I'm already having difficult thoughts about the future bullying he will likely face. It's ridiculous for me to get mad at kids we've never met for something they might do in the future, but that's a very real fear for me. I love my boy unconditionally and go out of my way every day to try and learn more about his world, but I realize that most people won't take the time when it's easier to ignore or point and laugh.

We're doing everything we know to do with him now, but as he gets older the differences between him and his peers magnify. He doesn't realize that yet as far as I can tell, and he is one of the most genuinely happy kids I know. We won't be able to shelter him forever but sometimes I wish we could. It's a strange thing to want your kid to become a fulfilled and self-sufficient adult, while wanted to guard them from the nastiness of the world.
 
Very good advice here. It's funny, because my son is only four years old and I'm already having difficult thoughts about the future bullying he will likely face. It's ridiculous for me to get mad at kids we've never met for something they might do in the future, but that's a very real fear for me. I love my boy unconditionally and go out of my way every day to try and learn more about his world, but I realize that most people won't take the time when it's easier to ignore or point and laugh.

We're doing everything we know to do with him now, but as he gets older the differences between him and his peers magnify. He doesn't realize that yet as far as I can tell, and he is one of the most genuinely happy kids I know. We won't be able to shelter him forever but sometimes I wish we could. It's a strange thing to want your kid to become a fulfilled and self-sufficient adult, while wanted to guard them from the nastiness of the world.

I get mad those same imaginary kids too.
I sometimes dwell on it too much. I also dwell on how my son is going to handle life as an adult. I'm scared as shit, to be honest. I want him to be independent and take care of himself. But I just feel like he will never want to leave the house.
 
I get mad those same imaginary kids too.
I sometimes dwell on it too much. I also dwell on how my son is going to handle life as an adult. I'm scared as shit, to be honest. I want him to be independent and take care of himself. But I just feel like he will never want to leave the house.

That will honestly be the hardest thing about him growing up, especially if kids in school don't treat him well and he feels like the only way to handle it is to close himself off from everyone. The longer anything like that happens due to issues at school, the greater the chance that he may think that the world itself is like that and that there are few worth trusting when it comes to progressing his life. It's a hard thing to act on though especially if it's been going on for a while or if he doesn't want to open up about it, because you making an action could easily make things worse than what you believe. I've known people in my life that seemed to gain a strong hatred of me and get others to feel the same, just because my parents wanted to get involved when they believed something was going on with me. The worst thing is when kids start questioning their parents as to why someone seems to be different than them, and their parents("thinking they know the issue") try and feed their kids lies as to why so and so is different and that they should be treated as some kind of outcast because of something they had no control over being born with(I've known kids who's parents were like this, even been told by some when they were older why they hated me as a kid).

I can tell you though that there will be a great many things he will not wish to talk about, or even things that he may not know how to explain to anyone who doesn't understand exactly what goes through his mind. I've been there(and have been attempting to make progress on that myself), the hardest thing for me is to be willing to tell friends/family what is going through my mind and what I feel like I need to do to change that.

There may be a lot of times where you may ask what's wrong(when there is obviously a problem) and yet he may shrug it off or tell you it's nothing because he doesn't want you to worry, yet in his mind he may be doing nothing but questioning to himself how he can make things better. There will be times where he just seems to be off in his own world or even where he doesn't show "normal" emotions about something serious and you may think he doesn't care, yet to him he may fully understand the situation and just has his own way of showing it(I can tell you this could very well carry over as an adult too).

The best thing I could say is to not push him too much to try and tell you everything going on, pushing too much could lead to him wanting to shut down if he doesn't feel comfortable with everything you or other adults/kids are asking. It has to be a gradual thing if you want him to open up, don't try throwing everything on him at once.
 
Pellegri
My son is only 1 year behind his brother in school. Will that help with navigating social norms?

Having someone there to back him up would go a long way as to how he does in school(would assume they go to the same school). Can say shyness could still very much be an issue even when both of them are doing things together but having each other there if something happens to 1 would make things easier to understand or to help give that extra push to try something that he may not otherwise want to do.

Now that is saying that they get along with each other at least at home. I was one year ahead of my sister(she doesn't have what I have) and we didn't quite get along with each other at home, which lead to us pretty much ignoring each other at school and having widely different people we hung out with. Had we gotten along with each other then I have no doubt things would be drastically different for me today. My sister was part of the "in" crowd and I was more of the outcast with friends I had known since middle school, that fear of groups and getting to know people could very likely be gone had my sister and I gotten along.
 
I get mad those same imaginary kids too.
I sometimes dwell on it too much. I also dwell on how my son is going to handle life as an adult. I'm scared as shit, to be honest. I want him to be independent and take care of himself. But I just feel like he will never want to leave the house.

My son is 3 and yesterday I had a kid a few years older comment on how he's "weird" at the playground.

Had to contain my anger there for a while.
 
My son is 3 and yesterday I had a kid a few years older comment on how he's "weird" at the playground.

Had to contain my anger there for a while.

I know that feeling.

The feeling of anger when people make fun of you because you're "different".

I still have panic attacks, and since I am a tall person {close to 6'5} I tend to scare people and it's the worst feeling when all you want to do is show others kindness and they just think of you as a freak.

I am not a freak.

However, this hasn't deterred me from trying to be a good person. I have to be strong of heart. If I don't have this then what am I? The freak that some think I am.
 
My son is 3 and yesterday I had a kid a few years older comment on how he's "weird" at the playground.

Had to contain my anger there for a while.
No offense, but get used to swallowing that anger. I really hope that one day the word 'retarded' gets the same type of revolution that other offensive terms have.
 
Yesterday, one of my son's cousins asked why he doesn't talk as much, acts differently, and gets upset when he is overwhelmed. I tried to explain it to him in a very polite and empowering way. I said, "You know how certain superheroes have different skills than others? Like how Superman has very powerful sight and hearing? Well, my son is like that. He sees and hears things better than you and I do, and sometimes that gets to be too strong for him and he needs a break."

As kids get older, they always find a way to tease and ridicule, but you have to go out of your way to help them understand in a positive way. The cousin was commenting on how cool my boy is with his "super powers."
 
No offense, but get used to swallowing that anger. I really hope that one day the word 'retarded' gets the same type of revolution that other offensive terms have.

Also: don't sweat the small stuff.

Some kid calling my kid weird? Yeah, it hurts, but at 5 years of age, it's far less harmful or intentional than someone in the seventh grade spitting in his food.

Just remember to reinforce that he isn't weird, but most importantly, learn to read if he actually cares about that stuff.

The bottom line is not to become That Parent.

I know far too many of those.

I have to be strong of heart. If I don't have this then what am I? The freak that some think I am.

I don't understand this. Why would this make you a freak?
 
im autistic so i can tell you he will prob grow out of it
i use to be antisocial
not anymore

point is autism doesnt automatically mean retarded
my existence is proof of this
 
im autistic so i can tell you he will prob grow out of it
i use to be antisocial
not anymore

I'd say it's widely dependent on how the person grows up as to whether or not they will grow out of being anti social. Having friends or family there with them, that are willing to understand that persons strengths and weaknesses and slowly push them towards losing said trait, makes it so much easier than being older and just finding out why you've always been anti social.

Understanding what autism is and the various forms of it, goes a long way as to helping a person with it. Going through school(like myself) without knowing exactly why I was going through everything I was, not being able to talk to my friends about it due to thinking there was nothing wrong with me, and wanting to hide what certain kids in school did to me from my parents, didn't exactly make things easy for me. Had I known why I was going through everything then it would have been much easier for me to talk to someone I trusted and attempt to break certain fears I had. Problem was when I was going through everything during elementary school and the first 2 years of middle school, my mom was fighting for her life due to cancer, I didn't want to put my issues on my parents because they were having enough trouble as is.

Now I'm at the age where talking to someone about things is like pulling teeth, I don't want people to see me differently when I tell them about it and it's hard for me to ask someone to help with something they may not understand, when I myself don't fully understand everything about it.
 
Breaking a routine. I Know my son becomes a different kid when I throw off his routine. I also know that the routine is comforting since it reduces the amount of surprises in his life.

Autism-GAF, will this ever change for him? What can I do to help him build the tools he will need to overcome this issue?

Thanks
 
I don't understand this. Why would this make you a freak?

dunno really


Breaking a routine. I Know my son becomes a different kid when I throw off his routine. I also know that the routine is comforting since it reduces the amount of surprises in his life.

Autism-GAF, will this ever change for him? What can I do to help him build the tools he will need to overcome this issue?

Thanks


Maybe. I have a daily routine, and I used to hate when things were changed, it freaked the fuck out of me. now i'm a lot more flexible though I still prefer knowing what will happen in advance.

as for helping him overcome the issue, i really don't know what to say as everyone with autism works differently.
 
No offense, but get used to swallowing that anger. I really hope that one day the word 'retarded' gets the same type of revolution that other offensive terms have.

I'm not sure if this will make you feel any better, but the DSM-V now calls mental retardation "intellectual disability," so the former term might be more likely to recede from popular speech as a result.
 
If you guys don't mind, I'd like to ask for some advice.

On Monday, after working in retail management for around seven years, I will be starting my training for my brand new job working for the local Disabilities and Special Needs department. My position will be an on site job coach and mentor at a local distribution center for a national retail store chain where I will work primarily with individuals with autism, Asperger syndrome, and other such conditions. I will have my own training/classroom/office where I will have various things at my disposal to train, teach, and to help them in their work overall.

While I am very eager and excited to get started, as well as confident in my abilities to have great success at this job, I would still like to get your advice on the entire thing. Do you have any advice, tips, or words of encouragement to offer me as I dive head first into this line of work? I'm not even sure what I'm asking for exactly, but I wanted to toss this out there just to see what some of you would have to offer me. Thanks in advance for any replies.
 
If you guys don't mind, I'd like to ask for some advice.

On Monday, after working in retail management for around seven years, I will be starting my training for my brand new job working for the local Disabilities and Special Needs department. My position will be an on site job coach and mentor at a local distribution center for a national retail store chain where I will work primarily with individuals with autism, Asperger syndrome, and other such conditions. I will have my own training/classroom/office where I will have various things at my disposal to train, teach, and to help them in their work overall.

While I am very eager and excited to get started, as well as confident in my abilities to have great success at this job, I would still like to get your advice on the entire thing. Do you have any advice, tips, or words of encouragement to offer me as I dive head first into this line of work? I'm not even sure what I'm asking for exactly, but I wanted to toss this out there just to see what some of you would have to offer me. Thanks in advance for any replies.
Not saying you would, but please don't talk down to them or treat them as if they're beneath you. I had someone talk to my 10 year old as if he were a fucking dog.

One of the things that infuriates me is when someone talks to my kids through me. My kids aren't subhuman and believe it or not they can answer properly framed questions.

Sigh, sorry.
 
Not saying you would, but please don't talk down to them or treat them as if they're beneath you. I had someone talk to my 10 year old as if he were a fucking dog.

One of the things that infuriates me is when someone talks to my kids through me. My kids aren't subhuman and believe it or not they can answer properly framed questions.

Sigh, sorry.

This.

and

I was told by this horrible person who was in charge of.....special....classes who made my life a living hell in Highschool that I would never make it in college.

I now mostly make A's and B's. College is possible for people with this disorder.
 
Not saying you would, but please don't talk down to them or treat them as if they're beneath you. I had someone talk to my 10 year old as if he were a fucking dog.

One of the things that infuriates me is when someone talks to my kids through me. My kids aren't subhuman and believe it or not they can answer properly framed questions.

Sigh, sorry.


Oh absolutely not. I wouldn't even think of doing such a thing in a million years. Where I am going, all workers are treated 100% the same on a complete and total level playing field. They have an incredibly strict policy concerning this as well. So it's not just me who would never do such a thing, but the company overall also wouldn't tolerate any such thing from anyone working on the grounds.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that with your son. That's disgusting, and it angers me a great deal as well.

Our goal is a 100% success rate for those that I'll be working with. Part of my job will be going into the community and into homes doing evaluations before sending them to the job site for the proper training. Once they are through that process, they strive for each and every one of them to ultimately work out.
 
I once tried to get some advice in here but got nothing so once more as I have nothing else.
What do I do when everyone dislikes me and ostracizes me in this small, affluent town off northampton,ma?
I have never received services as I don't know where to turn but I think I need help as I've. been self harming to cope.
My therapist seems to shy away from helping me in getting an updated diagnosis.
I stayed at Mclean hospital in Boston for two weeks and they didn't diagnose me as they said it would require time.
I catch myself displaying autistic tendencies like annoying repetition of words and disliking small talk.
My mental state has rapidly deteriorated as of late as my increased social isolation has returned me to an almost juvenile state when interacting with the world.
I cry all the time when I can't communicate as I use to be one of the most articulate students at school and was never criticized for mumbling, but my gullibility has led to a plethora of failed relationships and now I'm really trepidatious when it comes to saying anything.

I wrote a book detailing my viewpoints in a fictional light; I don't see anything coming of it, it's perhaps too autistic in its naive handling of intricate emotions.
I had hope to write something when I was young...
Now for the last 8 years I've just been a dishwasher and I'm really tired. People ask what will make me happy and I don't know anymore.
I feel like Osamu Dezai when he wrote No Longer Human and the Idiot in Dostoyevsky;I don't belong anywhere.
I'm not cruel, I want to be kind, so I feel like I'm hurting people with my sadness and I'm hurting too much, so I think I should die.
I'm always crying;I wish I didn't need help.
 
I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome a few different times when in high school along with several learning disabilities when I was younger.

After having lived and learned to accept my flaws I will say that I feel like Austism is to an extent a lie and I have learned to not let it limit me, especially socially like it does for many. I would even go as far to say that I feel like I have an advantage over many due to being slightly autistic.

I call it a lie because I feel like it is painted like an issue that is caused from within by the person that is diagnosed with it rather than a society that isn't flexible, has slowly moved towards a toxic sense of individualism and one that doesn't openly accommodate people who function differently.

The most I learned how to deal with the issues Autism has had on me is also by using the advantages it gives me. Being able to hyper focus and analyze situations and use the ability to create in abundance. People that meet me never guess that I have Asperger Syndrome.

Autism is a lie because it becomes a problem by how we expect people to be in society and how we expect it to be treated.

Look at the photos of autistic kids sorting times in lines and by size and color while normal children have yet to even begin paying attention to detail.

Most people with autism are thinking on a tremendously high level and are highly intelligent .
 
I once tried to get some advice in here but got nothing so once more as I have nothing else.
What do I do when everyone dislikes me and ostracizes me in this small, affluent town off northampton,ma?
I have never received services as I don't know where to turn but I think I need help as I've. been self harming to cope.
My therapist seems to shy away from helping me in getting an updated diagnosis.
I stayed at Mclean hospital in Boston for two weeks and they didn't diagnose me as they said it would require time.
I catch myself displaying autistic tendencies like annoying repetition of words and disliking small talk.
My mental state has rapidly deteriorated as of late as my increased social isolation has returned me to an almost juvenile state when interacting with the world.
I cry all the time when I can't communicate as I use to be one of the most articulate students at school and was never criticized for mumbling, but my gullibility has led to a plethora of failed relationships and now I'm really trepidatious when it comes to saying anything.

I wrote a book detailing my viewpoints in a fictional light; I don't see anything coming of it, it's perhaps too autistic in its naive handling of intricate emotions.
I had hope to write something when I was young...
Now for the last 8 years I've just been a dishwasher and I'm really tired. People ask what will make me happy and I don't know anymore.
I feel like Osamu Dezai when he wrote No Longer Human and the Idiot in Dostoyevsky;I don't belong anywhere.
I'm not cruel, I want to be kind, so I feel like I'm hurting people with my sadness and I'm hurting too much, so I think I should die.
I'm always crying;I wish I didn't need help.
Sorry to hear that. it sounds like you need a support group. When I feel shitty, depressed, or just angry I have to talk it out, even if no one is there. Also running helps me clear my head.
 
I once tried to get some advice in here but got nothing so once more as I have nothing else.
What do I do when everyone dislikes me and ostracizes me in this small, affluent town off northampton,ma?
I have never received services as I don't know where to turn but I think I need help as I've. been self harming to cope.
My therapist seems to shy away from helping me in getting an updated diagnosis.
I stayed at Mclean hospital in Boston for two weeks and they didn't diagnose me as they said it would require time.
I catch myself displaying autistic tendencies like annoying repetition of words and disliking small talk.
My mental state has rapidly deteriorated as of late as my increased social isolation has returned me to an almost juvenile state when interacting with the world.
I cry all the time when I can't communicate as I use to be one of the most articulate students at school and was never criticized for mumbling, but my gullibility has led to a plethora of failed relationships and now I'm really trepidatious when it comes to saying anything.

I wrote a book detailing my viewpoints in a fictional light; I don't see anything coming of it, it's perhaps too autistic in its naive handling of intricate emotions.
I had hope to write something when I was young...
Now for the last 8 years I've just been a dishwasher and I'm really tired. People ask what will make me happy and I don't know anymore.
I feel like Osamu Dezai when he wrote No Longer Human and the Idiot in Dostoyevsky;I don't belong anywhere.
I'm not cruel, I want to be kind, so I feel like I'm hurting people with my sadness and I'm hurting too much, so I think I should die.
I'm always crying;I wish I didn't need help.
You should print this out and hand it to your therapist. If they don't help you find another one.
 
I once tried to get some advice in here but got nothing so once more as I have nothing else.
What do I do when everyone dislikes me and ostracizes me in this small, affluent town off northampton,ma?
I have never received services as I don't know where to turn but I think I need help as I've. been self harming to cope.
My therapist seems to shy away from helping me in getting an updated diagnosis.
I stayed at Mclean hospital in Boston for two weeks and they didn't diagnose me as they said it would require time.
I catch myself displaying autistic tendencies like annoying repetition of words and disliking small talk.
My mental state has rapidly deteriorated as of late as my increased social isolation has returned me to an almost juvenile state when interacting with the world.
I cry all the time when I can't communicate as I use to be one of the most articulate students at school and was never criticized for mumbling, but my gullibility has led to a plethora of failed relationships and now I'm really trepidatious when it comes to saying anything.

I wrote a book detailing my viewpoints in a fictional light; I don't see anything coming of it, it's perhaps too autistic in its naive handling of intricate emotions.
I had hope to write something when I was young...
Now for the last 8 years I've just been a dishwasher and I'm really tired. People ask what will make me happy and I don't know anymore.
I feel like Osamu Dezai when he wrote No Longer Human and the Idiot in Dostoyevsky;I don't belong anywhere.
I'm not cruel, I want to be kind, so I feel like I'm hurting people with my sadness and I'm hurting too much, so I think I should die.
I'm always crying;I wish I didn't need help.

you seem like you're an excellent writer and highly intelligent. Don't give up just because "normal" bland programmed people don't know how to think outside the box and interact with people different than them.

I think you should continue to journal and write since you seem to enjoy it.

On top of that try to connect with other writers in your area or even consider relocating to an area where maybe you will meet more people like yourself (like a city)
 
After waiting forever I'm finally getting some job training to find a job I might not suck at on Tuesday. They're probably still confused from the tests they gave me.
 
I just read the new hypothesis from MIT on autism.
https://newsoffice.mit.edu/2014/autism-disorder-prediction-anxiety-1007

Autism as a disorder of prediction
Researchers suggest autism stems from a reduced ability to make predictions, leading to anxiety.

The researchers suggest that autism may be rooted in an impaired ability to predict events and other people’s actions. From the perspective of the autistic child, the world appears to be a “magical” rather than an orderly place, because events seem to occur randomly and unpredictably. In this view, autism symptoms such as repetitive behavior, and an insistence on a highly structured environment, are coping strategies to help deal with this unpredictable world.

What do you guys with autism think about this? It kind of makes sense to me.
 
The weekend before last, we took our autistic almost-4-year-old to Disneyland. We were really concerned about how he would handle it but we figured it would be good practice for him, especially somewhere that's not a store that we visit weekly. It turned out that he handled it like a PRO. He was awesome. We got the disability access pass but we only used it the first time and after that we decided to stick to lines that were 30 minutes or less and he didn't fuss once, thanks to all the stuff to see and talk about. He only raised his voice maybe once and calmed down almost instantly. Even leaving the park was pretty easy, because he would either be asleep or unfamiliar with the layout of the park so he didn't know that we were doing until we reached our car. He was even good on the eight hour car ride each way. Couldn't be prouder of him.

As some kind of karmic retribution, however, over the last few days he was in a horrible mood. He was tired and cranky all weekend long despite getting 10-11 hours of sleep each night AND a nap on Friday and Saturday. He was getting mad at his favorite movie for basically advancing to the next scene instead of lingering on his favorite parts. Basically just overreacting to almost everything. And worst of all, he started hitting and headbutting me again. He hadn't done that in at least a month or two (he used to do it every time he was upset).

What made me personally feel worse was that while he was cranky/upset to both my wife and I, he only hit/headbutt me. Over the last few weeks he has been pretty much 100% all about my wife (his mommy). When I get home from work there's an hour before my wife gets home, and every day during that hour my son keeps saying "I want mommy back" about a dozen times, and he has been constantly asking to hug and kiss her and cuddle with her. I know that little boys go through this so it was cute at first but once he started physically hurting me, I just felt awful.

Anyway, I just wanted to rant about the good and the bad that's been going on with him lately.
 
We're in the middle of a two-week, pre-birthday, "losing his shit".

The two weeks leading up to anything he's excited about, like his birthday, Christmas, or any major event like a comic convention, are near-constant agitation.

He doesn't handle anticipation well.

Wish me luck to get through this.

(He's turning 19.)
 
Most people with autism are thinking on a tremendously high level and are highly intelligent .

my brother is autistic and is about 17. he rolls through books like its no ones business and is super into history and different cultures and is way smarter than me. compared to him im a fucking moron.
 
Did my disability hearing. Story for another time as I have early therapy tomorrow and need to conserve as much energy as possible for Halloween Week at the store. Thankfully, this year, I got a store that was not too big but not too small. Was afraid this Spirit would be fuckin' huge.

Anyhow. Verdict won't be in until January.

But I have to deal with my mom "reassuring" me and talking about how she hates it when people "focus on your negatives instead of your positives". I'm all, first, calling them negatives is super fucking offensive; second, they are my doctors and lawyers. What the fuck else are they supposed to talk about?

I also read the 90-page UCLA re-evaluation which my mom said they "laid on thick to make you seem as dumb as possible". It was nothing. It was literally just my difficulties from birth to now.

She gets upset when I make jokes about myself. When I called my last therapy group "Breakfast Club of the Damned", she nearly broke in the middle of the street. She turned to me and literally said "I don't know who the fuck you are, but nobody talks about my son that way".

I do not understand this woman. She's a good person. She's strong. But a lot of the crap she reads about is just skimming the surface type stuff. She'll say "he sees the world differently" and the next minute, she'll refuse to believe I'm a good person because "why would a good person not know what they did was wrong?".

I just read the new hypothesis from MIT on autism.
https://newsoffice.mit.edu/2014/autism-disorder-prediction-anxiety-1007

What do you guys with autism think about this? It kind of makes sense to me.

Eh, it sounds like it wants to be technical but not be "too smart" about it.
 
I just read the new hypothesis from MIT on autism.
https://newsoffice.mit.edu/2014/autism-disorder-prediction-anxiety-1007



What do you guys with autism think about this? It kind of makes sense to me.

That info is not really that new (at least to me anyways). I've always struggled with making my own decisions which is why as often as possible I have someone else do them for me. When I was younger I was very susceptible to peer pressure. It wasn't until I was about 14 where all frustration of caving in to what people wanted hit me and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I started refusing to listen to anyone or bend under their wants and needs. That's also around when the depression started kicking in which is something I've always wanted to study how it interacts with autistic people compared to normal people but I've never gotten around to it.
 
I didn't know there was a thread for this. I have a 2 year old that was diagnosed in June. While my wife was visiting home for her grandmother's funeral in Florida, her aunt came to her and told her to get him checked for autism due to not really having eye contact, not being able to speak even a few words, not looking when his name called, etc.

So after she came back to Oklahoma we tried to set some appointments but unfortunately but it was backed up to about October this year and even to February of next year. So of course not being able to force specialists to see our child we had to wait. During this time we were having alot of trouble with my wife's mom and aunt. Her aunt kept thinking that we were worried about money and trying to deny that there could be something wrong with our child which wasn't the case. Then her mom, who has not done shit for any of her children thought she would try to act like mother of the year and hound my wife about being seen by a doctor. Her mom then had the nerve to call my wife negligent because we couldn't force a doctor to see our child. She then brought up my name trying to smear me through the mud because I had recently at that time bought a ps4. Her mom tried to make it seem like I was putting a ps4 over my own child. Money was never the issue because we have very good health insurance and it would cover most of the appointments anyway. The issue was that all the doctors were backed up until 2015, but somehow they couldn't understand that.
Luckily one of the appointments the doctor had was cancelled and we were able to jump into that spot in June. When the doctor was doing the tests for autism she was explaining why she was doing each test and what she was looking for in his interactions with the various tests. Going through that test and actually watching my son and having a better understanding of what was supposed to be the typical reactions and the difference with my son's actual reactions was kind of heartbreaking. When the tests were completed and after a week passed we were given the diagnosis and he was revealed to have autism. Luckily the doctor said it was on the higher functioning side of the spectrum but regardless that news hit us hard. So after she gave out the handouts for who to call and services that could help us when we were in the car and my wife started crying and I wanted to cry too but I tried to remain strong and comfort my wife and told her everything would be alright.

When we got home we started calling services and getting information. Right now we have a speech therapist that comes once a week and helps him out. We also recieve social security for my son as well. When the services first started my wife and I were living in an apartment and our therapist was telling us we had to move due to being in a shitty school district that wouldn't have the proper tools to help my son. My wife and I had been looking for months for places to live in the recommended school districts but we came across of the problem of either the apartments there being way too expensive or had very negative reviews. Just about 2 weeks ago we were able to find a house that didn't cost too much and in a nice neighborhood that was closer to school and work than my last apartment. It also falls into the school district that was recommended to us, he will be going to school on Tinker AFB.

It's been tough this past year since the diagnosis. I think the hardest part is watching older videos just 10 months prior and seeing the change in him. When we looked at the video of his first birthday, he would respond to his name, give eye contact, and not ignore people around him. Now if we call him it just seems like he doesn't hear us or he just ignores us. He has gotten better with eye contact with the therapy but before he would look past us and not at us. We constantly have to worry about what he is doing. We have to get latches for the door because he learned how to unlock and open all of them and he will run outside. He also gets into everything regardless of the consequences and if he gets hurt he will go back and do it again. For instance yesterday the door to the pantry slides, he was opening and closing the door constantly he then smashed his finger started crying and then after calming down he went right back to doing it.
 
I didn't know there was a thread for this. I have a 2 year old that was diagnosed in June. While my wife was visiting home for her grandmother's funeral in Florida, her aunt came to her and told her to get him checked for autism due to not really having eye contact, not being able to speak even a few words, not looking when his name called, etc.
...
Luckily one of the appointments the doctor had was cancelled and we were able to jump into that spot in June. When the doctor was doing the tests for autism she was explaining why she was doing each test and what she was looking for in his interactions with the various tests. Going through that test and actually watching my son and having a better understanding of what was supposed to be the typical reactions and the difference with my son's actual reactions was kind of heartbreaking. When the tests were completed and after a week passed we were given the diagnosis and he was revealed to have autism. Luckily the doctor said it was on the higher functioning side of the spectrum but regardless that news hit us hard. So after she gave out the handouts for who to call and services that could help us when we were in the car and my wife started crying and I wanted to cry too but I tried to remain strong and comfort my wife and told her everything would be alright.

When we got home we started calling services and getting information. Right now we have a speech therapist that comes once a week and helps him out. We also recieve social security for my son as well. When the services first started my wife and I were living in an apartment and our therapist was telling us we had to move due to being in a shitty school district that wouldn't have the proper tools to help my son. My wife and I had been looking for months for places to live in the recommended school districts but we came across of the problem of either the apartments there being way too expensive or had very negative reviews. Just about 2 weeks ago we were able to find a house that didn't cost too much and in a nice neighborhood that was closer to school and work than my last apartment. It also falls into the school district that was recommended to us, he will be going to school on Tinker AFB.

It's been tough this past year since the diagnosis. I think the hardest part is watching older videos just 10 months prior and seeing the change in him. When we looked at the video of his first birthday, he would respond to his name, give eye contact, and not ignore people around him. Now if we call him it just seems like he doesn't hear us or he just ignores us. He has gotten better with eye contact with the therapy but before he would look past us and not at us. We constantly have to worry about what he is doing. We have to get latches for the door because he learned how to unlock and open all of them and he will run outside. He also gets into everything regardless of the consequences and if he gets hurt he will go back and do it again. For instance yesterday the door to the pantry slides, he was opening and closing the door constantly he then smashed his finger started crying and then after calming down he went right back to doing it.

I know what you are/were going through. We were also lucked into getting a cancellation appointment. Speaking of which, set your annual appointment now.

Also, that was a good call by your Aunt. If our preschool teacher would have never said anything about our son, we would have gone on for a long time without noticing the key indicators. Mostly because everyone around us tells us that he doesn't seem to have autism and are constantly telling us we are just looking for issues.

And welcome to the club.
 
It's been tough this past year since the diagnosis. I think the hardest part is watching older videos just 10 months prior and seeing the change in him. When we looked at the video of his first birthday, he would respond to his name, give eye contact, and not ignore people around him. Now if we call him it just seems like he doesn't hear us or he just ignores us. He has gotten better with eye contact with the therapy but before he would look past us and not at us. We constantly have to worry about what he is doing. We have to get latches for the door because he learned how to unlock and open all of them and he will run outside. He also gets into everything regardless of the consequences and if he gets hurt he will go back and do it again. For instance yesterday the door to the pantry slides, he was opening and closing the door constantly he then smashed his finger started crying and then after calming down he went right back to doing it.

First off, welcome to the club. We had a similar situation with delays in our son's diagnosis, but I turned into full daddy bear mode and forced the military to get my son the stuff he needs immediately. It sounds like you guys did the right thing in following up multiple times with the medical folks to get your son squeezed in earlier. You will learn through this process that you and your wife are your son's #1 advocates. Nothing will come easy and nobody will open any doors for you. All the treatment and therapies you secure will require you to pester the living hell out of your pediatrician, your insurance company, and your school district.

We've been told no every single step of the way. My wife and I have become intimately familiar with our legal rights, our insurance coverage, and the services our school district must legally provide our son. As a result, he receives 26 hours a week of combined ABA, early intervention preschool, speech, and occupational therapy. When school is not in session his ABA hours jump up from 12-14 a week to 20 a week. Our insurance coverage tends to not authorize anything the first time, so I have them on speed dial. The last time I spoke with them, the representative said there were more notes associated with my account than she had ever seen. I told her if they would do their job right the first time, there would be zero. Yes, sometimes you have to be a dick with these people.

It sounds like your son has a rarer type of regressive autism, particulalry since you can look back at earlier footage of him and see different behavior. The biggest difference her is your son was showing normal behavior then seemed to regress. That is atypical in the sense that most of us started noticing our kids were showing abnormal social behavior at around one and a half to two years old. Some people will try and tell you regressive autism isn't real, but parents know that is a bullshit line. One of the parents of a ASD kid at my son's therapy center witnessed the same change in her son at 2. He went from talking and looking people in the eyes to showing all the classic signs of autism. That must be terribly heartbreaking to witness, and I feel for you.

My son shows many of the symptoms of high funtioning autism, maybe borderline with what used to be diagnosed as Aspergers. He is vocal with a very large vocabulary, but he doesn't always use pragmatic language. He asks for things he wants and needs, but most of his daily talking comes in the form of repeating canned phrases from books, songs, or TV shows he likes. He has improved ten fold in eye contact, but he still struggles there. He is only recently starting to show interest in the social behavior of his peers...he tends to prefer adult interaction since we are a lot more predictable than other four year olds.

The best advice I can give you is not to worry about where you son is now, but instead focus on how he interacts with various therapies and his rates of progress. If your son isn't receiving any form of ABA yet, I highly recommend looking into it. Oklahoma laws aren't always the most progressive, but lots of states require your insurance policy to cover it. There are several types of ABA, but I find the ones that engage in your child's natural interests in a floortime play approach to be the most effective with our boy. ABA has squelched most of my kid's behavioral problems, helped him understand queues and appropriate responses, and really increased his confidence around otherrs. The premise is to reward positive behavior, ignore and squelch whining and negative behavior, encourage eye contact and verbal/nonverbal communication, and teaching your kid how to play and interact with others. A very common sign of ASD is lack of imaginative play, so a good ABA therapist will teach your kid some basic practical play skills that will help them interact with kids in school.

Speech and OT are crucial, and it sounds like you're already on that wagon. Kids on the spectrum oftentimes struggle with speech, and those who are verbal might have issues with pragmatic/conversational speech. OT helps with sensory issues, as well as fine and gross motor skills. My boy has flourished with help on the fine motor side, but still has a way to go.

Engage your kid in his strengths. Our son is amazingly good at math and reading. He's been reading since he was 16 months old. We use books and words to help him understand the world around him.

There is a growing amount of literature supporting dietary changes aiding many kids on the spectrum. Most doctors take the, "It can't hurt, but we don't have any documented proof of it being effective" approach. Parents who have placed their kids on more restrictive diets and see positive benefits will tell you it has perhaps made the biggest change in their kid's life. The theory is children with ASD may have issues processing and digesting protein peptides from gluten and casseine, which results in digestive issues. frequent upset stomachs and diarrhea, and even measured inflammation in the intestinal track and their brain. In essence, they can't properly digest the protein peptides so they remain in the bloodstream and reach the brain, creating a dopamine like effect. Kids who show these signs have been found to have increased levels of bacteria in their digestive tract, and tend to gravitate almost exclusively towards bread and cheese based meals. Our pediatrician said our son shows signs of celiac disease and possibly a milk allergy, so we've recently started him on a GFCF (gluten free, casseine free) diet. We're already seeing positive signs one week into it.

TL;DR - Welcome! Look into ABA, speech, OT, and any other early intervention stuff you can get. Don't take no for an answer. Focus on strengths, keep a positive outlook. Your kid will probably see significant progress with early intervention. Some parents see remarkable results with dietary changes, but there aren't lots of studies indicating effectiveness.
 
Haha.

Hahaha.

Fucking denied disability.

Fucking circus over here.

Of course, my brother's response is "if she was a good lawyer, she would have won".
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom