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[norinrad21]

Consider this.

You have a girlfriend who loves you, you meet another woman a few months earlier through a friend, you become good friends hangout a lot. You always feel strange around her, you are dying to hold, touch her and do all sorts of things with her and yet you always get reminded of the fact that theres another woman who loves you and is always around when you need her.

The other girl keeps saying she loves you but as a friend, but treats you right, cooks, comes over to clean your place every now and then. She also has a boyfriend[well they are not really together] you have no clue how to deal with these feelings. You try to avoid said friend and yet regardless of trying to avoid her you feel completely empty inside when she's not around. She calls you almost 2-3 a week.

Shutting her off completely would look bad for you and the friend who introduced you.

whats a guy to do?

 

[B'z-chan]

First your dick cant guide you here. So dont follow its commands. I would seriously think that you should talk to your friend openly about the situation and see what she feels. If its ment to be and she understands how you feel it will naturally progress from there. If not then.... i dont know.

 

[maharg]

Your subject asks whether a man can love two women, but I only see you talking like you love one woman in the post. The other, all you say is that she loves you.

 

[norinrad21]

The other woman says she loves me, sure i like her too but not in that way. I enjoy having her around but lately, it just feels weird having her around knowing she loves me

 

[Gek54]

You dont love your girlfriend, bail. Go after the other one.

 

[norinrad21]

What makes you think i don't?

The strange revelation from the other girl is just making me feel weird.

I keep thinking why the heck do women ignore me when i'm single, but whenever i'm with a woman, they seem to have an interest in me?

I'd f**k her if i could, but i can't goes against everything i believe in besides why would anyone do something like that when you have a good thing going? Why ruin it by f**king another woman?

 

[supermonkey]

Find out if they are into 3 somes....

 

[demi]

Wait wait, I've seen this movie before.

Spoiler

They are the same person! I KNEW IT

 

[Zaptruder]

From a pragmatic point of view,

a single person can love (passionately) 2 or more people than some other person can love 1 person.

That said, you'd only be able to give 50% of your total love at most if you get more than one partner...

and more to the point, with the idea of love relative to the culture... and the culture dictating that manogamy is the right way, then when you 'love' two people, it becomes less than a sum of its parts. Especially true if the other two aren't aware of the situation.

Personally I think in an ideal world, they'd be some kinda distributed loving, where people can move on and freely associate with many people, without cultured and ingrained feelings of rejection and betrayal. Also without the risk of STDs. But hey, that's not the world we live in.

 

[hooded pitohui]

Wait wait, I've seen this movie before.

Spoiler

They are the same person! I KNEW IT

:lol :lol :lol

 

[Leon]

So you meet a new girl, you hang out, get a little close, and suddenly you're in "love"? It's just a common attraction to what you don't have, the excitement of change, the grass is always greener on the other side, yada yada yada. You're not in love with either of them...Your dick is.

 

[norinrad21]

So you meet a new girl, you hang out, get a little close, and suddenly you're in "love"? It's just a common attraction to what you don't have, the excitement of change, the grass is always greener on the other side, yada yada yada. You're not in love with either of them...Your dick is.

You don't get it.

I love my girl and i wouldn't give her up for the world. I'm just shocked by the way the other girl claims to love me even though we are just friends.

How the hell do i continue to hangout with her without her feelings for me being an issue and suddenly breaking off contact with her could lead to other problems...like her painting me black to my friends

 

[Zaptruder]

Tell your girlfriend.

Watch the ensuing cat fight.

Get sexed up real good as your gf states her dominance over you to other women.

 

[Vormund]

ménage à trois?

 

[Leon]

How the hell do i continue to hangout with her without her feelings for me being an issue

You said that she tells you she loves you "but as a friend". What's that about?

 

[norinrad21]

You said that she tells you she loves you "but as a friend". What's that about?

You don't call people you claim to be your friends everyday, send text messages and ask them to come over.

 

[Leon]

You're just creating a problem where there shouldn't be one. It shouldn't be hard to just set an untold line, and indirectly make her understand your situation so that she gradually backs off. But it sounds like getting her off your back isn't your actual problem...your problem is that you don't fully want her off your back.

 

[Jonnyram]

You don't call people you claim to be your friends everyday, send text messages and ask them to come over.

Some women do. I knew one like that a long time ago. Actually, that one ended up in bed with a lot of guys, and she got into a whole lot of trouble. My advice would be to not fall in love with her. It sounds like you want to bone her, but you should try and keep those feelings at bay since you have a girlfriend who you love already. Loving two people may well be possible from your side, but jealousy from one or both of the girls will cause you trouble.

 

[Amakusa]

I don't know about you friend, but I can love two women at the sametime. It would be an odd position... one would have be on top of the other while I'm.... *reads post* Ohhhh I see what you mean, hehe... yeah.

You know, keep in mind that a women only wants you caring for her and her alone. If you have a great job, money to blow then this new women *the friend* may be trying to break you and your true love up. You're cock is saying, dude dude look it's a new girl to play with! Don't listen to him, I have same problem sometimes...

If you really want to test this new friend of yours, have her come out and hang with you and your true love, if she starts acting up only wanting your attention then she has a real thing for you.
Now thats when you ask yourself, who does more to please you. You're true love who you've known for a long time, who knows what you like in bed. Who knows how to make you melt during sex and who made you happy before this new girl showed up.
Or this new girl who you've never slept with, who may suck ass in bed, and may be hidden her true bitchy self from you.

 

[Socreges]

I've got a somewhat similar problem

I've been hanging out with this girl, increasingly more and more, for a couple months now. We get along EXTREMELY well, despite the fact that we don't really share any interests. Buuuuut I never feel a strong attraction to her. And I get the impression that she's pretty high on me. I don't think that she thinks it's going to go anywhere, but it still seems like a delicate situation. So, we have a mutual acquaintance (not really a friend) and I'd like to have her help me get closer to this acquaintance. But I'm afraid that she's going to get upset, or, in the least, it's going to hurt the unusually comfortable relationship that we've got. I honestly don't want to lose that. Or maybe I just don't want to suffer the unavoidable consequences. Either way, I'm knocking that around in my brain and trying to guage what reaction she might have. This isn't something that I need advice with, since only I know all the circumstances/realities/etc, but I just thought I'd share for whatever reason besides my own selfish indulgence.

You don't call people you claim to be your friends everyday, send text messages and ask them to come over.

...yeah you do. Girls/girls, girls/guys... even guys/guys, though they're often called "homosexuals".

How does she act when you're talking about your girlfriend? That should give you the best idea. By your age (self-referred "man), you should be able to read people reasonably well.

 

[norinrad21]

We get along really really great, this girl tells me things she will never talk about with anyone, puts her head on my shoulder, comes out of nowhere to touch my hair, lie on my back when i'm lying on the couch. Shows too much caring etc.

I love the relationship i have with her and i don't want to lose that, it just feels awesom having her around, but at the sametime i don't want to get into anything else besides the friendly relationship with have.

I just need to find a way to deal with her without her emotional attachment to be getting in the way.

I feel like i could end up fucking her over if i ditch her, theres also her little brother who sees me as some sort of a gaming God[:lol] and Mr have all the answers to his questions. The kid always asks about me when i haven't been around for a few days.

 

[Do The Mario]

Find out if they are into 3 somes....

One of my friends does that every time he is about to break up with a girl, if she is into threesomes he is a winner if not he still is.

 

[Gek54]

How are you ditching her? Just dont lead her on and you should be cool unless she goes stalker on you and then you of course have to cut it off.

 

[hooded pitohui]

Tell your girlfriend.

Watch the ensuing cat fight.

Get sexed up real good as your gf states her dominance over you to other women.

:lol
"Last night... Lois was... the man!!"

 

[lexy]

I thought this thread was asking a hypothetical question. To which my answer would be yes.

I don't know about your situation norinrad21. If you love the girl you were originally with and don't want to hurt her by taking things further with this "other" girl then it sounds to me like you have already made your choice.

Does your girlfriend even know about this other girl and the type of relationship you have with her?

 

[madara]

You can guarantee too if you did dump your current girlfriend for this "friend", she likely dump you quite fast as well ending up with nothing. Especially if her attraction is partially that your taken. Your going to have to be real stern guy with this to figure it out.

 

[Naked Snake]

Personally I think in an ideal world, they'd be some kinda distributed loving, where people can move on and freely associate with many people, without cultured and ingrained feelings of rejection and betrayal. Also without the risk of STDs. But hey, that's not the world we live in.

IAWTP, and I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

 

[Myoclonic Jerk]

Can a man love 2 women at the same time?

yes... but thats what happens when one of them finds out about it

 

[DCX]

Wow...the second thread that i made, re-invented

DCX

 

[R0GX]

I agree with Leon, this is just "grass is greener" syndrome. Anyone that has been in a long relationship has experienced this. You love the person you're with, but someone comes along that grabs your attention in some way and you find yourself questioning everything. If what you say is true and you really do love your girlfriend, and most importantly she loves you, then do not mess that up over some girl you really don't know. Believe it or not, its really hard to find someone that "truly" loves you. Attraction is not the same thing.

Anyway, you know your situation better than any of us, but beware girls showing affection and pretending to want to be friends (well depends how faithful you want to be to your gf I guess). Women love to steal guys, and it seems like the less available you are, the more they try.

*edit*

Good advice from above: invite the friend over to hang out with you and your gf, then watch what happens.. :lol

 

[maharg]

That said, you'd only be able to give 50% of your total love at most if you get more than one partner...

Complete tangent, but do you really believe it's this simplistic? How do you measure this finite resource of love? Are children an exception, or do people with more children love each child less?

 

[Zaptruder]

Complete tangent, but do you really believe it's this simplistic? How do you measure this finite resource of love? Are children an exception, or do people with more children love each child less?

It is that simple....

but that said, on average a person would only give 5% (or insert some other reasonably arbitary number) of their total effort into loving one person, rather than 100% of their total being.

Indeed, even with the effort and totallity of their love, it is not necessarily reciprocated the same.

 

[Cubsfan23]

Of course it's possible..........What do you think 3somes were invented for?

 

[maharg]

It is that simple....

but that said, on average a person would only give 5% (or insert some other reasonably arbitary number) of their total effort into loving one person, rather than 100% of their total being.

Indeed, even with the effort and totallity of their love, it is not necessarily reciprocated the same.

Heh, I think you bring new meaning to the old saying about 95% of statistics being pulled out of someone's ass

 

[God's Hand]

You can love as many people as you want. If you can love your mother, sister, brother, and a girlfriend, what's stopping your love from spreading further? Also, sex and love shouldn't mix.

 

[Zaptruder]

Heh, I think you bring new meaning to the old saying about 95% of statistics being pulled out of someone's ass

Hey... I qualified that! Jerk

 

[Lil' Dice]

Sure you can love two women at once, but why would you want to?

 

[J2 Cool]

GIVE HER TO ME YOU SELFISH PRICK!

 

[snaildog]

Settling down with one girl just isn't natural for young men. I feel like an arsehole, but girls only really keep my attention for a few months. Statistically, no matter how good your girl is there're always thousands of better ones out there.