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[Matlock]

Remember how good Crash Team Racing was? Strip away all that, make it as generic as possible and kill the physics model. Then, lump on shitty platforming levels in full 3D with wandering (Crash was NOT MADE FOR THIS) and you're halfway there.


..the "Tag Team" part refers to the fact you can hit the triangle button and merge with any other car on the road, friend or foe. Seriously, you hit triangle, run into a car, and suddenly you're in a more powrful car with an aimed turret.

...

What makes this even worse is that if you're behind on the second lap, you can merge, blow away the competition, run a few turbos, and then unmerge on the final stretch. It'll give you a boost of speed, and you'll win every time.

Someone...dear god, make the hurting stop.

 

[DMczaf]

Crash Tag Team Racing is like prison rape

"Hmmm..."

"GOTY?"

 

[FeedMeAStrayCat]

"Hmmm..."

"GOTY?"

Is there anything else you do with your free time? :lol

 

[Mejilan]

Get Mario Kart DS.

 

[Widfara]

Is there anything else you do with your free time? :lol

this is gaf, remember. free time=spent on gaf. actually, all time=spent on gaf.

 

[Matlock]

Get Mario Kart DS.

Tomorrow, my son.

 

[Matlock]

I'm a little further in, and the platforming's only gotten worse. Races are still utter shit, which is nice...especially given the track design has hints of the Crash Bandicoot flavor to it, but goes on to be pathetically generic.

What's more, playing as the little gothie girl is pretty much an instant win button, since merging with her gives you a superpowerful shotgun. :\

 

[Ignatz Mouse]

This is exaclt why I have paid zero attention to this game in previews. Or, for that matter, any non-Naughty-Dog Crash game.

Pity I hated Jak and Daxter, too.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

i tried to warn you. HBK is slowly starting to invade the gaming forum. May brady have pity on your souls.

 

[Matlock]

The platforming levels somehow got worse. They're just fetch quests without any enemies--it's to the point where the only way you can get killed outside of falling off a platform is through one of the joke posts where you can activate your own death.

...seriously.

SOMEONE GOT A RARE GAME IN MY GENERIC KART RACER

 

[Beer Monkey]

Crash Tag Team Racing is like prison rape

After a while you try to convince yourself that you like it?

 

[mosaic]

I felt a soreness in my rectum after playing this too.

Weak ass basic design, weak tracks, and --WTF-- platforming? Can you imagine if Criterion put 3D platforming levels into Burnout?

Not to mention the low poly environments, mad slowdown, and jumpy camera.

The clashing element is kind of cool, but it's too easy to abuse. Impossible to lose when you can use it to latch onto racers up ahead. Battle mode is less mind-numbing, but it's hardly strategic or competitive.

Just... yeah.... the original Crash Team Racing was a true alternative to Mario Kart... great levels, great balance, everything firing on all cylinders.

 

[Jive Turkey]

After a while you try to convince yourself that you like it?

DAMMIT. Beat me to it.

 

[kevm3]

Seriously, I don't understand this merging concept wholly. You "merge" with another racer, and they are out of the race until you choose to split from them?

 

[Matlock]

Seriously, I don't understand this merging concept wholly. You "merge" with another racer, and they are out of the race until you choose to split from them?

No, you're together. You can drive and they gun or vice versa--it makes a stronger car.

...

And if you finish while merged, both of you get 1st.

 

[mosaic]

And if you separate from them, you end up in front of them... loads of ways to abuse it.

 

[kevm3]

Eh, sounds weird.

 

[Dave Long]

Comparing a game to prison rape seems pretty extreme. I take it you've had some inmate's dick up your ass to get that kind of comparison?

You should be on this show.

http://www.g4tv.com/videos/index.html?video_key=9041

 

[Matlock]

Comparing a game to prison rape seems pretty extreme. I take it you've had some inmate's dick up your ass to get that kind of comparison?

You should be on this show.

http://www.g4tv.com/videos/index.html?video_key=9041

"The fun stops here."

Indeed. :lol

 

[krypt0nian]

Is there anything else you do with your free time? :lol

wait....we can do other things?


When did this start?

 

[Yoshi]

It isn't a great game, but I think, it meets it's demgraphic quiete well. As a kid's game I'd say, it's really good. Just not for hardcore gamers as there basically is no difficulty and the courses are very simple.