Crazy Christian Mothers....

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olimario

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I've heard about them, but I had not seen one in person until a couple days ago. I was in an Italian Gelato place getting some Orange Cream/Cooked Cream Gelato and this woman, her mother, and her 9-year-old daughter were all checking out with their ice cream.

The woman turns to the girl and with an evil look on her face says, "Show Grandma how we thank Jesus!... Thank the Baby Jesus for our Ice Cream!".

I've never seen anyone act that creepy in my life. Has anyone else witnessed stuff like this?
 
I was talking to a girl from school and started talking about some other girl everyone hates. she says this "I'm going to show her the love." I say what does that mean and she replies "God's Love"


wtf moment there
 
MrPing1000 said:
I was talking to a girl from school and started talking about some other girl everyone hates. she says this "I'm going to show her the love." I say what does that mean and she replies "God's Love"


wtf moment there
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It's like Mandy Moore in 'Saved'. "Let's show her how happy we Christians are... Everybody start laughing!"
 
My Aunt has four children which have never set foot in a school, due to her views (nor have lived in any houes for more than 4 consecutive years, that's another tale). Her whole take on Christianity is inexplicable.

As a result, my sister got to hear her 14y daughter utter gems like:
"Evolution. psh- as if that exists."
(I wasn't there for the conversation so I don't know how it came up, but, the statement is real.)
 
One of my ex's crazy mother was trying to convince me to have faith. I was explaining to her how I completely lack faith of any kind and the best comment she could come up with was well dont you have faith that your car will get you safely to where your going. My reply was like uh no actually I expect to die at any moment thats why i drive vigilantly so that the chances of that happening are slim.
I was also forced to go to a crazy singing baptist church with said girl. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. There was a crown of thorns hanging from the ceiling above us that was made from sharp black painted metal that must have been 30 feet across. All I could do was imagine it crashing to the ground on top of us.
 
My mom invited me to some Christian pottery session because she thought the art work they showcased would persuade me get more involved with the "faith". It was pretty decent up until they started preaching about science and implying that it's a waste because "in the bible", we already knew that "man was made of dust". I tuned out after that, greatly refrained myself from raising my hand and starting a debate, and was told that I let the devil poison my heart and close my ability to hear.
 
There's a Christian girl that comes in from time to time to my work, and it's obvious she has a thing for me. She came in last week, i made her a drink, and we chatted for a bit. i eventually got back to work, and noticed a note in my tip jar. She had written on the back of her receipt a message, basically telling me to give my life to God. Considering the number of Christian women that flirt with me, i've seriously considered going to church solely for nefarious purposes.
 
All I could do was imagine it crashing to the ground on top of us.
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I wonder how they'd explain that... When major shit happens into some non-Christian region, there's always gonna be some backwater Christian idiots talking about God pwning heretics.
 
""This just in............wait a minute. I'm getting report that christians are crazy!? IMPOSSIBLE!"

Good fucking game generalizations.
 
aoi tsuki said:
There's a Christian girl that comes in from time to time to my work, and it's obvious she has a thing for me. She came in last week, i made her a drink, and we chatted for a bit. i eventually got back to work, and noticed a note in my tip jar. She had written on the back of her receipt a message, basically telling me to give my life to God. Considering the number of Christian women that flirt with me, i've seriously considered going to church solely for nefarious purposes.
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But they're only interested in your soul, not your body.
 
Here in Spain there are non catholic groups around (Jehova, baptists -most of them are USA citizens preaching...), but most christians are catholics. But they don't take such a heavy stand against science and that kind of stuff. In fact, they are pretty permissive, nothing like the stuff I read here. I mean, people (even catholics) would go wtf with that people.

Your christians are so damn funny...
 
I'm up to about here (pointing really high) with these intolerant, condescending generalizations of christians.

Thanks a lot guys... I really don't think that highly of you either.

(I'm already having a really bad day.)
 
I was in class a few months ago and the subject of monkey ancestors came up, when all of a sudden the resident religious nut decided it was his right, nay duty, to ask myself and another, "You don't believe in that crackpot evolution theory, do you?!" Me, I tended to just ignore his religious rants but the other guy shot right back before I could even scoff at what was said with, "Sure, you don't believe in that stupid Jesus shit, do you?!" Religious Guy got so offended.

Also, there used to be a christian group who walked through the bus station one night every week and they'd wear shirts with slogans like "Thirsty? Jesus satisfies!" The guy from the story above started wearing his Jesus shirt not long after that, which proclaimed, "Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a wanker."
 
megateto said:
Here in Spain there are non catholic groups around (Jehova, baptists -most of them are USA citizens preaching...), but most christians are catholics. But they don't take such a heavy stand against science and that kind of stuff. In fact, they are pretty permissive, nothing like the stuff I read here. I mean, people (even catholics) would go wtf with that people.

Your christians are so damn funny...
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Seriously, it's pretty much just american christians that act all nutty like that.
 
I've only met a few people who were religi-o-nutty. They're good for laughing at, if nothing else. They'd probably make for some tasty lion food too. Mmmm... christians.
 
McLesterolBeast said:
I've only met a few people who were religi-o-nutty. They're good for laughing at, if nothing else. They'd probably make for some tasty lion food too. Mmmm... christians.
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is this going to be let go?

seriously?
 
drool.gif
 
I have a friend whose grandparents were crazy, racist, Christians. As a strange twist or fate, all the daughters (I think that's 4) went away and married black men. Some divorced and married other black men.

That particular friend is of course half black. :)
 
What is up with all the anti-religion sentiment on here? I'm Catholic, and I go to these bible reflection courses from time to time. We talk frankly about the stories in the bible and we don't take everything literally. We realize that the Bible was written by men and has been heavily edited over the years. This view that all Christians are nutcases is really annoying and comes out of ignorance. I can see humour in everyday life, I can swear and talk shit too. Oh my, am I a nutcase?
 
Hrmm... I think there should be a distinction between the "evolution- you don't believe in that crackpot idea, do you?" person and the "Thank baby jesus" mom. The former attacked the theory of evolution and dismissed (and I'm sure offended the person he/she said it to), rather than approaching the subject with respect and a sense of humility. The latter was simply trying to raise her child based on her beliefs.

The mom with the ice-cream? It may seem weird to an outsider, or even to some Christians that don't do that sort of thing, but we shouldn't call it crazy just as the theory of evolution shouldn't be called a crackpot idea. Of course, I don't believe that everyone's beliefs are right, but rather that we should approach foreign ideas with respect - we make fools of ourselves if we do otherwise.

~Cris
 
crisdecuba said:
. Of course, I don't believe that everyone's beliefs are right, but rather that we should approach foreign ideas with respect - we make fools of ourselves if we do otherwise.

~Cris
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Well said Cris. Even if that was a crazy post you just made.
 
aoi tsuki said:
There's a Christian girl that comes in from time to time to my work, and it's obvious she has a thing for me. She came in last week, i made her a drink, and we chatted for a bit. i eventually got back to work, and noticed a note in my tip jar. She had written on the back of her receipt a message, basically telling me to give my life to God. Considering the number of Christian women that flirt with me, i've seriously considered going to church solely for nefarious purposes.
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but... your too young to get married
 
crisdecuba said:
Hrmm... I think there should be a distinction between the "evolution- you don't believe in that crackpot idea, do you?" person and the "Thank baby jesus" mom. The former attacked the theory of evolution and dismissed (and I'm sure offended the person he/she said it to), rather than approaching the subject with respect and a sense of humility. The latter was simply trying to raise her child based on her beliefs.
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And what made it even funnier was that he didn't see that what he said was born from the same amount of ignorance as the retort, if it wasn't only said to pull the piss out of him. When an attempt to explain it to him was made he simply looked at us straight in the face, looking as though he have fury, and said, "Look, I don't care what the hell you say about me but don't make fun of the Big J.C!" I was almost expecting him to break out into christian rap.
 
Iceman said:
I'm up to about here (pointing really high) with these intolerant, condescending generalizations of christians.

Thanks a lot guys... I really don't think that highly of you either.

(I'm already having a really bad day.)
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Aren't you supposed to love them as yourself?

All kidding aside, I actually agree with where you're coming from. Many Christians are peace loving, reasonable people who actually work hard to better the world.

The problem is that the majority of people are either stupid, ignorant, or assholes (or some combination of the three). I'd say that this applies to about 99% of humanity -- all races and creeds included. And since Christianinty is such a large group, the proportional stupidity, ignorance and assholishness they exhibit through the mere fault of being populated by members of the human race makes them seem disproportionally stupid, ignorant and assholish.

But it's just not the case. They're stupid, ignorant assholes because they're people, not because they're Christians.
 
Flynn said:
Aren't you supposed to love them as yourself?

All kidding aside, I actually agree with where you're coming from. Many Christians are peace loving, reasonable people who actually work hard to better the world.

The problem is that the majority of people are either stupid, ignorant, or assholes (or some combination of the three). I'd say that this applies to about 99% of humanity -- all races and creeds included. And since Christianinty is such a large group, the proportional stupidity, ignorance and assholishness they exhibit through the mere fault of being populated by members of the human race makes them seem disproportionally stupid, ignorant and assholish.

But it's just not the case. They're stupid, ignorant assholes because they're people, not because they're Christians.
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You got it. Thanks for understanding.
 
You folks are talking about Baptists and/or other evangelical flavors of American Christianity. Not that Europe doesn't have its share of religious crackpots -- they DID give us Aquinas after all -- but it's the Midwestern/Southern brand of ascetic Baptism that folks unfortunately use to tar the collective face of American Christianity with. They're a VERY vocal minority overall, although in the more rural areas of the Midwest, they're quite predominant.

They're Fundamental Evangelists (meaning they believe that it is their sacred duty to convert as per the most literal interpretation of the Bible) and they're likewise Premillenial Dispensationalists (meaning they believe that the Lord is comin' back Real Soon Now(tm) and they need to get as many souls as possible to make the heavenly high score board or something). Given how specific this behavior is, it's pretty much basic logic that many, many Christians are NOT going to be that way. Even scientists have their dogmatic kooks -- they're called "engineers". (OWNED!) Baptists just make a very convenient stereotype, since they leave a very negative impression on saner folks, and they often have very little to define themselves outside of their faith.

I have a LOT of stories about my many, many run-ins with the Evangelical set. I was actually once publically corrected about the pronunciation of the word "evolution" -- apparently, it is pronounced "EVIL-ution". (I'm not kidding.) And the Pentecostals: let's not go there.

My ONLY problem with modern Christianity is the laissez-faire attitude the many casual practitioners have when it comes to doctrine, and the complete reliance on the logical fallacy of Pascal's Gambit, especially when it comes to social issues. Take the gay marriage example: most people that voted against it didn't feel that strongly about it, but they figured that since their church leader had an epistle-of-St.-Paul-sized burr up his/her ass about two dudes at the altar, better to be on God's side. (Plus, when you don't personally know any gay folk, sending them up shit creek socially seems like a pretty trivial decision that pays out well in God Points). I find something incredibly disturbing about the sort ofvaguely genial apathy with which many modern Christians practice their religion, and when they use that "better safe with God than sorry" maxim to prevent necessary social reform or to enact sweeping federal/state civil policy changes, it's really bloody worrisome. Christians that think and struggle daily with their faith as it conflicts with larger social issues? Respect 'em. Those that use dogma as a tool of convenience and think entirely in terms of their standing with God? Don't respect 'em.
 
Oh, and there's always that tired old debate I have ad nauseum:

<Evangelical> Why do you believe in evolution?
<Me> I don't believe in evolution.
<Evangelical> But you just said that evolution is the best explanation!
<Me> That's right.
<Evangelical> So you believe in it!
<Me> No.
<Evangelical> Are you playing a game with me?
<Me> Some of us don't view the world in terms of "belief", but rather in terms of "likelihood".
<Evangelical> Sounds like an excuse to me!
 
What in the fuck is wrong with that?

Wow, the mother was telling her young daughter to thank Jesus for the ice cream. It's the same as saying a prayer before eating.

But I mean since it's not something you practice then man they must be craaaaaazy.
 
That doesn't sound like any of the catechisms of St. Pius the 10th to me!

Current conservative branding: don't let the evil ELITIST libruls blandish your Christian pals, even if your practices don't jive with 'em at all!
 
Look, I'm from Georgia. I know exactly what Olimario is talking about.

Christians are cool. I know/ have met/ are related to many of them. People who truly believe have this awesome ability to deal with anything. It's admirable.

On the other hand, you have those people that come to Christianity for the wrong reasons. I've often wondered: Is it still a good thing to have faith for the wrong reasons? I mean, just look at the movie Carrie. Creepy.

There are lots and lots of creepy Christians out there. Staunch. Devout. Unbending in their 'faith'. Using their faith to shield themselves from what hurts, offends, or scares them. Great righteous protection from 'different' people.

It's these people that try to drag you to church, scared for your soul, and shun you if you don't 'come to God' right there in front of the entire assembly. That's happened to me twice. Silly me. I was already a member of another church.

So I guess you could say I'm gunshy when someone out of the blue brings up faith and religion, and it worries the hell out of me when our president says things like "I have never said that religious people are more patriotic. I just feel that way."
 
Drinky Crow said:
That doesn't sound like any of the catechisms of St. Pius the 10th to me!

Current conservative branding: don't let the evil ELITIST libruls blandish your Christian pals, even if your practices don't jive with 'em at all!
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I'm catholic? News to me.

Also, politics don't really play a role in my comment. I simply think it's very juvenile to criticize someone else for how they choose to express their beliefs towards their own family.

But since you love that type of discussion so much, let's revert back to how intolerant conservatives are of beliefs that might threaten christianity. Because when the tables are turned and the 'libruls' are the ones doing the criticizing it's best to turn the other cheek and point the finger at the opposing side as quickly as possible, am I right?
 
I have pentecostal family members so I have tons of these stories. Most recently, this pastor during his sermon said that the Asian tsunami happened, because of nuclear weapon experimentation. I shit you not.
 
Granted some people have twisted Christianity to the point of ridiculousy, as kumanoki pointed out, but I fail to see how a mother telling her child to show her grandmother how she thanks Jesus for ice cream relates to preachers and congregations who focus more on condemnation than anything else.
 
I reckon we should use what's left of this thread to discuss the things we don't like about olimario.

Actually, having finished reading Drinkys first post, I'd like to reinforce the view that taking a religious perspective out into the world as an active agenda, and attempting to make the people, places and situations one encounters therein conform to the doctrines of ones faith, is an endlessly ridiculous endeavour. To my mind, one generally only encounters ones own faith when one is left clinging to it, cowering; when one has nothing left; when the difficulty of spanking the world with the bat of ones own innate moral sense (our only true guide in the world) has finally left us curled up, drained on the floor. It is what picks us up. It is the only thing that picks us up, and furthermore that is almost its single use. It is gratitude, love, and unworthiness; it is the miniscule percentage of our existence that accounts for the entirety of its worth.

I M O
 
I really don't like *those* pictures of Olimario. You know the ones. It bugs me that I have some neurotransmitter configuration in my skull that contains a sort of chemical image of Oli's flaccid wang. It really ain't fair.

Tritroid: The St. Pius thing was a joke. "GIVE US NOW OUR DAILY DICKS." Come on; that's FUNNY.

...

:(
 
B-B-Bomba! said:
Then I entreat you to re-read my first sentence, go forth, and criticise.
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Yeah.

Well to be honest I wouldn't put such a strong analyzation on this particular instance. The girl was 9 years old. Most mothers talk like that to their children because they think it's particularly cute. "Show grandma how we wash our hands!", "Show grandma how we eat our spinach!", "Show grandma how we thank Jesus for our food!"

It was an example of a mother briefly expressing how she chooses to raise her daughter, and Oli just happened to be eavesdropping.
 
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