ZackieChan
Member
You get what you pay for, bro. Hell, I just paid for a month of Tinder so I can pre-swipe in the country I'm visiting next. Pro-level moves.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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You get what you pay for, bro. Hell, I just paid for a month of Tinder so I can pre-swipe in the country I'm visiting next. Pro-level moves.
There is a trail period when you sign up. You can cancel for up to 7 days and get your money back. I used it, didn't really like what I saw and canceled without spending anything.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
In terms of interesting things to do, I find volunteering to be quite good. It's an easy way to meet people, it's cheap (they'll toss you freebies since you're not being paid), and because it's not paid your level of commitment doesn't have to be very high (i.e. flexible hours).
With regard to the ways to better yourself topic, I like this idea a lot. Cooking is a great skill in terms of keeping yourself healthy and also impressing friends and dates. I feel like if you're in that process of bettering yourself to make yourself more appealing to members of the opposite sex, the best things to focus on have primary benefits for yourself with a side benefit of improving your appeal.
Social skills is a big one. Improving social skills helps you in all aspects of your life, not just dating. It's inspiring to see so many in this thread going out of their comfort zone and talking to people at parties and trying other new things.
As for me, my self-improvement goals at the moment are to start cooking more of my own meals instead of eating out so much, continue taking dance classes and improve on my running so that I can move beyond 10k and hopefully participate in a half marathon by the end of the summer.
I'd actually like to do some volunteering too. Maybe something like helping kids with their homework or some kind of big brother program. I should look into that some more.
Still a rookie move to pay for that. Pro move is to use an app that sets your phones GPS location to wherever you want and then it doesn't say swiping in X when people see your pics.
ZackieChan
Member
Damn. Thanks for the tip. I'm definitely a rookie.
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
So quick update, still talking to this girl. Things are going well.
Yesterday though I went out with coworkers and ran into an old coworker and her sister.
Her sister and I hit it off, though we were both incredibly drunk. She gave me her number, and she is drop dead gorgeous.
My dilemma is that I don't know if I should text her back or not since Im talking to another girl.
Also my text game is weak, in person is good. Over text not so much.
Pasta_Soup
Member
Are you exclusive with the first girl? If not, text the new girl and set up a date. Nothing really to lose here.
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
Echoing this. I learned the hard way with the last girl that I thought we were something more than we were and ended up focusing too much on her when the sentiment wasn't the same.
It's fine to talk to others if you aren't exclusive. I've been talking to two girls myself lately and just seeing where things go.
I say enjoy single life and don't tie yourself down unless both of you are in agreement you are exclusive.
Hit me up when you come to China. 😏
ZackieChan
Member
AD, I'll be in Tokyo this summer if you pass through.
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
No we arent exclusive.
So my ex-coworker said she would put in a good word with her sister for me. (Her sister has been sort of on and off with a guy, but my ex-coworker likes me more than him)
IISANDERII
Member
How to convert failed dating into a FWB type thing?
We dated for 2-3 weeks but haven't spoken for a few days over a small argument. The emotional sparks weren't there but the sex was great. I figure wait a few more days to contact her but what to say? It needs to be something which indicates that it would be FWB but not in so many words(I don't think she'd be cool with the label but she's had FWB relationships in the past but denies they were FWB's).
Help
We dated for 2-3 weeks but haven't spoken for a few days over a small argument. The emotional sparks weren't there but the sex was great. I figure wait a few more days to contact her but what to say? It needs to be something which indicates that it would be FWB but not in so many words(I don't think she'd be cool with the label but she's had FWB relationships in the past but denies they were FWB's).
Help
"Hey Suzy, I really don't like arguing with you but I love banging you. Wanna just shut your pie hole for awhile but keep everything else the same? Cheers."
Etrian Oddity
Member
It's effectively saying to just go with life and hope something rolls along. No matter how much you can funnel effort into it, it boils down to being in the right spot. You can try to become as great a person as you can become; but ultimately, you can't make people like you. Some folks are just kinda out of luck on that regard.
ZackieChan
Member
This is as ridiculous as the anti-bootstraps attitude on Gaf. Of course you have a huge hand in making people like you , by being likeable and by making yourself more sexually appealing, by putting yourself in front of as many people as you can, by changing where you live or where you look for dates, by changing the particular women or type of woman you are going for, etc. Don't give into this defeatist nonsense.
You should definitely name drop. If he has a GF he's being unfair to both her and you,
Definitely ask her out for drinks. Driving an hour to someone's house that you barely know rates slightly more creepy then casual hang in the city after art class.
Hi Gaf! I'm looking for some advice.
So the thing is that I have the fear that I won't be able to make contact with girls in my future. I will (hopefully) gain admission to an engineering university next year and I Don't think I will have many chances to meet with girls.
I'm an introvert, but sometimes I go to parties and such, and I can approach people thanks to my skill of hiding my unconfidence for sometime. So far I was able to surpass my fear and ask girls out, some rejected me. some of them didn't, but never managed to reach a serious relationship.
So my question would be: What should I do to get to know more girls and increase my chances, my biggest problem is, I think that I can't go to a girl and start chatting with her if I don't know her (I feel totally wierd), not even on parties. Furthermore, alas, I can't really keep up a conversation.
As i said earlier i will be attending university next year and I won't be going to parties, so what are my chances of meeting the right one, any advices?
Thanks for reading
So the thing is that I have the fear that I won't be able to make contact with girls in my future. I will (hopefully) gain admission to an engineering university next year and I Don't think I will have many chances to meet with girls.
I'm an introvert, but sometimes I go to parties and such, and I can approach people thanks to my skill of hiding my unconfidence for sometime. So far I was able to surpass my fear and ask girls out, some rejected me. some of them didn't, but never managed to reach a serious relationship.
So my question would be: What should I do to get to know more girls and increase my chances, my biggest problem is, I think that I can't go to a girl and start chatting with her if I don't know her (I feel totally wierd), not even on parties. Furthermore, alas, I can't really keep up a conversation.
As i said earlier i will be attending university next year and I won't be going to parties, so what are my chances of meeting the right one, any advices?
Thanks for reading
One thing you might want to try is get more practice as a conversationalist. Go to parties, even if you're not suuuper feeling like it.Hi Gaf! I'm looking for some advice.
So the thing is that I have the fear that I won't be able to make contact with girls in my future. I will (hopefully) gain admission to an engineering university next year and I Don't think I will have many chances to meet with girls.
I'm an introvert, but sometimes I go to parties and such, and I can approach people thanks to my skill of hiding my unconfidence for sometime. So far I was able to surpass my fear and ask girls out, some rejected me. some of them didn't, but never managed to reach a serious relationship.
So my question would be: What should I do to get to know more girls and increase my chances, my biggest problem is, I think that I can't go to a girl and start chatting with her if I don't know her (I feel totally wierd), not even on parties. Furthermore, alas, I can't really keep up a conversation.
As i said earlier i will be attending university next year and I won't be going to parties, so what are my chances of meeting the right one, any advices?
Thanks for reading
The other aspect I'd recommend focusing on is experiencing new things - even just simple things like dating will yield tons of anecdotes (especially the "bad" dates!) that make for great conversation pieces. Generally, allow for situations where you're a bit vulnerable. Go outside your comfort zone from time to time.
Just don't get to a point in your life where you look back and regret not, you know, enjoying being young. Have fun
Why not try online dating? I'm an introvert and it has been a godsend for me.Hi Gaf! I'm looking for some advice.
So the thing is that I have the fear that I won't be able to make contact with girls in my future. I will (hopefully) gain admission to an engineering university next year and I Don't think I will have many chances to meet with girls.
I'm an introvert, but sometimes I go to parties and such, and I can approach people thanks to my skill of hiding my unconfidence for sometime. So far I was able to surpass my fear and ask girls out, some rejected me. some of them didn't, but never managed to reach a serious relationship.
So my question would be: What should I do to get to know more girls and increase my chances, my biggest problem is, I think that I can't go to a girl and start chatting with her if I don't know her (I feel totally wierd), not even on parties. Furthermore, alas, I can't really keep up a conversation.
As i said earlier i will be attending university next year and I won't be going to parties, so what are my chances of meeting the right one, any advices?
Thanks for reading
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
The issue is you are counting yourself out before even being there. Get there and go wth the flow, don't get in your own head and say you will have a hard time.Hi Gaf! I'm looking for some advice.
So the thing is that I have the fear that I won't be able to make contact with girls in my future. I will (hopefully) gain admission to an engineering university next year and I Don't think I will have many chances to meet with girls.
I'm an introvert, but sometimes I go to parties and such, and I can approach people thanks to my skill of hiding my unconfidence for sometime. So far I was able to surpass my fear and ask girls out, some rejected me. some of them didn't, but never managed to reach a serious relationship.
So my question would be: What should I do to get to know more girls and increase my chances, my biggest problem is, I think that I can't go to a girl and start chatting with her if I don't know her (I feel totally wierd), not even on parties. Furthermore, alas, I can't really keep up a conversation.
As i said earlier i will be attending university next year and I won't be going to parties, so what are my chances of meeting the right one, any advices?
Thanks for reading
Go to class, make small talk with classmates, make friends, do activities together. Join some clubs, play some sports, look for local volunteer activities. It's not terribly hard to meet people you just need to actually try to branch out
Krauser Kat
Member
Now to hype myself up for the event.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
That's not what it's saying at all. Like it's not even remotely close, it's taking about actively changing things for yourself, how are you getting that's it's all luck and you have no control?
ZackieChan
Member
Because he's already made up his mind to fail and remove all personal responsibility for being someone that is desired by others.
IISANDERII
Member
No I don't think that would help
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
It's going to be a short trip, sadly. I'll be flying into Yantai for a buddy's wedding, and then I decided to spend a weekend in Seoul, just so I can experience SK. Would appreciate some China-planning trips, though -- if there's a way to fit more things in over like, an 8-10 day period, I'm all ears.
Tip 1: don't spend 10 days in yantai.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Tip 2: Don't have a best friend who wants to get married in Yantai. :/
ZackieChan
Member
They getting married for 10 days?
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Nah, but I'll only have ~8-9 days of vacation at that point. So if I leave on a Monday, I land late on Tuesday. Wedding is Thursday and Friday. Then I'd plan on spending Sat-Sun in Seoul with a friend of mine and head back Monday or Tuesday. It's really less than ideal.
ZackieChan
Member
Oops, I forgot about Seoul. have fun!
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I will be doing Tokyo properly at some point, though. I only spent a year there, even when I lived 2 years in Okinawa.
Also, Dating-Age Pro-Tip: talking about where you want to travel is always great. But, yeah, I figure we all knew that already.
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
A girl I messaged on OKC a month ago finally got back to me today. We've hit it off pretty well, and I asked her if we could kick it sometime. She said sure, but as friends. I wonder if by that she means no hookups?... Or a get to know each other. But we started texting and she's sent me like 5 selfies, she's cute as shit and she said she feels like we're going to be good friends. Right now she's ranting about work and she's known me for two hours.
Either way, she's 17 and I ain't gonna hookup with a. 17 year old until she hits 18. But it'll be fun to see where this goes.
Either way, she's 17 and I ain't gonna hookup with a. 17 year old until she hits 18. But it'll be fun to see where this goes.
Bail out now while you can.
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
We're on the phone now. What have I done. We're talking about anime.
Girls often say this before you meet. Or they say that they are traditional or conservative or things like that. It's important to take them at their word and not push things, but from my experience they usually say this as a defense against creeps that expect them to put out on the first date. If she likes you after you guys meet up she'll be receptive to more (whether that's in the future or on date one it varies). If she wasn't trying to date why would she be on a dating site? I would recommend you don't entertain her and her ranting about work or anything else though before you actually know her. Sounds like a waste of time.
Edit: also to be clear I'm not recommending hooking up with 17 year old if she's down for it on the first date. I'm saying in general girls say that they won't hook up so that they don't appear "slutty" or so guys don't expect too much.
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
We're talking on the phone talking about anime, video games, TV series and other stuff right now. I was not expecting this to happen this quickly. But I'll take your advice in mind.
How old are you?
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
22. 23 in two weeks.
And she's 18 a week after.
She just said she wants to go to sleep, but she said she also wants to talk to me. This is going too well.
She just asked why I can't come over and talk her to sleep instead of being on the phone.
That age gap seems fine. Just be careful.
Also come up with a lame excuse about why you can't see her. Being in a 17yr olds bedroom seems like a bad idea. Unless that is legal in your country
I would tell her to hit you up when she's 18. You're gonna be doing shit like telling her lullabies for weeks before you even see her, seems like a waste of time to me. Also she did take a month to get back to you. She may just be looking for self esteem boost and might have burned out other people higher up on her list.
Banjo-Kazooie
Member
Ya that just seems weird lol
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
We talked til about 6am. She kept saying stuff like, "Why do you keep making me laugh" "Why do you have to be so interesting" etc. and as she was hanging up she told me she was only expecting to talk for about 10 minutes, but I'm too awesome and funny and kept her for 2 hours. I dunno, but in the least I do need a friend out here anyway. I've had 0 social life since I moved to CO.
ZackieChan
Member
This seems all wrong. Not just the age thing, but it sounds like a friendship, not a romantic relationship. Live and learn, bro. I'd like to be wrong, but i don't think I am.
I've got three dates with three different women lined up from tomorrow to Saturday. I'm terrible at dating multiple women at the same time. I know this sounds like a humble-brag, but I'm concerned I'm stretching myself too thin. I'm expecting a Frasier-level disaster at this point.
Anyone who's done this, reassure me!
Anyone who's done this, reassure me!
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
It's all good if it stays a friendship. I have no problem moving past that part. I am perfectly content with that, I'm still trying to figure my own stuff out. I mean, and she said Dark Souls was too slow for her- c'mon that right there is a red flag.
/s
Royal_Phalanx
Member
I don't really have that much of a problem with that age gap tbh, though if you're American I would definitely tell you to be careful. Don't want you to destroy your future over a girl. I'd personally find it a bit weird to seriously date a chick who still hasn't finished high school yet though. Also, like other people here I definitely think that it seems like she's been dating other people off OkCupid and things didn't work out between them, so you might be her 'backup' option. Also she called you a friend, so I don't think she's interested in sleeping with you anyway. Very unlikely that she'll end up hooking up with you.
Also, Meetup.com girl finally got back to me. She says that she 'completely missed my message' and that she was sorry but she had plans on Thursday ( I wanted to take her out for a drink on that day). Not sure if you can completely miss a message though.
Also, Meetup.com girl finally got back to me. She says that she 'completely missed my message' and that she was sorry but she had plans on Thursday ( I wanted to take her out for a drink on that day). Not sure if you can completely miss a message though.
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