Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
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War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Wait what? After what you were posting a while back, you were a virgin? Am I misremembering?
Either way, congratulations!
Jzero
Member
Did it feel awkward losing it as an adult?
Went on a date with some incredibly touchy American girl last night.
She wanted me to go back to hers and stay over, but I declined. I have no idea why since I'm not really lookin for a relationship as such, but at the time I justified it based on getting to work this morning.
I feel so fucking stupid.
She wanted me to go back to hers and stay over, but I declined. I have no idea why since I'm not really lookin for a relationship as such, but at the time I justified it based on getting to work this morning.
I feel so fucking stupid.
waveuponwave
Member
Hooking up with a roommate, yay or nay?
She moved in a few months ago, I don't know her that much, but we hang out a lot with all roommates together playing boardgames and stuff (We have a shared flat in our dorm with 8 people). The last weeks I felt there might be some attraction on her side, just the way she's looking at me and talking to me. Yesterday she asked me to play guitar which led to us sitting in the kitchen together for the whole evening and talking (she asked a ton of questions about me) with the rest of the guys slipping in and out of the kitchen as fast as they could, another roommate who's my closest friend here asked me what the heck is going on with us
Actually the same guy told me a few days ago that another roommate told him she likes me, I thought he was just taking the piss because that sounds like a high school movie, but now I'm not so sure.
She's cute as hell, but living in the same flat from the start feels way too fast, and if it doesn't work out living here could get really awkward
She moved in a few months ago, I don't know her that much, but we hang out a lot with all roommates together playing boardgames and stuff (We have a shared flat in our dorm with 8 people). The last weeks I felt there might be some attraction on her side, just the way she's looking at me and talking to me. Yesterday she asked me to play guitar which led to us sitting in the kitchen together for the whole evening and talking (she asked a ton of questions about me) with the rest of the guys slipping in and out of the kitchen as fast as they could, another roommate who's my closest friend here asked me what the heck is going on with us
Actually the same guy told me a few days ago that another roommate told him she likes me, I thought he was just taking the piss because that sounds like a high school movie, but now I'm not so sure.
She's cute as hell, but living in the same flat from the start feels way too fast, and if it doesn't work out living here could get really awkward
I had her on the phone and she told me she's had back surgery and can't move for a while.
What a bizarre excuse. She's not interested in dating you. Women are pretty clear. If they like you, they will date you. Stop overanalyzing every text/phone call. If they say no for whatever reason, move on.
She might just be looking for something casual. It can't hurt to try. People hook up in dorms all of the time, that's one of the few benefits IMO of living in one in college.
She might just be looking for something casual. It can't hurt to try. People hook up in dorms all of the time, that's one of the few benefits IMO of living in one in college.
So yeah, I concluded tha tI just want to be friends. I'll tell her when I see her next week.
Thanks, btw!
I just lost mine last week, too. Felt great, not awkward at all.
Now I'm dating him and it's been a week and we're moving faster than I expected. We talk every day for hours and were obsessed (but it's long distance, he's on the opposite USA coast).
? She didn't say no? We talked a lot. plus I wasn't interested in dating her, she's the one who brought it up, when talking.
ZackieChan
Member
Why do people keep making this thread Friendship-Age?
What's wrong with friendship. Plus making friends isn't that easy you know. I could be interested in dating her, but obviously right now it's not possible.
And I don't see myself dating someone I can't be friends with...
It's kind of cute how she sends me vocal messages though.
And I don't see myself dating someone I can't be friends with...
It's kind of cute how she sends me vocal messages though.
ZackieChan
Member
It's a dating thread. Friendship is great. But this isn't Friendship-Age. You and Izunadono and Leeness need to put your heads together and make the thread.
Hell, I'd frequent that. I need help finding friends lol
But alas. No one wants to make said thread, and I don't have enough info to make it (or time to maintain it) myself ;-;
Most women in OLD won't say no due to how poorly some guys handle rejection. They will either give excuses or ghost.
If you are trying to make friends, try using Meetup.com, taking classes, doing activities, etc. You need to stop hiding behind a computer screen and learn how to deal with real people. This will naturally help you become less awkward and make you much more appealing to potential dating/romantic partners.
You're making assumptions here. I do tons of stuff irl where I meet and befriend people.
she didn't say no, because I didn't ask her out
she did, in a way. I wasn't really feeling texting and sending messages to someone I never met, but it's fun.I'm making "assumptions" because of the questions you're asking, which honestly paint you as someone that has no experience actually interacting with people. If your texting/messaging style is anything like it is here, it's not surprising you're not getting any dates, because you're coming off as inexperienced at best and dumb/weird/creepy at worst.
Gotdatmoney
Member
You're making assumptions here. I do tons of stuff irl where I meet and befriend people.
she didn't say no, because I didn't ask her out
If you didnt ask her out and you dont have any intrntion of pursuing a relationship what exactly are you asking? You dont need help clearly
ZackieChan
Member
You heard what he said - he does tons of stuff, has tons of friends, and has it all figured out.
Except nearly every single aspect of human romantic interaction, apparently
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
also, how to get clothes that fit
ZackieChan
Member
It seems there comes a time when every poster here pushes us too far. You're in Jason's Ultimatum circa 5 months ago territory, Kurtofan.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Izunadono is in there too.
If yall aint looking for romantic intent you don't need our help. Friendships dont require dating advice.
Help me GAF. I'm having extraordinary fortune and I'm scared and don't want to mess up.
Last week I was a single virgin without any serious relationship history at 25 years old. Wednesday I met a cute guy on Grindr, Thursday we hooked up and I lost my v card, Friday I flew back home 1000 miles away (I was visiting for work and didn't expect to find a partner), Saturday we decided we didn't want this to end, Sunday we defined a relationship that we are exclusively seeing each other, and the past two days we've been having 3 hour Skype dates and we've been texting and calling like crazy. We're practically boyfriends in early dating stages. I'm now flying to visit him next month and he's coming down here. We're going to meet each other's friends and family.
I have everything imaginable in common with this person, even relationship strategy and communication. Were sexually compatible, we are so similar, I'm floored. This is extraordinary luck.
We said we wouldn't move fast to protect ourselves but things are just organically progressing efficiently. I'm not naive to believe that this relationship will be my first and only forever, but we're both willing to make it work at this point.
What should I be doing and not doing?? Are we doing things right....it seems fast but I don't mind and he doesn't either.
Last week I was a single virgin without any serious relationship history at 25 years old. Wednesday I met a cute guy on Grindr, Thursday we hooked up and I lost my v card, Friday I flew back home 1000 miles away (I was visiting for work and didn't expect to find a partner), Saturday we decided we didn't want this to end, Sunday we defined a relationship that we are exclusively seeing each other, and the past two days we've been having 3 hour Skype dates and we've been texting and calling like crazy. We're practically boyfriends in early dating stages. I'm now flying to visit him next month and he's coming down here. We're going to meet each other's friends and family.
I have everything imaginable in common with this person, even relationship strategy and communication. Were sexually compatible, we are so similar, I'm floored. This is extraordinary luck.
We said we wouldn't move fast to protect ourselves but things are just organically progressing efficiently. I'm not naive to believe that this relationship will be my first and only forever, but we're both willing to make it work at this point.
What should I be doing and not doing?? Are we doing things right....it seems fast but I don't mind and he doesn't either.
Blitzrules240
Banned
So to my surprise, I got a text from her this afternoon. I hadn't made contact since Friday so it was nice to see her respond back. Have "potential" plans for Sunday. I said Friday but her Mom is visiting again. idk why she can't leave the house for a bit while her Mom is here but OK...
Not gonna overthink this or get upset if it goes South on me again. I'm still interested in her but I gotta play it cooler.
Not gonna overthink this or get upset if it goes South on me again. I'm still interested in her but I gotta play it cooler.
AlephAlpha
Member
The only thing I can tell you is that long distance relationships don't work. Even if it seems like you are made for each other, chances of it working out over this distance is like winning the lottery three times in a row. (speaking as someone who tried and got burned)
My best friend has been in a long distance relationship for 5 years and now they live in the same city and are getting married and I have another friend who got married to someone on a different continent after a year and only 3 physical visits and my roommate married his wife after they lived in separate cities for a year so....sorry I know at least one success story for every failure story. Depends on the couple.
You are both way overinvested after just one date, especially if you are already scheduling to meet friends and family.
I'm just saying to proceed with caution. Losing your virginity to this guy has probably clouded your judgment at least somewhat. One date and Skype chats still don't show you truly who this person is.
I'm just saying to proceed with caution. Losing your virginity to this guy has probably clouded your judgment at least somewhat. One date and Skype chats still don't show you truly who this person is.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
There's no such thing as "moving too fast" if it feels right for both of you. Enjoy the moment.
Just don't do anything too rash.
Just don't do anything too rash.
Kung Fu Jedi
Member
Count me a success story. My wife and I met while traveling in Australia. At the time, I was living in Austin, TX and she was in Nashville, TN. We made it work as best we could, saw each other as regularly as possible, and eventually I made the move to be with her. We're coming up on our first anniversary in a couple of weeks. Couldn't be happier. Best decision I've ever made.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
I am going to be the pessimist and tell you both to slow down. I have been in 2 long distance relationships and they both ended in disaster. When the other person is in another state/time zone, things are great. Usually when you get together in person, all the incompatibilities and annoying habits show their face. All that is either hidden or easily ignored when you are miles and miles apart.
All the naysayers may be wrong and your situation may end up being perfect. But slow down and wait until you actually get to know this person before investing so much emotionally.
Yep 😅
Not really I had fun
Besides I'm only 20 so I don't feel like it was too out of the norm
Thank you everyone for your advice. I understand. I expect that my head is up in the clouds because I lost my virginity, but I am trying my best to remain grounded and realistic. Any relationship could explode and disappear next week, but right now things are going great. I plan to be flexible and optimistic but also open to the real challenges of long distance relationships. Our friends want to meet us which wouldn't be for another 1-2 months anyway so that's why we were talking about it...double dates and stuff.
I'm spending 4 days with him end of July and then he's coming here the month after that.
I'm not kidding when I say we have everything in common. I'm sure there's quirks about each of us that would be annoying, but I'm hopeful that I can be tolerant of that.
I'm spending 4 days with him end of July and then he's coming here the month after that.
I'm not kidding when I say we have everything in common. I'm sure there's quirks about each of us that would be annoying, but I'm hopeful that I can be tolerant of that.
Yeah, that wasn't out of the norm Try losing your virginity at 27 (I got oral at 25 so I guess that counts) and it was fun for me as well. If I had the knowledge and experience that I have now back when I was 20, I would have been getting dates left and right! It's been 10 months since then so I'm probably rusty but that last girl taught me a lot of things. You're only going to get better over time.
Cross-post from the Online-Dating thread:
Jhoan said:
ZackieChan
Member
n64coder
Member
Glad that you're getting out there and having fun. I was a bit of a late bloomer myself and I will cringe remembering some of the dates that I had as a teen. I was much better in college and then continued to improve with age.
I don't know what that means. I'm not trying to push you.
I never said that. I have made several friends this year I had very little before, I'm proud of that, what's wrong with that?
this thread isn't doing a lot to help me deal with confidence issues. lost two hours of sleep over these posts when I could have done so much
this is why I should stop posting here honestly it just makes me feel badI didn't a lot of interacting before this year, yes. thanks. For the past six months I have taken acting classes, yoga lessons, chess lessons, I have been to parties, to drinks/diners with friends, etc... If I ask a lot of questions it's because I have not a lot of confidence in me, and I stress out easy. I generally do not stress out when messaging someone, I am reserved.
I have trouble communicating here very clearly because I'm afraid of betraying the trust of the person I'm in contact with, it doesn't feel right to talk about this kind of thing in public.
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
Do I need to give up my man card? I did what GAF said, found a new girl messaged her a few times, and went out to eat. Now, we just a finished eating and she wants to get soemthing to drink and a room for the night. But I just can't do it. It took me a long ass time to get to this point with the last person I was with, but it happened when it felt right. Everything felt natural, I was happy, and it was relaxed.
But goddamnit, I can't do this. I can't do a one date fling. I know I shouldn't be complaining, and it sounds good on paper. But it doesn't feel right. She's cute and all, we kinda have similar interests, but its not the time, and I gotta say no.
But goddamnit, I can't do this. I can't do a one date fling. I know I shouldn't be complaining, and it sounds good on paper. But it doesn't feel right. She's cute and all, we kinda have similar interests, but its not the time, and I gotta say no.
Gotdatmoney
Member
You just met this person. No matter how much you have in common or how well you get along you've been on 1 date and you live very far apart. Slow down. You don't need to stop but slow your roll son, being exclusive after one date with the first person you had sex with who lives 1000 miles away. Does this sound totally reasonable to you reading it out loud?
ShipTheCheese
Member
So, you go to this thread for dating advice, which leads to success (nice going btw!), yet you refuse to gain the profits because... reasons?
*sigh*
Why does it have to be a one date fling dude? Keep talking to her after and it could turn into something really great. You never know.
Thanks! I have another cross-post date update below. I graduated from high school exactly ten years ago and two days ago. It's crazy to think that I'm not the same person I was when I was 18 and socially awkward as sin/insecure as well as being scared of girls. I don't even remember too as to what I was like at 18 but I remember reading a lot of online advice and being very idealistic as well as a misfit.
It doesn't have to lead to that if you don't want it to. I'm a firm believer of going with the flow so ride it out and see where it goes.
Cross-post from the Online Dating thread:
Jhoan said:
So do what instead? Because right now I found a great person that I don't mind being exclusive to while we figure things out.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
So if shes been at work all day on the Friday the polite thing is to offer to take her out for food as well as drinks right?
ZackieChan
Member
First date? Just make the meeting for drinks a couple hours after she gets off work, so she has time to get food herself. Don't feel responsible to feed her.
You really need to pm a mod to change your username.
Sorry dude. I know I'm a dick sometimes. I just feel like you aren't learning anything if you have to ask about every part of dating. Sometimes you need to make mistakes and learn things on your own. Think on your feet.
Getting good at dating won't happen overnight. You need to go on a bunch of dates to get over your nervousness and become who you really are. You'll get there.
We all like you and want to support your efforts. We got your back. Just try to ask less vague questions. That will help you in your dating efforts, as well. Be more assertive and think on your feet. Apply the lessons from your past questions to future scenarios - the principles are the same.
Thanks it's a great post man, I appreciate it.
I realize I haven't been treating this thread with the proper respect - I really should think twice before dumping vague questions and insecurities and I think it isn't necessarily pleasant to read.
I guess I ask dumb questions here as sort of "safety net" before wanting to try it "irl" but yeah I don't think it's the proper way to go about it.
Thanks.
I realize I haven't been treating this thread with the proper respect - I really should think twice before dumping vague questions and insecurities and I think it isn't necessarily pleasant to read.
I guess I ask dumb questions here as sort of "safety net" before wanting to try it "irl" but yeah I don't think it's the proper way to go about it.
Thanks.
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