I found this really nice little French cafe on my front door step though, like you said, it's nice to explore. I hope if there's a 2nd we go to her city since it's a really nice place there.
No text back yet, but I'm playing it cool. She didn't text especially frequently before the date. I hope she responds, but if not no foul.
I know this is a tad bold of me to assume this, but I get the feeling that you might be playing it cool in front of us as well. Your previous post, in particular, is why I have that feeling.
"Yeah that's true enough. She hasn't messaged me yet, so I'm just going to forget about it for the time being. Really beautiful girl though, like so pretty."
To me, it seems as though you're still trying to convince yourself not to feel awestruck by implementing that 'play it cool' approach as more of a mental trick instead of a natural state of being.
Don't get me wrong, I applaud you for trying to be mindful of getting carried away. As we've seen from several other posters, a lot of people don't quite have the element of self-awareness buttoned down. However, it's crucial that you also become aware that heightened hope and vulnerability can bleed through your 'play it cool' strategy at any given moment. In fact, that's why I bolded both "I hope" parts of your most recent post. In a way, you're already showing a few subtle signs of wrestling with yourself.
Now look, is it a crime to hope for the best? Of course not. Believe me, it's better to be hopeful than to become the next in a long line of cynics, downers and pessimists that expect the worst. So, my point isn't that you shouldn't be hopeful. Rather, it's to implore you to try and identify where that feeling of hope is truly coming from. Hope should never come from a place of insecurity, uncertainty, or vulnerability. When we start feeling those three things, that's typically when we start building that rickety 'play it cool' wall around our feelings; to try convincing ourselves we'll be fine regardless even though deep down, we're not really sure.
Instead, your hope should be sourced from a place of healthy, calm confidence.
Look at what you've learned about yourself from just this one date. Even if it doesn't work out in the long run, you now know that you're fully and completely capable of meeting women as attractive as this one. No need to be awestruck. No need to view these opportunities as scarce and seldom. You've proven that you've got the chops to date gorgeous looking women, and that you'll be able to do so again in the future. That's where the calm confidence comes into play.
Then, you can set your bar even higher by shifting your hope to something like "I hope to date women that are even more attractive and well-suited for me in the future." See the difference between that line of thinking and the "I really hope we have a second date" line of thinking?
Point is, don't just relegate your hope to the here and now. Let it roam freely into all aspects of your self-confidence and goals. Then, you'll never have to "play it cool" again. You'll just
be cool, naturally.
Anyway, hope this helps you in some way, man. Good luck!
and good luck, long distance is very hard to make it work.
