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[L*][*N*K]

My advice, never let anyone to have that type of power over you, love and relationships are all good and all but everything comes to an end don't put so much of your life on another person and don't use video games as a way to deal with your mental issues find help and help yourself, best of luck to you buddy.

 

[Nankatsu]

Hang in there brother.

There was a time in my life where I had a brief crisis of anxiety / depression for a whole year, right before covid started.

Barely left home, was on medical leave during the entire time.

Tried going into a therapist and doing medication to help, but didn't help. Specially the medication, I felt like a walking zombie.

Eventually I managed to get myself back up, with my family being my pillar. Hope you can hang on such pillar too.

There's nothing wrong with gaming during such crisis, just make sure you're able to allow yourself to do other things, specially outside.

And most of all respect yourself and accept that being alone isn't anything wrong.

Don't expect everything to go away. You need time to heal mentally and retrieve the lessons you need to in order to move forward.

 

[DragonNCM]

You need to control your feelings, you are 42 & by now you probably know that best thing you can do is tell to yourself is "FUCK HER".
Don't spend time alone, you need to speak with your friends & family, they are your only support in this moments.
I will not recommend gaming as depression escape, basically you are alone & you don't speak with anyone.
If you don't have trustworthy friends go to mental therapist, also you had this depression from your early age so maybe it is hormone disbalance.
It will be good if you consult mental health professionals for an aid.
Be strong man.....it is only another bump on the road !!!

 

[The Cockatrice]

Videogames are just a hobby. They are not a solution.

I disagree completely. Games are a very healthy solution to overcome anything bad in life.

 

[damidu]

you should have enough experience by now, to know overwhelming feelings over relationships will mean nothing in couple of years.
that knowledge alone is the biggest anti-depressant, (and honestly one of the few perks of aging)

 

[mathello]

I overcame trauma with weed and now i'm emotionally addicted to the drug and to enjoy videogames I have to smoke.

 

[winjer]

I disagree completely. Games are a very healthy solution to overcome anything bad in life.

No. Games are a good way to abstract ourselves from reality. To get some respite from the hardships of life. And this has value, as it allows us to rest and recharge.
But it doesn't solve problems. In fact, if used to ignore problems, it just makes them worse.

EDIT: Welcome back. Good to see you posting again.

 

[Branded]

Become a gymcel like the rest of us. It will clear your depression like snow in the sun.

Take creatine, go hard, get fit, find new woman, become fat and complacent again, rinse and repeat. Good luck brother!

 

[Gonzito]

No. Games are a good way to abstract ourselves from reality. To get some respite from the hardships of life. And this has value, as it allows us to rest and recharge.
But it doesn't solve problems. In fact, if used to ignore problems, it just makes them worse.

Nah I dont agree. Videogames are an amazing tool to overcome anxiety, sadness or depression and I say this from my own experience. They can help some people a lot in hard situations

I think you are in the wrong here papi but I don't think that argue here will help OP either so I dont see a reason to discuss this further

 

[The Cockatrice]

No. Games are a good way to abstract ourselves from reality. To get some respite from the hardships of life. And this has value, as it allows us to rest and recharge.
But it doesn't solve problems. In fact, if used to ignore problems, it just makes them worse.

EDIT: Welcome back. Good to see you posting again.

Until we die, everything we do is to escape reality. Reality will never get "fixed". It's a mechanical flaw. As they say, ignorance is bliss and as I'm getting older, I tend to agree that ignorant people are the happiest until they die.

Thank you, glad to be back, for now )

 

[Killjoy-NL]

The moment you realize every woman (or man) is replaceable, life becomes a lot brighter.

Most importantly is it to accept that there will be times when you're unhappy and learn to be content with being alone.

Everything in life is a phase that goes either up or down and nothing is constant.

 

[Draugoth]

Same boat here, been suffering from severe depression over the past 4 years, got worse recently.

Playing video games dont bring me joy anymore unless the game is extraordinary (Elden Ring, The Last of Us Part 2)

Most of the time i barely sleep, eat or play

 

[Angry_Megalodon]

When my cat died 5 years ago I got very depressed, I still miss him. I wasn't in the mood for playing videogames or writing, but a rythm game like Muse Dash did help me a lot.

 

[Juja]

I know a lot of people have said being sad over a girl isn't worth it, but I understand that you don't get to choose how you feel.

I'm having similar problems these days, but for very different reasons. My cat that I've had since he was a kitten (18 years) and my mother I've had my whole life (more than 18 years) are both not doing very well. So, I try distract with video games at night, but it doesn't really work, so I find myself hopping between games all night. I usually stick to 1 game at a time until I beat it, but I've found myself jumping between 5-10 games a night recently.

I have no idea if you've seen the show, and I couldn't find any quality image memes online, but as Mr. Jellineck said on Strangers with Candy "I'm gonna feel these feelings!"

 

[azertydu91]

As someone that's battling with depression and suicidal thoughts I can only give you my experience and hope that it can help.Most people will tell you that there's plenty of fish in the sea and that you'll find someone else and they are right but now may not be a period when you are receptive to that kind of message which is normal, because so far hope can't alleviate pain.That kind of emptiness you are feeling, the lack of energy for anything , the lack of will to do anything, everything seem impossible.The only things that worked for me and you probably won't like it, but it was to go out, meet new people, not particularly to date or even make friends but that helped me, the other thing that helped me is a friend that was not softballing the thing and kicked my ass to do things.
It will not work from day1 of course, but you'll surprise yourself by laughing sometimes, even when doing things you weren't really looking forward to do.I think an important part is to not be alone...Loneliness gives you too much time to think,overanalyse in a stressing and depressing loop.
So yeah even if it seems fucking impossible and that you'd rather let yourself die go out and do things or invite friends over.Talk about anything if you are not comfortable talking about what is hapenning to you.It will be exhausting , believe me, but it will give you a bit of time to heal and move on.Each laugh will be a step toward a better mental health.you have to keep fighting for a bit because it will come in waves until you get better.
I haven't overcame it yet right now I'm in a kind of low period, so not that great, but now I know it will pass and that time help, even though all those people that told me that didn't help at the time, they were right .... fuck them for being right when I wasn't able to see it.
So I can just advise you to meet people, spend time with friends, do what you don't want to do, time in itself is not helping if you are constantly thinking about the past do activities where you don't have time to think.It feels like lifting a fucking mountain but it'll get easier, it will take time and effort and that's the worst part .Doing anything when the only thing you want to do is nothing, not moving, eating or sleeping because you feel like you don't have the energy.But you have it it is only block by a lack of will.
Anyway strenght to you, if you need to talk about it or anything I may not give the best advices but I went trhough something ,let's say similar, and maybe my experience may help you, as someone that has spent a few hours looking at the blade of a knife pondering the pros and cons.
Oh and one thing that helped me too, it is just a phrase but that somehow helped me ...Suicide is a permanent solution to a problem that's only temporary....If you can get something out of that, I know I did but those things are so personal that I don't think I can do better on this subject.
But yeah in the future sometimes you'll be happy playing, you'll laugh and some day will be harder on you, you just have to power through it.Mostly because I dont know what else to do.

 

[p_xavier]

Hi guys, I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but here goes!

I had problems with women and fell into a deep depression, where I couldn't eat, shower or walk. I hurt myself, bad thoughts you know what they are.

I few days ago I'm better, but not that much. It seems like everything has lost its charm, even video games. I can't play, concentrate or be happy with any release.

Have any of you been through a similar situation? Does it go away?

I would like to end by saying that I love this forum and its members, you are wonderful people as I see in the general discussion, like a parallel family!

A big kiss and a hug from your friend MasterDerico!

Love you guys!

I went to rehab many times due to alcohol addiction and was depressed for most of my life, except when I was drinking. We're living in an era where are moral cultures are being destroyed by the neo-marxists. It's their purpose to make you as unhappy as possible so they can rebuild their communist "utopia" (it'l work this time!)

So it's not you it's the effect of social decay. My liver is still in a bad state as my pancreas but they's still slowing healing. I quit gaming forums for a long while cause some where not people me better, actually the opposite. I know partake in urbanism forums which my engineer ocd side can apply solutions to problems and no bad apples there yet. You're right that neogaf is like family, but you can choose your family and for having been a member over 3 decades now it's the most "family' presence in my life.

In case you want to talk in DMs, feel free to do it.

 

[Markio128]

Since my daughter grew up and became more independent, that wally in my avatar pic filled a gap in my life I didn't realise I had - the need to be responsible for something/someone. He needs a couple of hours outdoors each day, so when you add that to work and other commitments, it leaves me with limited time to game. It also leaves me with no time to worry about stuff, and being outdoors can be a real medicine.

I've always been the same. If I ever felt low, especially after a break up, I'd eventually (after a few days of moping around) throw myself into something to keep me busy. Redecorating my room was a good one. It felt like the beginning of a fresh start.

 

[SleepMachine]

Same boat here, been suffering from severe depression over the past 4 years, got worse recently.

Playing video games dont bring me joy anymore unless the game is extraordinary (Elden Ring, The Last of Us Part 2)

Most of the time i barely sleep, eat or play

It's funny how we are all different. Those games (although great games) are precisely the kind of big and bleak games i could not play when in a slump. I bought Elden Ring at release, because i had a brief period of feeling better shortly before launch. But literally a day or so before i got my hands on the game, i took a turn for the worse again.
I then held off playing Elden Ring for a year or so, because i was not in the right headspace for it. I knew i wouldn't enjoy it much if i was to start playing it at that time.

 

[Draugoth]

I know a lot of people have said being sad over a girl isn't worth it, but I understand that you don't get to choose how you feel.

I'm having similar problems these days, but for very different reasons. My cat that I've had since he was a kitten (18 years) and my mother I've had my whole life (more than 18 years) are both not doing very well. So, I try distract with video games at night, but it doesn't really work, so I find myself hopping between games all night. I usually stick to 1 game at a time until I beat it, but I've found myself jumping between 5-10 games a night recently.

I have no idea if you've seen the show, and I couldn't find any quality image memes online, but as Mr. Jellineck said on Strangers with Candy "I'm gonna feel these feelings!"

It's literally engraved into our codes that we need to find a partner to breed and propagate the species, depression is your body telling 'hurry up or i will keep doing this'

 

[Roman Empire]

A big old kiss from your Roman Empire homie. Treat yourself better than anyone else OP, your body is your shrine, and your life is the greatest treasure it resides there. No one is worth it the effort of throwing yourself in the mud like that. Truly, my best regards to you.

 

[viveks86]

Hi guys, I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but here goes!

I had problems with women and fell into a deep depression, where I couldn't eat, shower or walk. I hurt myself, bad thoughts you know what they are.

I few days ago I'm better, but not that much. It seems like everything has lost its charm, even video games. I can't play, concentrate or be happy with any release.

Have any of you been through a similar situation? Does it go away?

I would like to end by saying that I love this forum and its members, you are wonderful people as I see in the general discussion, like a parallel family!

A big kiss and a hug from your friend MasterDerico!

Love you guys!

The fact that you are reaching out here shows that you have the will to get out of it. That's a great sign. I have someone very close who struggled with depression. Video games actually helped a LOT. Any hobby for that matter, should make a massive difference. So if anything you already do isn't working, just try something completely different. Even better if it involves both mind and body.

If nothing proactive works, music can always help. During the worst phase of my life, all I did was close out the world and listen to music. Ranged anywhere from western classical to Iron Maiden.

Try not to rebound with women for a year and try to keep at least one friend or family member close. And if you can afford it, therapy helps. Hang in there. A lot of us struggle with it, so you are definitely not alone. It will go away, if you keep trying

 

[Solarstrike]

You got this. One day at a time. Not going to try to compare or relate but yeah..I know where you're coming from hundred fold. Try to laugh we're all on this ship together and hopefully it don't fukcing sink before we all get to shore

 

[MasterDerico]

Let me tell you something;

In real life, my family(parents) gives me a lot of support, as do some real friends.

I decided to share my pain here on gaf regarding video games.
I knew you guys would say wonderful things to me, I couldn't expect anything less.

But you managed to surprise me with so many words of affection, understanding, friendship, that I'm in shock. You brought a smile to my face that I hadn't had in days. I cried like a baby.

I'm not the type of person who forget what people do for me, and you can be sure, I'll never forget what you guys did today.

And it's mutual, I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for the words. It gives me faith in humanity. So, when you need me, to talk, or anything else, count on me, send me a PM.

Eternal gratitude.
what a wonderful community!!!

 

[Draugoth]

Let me tell you something;

In real life, my family(parents) gives me a lot of support, as do some real friends.

I decided to share my pain here on gaf regarding video games.
I knew you guys would say wonderful things to me, I couldn't expect anything less.

But you managed to surprise me with so many words of affection, understanding, friendship, that I'm in shock. You brought a smile to my face that I hadn't had in days. I cried like a baby.

I'm not the type of person who forget what people do for me, and you can be sure, I'll never forget what you guys did today.

And it's mutual, I thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my heart for the words. It gives me faith in humanity. So, when you need me, to talk, or anything else, count on me, send me a PM.

Eternal gratitude.
what a wonderful community!!!

Suicide is permanent, waiting for Half Life 3 maybe is not

 

[ReBurn]

My depression never got better on its own. I always needed medical support. Once a day Lexapro is what I needed to climb out of my depression and regain the motivation to resume my normal life. There's no shame in asking for help.

 

[MasterDerico]

My depression never got better on its own. I always needed medical support. Once a day Lexapro is what I needed to climb out of my depression and regain the motivation to resume my normal life. There's no shame in asking for help.

I have been undergoing psychotherapy for 26 years, and due to this sudden decline, I am taking 2 antidepressants and 4 anxiolytics per day.

I know what you are going through, my brother!

 

[ReBurn]

I have been undergoing psychotherapy for 26 years, and due to this sudden decline, I am taking 2 antidepressants and 4 anxiolytics per day.

I know what you are going through, my brother!

I wish you all the best. It's a struggle I know all too well. Hang in there!

 

[hououinkyouma00]

I've

Hi guys, I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but here goes!

I had problems with women and fell into a deep depression, where I couldn't eat, shower or walk. I hurt myself, bad thoughts you know what they are.

I few days ago I'm better, but not that much. It seems like everything has lost its charm, even video games. I can't play, concentrate or be happy with any release.

Have any of you been through a similar situation? Does it go away?

I would like to end by saying that I love this forum and its members, you are wonderful people as I see in the general discussion, like a parallel family!

A big kiss and a hug from your friend MasterDerico!

Love you guys!

I've 100% been there. I even attempted suicide in 2017 and I've struggled with anxiety/depression since.

With games it comes and goes for me. Some times I'm banging away at games left and right and I'll finish multiple games in a week and then other times I won't really play games for weeks or if I do I fall off in 15 minutes.

What I've found is the hardest part is getting over "the hump" of actually playing them. Generally I find that if I push myself to play I'll find enjoyment in it but actually getting to the point where I'm playing is the hardest.

Slightly unrelated but I want to share something that helped me a lot. If it comes across preachy I'm sorry as that's not the intention at all.

While I was on medical leave after the attempt I came across a book called Goodbye Things by Fumio Sasaki. It's about minimalism and while the author took a very extreme route he does a great job at stating that minimalism is different for everyone and he goes into why minimalism helps. I got rid of the vast majority of my stuff including a lot of gaming stuff and I found I immediately felt better.

I fall off of it occasionally and I always find that when I do if when the symptoms get worse so I know it wasn't just placebo.

It may not help you at all, but I just wanted to share something that made it a lot easier for me.

 

[Humdinger]

Completely normal to lose interest in videogames (and other things) when you're depressed. That's part of depression (loss of interest in things you previously found enjoyable), and it will change once the depression lifts.

If you've been in therapy 26 years and are still suffering severe bouts of depression that involve self-harm and potential self-deletion, you might look for a different type of therapy. I also don't think being on 4 anxiolytics is a great setup. Anxiolytics are okay short-term but can easily become addictive and make the problem worse if used long-term. Obviously, this is your healthcare and not mine, and I know very little about your situation. I'm just speaking in generalities. Put my advice through all the filters you need to, in order to make a good decision for yourself. Good luck.

 

[_Ex_]

I'm kinda oldish and have been through some considerable shit in life. My advice take it or leave it:

I recommend:
Walking/hiking/relaxing in/camping around in nature, the less humans around the better, the best therapy there is.
Prioritize spending time with family on a regular basis.
Boil down your "friends" group (the vast majority are just acquaintances) to only the 1-3 actual real friends worth your time, and only put energy into those relationships. Lose the rest as they are just wasting your time and energy.
Get regular exercise, even if it's just walking 30 minutes a day.
Take quality multivitamin, mineral, and probiotic supplements daily.
Get at absolute bare minimum at least 6 quality hours of sleep per night.
Read an actual book (physical preferably) daily.
Have a dog and treat it well.

Things that are fun but won't magically make you happy all the time:
Video games and entertainment hobbies in general.
Romantic/intimate relationships (not saying to not have them, am saying temper expectations).
Binging streaming media.
Masturbation.
Credit cards.

Things you should never do:
SSRIs.
Alcohol, drugs, abusing prescription meds, self-medicating in general.
Over-indulging in any hobby or interest (moderation in all things).
Social media.
Marriage.

I have read ~100 personal improvement books over the past few decades and the top 3 I recommend are:

Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life by Larry Winget (the best personal improvement book ever written)

https://www.amazon.com/Shut-Stop-Whining-Get-Life/dp/1118024516/

Why You're Dumb, Sick and Broke...And How to Get Smart, Healthy and Rich! by Randy Gage

https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Dumb-Broke-Smart-Healthy/dp/111854868X/

Goals! How to Get Everything You Want Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible by Brian Tracy

https://www.amazon.com/Goals-Third-Everything-Thought-Possible/dp/B0CX19DXSX/

Those books are worth their weight in gold. Everyone who can read should read them. Those who can read but do not are willfully ignorant and deserve the unhappy life willful ignorance creates.

 

[kingkenny76]

Hi guys, I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but here goes!

I had problems with women and fell into a deep depression, where I couldn't eat, shower or walk. I hurt myself, bad thoughts you know what they are.

I few days ago I'm better, but not that much. It seems like everything has lost its charm, even video games. I can't play, concentrate or be happy with any release.

Have any of you been through a similar situation? Does it go away?

I would like to end by saying that I love this forum and its members, you are wonderful people as I see in the general discussion, like a parallel family!

A big kiss and a hug from your friend MasterDerico!

Love you guys!

(And yeah..I have been undergoing psychotherapy for 26 years, and due to this sudden decline, I am taking 2 antidepressants and 4 anxiolytics per day)

Have a listen to the song Hi Ren. See if it resonates with you. Always remember You'll Never Walk Alone

"When I was 17 years old, I shouted out into an empty room
Into a blank canvas, that I would defeat the forces of evil
And for the next ten years of my life, I suffered the consequences
With autoimmunity, illness, and psychosis
As I got older, I realised that there were no real winners
And there were no real losers in physiological warfare
But there were victims and there were students
It wasn't David versus Goliath, it was a pendulum
Eternally swayin' from the dark to the light
And the more intensely that the light shone, the darker the shadow it cast
It was never really a battle for me to win, it was an eternal dance
And like a dance, the more rigid I became, the harder it got
The more I cursed my clumsy footsteps, the more I struggled
So I got older and I learned to relax
And I learned to soften and that dance got easier
It is this eternal dance that separates human beings
From angels, from demons, from gods
And I must not forget, we must not forget
That we are human beings"

 

[Boneless]

I find that when my life is troubled, I struggle to enjoy games. They are best enjoyed in peace time when everything is well and good.

It will get better, time is the best medicine.

To get you there, go and grab life by the balls my friend, workout, go outside, do stuff, you can do this.

 

[Corporal.Hicks]

Some people have good reasons for feeling depressed, such as having a terminal illness or grieving the loss of a loved one. Most people however can do something about their situation, so their happiness is in their own hands.

I have noticed that many unhappy people either have no dreams or do nothing to fulfil their dreams, so their inner guidance system (their emotions) simply reminds them that they are heading in the wrong direction. My advice is, find a dream, visallize it (Neville Goddart way), and watch how your life change for better.

As for games, they can be a good way of relaxation, but they can also be a way of numbing your feelings (pain). If your life is in a bad place, try to limit your gaming seasons and work towards your dream life instead.

 

[p_xavier]

Hang in there brother.

There was a time in my life where I had a brief crisis of anxiety / depression for a whole year, right before covid started.

Barely left home, was on medical leave during the entire time.

Tried going into a therapist and doing medication to help, but didn't help. Specially the medication, I felt like a walking zombie.

Eventually I managed to get myself back up, with my family being my pillar. Hope you can hang on such pillar too.

There's nothing wrong with gaming during such crisis, just make sure you're able to allow yourself to do other things, specially outside.

And most of all respect yourself and accept that being alone isn't anything wrong.

Don't expect everything to go away. You need time to heal mentally and retrieve the lessons you need too in order to move forward.

The meds ruined my liver more than alcohol ever did, I had gained nearly 60lbs on medication for anxiety. I get tetany attacks that can kiil me if I get too angry. I understand what you went through.

 

[IAmRei]

yea, I won.
back at 2018, i got backstabbed with my team. only three people remains including me.
I was broken at the time. I played Dragon's dogma, considered it as Isekai.
was cured in Cassardis, the first village. feels like long lost home. and got Immersified at the game, finishing twice in one month.
still consider the game as one of the best game ever, since it's cure me from depression.

the next month, i am ready to create new studio, and it still here since that day.
expanded into 14 people right now, and still alive and kicking.

that game cures my depression and I thanks dragon dogma for all these time <3

 

[JPSLotus97T]

OP, I have bipolar disorder, PTSD, GAD, and I am a recovering alcoholic.

Gaming doesn't fix bipolar depression at all for me. I game less during those periods. When I was manic, gaming took on a whole different meaning for me in terms of purchases and finishing games. I probably saved myself from worse fates just by being glued to the TV, racking up gaming purchases. Now the problem is I have so many games that it's starting to feel like I'll never finish all of them because of how large my backlog has become. It's not even current gen stuff I buy for, I buy a lot of stuff for consoles that have come out in the past 40 years.

I'll echo what others have said, don't let women get you down. You're in therapy, work on that there. I used to be this way, same as you. I left it all behind one day because I realized there was more to life. The right woman should add to your life, not take away from it. Desperation for these things leads to bad relationships...and none of that will make you feel any better. I'd rather be single and alone than in a miserable relationship which I've already experienced. If you are single, enjoy the free time you have for gaming, or let it come to you when you are feeling okay. Don't force it, or feel that you need to game just because its a hobby of yours. I've taken months long breaks over the years, but I always wind up back to gaming.

 

[Shubh_C63]

I am actually going through what I think is my worst phase in my life, depression and everything.

Finally uninstalled 1.5TB of games. To me they are way too good of an escapism that actively blocks me to better myself.

 

[nnytk]

.

I disagree completely. Games are a very healthy solution to overcome anything bad in life.

You are both wrong and right as far as I'm concerned. Nuance is key. Balance is key. Gaming can be good, it can be therapeutic, but it can also become an unhealthy form of escapism. It depends on the situation, the person, the specifics.

Balance is key.

...

Sorry to hear what you're going through, OP. I struggle with anxiety and overthinking too—games help me focus and unwind.

That said, I've learned true rest is important too. Today I just drew in the garden and watched clouds—it felt more meaningful than any hour of Metaphor (which I've been trying to enjoy, but can't quite get into).

Games can be amazing, but balance is key. I used to be hooked on vanilla WoW, but I've since found joy in other things too—manga, wellness books, the gym, and nature.

I've only had one real depressive episode, when switching from my regular diet to Paleo for a while, 12 years ago, so I won't pretend to fully relate. But keep talking about your feelings, experiences, sharing, getting together with others, and embrace what brings you real joy. If that's gaming—awesome. Just don't lose yourself in it.

And also, your last paragraph is intense dude, kudos for being strong like that and keeping at it.

 

[simpatico]

Totally normal man. Just work on self care. Go day by day. If there's a focus, make on showering and eating well. Splurge on your favorite meals because you probably don't have much of an appetite. Slowly add in some exercise. The good feels will creep back in. Time outdoors is a big one too. Spring for a nice massage, the human contact will be a nice bonus.

I remember during my most depressive stints after a divorce, I ate a ribeye and it hit me like drugs. Not only did I have a full belly, but I felt like I took painkillers. This was like 15 years ago and I still remember how that steak tasted. Before that I'd just been eating ramen and frozen shit. Really convinced me to start eating better which I attribute to getting me out of that slump. 15 years later I'm remarried in a much better situation and my salary has more than doubled. Only real downside is AAA gaming has gone to shit, but that's a trade I'll make any day.

Remind yourself that what you're feeling now is just a future memory.

 

[Jigsaah]

Distractions help. Productive distractions. When I broke up with my girlfriend I focused on my career, started a business and failed in that business. The silver lining is I was so preoccupied with the business that by time it failed, I ended up being over my ex. Went strongish for 2 years. Covid ended up being the Achilles heel. Since then I've dated a bit, but I've come to appreciate the peace that being single brings. If your woman did not supply a similar peace to when you were single then you may want to consider what's most important. Get a girl that helps you maintain your peace.

 

[kiphalfton]

Things that might help (in order of most helpful imo):

- Not re-exposing yourself to thing that broke you
- Exercising and weightlifting
- Sleep (getting enough sleep, not oversleeping, and going to bed at reasonable time)
- Eating right (cutting out junk food, and eliminating drugs or alcohol altogether)
- Going outside on daily basis (and getting sun)
- Surrounding self with positive people
- Therapy
- Etc.

 

[Hot5pur]

If you have childhood trauma from being abused or neglected you may need to work on inner wounds. A lot of the time it's the source of depression and anxiety, and it may be the reason you have trouble in relationships.

If your troubles came about more as an adult and you had a relatively happy childhood, then you can focus on self care like diet, exercise, friends, hobbies. It's also ok to feel your feelings and grieve your losses with women and not be too hard on yourself. Crying and maybe asking for a friend to listen to you vent is totally fine. You may just need some time to process the pain which is healthy.

 

[Arsic]

Play animal well.

Depression cured.

 

[Gp1]

Is everything else's ok?
Financially stable? No problems at work? Physically ok/doing your exercises?

My advice would be get your ass up, (I know is hard), and get that endorphin going with some exercise. Get a 3 months plan in one of those all-included gyms and try something new until you find something you like. (running, weights, fighting, swimming, crossfit, climbing, anything... But try something in group first. You can even explain your situation to the instructors and I'm sure someone will sympathize with you.)
If you can go for a month without a break, I'm sure you'll find something that you like, meet some new faces and you will be better that before both physically and mentally.

 

[Neolombax]

I'm not personally going through anything similar to what yourself or others have gone through, but I'm trying to help a few others around me battle theirs. I'll echo what others have suggested, exercise and keep active. I personally play video games to distract myself while I sort myself mentally to prepare for the next day, but its just that, a distraction. I wish you all the best.

 

[Aenima]

Hi guys, I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but here goes!

I had problems with women and fell into a deep depression, where I couldn't eat, shower or walk. I hurt myself, bad thoughts you know what they are.

I few days ago I'm better, but not that much. It seems like everything has lost its charm, even video games. I can't play, concentrate or be happy with any release.

Have any of you been through a similar situation? Does it go away?

I would like to end by saying that I love this forum and its members, you are wonderful people as I see in the general discussion, like a parallel family!

A big kiss and a hug from your friend MasterDerico!

Love you guys!

(And yeah..I have been undergoing psychotherapy for 26 years, and due to this sudden decline, I am taking 2 antidepressants and 4 anxiolytics per day)

Stay strong brother.

Never been depressed as bad as you, bitches gonna be bitches and i just end bouncing back after some time, so yes, it does go away with time. Playing videogames is proven to help with depression and it always helped me the most as it takes my mind of things. So thats what i recommend you to do, try find some games that you find the most enjoyable and the more imersive they are the better. If games are not working, try other activities like other members sugested, the more your mind is not thinking about how depressed you are because person A or B, the better you feel and the faster you heal.

Hope you feel better fast, and once again, STAY STRONG!

 

[MasterDerico]

Do you know what's most beautiful about this thread?

People telling me about their problems, their struggles, their battles, to try to help me and show me that I'm not alone.

I'll never get tired of thanking you guys.

It's not because it's mine, but this was the most human thread I've ever seen on gaf.

And I haven't even mentioned the countless private messages of support I received...

Thank you again, you really helped me. Each one of you!

 

[DenchDeckard]

Hey OP.

Thanks for sharing.

Take your time, I know it can be so tough but I think its really good to try and change your way of thinking in these situations. If you are beating yourself up. Take time for yourself. Breath slowly and almost try to meditate and say to yourself you are good enough. Take things slowly. Motivate yourself to have a walk. With some headphones on. Listen to music or an audio book. Try to look outwards and be in the moment. Take in nature or rub your hands across a wall while walking and really think about your surroundings and how amazing the world is.

Not the created commercial mess humans have made but nature etc.

Honestly, I know it's easy to say but try to forget about women right now. It's time to think about you. Think about what's made you happy and what you can do that you enjoy.

Just take things slowly and remember you are good enough!

All the best fellow Gaf friend!

 

[TheGodfather07]

I disagree completely. Games are a very healthy solution to overcome anything bad in life.

Hobbies are important for sure. Gaming was a great relief for me during difficult times in my life. Looking back I now remember those periods fondly. Depressed and unable to sleep playing videogames in the dead of the night.

 

[Forth]

Think about yourself first, look after yourself first but never forget that helping others also helps yourself, that's why helping others can sometimes be a selfish act.
Also pay closer attention to everything around you and you'll be absolutely bloody amazed why things are the way they are.
The world will not be a better place if you're not in it.
I'm not a religious man but it blows me away sometimes when I pay closer attention to the little things.
Look after yourself and PM me if you want someone to talk to.