Support NeoGAF

[kikkis]

People always have said to me I should maintain better eye contact during discussion, its good manners and most importantly you can see what other person is feeling and thinking from their face. I have always maintained this intuitive thought that from voice its easier to interpret what other people are feeling than facial expression. That and the fact I tend to miss what people are saying when trying to maintain eye contact, and lose train of thought when speaking myself. Turns out there is some studies that align with my thoughts: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/does_your_voice_reveal_more_emotion_than_your_face

Do you guys maintain eye contact easily or is it more or less for forced for you?

Also do you think that study has validity in terms that from voice its easier to feel the other person than from face?

 

[I collect VHS tapes]

I maintain eye contact. I like to stare directly into the windows of the soul of whomever I’m speaking with.

 

[Cyberpunkd]

I have always maintained this intuitive thought that from voice its easier to interpret what other people are feeling than facial expression.

As many things regarding intuition this factually wrong - people get about 10% from the content of what you are saying, 20-30% from your tone of voice, the rest is body language.

 

[fran.fernandez]

Yes , until I realize I’m making eye contact and stop

 

[ParaSeoul]

 

[nush]

Face your autism head on OP.

Autism and eye contact | Autism Speaks

Experts answer a question from parents about autism eye contact and how they can help encourage their autistic son to use this social skill.

www.autismspeaks.org

 

[Dark Star]

I don't have a hard time doing so, and consciously try to maintain eye contact when I'm talking to someone. It's easier to pick on social cues when your eyes are connected, makes people feel like you're engaged with that they're saying. I find that it's easiest when talking to friends or people I'm cool with, even strangers and randoms people I meet in life.

There are times where I don't feel comfortable or at ease, like when I'm having a difficult conversation with someone, or trying to explain something complicated, and that might cause my eyes to dart around the room or look at the floor or ceiling. Kind of like when distant family visits for the holidays and starts interrogating you about school/work/job/career stuff and you just want to disappear lol. Definitely the hardest when you're put on the spot in front of a large group.

 

[Ulysses 31]

 

[prinz_valium]

Partially. Some is okay, 100% is so creepy.

 

[Mossybrew]

Partially. Some is okay, 100% is so creepy.

Yeah, there's a natural amount of eye contact, and a natural amount of looking away. Too much eye contact is gonna make you seem weird.

 

[GymWolf]

I maintain eye contact. I like to stare directly into the windows of the soul of whomever I’m speaking with.

How do you do that with people who has crooked eyes?

 

[I collect VHS tapes]

How do you do that with people who has crooked eyes?

I focus in on one eye (srs)

 

[Zeroing]

I maintain eye contact. I like to stare directly into the windows of the soul of whomever I’m speaking with.

 

[MachRc]

I sometimes think about staring at their nose since they say it will make the other person seem like youre making eye contact.

Then I realize I have no problem looking into their eyes.

Then I remind myself in my head while the conversation is going, to try my best not to look at their boobs.

 

[SlimySnake]

You might be on the spectrum OP. I have seen this mostly in autistic people. Some training/therapy might help here. You are 100% spot on about missing what people are saying due to avoiding eye contact.

I was always shy growing up, but i never had any issues maintaining eye contact with girls, friends, colleagues, and random strangers during conversation. It's not a shy thing.

 

[Pagusas]

yes... I just have the problem I can never figure out which eye to look at. Its annoying. How does everyone deal with that? What eye do you look at? If I try to look at both I feel like I go cross eyed.

 

[haxan7]

I do what comes naturally. Sometimes I maintain eye contact, sometimes I don't. It's usually a mix of making eye contact and looking away.

 

[Catphish]

I do, but I'm mindful to not bore into someone's eyes, especially if I sense they're not comfortable with it. If I sense that the continued eye contact is flustering them, I'll blink and nod a little to ease the tension.

However, I can usually pick up on if someone is using their eye contact as a challenge or superiority play. In those circumstances, I match stare for stare, no issues.

Under normal circumstances, I naturally like to break eye contact when speaking, especially if I'm thinking something through, which gives us both a break.

The wild card here is big boobs. When faced with those, I have to force myself to maintain rigid eye contact, and that can have all kinds of odd consequences, not the least of which is anxiety over potentially telegraphed thoughts.

Friggin boobies really are a fucking headtrip for me. I go from wiseman to blithering idiot in zero seconds.

 

[dr_octagon]

 

[niilokin]

depends on person im talking to... with pretty girls I get really self conscious and I start thinking am I actually staring now

lol what's worse is when someone you are talking to just slightly shifts their gaze up or down and then I'm thinking "it's the pen, I held it too close to my face... I have hitler moustache or unibrown now"

 

[SJRB]

 

[DeafTourette]

No. I find it really difficult most of the time. Because of my hearing loss, I focus on the lips mostly. Or just off to the side of the face. I can still see what their face looks like and emotion and all that. I have to be extremely close to you to look in your eyes or at least head on to your face.

 

[SafeOrAlone]

I think it's a good question, because I do what most people do - balance looking into their eyes with looking elsewhere, but it's definitely a conscious thing unless it's someone I'm really comfortable with.

 

[Rockondevil]

I generally don’t make eye contact the entire time. I’ll look at their eyes but when they look at mine I usually look away.

Dunno why it is, just feels weird.

 

[JimmyRustler]

I‘m a bit weird in that regard. I usually maintain a near to 100% eye contact when someone is talking to me but when I am the one talking I tend to look away very often.

For everyone having issues with holding eye contact while listening I have a tip that should greatly help you in many ways. Stare directly into the pupils and pay attention to them. Found it much easier to keep the eye contact that way. A plus along the way is that it tells you if the person you are talking to is attracted to you. If they like you, pupils tend to dialate. I personally grew really fond of paying attention to that.

 

[Kamina]

 

[DeceptiveAlarm]

I always maintain eye contact with one on one meetings or with customers. Now once I've met a customer and I'm working I'll focus on what I'm doing and make small talk if that's what they want. If they ask a important question I'll stop and re focus on them.

If it's a friend and I sitting around bullshiting I don't stare at him the entire time no.

Short interactions, greetings, important conversations. You should make eye contact during these things.

 

[ÆMNE22A!C]

As long as socially necessary

Autisme (I guess) needs my full attention at what's being said. Eye contact plus facial expressions give me less focus regarding the auditory information. I mostly explain the latter in professional situations. Because it can come over as being disinterested.

Yes I'm single

 

[Facism]

I don't even maintain eye-contact during sex ;_;

 

[Kenpachii]

Never i look everywhere but the eyes. Mostly next towards them.

 

[chromhound]

Only during sex while i talk shit with the timbs on

 

[West Texas CEO]

If I'm wearing sunglasses, yes.

 

[YukiOnna]

It depends on the person. If it's a stranger, my introvert side kicks in and we're going to have a problem.
If it's someone I know then I don't really have an issue at all.

 

[Mistake]

For me it depends on how close I am to the person and if I know them well or not. Across a table with friends? Sure. Someone new? I need to force it.

 

[Kev Kev]

i thrive in this kind of a moment. i just feel this overwhelming permission to be my regular crazy self when i walk into a group thats immediately talking down to me. looking people in the eye is nothing if you dont give a fuck what people think about you.

 

[ÆMNE22A!C]

Sure, it's an age old means of asserting dominance. You know someone is tough or whatever when he keeps staring. Best to to is acknowledge his stare so he doesn't feel ignored and then look elsewhere. Engaging staring triggers a dominance impulse which would most probably leas to vocal/physical altercations


2022 yo. Ape style sociological behavior

I van spot those "tough" guys a mile away. Maybe I should buy a knife.

Most of these simpletons (mostly 2 or more) are looking for victims. Couple neck stabs and you're safe.

 

[Fugitive Sex]

Yes, I'm not a psycho.

 

[kingwingin]

I stare at people's mouths

 

[daffyduck]

 

[Torrent of Pork]

It's not that hard to strike the balance between being a beta who averts their eyes at all times, and a sperg who stares at people too much.

It's called being a healthy human being.

 

[bitbydeath]

Yes, how else are you going to assert dominance?

 

[BigBooper]

Yea no problem with that. It's actually the opposite for me where I have to remember to look away occasionally so they don't know I'm a psychopath.

 

[Ailynn]

A reasonable amount of eye contact is great, but just don't hold it so long it becomes uncomfortable..

 

[LaughingStock]

It's something I had to learn when I was a young adult. That, and small talk.

 

[Hawking Radiation]

 

[GoldenEye Samurai]

I have a hard time doing it with some people, especially strangers. I’m a shy person/introvert naturally, so I don’t like making eye contact all the time. I feel more comfortable doing it with some people than I do with others.

 

[dr_octagon]

Yes, how else are you going to assert dominance?

 

[GoldenEye Samurai]

He really showed him his Trump Card right there!

 

[Kev Kev]

 

[Radioskugga]

Nope, I find constant eye contact aggressive and I'm uncomfortable with that.