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Do you think your parents raised you better than they were?
- Thread starter cormack12
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killatopak
Member
No.
I still have a lot of catching up to do. My parents have given me huge advantages that they never had but I couldn’t quite reach what I expected for myself at their age.
I still have a lot of catching up to do. My parents have given me huge advantages that they never had but I couldn’t quite reach what I expected for myself at their age.
IDKFA
I am Become Bilbo Baggins
No.
My parents didn't give a fuck. I was never punished for bad behaviour. They let me go out when I wanted and stay out as long as I wanted. Didn't care that I started smoking at 15. And to top it off, didn't care how well I was doing at school. They didn't give me any life advice, or sit me down and ask me where I wanted to go in life.
Because of their shocking parenting, I failed hard at school and during my exams. In resulted in me being completely lost as an early adult and working in dead end jobs with no direction.
It wasn't until my son was born that I pushed myself for change. I went back into education on my own. I successfully got a degree in history on my own. I grafted through shit jobs with low pay to move up the ladder on my own, and now I have a very well paid job as an analyst. All without my parents.
I didn't make their mistake with my son, who is completely different to me when I was growing up and is set up for success.
Thanks mum and dad for showing me how not to raise children.
My parents didn't give a fuck. I was never punished for bad behaviour. They let me go out when I wanted and stay out as long as I wanted. Didn't care that I started smoking at 15. And to top it off, didn't care how well I was doing at school. They didn't give me any life advice, or sit me down and ask me where I wanted to go in life.
Because of their shocking parenting, I failed hard at school and during my exams. In resulted in me being completely lost as an early adult and working in dead end jobs with no direction.
It wasn't until my son was born that I pushed myself for change. I went back into education on my own. I successfully got a degree in history on my own. I grafted through shit jobs with low pay to move up the ladder on my own, and now I have a very well paid job as an analyst. All without my parents.
I didn't make their mistake with my son, who is completely different to me when I was growing up and is set up for success.
Thanks mum and dad for showing me how not to raise children.
Con_Z_ǝdʇ
Live from NeoGAF, it's Friday Night!
For the most part yes and i'm happy with myself.
However they were some missteps.
My parents tried to keep many inconveniences away from me and solved a lot of problems i should have taken care of myself. When i was about 19 to 21 years old i had difficulties to make decisions on my own and always tried to ship around problems. Luckylie my job at that time demanded self-reliance and my boss knew about my imperfections. He pushed me to get better and that helped a lot. Years later the head of my department committed suicide which led to me being in his shoes. This brought me further in my independence, decision making skills and overcoming problems. I still try to avoid any inconveniences as much as possible but i don't have a problem to think and fight my through them should they occur.
My mother was always beaten by her mother as a child when she refused to eat something. She was way to indulgent with me as a kid in that regard and i ended up being a very picky eater. This got much better when i moved out and started to cook on my own. I left this behaviour completely behind after i met my girlfriend who showed me the wonderful world of food and taste in a very special way without being too judgemental.
Otherwise i always try to look upon myself from an outside perspective and analysis the extreme behaviours i got from my parents to work on that. I'm very self critical. Often too much for my own good.
However they were some missteps.
My parents tried to keep many inconveniences away from me and solved a lot of problems i should have taken care of myself. When i was about 19 to 21 years old i had difficulties to make decisions on my own and always tried to ship around problems. Luckylie my job at that time demanded self-reliance and my boss knew about my imperfections. He pushed me to get better and that helped a lot. Years later the head of my department committed suicide which led to me being in his shoes. This brought me further in my independence, decision making skills and overcoming problems. I still try to avoid any inconveniences as much as possible but i don't have a problem to think and fight my through them should they occur.
My mother was always beaten by her mother as a child when she refused to eat something. She was way to indulgent with me as a kid in that regard and i ended up being a very picky eater. This got much better when i moved out and started to cook on my own. I left this behaviour completely behind after i met my girlfriend who showed me the wonderful world of food and taste in a very special way without being too judgemental.
Otherwise i always try to look upon myself from an outside perspective and analysis the extreme behaviours i got from my parents to work on that. I'm very self critical. Often too much for my own good.
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For the most part yes from the horror stories I hear from how my grandfather disciplined my dad. My mom doesn't talk much about her childhood. I really should ask her about it. Now my dad was definitely a lot more successful than me at my age but the reasons for that are many and most of them are my fault.
On your second question the answer would be nope on passing down knowledge. They failed hard on that one. Which is technically one thing I would change if I ever had kids.
On your second question the answer would be nope on passing down knowledge. They failed hard on that one. Which is technically one thing I would change if I ever had kids.
I remember my sibling getting beatings for refusing to eat as well except for the youngest and even now as a grown man with a young child he still mostly only eats chicken nuggets, pizza, and nutella and yet he somehow weighs 50 pounds less than any of his brothers.
Quasicat
Member
This describes how I was raised. Unlike them, I had more drive and worked myself through college, often times working 50 hours a week at the plant plus a full course load.
What amazes me, as a public school teacher for middle/high school are the parents that actively take opportunities away from their children. I have had many seniors that have been kicked out months before graduation which often times leads to them dropping out. There are tons of kids, when we talk about career readiness that do entire projects on how to “live on welfare”. When I’ve had conferences with their parents, the words they use to describe their children should not be used to describe anyone and the blame is placed on everybody else.
West Texas CEO
GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
jabberwookie
Banned
I think I was raised in the same manor they were. To be a self-conscious prick afraid of his own shadow.
That's where I am.
That's where I am.
Aesius
Member
I had a more comfortable upbringing for sure ,but that wasn't 100% beneficial.
Both of my parents struggled as kids. My mom was poor and lived in public housing and my dad's dad left his mom when he was an infant. Despite that, they both stayed out of trouble and ended up squarely middle class. They raised me and my brother well but also certainly sheltered us a good bit.
My brother had more of an independent/rebellious streak than me and moved out at 17, but was barely home even by the age of 14. I was more of a homebody and was okay with living in the nest for a while. I did okay in life but didn't/haven't fully lived up to my potential. I think my parents were just satisfied that I wasn't a delinquent and that I got good grades, so they never really pushed me to do anything more.
They let me quit sports when I was young because I preferred playing with neighborhood kids or playing video games, and they never really discussed college plans, careers, etc. But a lot of that goes back to them being small town people who didn't go to college themselves and whose careers were launched simply by knowing just about everybody in town and having connections.
I will raise my son with the same level of love and care that my parents showed me, but I'll also have higher expectations of him. Or at the very least, I will have frank discussions with him about the importance of hard work and sticking with things even when they aren't "fun" anymore.
Both of my parents struggled as kids. My mom was poor and lived in public housing and my dad's dad left his mom when he was an infant. Despite that, they both stayed out of trouble and ended up squarely middle class. They raised me and my brother well but also certainly sheltered us a good bit.
My brother had more of an independent/rebellious streak than me and moved out at 17, but was barely home even by the age of 14. I was more of a homebody and was okay with living in the nest for a while. I did okay in life but didn't/haven't fully lived up to my potential. I think my parents were just satisfied that I wasn't a delinquent and that I got good grades, so they never really pushed me to do anything more.
They let me quit sports when I was young because I preferred playing with neighborhood kids or playing video games, and they never really discussed college plans, careers, etc. But a lot of that goes back to them being small town people who didn't go to college themselves and whose careers were launched simply by knowing just about everybody in town and having connections.
I will raise my son with the same level of love and care that my parents showed me, but I'll also have higher expectations of him. Or at the very least, I will have frank discussions with him about the importance of hard work and sticking with things even when they aren't "fun" anymore.
Kenpachii
Member
Both youth of my parents where rought.
Mom was ditched by her mom because she couldn't feed her, eventually after a few weeks she came back to collect her. That's how bad her youth was. her sister which was a bit older saw her entire family getting executed infront of her by germans because of some reason ( they wheren't jews ), she still points to the hill in amsterdam where it happened.
Dad mother was a psychopath that would see demons everywhere run behind people with knives, my dad always told me whenever the leafs fell from the tree she would lose it. So she got locked up, everybody in his town though he was nuts because of her he wasn't. Nobody wanted to look after him when his dad was working all day long so he went to some nun shit building, where he had to stay most of the time. He had tons of family nobody cared about him he hated them all because of it and broke all contact when he got older.
The nuns where brutal, they would beat his ass constantly. He hated every second of it. His dad once visited, gave him a bit of money for ice cream, nuns took it away and beaten him for no reason other then not telling them he had money which wasn't allowed. It was safe to say church was on the way out from that point.
Both raised me and my sister in a loving family, where we did all kinds of things and vacations. They worked there ass off to provide it and we got better out of it for sure then they ever got.
Mom was ditched by her mom because she couldn't feed her, eventually after a few weeks she came back to collect her. That's how bad her youth was. her sister which was a bit older saw her entire family getting executed infront of her by germans because of some reason ( they wheren't jews ), she still points to the hill in amsterdam where it happened.
Dad mother was a psychopath that would see demons everywhere run behind people with knives, my dad always told me whenever the leafs fell from the tree she would lose it. So she got locked up, everybody in his town though he was nuts because of her he wasn't. Nobody wanted to look after him when his dad was working all day long so he went to some nun shit building, where he had to stay most of the time. He had tons of family nobody cared about him he hated them all because of it and broke all contact when he got older.
The nuns where brutal, they would beat his ass constantly. He hated every second of it. His dad once visited, gave him a bit of money for ice cream, nuns took it away and beaten him for no reason other then not telling them he had money which wasn't allowed. It was safe to say church was on the way out from that point.
Both raised me and my sister in a loving family, where we did all kinds of things and vacations. They worked there ass off to provide it and we got better out of it for sure then they ever got.
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JimmyRustler
Member
No. My dad died when I was very young and looking back I wouldn’t say my mom did any „teaching“ at all. She made food, washed clothes and cleaned at home but aside from that missed to teach me anything valuable for life. I was an extremely spoilt kid and therefore grew up mentally very late. I‘m pretty sure that the lack of parental direction is the reason why the non fiction books I‘ve read had so much impact on me late in life. Feels like they gave me the education I lacked growing up. When I look back now at myself in my teens and 20s it‘s like I‘m looking at someone else. Someone I don‘t like that is.
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SuperBabyMethod
Member
Yes. My mother never went to school (or a very limited schooling like around 1st grade) and was abused by her parents. She was discouraged to not go to school and stay around the ranch because she’s a woman. My father, who lived in a slightly more urban area, was disowned by his mother (he never mentioned his father).
As parents, they were somewhat strict, especially my father, and as a child I would get hit by the belt or a sandal (“la chancla” for my Mexican brethren) whenever I did something stupid. Despite this, I have no ill will towards my parents and I love them dearly. They love me unconditionally and have been my greatest supporters.
Something that I observed with some Americans and even some ethnic minorities, is that parents want their children to live the life they laid out for them: college, career, money, neighborhood, overprotection; these aren’t necessarily bad things, but I would sometimes see my peers feel bad about themselves because if they don’t accomplish what was laid out, they feel like a failure.
One thing about Mexican parents, or at least mine, is that they never pushed me to be something that I never wanted to be. Maybe it’s a socioeconomic thing because since they came from nothing their only wish was to have their children achieve something better than what they had in Mexico. My mother, for example, is through the roof that I have a career as a teacher. To mainstream American society, a teacher is a low paying shitty career that isn’t well respected. But to my family, I’m making money and living like Scrooge McDuck. Even if I never became a teacher and became something, say, a city Bus driver or Sanitation worker, my family would still be proud. For certain families and cultures, that simply isn’t acceptable. That’s why I am forever grateful for my parents.
As parents, they were somewhat strict, especially my father, and as a child I would get hit by the belt or a sandal (“la chancla” for my Mexican brethren) whenever I did something stupid. Despite this, I have no ill will towards my parents and I love them dearly. They love me unconditionally and have been my greatest supporters.
Something that I observed with some Americans and even some ethnic minorities, is that parents want their children to live the life they laid out for them: college, career, money, neighborhood, overprotection; these aren’t necessarily bad things, but I would sometimes see my peers feel bad about themselves because if they don’t accomplish what was laid out, they feel like a failure.
One thing about Mexican parents, or at least mine, is that they never pushed me to be something that I never wanted to be. Maybe it’s a socioeconomic thing because since they came from nothing their only wish was to have their children achieve something better than what they had in Mexico. My mother, for example, is through the roof that I have a career as a teacher. To mainstream American society, a teacher is a low paying shitty career that isn’t well respected. But to my family, I’m making money and living like Scrooge McDuck. Even if I never became a teacher and became something, say, a city Bus driver or Sanitation worker, my family would still be proud. For certain families and cultures, that simply isn’t acceptable. That’s why I am forever grateful for my parents.
Catphish
Member
Raised better? Dunno about that. My p's were good people and came from solid upbringing. But they definitely made sacrifices, not the least of which was putting me through 13 years of private school, and I will be forever grateful for it.
They definitely passed on some of their bs, too, but we're all only human. No such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect childhood.
They definitely passed on some of their bs, too, but we're all only human. No such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect childhood.
Chronicle
Member
My mother had several affairs. One long one with my school principal. She is an alcoholic. Left me when I was in grade 12 and went to start her new career in a differentcountry. She spends money like a thief.
My parents divorced.
My father is a drug addiction and alcoholic. He OD'd in his office while giving a patient an injection in the wrong leg. He was seeing a patient, addicted to demoral and double doctored the whole town out of stock. It takes about 50 mgs to put you out of it with that stuff. His final shot was 3500 mg with another loaded one in his desk for 4000 mg. He went bankrupt and we lost everything. I was essentially on the street in a few years in the span of about 3 years. My father was a doctor.
He survived. Is almost 30 years sober. My mother has returned to be with her grandchildren.
My parents were not raised that way. They hsd hardworking Christian parents who got through tough times together.
That's some of my story.
My parents divorced.
My father is a drug addiction and alcoholic. He OD'd in his office while giving a patient an injection in the wrong leg. He was seeing a patient, addicted to demoral and double doctored the whole town out of stock. It takes about 50 mgs to put you out of it with that stuff. His final shot was 3500 mg with another loaded one in his desk for 4000 mg. He went bankrupt and we lost everything. I was essentially on the street in a few years in the span of about 3 years. My father was a doctor.
He survived. Is almost 30 years sober. My mother has returned to be with her grandchildren.
My parents were not raised that way. They hsd hardworking Christian parents who got through tough times together.
That's some of my story.
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Grildon Tundy
Member
Yes, I think they did. And I think I knowingly messed it up once I was able to make my own decisions. They're great people. I'm kind of a scumbag lol
Fbh
Member
I don't know.
They raised me more lovingly than they had been, as they both had rather strict parents, they've always been supportive and we have a good relationship.
At the same time though, now I can't help but think that they should have been stricter with me. Though ultimately my life being what it is is due to poor choices I made myself in my mid teens to mid twenties, so I can't blame them for that.
They raised me more lovingly than they had been, as they both had rather strict parents, they've always been supportive and we have a good relationship.
At the same time though, now I can't help but think that they should have been stricter with me. Though ultimately my life being what it is is due to poor choices I made myself in my mid teens to mid twenties, so I can't blame them for that.
Billbofet
Member
I had about the most amazing parents I could have asked for, and I can only hope to leave the impression on my children that my father has left on me.
I think I'm doing a pretty good job so far, but I very often think "How would my dad have handled this" as guidance?
My wife had and has shitty parents, so it makes me grateful almost daily for my upbringing and makes me miss my dad almost always.
I think I'm doing a pretty good job so far, but I very often think "How would my dad have handled this" as guidance?
My wife had and has shitty parents, so it makes me grateful almost daily for my upbringing and makes me miss my dad almost always.
RJMacready73
Banned
I'll never be able to match my old man's drinking ability, fucking 70y.o. and he still drinks me under the table the bastard
dr_octagon
Banned
They wanted me to be a pilot but I'm colorblind. I have been diswoned by from the family and my parents regret naming me Fox.
I have let down the McCloud name.
I have let down the McCloud name.
Tams
Member
My parents definitely raised me better, in a more open and free-thinking environment. Though, a lot of that was just leaving me to my own devices. I was sent, then later encouraged to go to clubs etc. and did, and to study, but for the most part they just let me choose.
But as to what I have become and achieved? Well, that's a different question. And for that, no. Both my parents had achieved far, far, far more than I have at my age. Perhaps they had their concerns and anxieties, but they ploughed on. I've just festered in the same sort of job for almost a decade now and done little. I do wonder sometimes if their harder childhoods left them both biting at the bit to get out there and experience the world. In fact, thinking about it I think that may well be it. That streak of rebellion and want for adventure that I simply don't seem to have.
tl;dr: My parents raised me very well and in a much better environment than either of them had. But they didn't manage to instil one key skill in me: confidence.
But as to what I have become and achieved? Well, that's a different question. And for that, no. Both my parents had achieved far, far, far more than I have at my age. Perhaps they had their concerns and anxieties, but they ploughed on. I've just festered in the same sort of job for almost a decade now and done little. I do wonder sometimes if their harder childhoods left them both biting at the bit to get out there and experience the world. In fact, thinking about it I think that may well be it. That streak of rebellion and want for adventure that I simply don't seem to have.
tl;dr: My parents raised me very well and in a much better environment than either of them had. But they didn't manage to instil one key skill in me: confidence.
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Depends on how you define better. Neither of my parents had any higher education so in that sense yes by miles.
In terms of being a generally good person I am better than my dad but probably worse than my mom, so I still have improvements to make there.
In terms of being a generally good person I am better than my dad but probably worse than my mom, so I still have improvements to make there.
Do a barrel roll.
dr_octagon
Banned
Flash Junkins
Member
100%
I got real lucky in my lot. Dad died early and mom is in a senior center but we always had love and direction.
NecrosaroIII
Ultimate DQ Fan
I mean yes. My mother was the 7th child born to white trash in Ohio. Her mom didn't pay any attention to her kids so the older siblings raised her (and resented her for having to do so). She dropped put of school in 9th grade.
My dad is the arch typical 70s stoner. Born out of wedlock, he grew up without any guidance because his mom was too busy working to support them to take care of him. He dropped out in high school and began selling drugs.
They've made mistakes. We were homeless when I was a teenager because of them. But my parents recovered and were generally supportive. I definitely have some issues because of them, but they did their best especially since neither of them had a frame work of what parenting was supposed to be like.
My dad is the arch typical 70s stoner. Born out of wedlock, he grew up without any guidance because his mom was too busy working to support them to take care of him. He dropped out in high school and began selling drugs.
They've made mistakes. We were homeless when I was a teenager because of them. But my parents recovered and were generally supportive. I definitely have some issues because of them, but they did their best especially since neither of them had a frame work of what parenting was supposed to be like.
DragoonWalker
Member
My parents raised me much better than they were raised (they both had absentee fathers, had to fend for themselves often, got the occasional beating, so on, I never did, always treated me with respect), gave me much more than they ever got (they fought their way into middle class), but in spite of that (or maybe because of it), I think I'm a worse person for it, having never suffered as much hardships as they have during the periods in my life that shaped me as an adult.
Hard times create strong men etc.
Hard times create strong men etc.
jufonuk
not tag worthy
But in a way they gave you advise. Don’t do what we do, in the main you turned out better than them.
Indirectly you bettered yourself because of them.
My parents pushed me to go uni. My mum didn’t do well at school was important for me to. Happiness wise I definitely was raised better. It isn’t all about money and working like a maniac etc
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Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
As a hamster, I successfully avoided being eaten alive by my mother as a newborn pup, so I'd say yes.
IDKFA
I am Become Bilbo Baggins
Absolutely. One thing they did well was indirectly teach me how not to be a good parent.
Cyberpunkd
Member
Kinda this. It’s not that they were bad parents, it’s just that they were not very much involved. Didn’t guide me or structure my education path and while they might have been 15 year olds that have all figured out, I was not one of these kids.
So after getting a degree with lots of competition and not many prospects I hussled and each year I got more experience and other people in the field dropped out to do marketing, PR, or other media shit. So now from not having an idea what to do in life I became an expert making serious money, simply because everyone around me gave up.
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