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[DragoonKain]

I’ve noticed for years that having any kind of obligation or appointment always brings me tremendous anxiety. It can be something harmless like going to visit family. Or even something fun, like a concert. It doesn’t have to be a doctor’s appointment or some type of exam or job interview. Leading up to it for whatever reason I can’t stop thinking about it and stress about it non stop.

Something about it always gives me anxiety leading up to it and when it’s over with, I feel a tremendous amount of relief. I’ve heard other people suffer through the same thing, though not sure how common it is. It’s almost like a high, getting done an obligation, for the rest of the day I feel great.

I have some form of OCD so I often wonder if it’s related to that. My brain recognizes these obligations as “unfinished tasks” that need to be completed for my mind to relax. Like one with OCD would with cleaning a room or whatever.

I thought about looking into taking something for it, but then again I hate taking any kind of medication unless it’s absolutely necessary, especially brain related stuff. Plus I think it could have a negative effect and make me start caring a lot less and start blowing stuff off.

 

[Noboru Wataya]

I have it to some extent. For example i have a party to attend at 7pm. Around 5pm i cannot settle. I cant play a game or watch tv because i know im going out, basically i cant relax and im almost pacing waiting to leave. i get proper restless and its exhausting.

 

[PSYGN]

Yeah because it breaks the normal flow/routine of your day. As I'm forgetful I would look at the time often and make sure I have everything I need and always get the nagging feeling like I'm forgetting something.

 

[lem0n]

Yeah, it's becoming more of a problem too. There are some weekends where I need to do "x" and I literally cannot relax or do anything else until I take care of "x". If it's some sort of gathering, appointment, or obligation out of the ordinary it's especially bad. I'll put up a fight if it's something I don't want to do, too. People often wonder why I typically don't make plans or do much outside of my comfort zone. Well, this is probably why. I'm not sure I'd call it anxiety, but maybe it is and I don't realize it.

The odd thing is, sometimes I want to go do something out of the ordinary and different and I have the time of my life.

Maybe I'm just stingy/selfish with my own free time. I dunno.

 

[12Goblins]

Yes sir and that is why I have gone through great lengths to cut out all obligations from my life. Would not recommend.

 

[thefool]

How is your normal daily life? Do you interact with a lot of people, do lots of tasks? Do the type of tasks differ from time to time?

 

[Roxkis_ii]

I also have this anxiety. I used to have it worst in my late teens and early 20's. I have notice it is lessened when I exercise regularly and weirdly enough with beef liver supplements.

I've also seen a video recently talking about lower testosterone can cause higher anxiety levels, which is maybe why exercise helps me.



The part about anxiety and testosterone start at 5:48.

 

[Nobody_Important]

Oh absolutely.


I'm one of those people that practices what I'm going to say before a meeting or a speech or whatever while I'm in the car or while I'm getting ready for work. And for doctor's appointments I go over my symptoms, my questions, and everything else in my head while I am in the waiting room that way I am not caught off guard whenever I get inside. I will never understand how people are just able to "go with the flow" and just wing it with everything. I have to have everything planned out in my head before it happens or I end up fumbling around in the dark.


And do not even get me started when it comes to family gatherings or scheduled social events. Even when I know it's coming it completely stresses me out and has me on edge.

 

[Mohonky]

Yes but maybe for different reasons. I get panic attacks so I have anxiety about having a panic attack which of course brings one on.

Because of that any situation where I am obligated to be somewhere makes me anxious as I cant simply up and leave by my own choice. So notably the main one is probably work even though I enjoy what I do, just knowing I have to be there from a start to finish time puts me on edge; yet I'll happily stay after or hang about like a bad smell simply because I'm no long obligated to be there.

This extends to a lesser extent to general appointments or anything where I feel like I generally have to stay around.

Basically when Im not working or out somewhere I am happy to just sort of disappear in my own world where I dont have any real set obligations.

 

[Rentahamster]

I’ve noticed for years that having any kind of obligation or appointment always brings me tremendous anxiety. It can be something harmless like going to visit family. Or even something fun, like a concert. It doesn’t have to be a doctor’s appointment or some type of exam or job interview. Leading up to it for whatever reason I can’t stop thinking about it and stress about it non stop.

Something about it always gives me anxiety leading up to it and when it’s over with, I feel a tremendous amount of relief. I’ve heard other people suffer through the same thing, though not sure how common it is. It’s almost like a high, getting done an obligation, for the rest of the day I feel great.

Nope. I look forward to things.

 

[Rentahamster]

I will never understand how people are just able to "go with the flow" and just wing it with everything.

Big hamster energy

 

[Cattlyst]

I experience anxiety every single day before I start my working day. I'm usually terribly worried about how many demands I'll wake up to, how many things I've inadvertently done wrong the day before because someone's changed their mind about something on a whim without warning, and how many new things throughout the day just pop up and are incredibly urgent emergencies (just because). Even now I'm awake worrying about work. Fuck I would kill for a new job. Any new job. Does this count?

 

[BigBooper]

Not really. I used to. For most things, in my case, it's better to not think about it until it happens. I prepare if it needs it, but then I segment it out of my mind until I have to deal with it.

 

[NahaNago]

Yeah, though not to a great extent for some odd reason I feel just slightly stressed before having to out to eat for a small family get together or going to an appointment. Generally I just use my cellphone to distract myself in these situations.

 

[synchronicity]

It's about anticipation and an overactive mind - being too much in your head. That's the root of anxiety for most. Regular meditation, exercise, sunshine and the ilk can get you out of that heavy focus on internal dialogue that brings anxiety. They're just thoughts. They come and they go, like leaves down a river. Just watch them and laugh.

 

[KiNeMz]

Its natural, its your body and brain preparing you to perform. Learning to deal with it over and over is the best way to learn to enjoy it.

 

[Torrent of Pork]

Oh absolutely.


I'm one of those people that practices what I'm going to say before a meeting or a speech or whatever while I'm in the car or while I'm getting ready for work. And for doctor's appointments I go over my symptoms, my questions, and everything else in my head while I am in the waiting room that way I am not caught off guard whenever I get inside. I never understand how people are just able to "go with the flow" and just wing it with everything. I have to have everything planned out in my head before it happens or I end up fumbling around in the dark.


And do not even get me started when it comes to family gatherings or scheduled social events. Even when I know it's coming it completely stresses me out and has me on edge.

Expect things to go tits-up at the drop of a hat, and make contingency plans for when it does. To facilitate this, never just learn how to do anything by rote memorization, learn why you do the things you do, and how to do them in different ways. This applies to anything; cooking, driving, or close quarter maneuvering a semi truck around an asshole who parked their car where they shouldn't have when I need to get my big ass where I need to be.

 

[Batiman]

Yep I’m exactly like this. Wasn’t like this until I hit 30. All I can say is try not to procrastinate on things because of it. Things will start to pile up and lead to more anxiety.

 

[EverydayBeast]

I’m on the other side those appointments usually get you feeling good, and professional.

 

[teezzy]

No, not at all. I look forward to having things scheduled, if anything.

 

[DelireMan7]

Kind of... But it's more related to social anxiety for me. So if I have something scheduled, it will make me anxious because of the social interaction I will have to do. Also the fear of being late, makes me really anxious.

For these reasons, I hate schedule things and usually do it as little as possible (which drive my wife crazy sometimes). It helps especially with social anxiety because if I have a dinner plan with "friends" (with close friends I don't have this anxiety, but it's basically 3 peoples xD) I tend to anticipated the event and the hours before it I am really uncomfortable (to point where I already cancel at the last minute with false excuses).
But if it's improvised like neighbors who suddenly ask to come for dinner, I am feeling much better because obviously I don't know in advance, if I am feeling to go I say yes and if not I say no and it's over

Hopefully I have the feeling I deal better with this anxiety, speaking openly about it and not hiding it anymore helped quite a bit I think.

 

[CrankyJay™]

Yeah I get it a little bit. I’m also a very punctual person so I think part of that stress/anxiety is making sure I’m on time.

 

[Ailynn]

Pretty much every time, yeah...for years now.

My heart goes out to all of you who go through it.

 

[Peggies]

There's nothing like that feeling when you get a call or a message that an upcoming event got canceled. Doesn't even matter if I was actually looking forward to it.
Utter relieve and soothing comfortness. I love it!

 

[AJUMP23]

I like to get to places on time, but I don't get anxious about it.

 

[Reality Czar]

Not really. Sounds like an issue you should get looked at. Getting nervous about Shouldn't be nervous about every single thing.

 

[Raven117]

Depends I suppose. But I hear what you are saying OP

 

[Excess]

I definitely get this, but I've learned to control it. For me, it comes from my personality as an introvert, and as an introvert, you will experience an over-stimulation of events that require interpersonal communication. Even during an event, introverts will tend to have a limit on how long they can keep up with socialization before needing to 'tap out' and go home. This is mostly driven by adrenaline and the fight or flight response. Extroverts thrive in these environments because they get a joy from the adrenaline it produces, which is why extroverts tend to also be risk-takers and less adverse to consequence. But even extroverts have their limits; one can only socialize for so long until they need some time to their self. Once you begin to realize this, you can begin to focus on your strengths as an introvert, as we tend to be very logical, thoughtful, skeptical and patient.

Having said that, understand that the "relief" you feel when completing some sort of obligation is you "coming down" from the intense fight or flight response of having to attend it. You may be worrying yourself about what you'll say or do, but remember this: Everyone else feels exactly the same way, even extroverts. This is because humans constantly judge themselves based on other people's reactions of themselves. These same people are probably saying the same exact thing as you, "I don't feel like going." Everyone is flawed and critical of themselves, and knowing this can provide some relief ahead of time.