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[LordOfLore]

ComicsBeat review.

I had some awfully low expectations going into this, but holy cow did they blow right past them and into the gutter with this production. This coming weekend, if you get the urge to go see this, do yourself a favor and purchase someone in your life a ticket for Wonder Woman instead. That will be a far more enriching experience.

It's 9 am, on Wednesday June 7th, and I'm calling it on the Dark Universe, dear readers.

Full review at the link. Embargo stops on the day of release...

Post more early ones if you find them. Full review thread will go up by someone else when the embargo drops.

Edit:

Reviews are still embargoed? Two newspapers here have posted theirs already.

3/5 stars - NRC (https://www.nrc.nl/nieuws/2017/06/07/vervloekte-cruise-grapt-met-ondoden-10947014-a1561895)
1/5 stars - De Morgen (http://www.demorgen.be/film/-the-mummy-je-reinste-ouderenmishandeling-b8bb798a/)

Matt Goldberg from Collider (though, for some reason, they didn't want to publish it)

http://goldbergblog.com/2017/06/07/the-mummy-review-a-wretched-abomination/

Polygon.

Den of Geek: 3/5

http://www.denofgeek.com/uk/movies/the-mummy/49879/the-mummy-2017-review

http://www.indiewire.com/2017/06/th...tella-russell-crowe-dark-universe-1201838756/

THR isn't kind to it either

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/review/mummy-review-1011002

Chris Struckmann's review

http://www.empireonline.com/movies/mummy-3/review/

Weird URL considering there was a third Mummy movie already. (I know, maybe they mean the third franchise or something?)

http://www.indiewire.com/2017/06/th...tella-russell-crowe-dark-universe-1201838756/

 

[strafer]

Well shit..

 

[demosthenes]

Ugh, sort of expected but God dammit.

Luckily I watched edge of tomorrow again a week ago do hopefully my cruise middle quota is good for a while.

 

[Mr Swine]

Ouch... that doesn't sound good at all tbh :/

 

[hamchan]

Dayum. Tom Cruise output is normally so solid too.

 

[Dryk]

But without a series of nine unrelated movies however will we get invested enough in Dr Jekyll to feel the full weight of his betrayal?

 

[liquidtmd]

I had some awfully low expectations going into this, but holy cow did they blow right past them...!

Usable movie Poster quote!

 

[Bronx-Man]

Who could have possibly seen this coming???

 

[HiiiLife]

Can't wait tbh.

 

[SpaceWolf]

One review from a spurious fan website I've never heard of.

I'll wait for multiple reviews from much more respected sources before declaring this "dead on arrival!"

 

[ahoyhoy]

But without a series of nine unrelated movies however will we get invested enough in Dr Jekyll to feel the full weight of his betrayal?

Lol.

The less movie universes the better.

 

[Random Human]

People gotta stop announcing their series/cinematic universe plans before the first one even comes out.

 

[Slaythe]

Dayum. Tom Cruise output is normally so solid too.

He literally just put out Jack Reacher 2.

 

[legacyzero]

TomCruiseScream.wav

 

[Kyne]

Dayum. Tom Cruise output is normally so solid too.

not even Tom Cruise can save us from

 

[SocksAndShoes]

He literally just put out Jack Reacher 2.

I guess you could say that the Cruise missile is on a downward trajectory.

*puts on sunglasses*

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

[Blader]

Aren't Bardem, Depp, et al. already signed to their movies though?

 

[Bronx-Man]

People gotta stop announcing their series/cinematic universe plans before the first one even comes out.

But we've already started production on three films for the GAF Cinematic Universe

 

[Herr Schwarz]

Is there perhaps an iconic hat to purchase

 

[PizzaFace]

One review from a spurious fan website I've never heard of.

I'll wait for multiple reviews from much more respected sources before declaring this "dead on arrival!"

You could have watched the trailers and correctly called this "dead on arrival!"

 

[Ithil]

So are they gonna take a second mulligan on this one and delay the "official" start of this Universal Universe to a third film?

 

[More_Badass]

One review from a spurious fan website I've never heard of.

I'll wait for multiple reviews from much more respected sources before declaring this "dead on arrival!"

Screening impressions seem pretty divisive. Some GAF impressions, and other thoughts, said the movie was pretty decent and enjoyable, while the people that disliked it really disliked it

 

[the_darkness]

One review - not reviews - from a random comic book blog. I'll withold judgement for the moment.

 

[SocksAndShoes]

But we've already started production on three films for the GAF Cinematic Universe

The cboat spy thriller is gonna be amazing.

 

[Spike Spiegel]

And yet, early watchers in the OT were saying they had a good time.

 

[cr0w]

Oof.

Maybe this will convince them that action movies aren't the way to go with the classic Monsters.

 

[Clod83]

The movie started very well at boxoffice in South Korea yesterday (+6M dollars, outpacing WW and Pirates)

 

[The Elite]

"Reviews"

One review.

I think I will wait for more.

 

[Vanillalite]

Trailer looked more interesting than the older Mummy movies to me, but I could just be crazy.

 

[liquidtmd]

The cboat spy thriller is gonna be amazing.

Illegible, but amazing

 

[TheCochese]

But we've already started production on three films for the GAF Cinematic Universe

Lionel can narrate.

 

[NealMcCauley]

The OT has a few gaffers' reactions starting on page 3 (post 113). They've more positive but note the opening is not good.

 

[Lights and Waves]

YES! Looks like Wonder Woman is safe for another weekend at #1!

 

[Zackat]

yowza

 

[Steejee]

Given that Cruise's character sounds like he's supposed to have some loose morals, I thought it could have been interesting if the movie had gone for a bit of a dark twist and had him accept the Mummy's advances. Basically 'Beautiful immortal goddess has the hots for me? Sounds good!'. Going to guess that's not where this movie goes.

 

[Harmen]

Fuck, I needed this to be good. I want a good Cruise action film again and this seems like it could be an awesome new blockbuster series when done right. I did already fear for the worst though. Same goes for pirates, which I hoped would be better as well.

Thankfully, Wonderman delivered, which I did not expect either.

 

[Protome]

The cboat spy thriller is gonna be amazing.

Tinker, Tailor, Buttocks, Train will pick up all the Oscars.

 

[Timbuktu]

Did Disney/ Marvel even plan out MCU before the first iron man?

 

[Captain Skeleton]

Didn't have much hope but as soon as they announced Russell Crowe was playing Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde I knew it was over.

 

[TTOOLL]

Expected....haven't you seen the trailer?

 

[SocksAndShoes]

Tinker, Tailor, Buttocks, Train will pick up all the Oscars.

"IN A WORLD WHERE LEAKS CAN GET YOU KILLED....ONE PAIR OF CHEEKS STANDS ALONE."

*cue Phillip Glass soundtrack*

 

[bobnowhere]

The Invisible Box Office

 

[jelly]

Dayum. Tom Cruise output is normally so solid too.

Jack Reacher films are bad. Mission Impossible films are alright, decent Sci Fi, Oblivion a bit basic though. Knight and Day was bad. I thought he made more films but actually not that many.

Did anyone watch Lion for Lambs?

 

[FTF]

Well shit, that's disappointing to hear :/

 

[ronaldthump]

the trailer was so hot garbage.

not really surprised tbh

 

[Dryk]

Brought to you by one-half of the duo that spearheaded such cinematic classics as Star Trek: Into Darkness and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

This is actually how I described Kurtzman to someone a few hours ago

 

[liquidtmd]

Expected....haven't you seen the trailer?

I saw the hillarious one with screwed up sound

 

[PHOENIXZERO]

 

[Bronx-Man]

So are they gonna take a second mulligan on this one and delay the "official" start of this Universal Universe to a third film?

Yep. I guess the Wolfman is gonna have to be the Iron Man of this "universe" now.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Reviews are still embargoed? Two newspapers here have posted theirs already.

3/5 stars - NRC (https://www.nrc.nl/nieuws/2017/06/07/vervloekte-cruise-grapt-met-ondoden-10947014-a1561895)
1/5 stars - De Morgen (http://www.demorgen.be/film/-the-mummy-je-reinste-ouderenmishandeling-b8bb798a/)