You're going to have a field day with this one.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Early 'The Mummy' reviews, "Dark Universe is dead on arrival"
- Thread starter LordOfLore
- Start date
adamsapple
Or is it just one of Phil's balls in my throat?
I saw the movie last night. Holy shit is it bad .. not even bad .. the movie is just flat out unintersting. I did not recall the blonde scientist lady's name even after immediately finishing the movie, there's nothing memorable about it at all.
For reference, I can rattle out the names of the 99 Mummy's characters off of my heart.
For reference, I can rattle out the names of the 99 Mummy's characters off of my heart.
Discotheque
Banned
Rick, Benny, Johnathan, Evie, ANAKSANAMUUNNNN
adamsapple
Or is it just one of Phil's balls in my throat?
Don't forget the GOAT Mummy .. IMHOTEP!
Yeah, that blonde was bland and very uninteresting.
TBH I'm not a huge fan of most of the characters in the movie. They really dropped the ball on that one.
Amateurs. You forgot Ardeth Bay.
"If I were to say to you that I am a stranger traveling from the East, seeking that which is lost..."
Grizzlyjin
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
See, I don't know if you'll like it in that way. It's more flat than outright dreadful. A bunch of good ideas swimming in the sea of a predictable plot and cookie cutter characters. I found it more frustrating than anything because it would do something sorta scary, or funny, or exciting and then immediately fuck it up a few seconds later. Without fail.
I'm trying to think of a recent movie that is comparable. You know what, Jack Reacher: Never Go Back might fit the bill. Just aggressively mediocre, where there isn't any sort of directorial or scripting signature to it. If you told me this movie was written & directed by an IBM computer that has studied every summer blockbuster from 1996-2017, I'd believe you
adamsapple
Or is it just one of Phil's balls in my throat?
Then I would reply that, "I am a stranger traveling from the West, it is I whom you seek."
THE BEST !
It's a masterpiece.
Right down to writing the lead as a Chris Pratt type, then casting Tom Cruise.
Rewatch it, she's doing an approximation of an Emily Blunt performance. Like they wanted her, couldn't get her, so they cast someone and told her to do what Blunt would.
Came for this. Was not disappointed!!
So they wanted a modern Brendan Fraser and cast the guy least like him. Talk about a trainwreck.
LordOfLore
Banned
I saw it the other day and it was mildly entertaining.
The airplane scene is nuts!!! The biggest problem with the film is that it is so worried about creating a cinematic universe that it forgets it should be, you know, a film. It feels disjointed and for a film called "The Mummy" there is very little time spent with it. The fact that the Mummy is a hot girl instead of being frightening doesn't help. Also, there isn't a single attempt at comedy in that film that doesn't fall flat in its face.
The airplane scene is nuts!!! The biggest problem with the film is that it is so worried about creating a cinematic universe that it forgets it should be, you know, a film. It feels disjointed and for a film called "The Mummy" there is very little time spent with it. The fact that the Mummy is a hot girl instead of being frightening doesn't help. Also, there isn't a single attempt at comedy in that film that doesn't fall flat in its face.
It's a glorious piece of shit.
Right down to The Mummy
licking Tom Cruise's abs and making an 'o' face.
No, there are only 2 movie, don't lie to the others please.
So this means the monster universe is over, they gonna try again or they gonna pretend this movie never existed like the same way they did with Dracula?
Well the stupid thing is that theoretically Dracula Untold AND Fraser Mummy can both be part of this universe if they wanted them to. Sure that wasn't the intent, but given how ludicrous this film is they may as well just go full batshit crazy and make everything canon.
Including Van Helsing. Because who doesn't want to see Jackman, Fraser, Cruise, Bardem, Depp and Crowe vs... I don't know.., fucking aliens or some shit.
I would laugh if that happens!
Grizzlyjin
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
It's a tough situation cause Cruise does bring in international dollars. So you could just take him and Crowe and inject them into whatever Dark Universe adjacent films and it might still work. There really isn't a whole lot to ignore here. You have the shadowy-Not SHIELD group, they'll probably keep that since that's the glue that makes it easy to connect everything. Crowe is fine. Cruise can come or go.
I think Bride of Frankenstein has one the same writers from this, so the train is probably staying on the track.
How much further must we stray from God's light?
The tone deaf way they channeled the dead teenager from Pet Semetary is baffling. Murderous villain, then mysterious guide then wisecracking bob hope stand in...
kingofthedead45
Member
Did anyone else notice
or am I fucking crazy?
in the scene where cruise and Mr Hyde fight if you look at the reflection of the glass in one scene you see Hyde as a were wolf.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
You'll lose.
I think you might be crazy. But there were what appeared to be
a Wolfman skull and the creature of the black lagoon's hand in his collection, as well as the book of Amun-Ra from the Fraser Mummy