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[Belfast]

As some of you may know from other threads, I had a bit of a battle with anxiety this summer. Thankfully, I think I'm starting to get over that. While I've had a few instances lately where my heart rate has risen pretty quickly, I have...for the most part, been able to control myself. Every test I've had has come back negative and so, for all intents and purposes, I am physically pretty healthy.

However, I fear that maybe its given rise to a new problem. Maybe its only a phase, and maybe its just what happens when I have to readjust myself to new surroundings, but for the past week/week-and-a-half I've been having frequent episodes where I not only feel somewhat depressed, but disconnected from things around me, too. Its all completely irrational, too. I haven't really been worried about people looking down on me, so its not a social thing....and I haven't had any actual hallucinations (though I do think up weird crap sometimes which disturbs me that I even though about it), so I don't think I'm going nuts. I haven't been physically or sexual abused ever and I've had no trauma besides maybe the anxiety I developed over the summer.

How I feel can only really be described as feeling disconnected, though. I suddenly don't feel like a part of my surroundings or like I "belong" where I am, and besides that, things that seem out of context to me can also trigger it. I could be sitting in one of my classes and notice the bare, yellow walls or something and suddenly feel disturbed by it. Sometimes I can keep myself busy enough to stave it off for a little while, but it comes back...rather because I idle too long or I just have a random thought. Its definitely interfering with my interests and my concentration and my girlfriend has noticed that I definitely act/feel gloomy sometimes.

There are way too many mental disorders out there to really sort through, and maybe this is just regular old depression and maybe I need to get treated for it ( though there is that nagging feeling that if I do, something worse could happen or I'd never feel like myself again), so does anyone else feel like this? Any input on what it might be? I can provide more input if its needed, but it does feel like it could be something that preys on my ability to function.

 

[bjork]

I feel that way all the time, but I don't let it bother me. I just figure I'm not the only one.

 

[SickBoy]

I suppose I feel that way on occasion, but it's usually because I'm letting myself drift off into la-la land, and it doesn't upset/disturb me. If anything, I feel peaceful at those times.

If this is happening more or less at random and it does disturb you like this, I would recommend that you do talk to a physician about it. And get a second opinion if he diagnoses "something"... especially if medication is suggested.

-SB

 

[Ill Saint]

Physician? Maybe a Psychologist is more apt... but feeling disconnected as Belfast describes it is not normal. It doesn't sound like a simple case of daydreaming which is what you seem to be describing, SickBoy.

Belfast, see someone about this, definitely.

 

[Idle Will Kill]

I sometimes wonder if I have some kind of anxiety disorder or something along those lines, and if I should be taking some medicine for it. Then I realize that 90% of the time I'm feeling these anxieties that it's just my head fucking with me, and that if I really concentrate, I can beat it in my head. I guess there's a ton of stuff I still haven't figured out how to "beat," but I don't think throwing medicine at it would be the correct answer.

 

[Belfast]

Well, as I said, I'm sort of getting over my anxiety. I'm not perfect yet, but its better than it was. I thought this way sometimes before and I did bring it up with the psych I was seeing and she didn't see a real problem there. It just feels like it might be worse now, sans the anxiety. I *may* see someone about it, but I've been through so many doctor visits and crap this summer that I'm tired of it and its cost my parents some money already. I dunno, maybe it is just a phase, though. It does seem to happen almost randomly, though, with no exact frequency or intensity to it. Sometimes I can shrug it off, sometimes I can't.

 

[rs7k]

I feel like that very often. Sometimes it feels like it happens all the time and that it's a normal part of my life. I noticed that sometimes it'll eventually goes away when my sleep schedule gets back to normal.

Do you do drugs, or done them in the past?

 

[RevenantKioku]

I've been battling social anxiety for a long time, and no I'm not winning.
I just can't bring myself to take medication for it.
That's what pisses me off the most though, I saw like 3 different people, and they all just wanted to throw medication down my throat, but I'm not buying it.
Thing that I don't get is, I had almost no problem with anything while I was in Japan, but right when I came back to the states, I had issues.
I went out to bars, talked to girls, and so on, but back in the states, I just can't do it.

 

[Belfast]

I feel like that very often. Sometimes it feels like it happens all the time and that it's a normal part of my life. I noticed that sometimes it'll eventually goes away when my sleep schedule gets back to normal.

Do you do drugs, or done them in the past?

Nope. No drugs. I'm clean. And the last time I even had a drop of alcohol (and even then, I very rarely drink) was about 6 months ago.

 

[RevenantKioku]

Nope. No drugs. I'm clean. And the last time I even had a drop of alcohol (and even then, I very rarely drink) was about 6 months ago.

I realize alcohol is a depressant, but I drank often, yet lightly in Japan, and I wasn't negatively affected....perhaps I just need to stop thinking about everything.

Hell that's generally a good "work around" although its pretty damn difficult.

 

[bjork]

A very good friend of mine gave me some simple advice once that really worked. She just said, "You think too much. Don't overanalyze."

It's true, too. I mean, unless you somehow managed to kill a busful or nuns accidentally, there's no need to second guess yourself. Just do your thing and that's that.

 

[Belfast]

When I drank, and like I said it wasn't often, I didn't ever drink enough to reach that depression stage. More like a mild buzz if anything......I kind of feel like I did when they first put me on Xanax for anxiety when it first developed, except I'm not taking any psychoactive drugs now. :\ I just feel like a fucking zombie....no interest in anything and a slight disorientation or disinterest in my surroundings...

Edit: Yeah, that's kind of what my psych told me about the weird thoughts my imagination came up with. Its just not real. I'm not a person capable of doing bad things, I never have been. And while I agree with the "not overthinking things" its hard not to at the same time. Still, there's something else to this. This disconnected feeling seems only tangental to my weird imagination.

 

[RevenantKioku]

Sounds like you need stimuli.
Find something you know you really love, a book, album, game, and force yourself to go through it. Completing it doesn't matter, but it might spark some motivation.
Any time I get down as of late, I pop on an ep of One Piece and it gets me motivated to work on my Japanese.

 

[Belfast]

I've tried stimuli, and it works...sometimes. Like in the way I mentioned before that I can sometimes stave off this feeling for a little while. But since it keeps coming back despite that, it worries me.

 

[MrAngryFace]

Life seems really surreal sometimes (could be all the advil I take), but I dont feel disconnected too much.

 

[RevenantKioku]

I've tried stimuli, and it works...sometimes. Like in the way I mentioned before that I can sometimes stave off this feeling for a little while. But since it keeps coming back despite that, it worries me.

Yeah, I guess I did dodge your entire point. Personally, I think that if you feel like you're overcoming your anxiety, you'll be able to get past this phase by the same mannerisms that got you through your anxiety. Just keep it going one day at a time.

 

[way more]

I have that in different way. I'll be walking to class and I'll just have some weird feeling, like I don't feel like myself. Kind of a third person view, but its some feeling that I just can't shake, it almost like I'm not feeling anything. That happend for a week straight and then one day as I opened my door I realized I was just happy. I realized at that point that I was happy, there was no trauma in my life and these had been pleasant. I thought it was odd that it took me so long to realize what emotion that was but since then I've been able to handle things a lot better.

Sounds like you need stimuli.
Find something you know you really love, a book, album, game, and force yourself to go through it. Completing it doesn't matter, but it might spark some motivation.
Any time I get down as of late, I pop on an ep of One Piece and it gets me motivated to work on my Japanese.

This sounds like good advice, just try it with something new.

 

[MrAngryFace]

Its all just a case of being self-aware. Most people dont talk about this because they just arent as self aware as others. People online tend to be, which would explain why its so common for us to feel detached from a situation since we dont live in the moment like dumb people.

 

[MonkeyBoy]

you could be bi-polar and need some medication + a girlfriend.

 

[MrAngryFace]

A girlfriend helps wonders. Who ISNT bipolar these days, tho?

 

[Belfast]

Read my posts. I mentioned my gf, already.

It does help. She's very supportive and caring.

I do admit that sometimes I do feel somewhat self-aware, but its self-aware in that bad way. Sort of like how they always say if a man were given the secret to life or suddenly knew everything in the universe, it'd make his head explode. I totally get the "3rd-person view" kind of feeling, too. You know, maybe I *can* get through this like I did the anxiety, but with the anxiety I was able to deal with it over the summer. I have school now and this could put a major damper on my ability to focus and/or go to class. I didn't even go to class today at all because of this, but at least I can sort of use the excuse of a drop/add period to justify it, even though I know I won't be changing my schedule.

 

[MrAngryFace]

Take lots of advil.

 

[BlackMage]

get a dog!

 

[way more]

That's one thing I like about school, when the rest of my life is going to crap I can just focus on the work.

 

[MrAngryFace]

Man, I cant. If shits going down I cant focus at all.

 

[Mike]

As some of you may know from other threads, I had a bit of a battle with anxiety this summer. Thankfully, I think I'm starting to get over that. While I've had a few instances lately where my heart rate has risen pretty quickly, I have...for the most part, been able to control myself. Every test I've had has come back negative and so, for all intents and purposes, I am physically pretty healthy.

However, I fear that maybe its given rise to a new problem. Maybe its only a phase, and maybe its just what happens when I have to readjust myself to new surroundings, but for the past week/week-and-a-half I've been having frequent episodes where I not only feel somewhat depressed, but disconnected from things around me, too. Its all completely irrational, too. I haven't really been worried about people looking down on me, so its not a social thing....and I haven't had any actual hallucinations (though I do think up weird crap sometimes which disturbs me that I even though about it), so I don't think I'm going nuts. I haven't been physically or sexual abused ever and I've had no trauma besides maybe the anxiety I developed over the summer.

How I feel can only really be described as feeling disconnected, though. I suddenly don't feel like a part of my surroundings or like I "belong" where I am, and besides that, things that seem out of context to me can also trigger it. I could be sitting in one of my classes and notice the bare, yellow walls or something and suddenly feel disturbed by it. Sometimes I can keep myself busy enough to stave it off for a little while, but it comes back...rather because I idle too long or I just have a random thought. Its definitely interfering with my interests and my concentration and my girlfriend has noticed that I definitely act/feel gloomy sometimes.

There are way too many mental disorders out there to really sort through, and maybe this is just regular old depression and maybe I need to get treated for it ( though there is that nagging feeling that if I do, something worse could happen or I'd never feel like myself again), so does anyone else feel like this? Any input on what it might be? I can provide more input if its needed, but it does feel like it could be something that preys on my ability to function.

You should spend more of your free time indoors talking to strangers on internet message boards. That should help your mental health.

 

[Belfast]

Thanks man. Seriously, you just solved all my problems. You deserve a medal!

 

[Mike]

Well, you get the gist, right?

 

[Chrono]

I'm not sure if it's the same feeling as yours, but a lot of times in the day I look at anything (and I mean anything-- anime character, color of garbage bin, choice of words on chemistry text...) and suddenly my mind takes over and I feel just disturbed and confused and a lot of anxiety. Most of the times my mind makes a "link" or "association" between that item and another thing which leads to another until it hits a controversial topic (like religion) or a really, really bad memory I want to forget. In most of the times I can't "get out" of that state because it feels as if I need to "solve" my away out of it. It's impossible though. Most of those irrational thoughts are things that I can not change and the fact that that's how those things are in this world just bothers me and makes me feel anxious.


The closest thing I've ever felt to being "disconnected" is just a COMPLETE lack of motivation to do anything-- even eat. I would just sit some times and feel like I'm running on an endless road and just stop and think how much better I would feel if I just... disappeared. If I could sleep and NEVER wake up. Or if a God exists he can come down here and show me the blue print for the universe and the human mind... along with some pictures of heaven. That would make me feel better.


The only advice I can give you is this: just do what you gotta do and continue living.

If one time you feel depressed and anxiety is taking over. Take a break. Don't try to "solve it" as it won't go away but don’t also try to ignore it. If you can ignore it then go for it but I'm guessing you can't since you started this thread. Try to give those thoughts/imaginations minimal importance. For example I used to go crazy once I make an association between a real life issue (terrorism... religion..) or a person from my life to a game or anime. I worry that now I'll never enjoy those again and then worry more when I'm studying or going out just thinking about them like how I would think about any problem. The more you think about it the more serious it becomes. I try to just leave these voices on a very low volume and some times I actually forget about them and sometimes I can't. The times I can't I just shrug it and well, live with it. I pretend it's not a really big deal and once you're in that mind set it becomes easier. Especially when you think that all that thinking will GET YOU NO WHERE and that there are other people living their lives very normally not having to go through what you're going through. The only difference between you and them is some chemical imbalances in your head-- that's it. You don't deserve this nor do you have to bear with it.


I hope that helps.


btw, how did you 'beat' anxiety? Did you read any books or anything or did it just get phased out with time? I'm planning to go to a doctor after this semester and see if any of the drugs can help me... Honestly however, I think going to a doctor will make things worse as the trip will be some kind of "recognition" that a problem exists and that's when anxiety takes over. =\

 

[slayn]

and so I learn yet another reason why I shouldn't want to overcome my social anxiety... a winner is me.

 

[Belfast]

My anxiety was never social, though it would sometimes prevent me from wanting to go out and do things. It was the feat of having an attack in public, not necessarily that I was IN public with other people. Nonetheless, I overcame anxiety but ultimately coming to terms with the idea that it is what it is. I had tons of different tests, some several times, and not one of them said that anything was physically wrong with my body. Most of my fears were brought on by the idea that there was. These fears have mostly been eliminated now and I'll just have to trust what the tests have said. I still have certain instances where my anxiety is heightened, but its nowhere near as bad.

I dunno, *maybe* I can beat this the same way, but once again, anxiety took me a few months. I can't afford to take months off during the school year.

 

[Chrono]

I dunno, *maybe* I can beat this the same way, but once again, anxiety took me a few months. I can't afford to take months off during the school year.

Well, one way is to use school as a motive to beat it. For example, emphasizing the importance of school work in your mind could pull down the "priority" level of those thoughts/imaginations and let you immerse yourself in studying.

This actually works for me. Before I start, I can NOT touch anything related to school. No way. However, once I start everything else fades away and little by little I get the work done. It's like I put my mind in "priority mode" and just push aside everything else. It takes a bit of time. The idea is to hammer in the fact THIS (physics HW, English paper, etc..) is essential to your survival NOW and everything else can wait including those thoughts. I think as if I actually want to "resume" those anxieties after my studies to convince myself to push them aside. Of course by the time I'm done I feel good and they're not that important anymore. At least for a while. I do the same when doing other activities.

 

[firex]

Whenever I feel down, I just go on an elaborately planned killing spree and pin it on someone else.

 

[cvxfreak]

My definition of disconnected is when you can't seem to flow from one minute to the next, when one minute seems like an eternity and the next a short splash of time. I feel disconnected when I can't seem type out a paragraph coherently, or take a bite out of the cereal and not do so again for a few minutes. This happens to me when I'm sad or depressed, which isn't too often, but it happens. I take "disconnected" quite literally when your life stops being smooth.

 

[White Man]

Don't see an analyst unless you absolutely need to; don't do it unless it becomes a life or death matter. Setting youself up with intentional personal or chemical codependency is a mistake far too many individuals in the world make today. I shiver every time I see somebody get a response of 'SEE A DOCTOR!!' when they mention that they are depressed or disaffected.

I used to be horribly disconnected. I eventually got over it. I think it had more to do with being in an awkward social niche during my adult formative years than any substantial mental problem. I wouldn't be absolutely shocked if every young person goes through a period of years where they feel disconnected. The world is a cold, dark place, and we grow up being optimistic that we will somehow work out a non-difficult and comfortable existence. When we realize that this is impossible, there is a response of mental conditioning that makes us want to distance ourselves from the world. Of course, we cannot do that, so we just end up feeling awkward and out of place.

Maybe I'm just talking bullshit. I'm far from comfortable. I have steel-cold dreams of slot-eyed opressors manipulating me without so much as a flinch of resistance. I almost made a thread about my dreams (again) the other day, but I think it's best to keep them to myself. Whatever. Belfast, don't feel alone and don't feel the need to see an analyst.

 

[BlackSalad]

I feel the same way, just sorta feel like seperating yourself and going to someone close like family or a close friend that I am comfortable with. It usually happens to me when my self esteem is low/not comfortable with my surroundings (aka like being a freshman in college)

 

[White Man]

I believe a line of distinction could be drawn between interpersonal disconnection (aka, not getting the social world in one way or another) and a more overbearing, black and crushing existential disconnection. Everyone feels each at one time or another, but it is the second one that gets to people since it's more difficult to understand. Every person has their own variant. It's a dilemma that takes 20 or so years to build, and each person gets their own unique and well-crafted take on it.

Don't be afraid to think too much either. It's when we start believing those people that say 'You think too much' that we begin losing at life. Never be afraid of thinking. The same people that are such advocates of not thinking too much are likely the first to point you to a doctor when you have the mental equivalent of a stubbed toe.

 

[Mike]

Don't see an analyst unless you absolutely need to; don't do it unless it becomes a life or death matter.

Okay, I won't be sarcastic about this one for the sake of clarity; this is really dangerous, immature advice.