Support NeoGAF

[Naked Snake]

I finally got a real job (the first ever in my life), today was my 3rd day and I'm already kicking all kinds of ass (got promoted already!)... It's a newly opened company or more accurately a newly opened subdivision of an international firm (they've only been working for a couple of weeks), and it's a mess down there. Lack of organization, incompetent employees, wrong people in the wrong positions, and other problems are slowing down productivity and the whole company is missing "deadlines".

Anyway, one of the big managers asked me to write an evaluation report on each employee in my team (basically tell him who's good and who's not and what are their problems), I told him that I need more time to get to know them better to give a fair judgment, but he's very impatient about it, he obviously believes in me and the company needs serious restructuring and organization as soon as possible, so that's probably why he wants it so soon. I just don't know how to go about writing it, I can already tell what are some of the good points and weak points of everyone I'm working with, but I don't want to unfairly increase someone's chances of losing their job... Are there any obvious things that I should or shouldn't say? What are the standard workplace politics/ethics regarding this matter (if any)... help me out GAF.

 

[Tamanon]

Wow, sounds rather haphazard sounding job. The thing to keep in mind is vagueness of support. Don't throw all your weight into one corner unless you have to. But seriously....a review after a few days of knowing someone.....that sounds rather shady, I'd keep an eye out. You might be being set up for a fall yourself! :lol

 

[Fragamemnon]

Sometimes in business you have to work with limited information. Just be honest and put together what your boss is asking and note the places in which there are holes in your information because you haven't had the time to observe things as well as you would like.

 

[Justin Bailey]

How in the hell do they expect you to do a performance review of co-workers on your third damn day? WTF kind of management is this?

Seriously, there's no way you can write a real review of someone in that short of a timespan.

 

[Prospero]

WTF kind of management is this?

That is the best answer possible here. Also, getting promoted after three days? It's like the start of one of those dot-com era corporate histories.

Anyway, even though you shouldn't be doing a performance review, if I were in your position I'd make all my responses as noncommittal as possible. If you got promoted in three days, someone else could get promoted over you just as easily.

 

[bishoptl]

The world must be coming to an end.

Anyways, it sounds to me like your boss is using you as a proxy for The Culling™. There's no way you can provide an effective report on each person in such a short time frame. He's already got his mind made up to slice numbers and as the new guy, you're his bloody sword of office retribution. A couple of questions:

- how many people does he expect you to review?
- what's the timeline for completion on this assignment?

 

[Dilbert]

With all due respect...you might want to begin your job search now.

If management is so incompetent as to be asking for your opinion -- on the record! -- of your coworkers after only three days on the job, you do NOT want to be working there.

Also, if there is any chance your coworkers -- or ex-coworkers, as the case may be -- find out that you were an input into the firing decision, you're basically screwed. Your boss is setting you up to take the fall. Recognize, and be gone.

 

[Slo]

Um, not to bring doom and gloom, but our company just did layoffs. The way it was done is that a low level manager was chosen to do all the dirty work, and when he'd finished he too got the axe. Basically, his boss didn't want to come off looking like the bad guy, so he delegated all the nastiness and then offed the fall guy.

Hopefully your situation is nothing like ours.

 

[Naked Snake]

Wow, sounds rather haphazard sounding job. The thing to keep in mind is vagueness of support. Don't throw all your weight into one corner unless you have to. But seriously....a review after a few days of knowing someone.....that sounds rather shady, I'd keep an eye out. You might be being set up for a fall yourself! :lol

I know why you would think that, it's very justifiable, but I can put your doubt to rest.

The president/owner (the BIG BOSS) of the entire company (international branches and all) is relative of mine, he hired me personally. He also promoted me today after I proved to him that I am a valuable employee, I don't want to stroke my ego or anything but I'm making decisions and suggestions that are helping everyone work better and faster, like I said the place is a mess and the employees are unexperienced, and while I'm most likely the least experienced of them, I happen to have the best education/degree out of them, and that seems to have paid off. Two guys already got laid off and more might follow, and we're looking to hire new people soon... I worked as a "technician" so far, but today I showed some serious ass-kicking in front the BIG BOSS so he immediately promoted me to "supervisor" and gave me an office with a PC. I'm pretty sure I'm not being set up for a fall

I know it sounds like a shady job, but I think it has a promising future, this "subdivision" only got started and it can only get better from here, the owner's other companies are very successful and he's making tons of money, and he's very serious about making this one work. He's just too busy and is rarely available at this new location, so he's letting some underlings manage the place, and they're not doing a very good job at it, but I bet things will settle down slowly and everything will be fine (with my help, haha).

I just don't know about this review thing, I guess I'll just put down what I know, and include a clear disclaimer that my review should by no means be taken as gospel since I didn't spend much time with these people.

 

[bishoptl]

The president/owner (the BIG BOSS) of the entire company (international branches and all) is relative of mine, he hired me personally.

OH NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE :lol

I happen to have the best education/degree out of them

They give out masters' degrees in weed smoking now?

today I showed some serious ass-kicking in front the BIG BOSS so he immediately promoted me to "supervisor" and gave me an office with a PC.

WTF with all the MGS references man

include a clear disclaimer that my review should by no means be taken as gospel since I didn't spend much time with these people.

Well I don't know what the labor laws are like in Jordan, but if a manager did that here and the canned employee found out, that'd be clear grounds for a massive lawsuit. Nepotism ahoy!

 

[Naked Snake]

- how many people does he expect you to review?
- what's the timeline for completion on this assignment?

- About 5 guys (not counting the two that got axed already).

- There doesn't seem to be a forced deadline for it, he wanted it THIS morning (he told me about yesterday, yeah yeah on my SECOND day on the job, I expect thread meltdown now), but I couldn't do it last night as I was busy and tired. I was expecting him to be pissed off when he asks about it today, but he took it very nicely when I told him that I didn't do it and he said it's okay. When I was leaving home today, he told me "Tomorrow?", I said "Umm, either tomorrow or the day after, I'm busy"... He said "Okay".

-- on the record! --

It's actually off the record, he asked me to do it privately and told me to "keep it between us", and I didn't notice any of my co-workers behaving any different with me, you'd expect them to be all nice to me if they knew I was going to evaluate them.

 

[Justin Bailey]

This sounds sketchy as fuck.

 

[Naked Snake]

This sounds sketchy as fuck.

Jordan = 3rd world country != America

 

[Naked Snake]

OH NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE :lol

Haha, you think? Dude, I'm REALLY good

They give out masters' degrees in weed smoking now?

:lol :lol

WTF with all the MGS references man

Don't be hatin, MGS rocks man.

 

[ronito]

Just take his words for what they mean. He obviously has some suspicions about one of your co-workers and wants to be re-affirmed before he takes any action. That way he can say, "Well, he thinks so too!" if he gets in trouble. If it weren't your first job, I'd suggest taking the smart alec route and setup a meeting with him in a private meeting, come in with a ton of notes and give meaningless feedback like:

"Well, Joe. I've noticed he likes to wear a lot of blue."
"And Janice, she smells like soup."
"And Bill, he misdials the phone sometimes. But I think those were accidents and not intentional."

If the guy had any wits about him he'd get the message that you just can't tell anything about these people in such a short time. Of course, if he's not the witty kind then he'll think you're an incompetent loon. Either way, good times will be had!

 

[Justin Bailey]

Jordan = 3rd world country != America

Sketchiness has no nationality.

 

[mosaic]

This reminds of that episode of Cheers where Norm was given the task of firing everyone.

"This is Norm Peterson."

"Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggh!!"

"This is Norm Peterson, muahahaha!"

 

[Naked Snake]

This sounds sketchy as fuck.

Everything is relative. The whole country or the most of the Arab world could fall under "sketchy" by your standards.

 

[Amused_To_Death]

Man, there are people with families and lives that might hang in the balance of a guy who got his first job because his relative owns the company and he wants him to review everyone on the third day...Sure, sounds very reasonable...

Seriously dude, I don't care if it's Jordan or the Moon, tell your relative/boss to fuck himself and get the hell out of there, quickly! And before you leave, talk to your co-workers and tell them what's going on. Have some integrity and do the RIGHT THING. I've done some work with Arabic firms and if it's one thing that they still lack, it's integrity and honesty. People will give you the shirt off their backs, but when it comes to business, they need to change their reputation. Set a different example, start the revolution...