GAF Anonymous Confessions thread 4.0 the last huzzah

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Green Scar said:
Start from $200

Maybe $500
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I know how the Lolita look is very big, with older girls dressing up to look younger, pigtails and kneesocks and all of that. What would be the gay male equivalent? Dressed up like a prep school student? Or maybe some fishnet shirts for a gothboi look? Surely he could break 100.

NaughtyCalibur said:
Dude sounds like a modern day Midnight Cowboy.

He should let me be his Dustin Hoffman.
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Everybody's talkin at me..I don't hear a word they're sayin.
Only the echoes of my mind.
 
Kind of want to get this off my chest. I feel nasty and guilty about this all the time.

For a period of time i lived in China. I did my job and made money. It was pretty straight forward, the food was great, work was easy, and the people were nice. Maybe too nice. Ladies threw themselves at me as a white man. Rarely did i indulge in them though. I just didn't know if they had anything i would regret later. There was one girl who worked at a crappy shop selling jeans though.

From deep down inside, i could see her frothing over me and i loved it. I loved the attention from one random, crappy sales girl. We started talking and eventually we went out to dinner just before i had to go back to the states. We made out, nothing too serious. Once i got back though, i talked to her a lot online. Told her lies, told her that i loved her and that i would marry her, and i'd come back and live with her. Eventually i forced her into masturbating for me. And we'd, i don't know, "webcam" with me and her watching each other wank ourselves. I'd force her to get naked for me. Force her to do things she didn't want to do, but did anyways because she was too weak and i could take advantage.

I'm not a psychopath, this disgusted me too. I'd try to break it off though and she was too desperate to leave me. So every once and a while I'd come back and see her do what i told her to do. Eventually i understood it wasn't as much about sex as it was about control. I loved forcing someone to do anything i told them to do. I loved living a double life that no one else knew about, having this secret girlfriend. All the while she thinks this is an actual relationship and i'll live up to my promises. That was part of it, trying to convince her. Controlling her.

To this day i don't have a normal girlfriend because of this. I just can't trust myself. I hate myself. But i can't stop. Any time I'm alone i'll talk to her and cyber with her and pretend it's real. I don't know. If you met me you'd have no idea and no one does.
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I really wonder how much of this "forcing her" and idea of your power over her is in your own head. I mean how are you forcing her? Blackmail? I mean you're on the other side of the world, it's not like you can physically threaten her. Sure you're a manipulative asshole but don't let your illusion of power go to your head even further than it already has. If she was tired of you ignore is an easy function to use. You're being manipulative and taking advantage of someone is childish, but you're no James Spader in Secretary unless I'm missing something.
 
ronito said:
I really wonder how much of this "forcing her" and idea of your power over her is in your own head. I mean how are you forcing her? Blackmail? I mean you're on the other side of the world, it's not like you can physically threaten her. Sure you're a manipulative asshole but don't let your illusion of power go to your head even further than it already has. If she was tired of you ignore is an easy function to use. You're being manipulative and taking advantage of someone is childish, but you're no James Spader in Secretary unless I'm missing something.
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some men just want to see the world masturbate, Ronito.
 
akira28 said:
I know how the Lolita look is very big, with older girls dressing up to look younger, pigtails and kneesocks and all of that. What would be the gay male equivalent? Dressed up like a prep school student? Or maybe some fishnet shirts for a gothboi look? Surely he could break 100.
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Totally willing to wear the Lolita dress and sell myself for 100$. You provide the dress.
 
ronito said:
I love that the confessor was like,
"I feel terrible about myself because I prostitute myself."

And GAF is like, "Who cares about that? You should feel bad because you're cheap!"
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Well, if he charged more, he wouldn't have to prostitute himself out as much, and ultimately not feel as bad about it.
 
Crunched said:
My dad also made mistakes in the past, but he is still a part of the family. I can kind of see where this confession is coming from, except my dad just sucks. He is a seflsih racist bigot who puts me down every chance he gets, and is always looking for a way to scam others or game the system. I go out of my way to avoid him. So in a way I envy those with absentee fathers!

Just about fifteen minutes ago he called to tell me my father's day present to him sucked and I am going nowhere in life, then complained I haven't come to visit him since Easter. Man, I hate him.

Because I am feeling pretty pissed off, here is a quick non-anon confession/rant:

My junior year of college I was really struggling financially. I was working two part time jobs and taking a full course load. I was living basically paycheck to paycheck, with rent and tuition taking up a huge chunk of my finances. When my dad found out about that, he told me I could ask him anytime for help.

I hate asking anyone for help, let alone my superiority-complexed father, but about two weeks after this I could not deal with the debt anymore. I didn't want to have to take out a loan, but I was sick of fast food and ramen, and I was having trouble keeping up on rent. So I call up my dad.

"I think I will have to take you up on that offer for help. I don't need much, maybe a couple hundred, and I will pay you back when I can."

"About that, I don't think I'll be able to help out after all."

"Even just like $50 would be a huge help."

"Yeah, I just bought a grand piano. It's an antique, from 1904. $20,000, and another $10,000 to have it restored."

"What? Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

I think I just hung up at that point. No one in my family even plays piano. To this day he has the thing, a full sized antique grand piano, in the front room of his house. It is in great condition, looks brand new, and has gold trim all around the edges. He gets it tuned twice a year. It has never been played.

I am the only person in my family to have graduated college, outside of my mother (who went back as a student in her late 30s -- she and I started around the same time). My little brother is a college drop out with several arrests and couple stints of rehab under his belt. He's spent time as a drug dealer, hasn't held a single job for over a year, and has severe anger management problems. Three months ago my dad threw a party for him and bought him a house -- just because.

I don't know why my dad doesn't like me. I don't know that I am even upset about it. It's clear I am a disappointment to him, but I don't know why, and he has never even attempted to elaborate on what his problems with me are. He always just yells at me to "get it together," or "grow up," but I always feel like I am doing the best I can. I spent most of my childhood picking up his slack and fixing his fuck ups, to the point where I really don't feel like I had a childhood at all. I worked for him at the family business starting in sixth grade, and spent my nights, 4p-9p, nearly every day through my senior year of high school, working for him as a waiter and dishwasher for literally no pay (until I got a car, at which point he started giving me $50 a week for gas).

When I left home at 17 years old, he hired on one of my younger brothers and paid him the legal minimum wage. It's like he goes out of his way to make it obvious I'm being shorted.

Last real conversation I had with him he lamented my lack of manners, and how I don't treat him with any respect. All the while I'm biting my tongue and thinking to myself, "that's only because you are a massive asshole."

Sometimes it feels like I am in the movie Hot Rod and all I want to do is beat him in a fight.

I remember when I was real young, maybe 10 or 11, I made a bet against him and won (it was something stupid, like what the dates were for changing the clock for daylight savings time). He paid out $50 and I remember him saying to me, "I know you wouldn't give this to me if you lost, but I'm giving it to you because that's what a real man does."

I gotta stop adding to this. Getting way off track. Just, man, fuck my dad. I do not know a single other person who is as much of a fuck as he is.
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Your ability to not lean on him makes him insecure. Thats what i think. Seems like your other siblings lean on him and it makes him feel important.
 
shintoki said:
Totally willing to wear the Lolita dress and sell myself for 100$. You provide the dress.
Click to expand...

I read these replies as was about to say how I'd totally do the same thing, but then I realized we're talking about a different kind of Lolita outfit. *heh* With the cost of the ones I'm thinking, I just want that free dress!
 
Hello GAF, I have two confessions.

1) I was told this story when I was thirteen, and it has really messed with my sex life / psyche in general. I was working with my dad one day at our family carwash when somehow the topic of incest was brought up (we live in Florida, always make southern jokes like this). Well, the light hearted banter took a turn for the worse when my dad said "How much do you remember from when you were about five?"

I replied that I remembered almost nothing, and certainly I don't remember anything of a specific age. I view my past as a cohesive, whole story, I don't really break things up into 'this happened this year, this happened when I was this many years old'. Then he told me something that caused me to shut down for the day, leave work, and fuck with my mind since.

He told me he walked in on my cousin and I, and she was giving me a blowjob. Said she was sucking on my cock and I was holding the back of her head, playing with her hair. This was extremely distressing, as this is my favorite cousin and probably one of the only extra-nuclear family members that I feel I can trust. She is two years older than me.

Now, evidently my juvenile little brain blocked that memory out because I had NO idea this had happened. But my dad had to be an asshole, and remove the tarp covering the memory. Ever since my father has told me what happened, any time I get head there will be a second or two where I think tis my cousin on mine manhood and I have a semi-panic attack.

Her and I are still good friends, talk to each other frequently, and I don't feel any sort of sexual chemistry whatsoever which is reassuring. Still, I have to think if she remembers doing this... have never asked her. Never will.

2) I am currently at a state university, living away from home. I have student loans to pay for tuition, but my parents pay my rent, cell phone bill, and give me 300$ of spending cash a month.

I already feel like a piece of shit typing this out.

The first thing I do when I get that 300 $ check from my mom is deposit it, withdraw 60$, and I head off to find the best weed I can buy. I don't go buy groceries, I don't pay my friends debts back (I owe each of my roommates like 10 bucks for random things here and there, that they have spotted me because I am a fuck up with money.), until I have weed in my possession. Whats more, my parents agreed to send me the cash fullheartedly as long as I kept my GPA at a 3.5 or above. I don't have the stomach to tell them its a 2.7... and I continue to take their money, and smoke it away. When all is said and done in a month, half of that check goes towards illegal drugs (sometimes buy acid), a quarter towards food, and another quarter towards something I totally don't need such as a video game or a few novels. It hurts, because my parents truly trust me. They think I'm still their exemplary son, excelling in school, working towards my degree, and really doing something positive with my life up here. Instead, I've become a stagnant pile of filth.

So, I'm living in an apartment my parents pay for, off of my parents money, getting high off of their funds, and I'm not even holding true to our agreement. I also am a sophomore, and have no idea what I want to be in life. I have fucked up my dream of going to medical school. I wake up, smoke a bowl in the AM, go to class, smoke a bowl when I come home. Then I'll browse GAF, play games, read, do homework, and smoke another time before I go to sleep.

I'm high more than I'm sober, more often than not. I haven't done my laundry in weeks because any time I think to start it, I get stoned before hand to make the chore more bearable, and then I just forget about my clothes entirely.
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1) At least now you know why she's your favorite cousin!

2) You could at least work for your drug money. I mean $60? This thread taught me there's a quick way to turn $60.
 
I consider myself to be a decent person but I have a confession to make to NeoGaf. It concerns my use of women over the past 10+ years and how that has now come back to bite me in the ass.


I was a HUGE gamer/nerd/dork in high school in college and never had a date. I had one make-out session in college but never a real girlfriend. It wasn’t until I graduated, came back home and started to take steps to change my appearance and become more social that I started to get dates. It’s also when the trouble started.


Once I started dating (mainly online) I would use women. I would talk to them, take them out on a date or two, sleep with them and then never call them again. It was my M.O. but as a dude in his early 20s I just saw it as “normal” behavior. Maybe making up for not having a girlfriend in high school or college.


This behavior continued for over 10 years, punctuated by serious relationships. The problem was that I used the women I was in serious relationships with too. I would use them for money, for a place to live, for emotional support, without ever really caring about them. I told them that I loved them but all the while I never really felt it. I would drain them – emotionally, financially, whatever and then leave to start the process all over again. Keep in mind that I never did anything illegal. I would just prey on their feelings and love for me.


The problem with this is that these women HATE me, as they should and while I never did anything illegal I was certainly immoral. I’m sure that several of the women would love some sort of revenge.


Flash forward to about a year ago when I meet a woman who will change everything for me. We go out on a couple of dates and I’m instantly in love. Hell, I didn’t know what love was until I met this girl. We date for several months and one day she breaks up with me out of the blue. I find out that it’s to go out with her ex because she considers that relationship “unfinished.” I see the end of the relationship with this perfect woman as punishment for my past sins and I vow to do things right this time.


The woman and I remain friends and become close friends. We talk every day and the renewed relationship with her ex is doomed from the start. I do everything I can for this woman because I’m head over heels in love with her. I do things the “right way” and it works. Late last year she tells me “we should just get married.” She breaks up with the other dude and we do.

I now have the perfect life. A great wife, a couple of dogs, a house. Everything that I could ever want. However, all of those women I fucked over in the past have come back to haunt me. Several of them found out I was married and have contacted my wife and told her all sorts of things about me. Most of it true, some of it not. She believes all of it and my life is in shambles. We’re separated and she barely talks to me. She thinks I’m a monster, even though I only treated her with the love and respect she deserved. She says she can’t believe that she was “fooled” into marrying me, even though I’ve done everything to explain to her that she is different. I’m screwed and I have no clue what’s going to happen with my future.
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So let me be completely brutally honest. If she insists you "fooled" her into marrying you and you weren't a rapist or anything, just an asshole before, then she was never really serious about the marriage and is now just blaming any imperfections of her life on you. Truth be told marriage is about accepting the person as they are, not as they could be and certainly not as they once were. So unless you were above and beyond asshole and into illegal stuff, it probably wasn't gonna pan out anyway. I can understand that she'd be upset but if all you've ever done was treat her right you guys could've worked through it.
But this sudden blow up leads me to believe that this is just an excuse to get out. I'd rip the band-aid off, move on and be more upfront with people in the future. Because a "great wife' would at least listen to what you have to say. I'm not saying she shouldn't be upset but to say, "You punched a puppy when you were 16? I don't even know you anymore!!" is being a bit silly.
 
Wait. So your wife uses your past relationships against you? What the fuck is this shit. If you've been nice to your wife from the start as you suggest, treated her life, never fucked with her like you fucked with other women, what the fuck is the problem?
 
There's so many questions I have about that story. These girls hated you so much that they sought out your wife and told her all these horrible things about yourself? How did they even find out, were you still friends with them on facebook or something?
 
ronito said:
1) At least now you know why she's your favorite cousin!

2) You could at least work for your drug money. I mean $60? This thread taught me there's a quick way to turn $60.
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The most offensive part of this confession is the fact that he doesn't do his laundry because he's stoned.
 
Mordeccai said:
The most offensive part of this confession is the fact that he doesn't do his laundry because he's stoned.
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What makes me laugh was that I didn't even pick up on that as I was so shocked by everything else I was reading.

I wonder what that says about me?
More importantly what it says about you?
 
I feel bad for the dude who got a blowjob by his cousin. At that point, it's really just... I'm not even gonna get into it. That's just weird. What a bastardly dad.
 
I consider myself to be a decent person but I have a confession to make to NeoGaf. It concerns my use of women over the past 10+ years and how that has now come back to bite me in the ass.


I was a HUGE gamer/nerd/dork in high school in college and never had a date. I had one make-out session in college but never a real girlfriend. It wasn’t until I graduated, came back home and started to take steps to change my appearance and become more social that I started to get dates. It’s also when the trouble started.


Once I started dating (mainly online) I would use women. I would talk to them, take them out on a date or two, sleep with them and then never call them again. It was my M.O. but as a dude in his early 20s I just saw it as “normal” behavior. Maybe making up for not having a girlfriend in high school or college.


This behavior continued for over 10 years, punctuated by serious relationships. The problem was that I used the women I was in serious relationships with too. I would use them for money, for a place to live, for emotional support, without ever really caring about them. I told them that I loved them but all the while I never really felt it. I would drain them – emotionally, financially, whatever and then leave to start the process all over again. Keep in mind that I never did anything illegal. I would just prey on their feelings and love for me.


The problem with this is that these women HATE me, as they should and while I never did anything illegal I was certainly immoral. I’m sure that several of the women would love some sort of revenge.


Flash forward to about a year ago when I meet a woman who will change everything for me. We go out on a couple of dates and I’m instantly in love. Hell, I didn’t know what love was until I met this girl. We date for several months and one day she breaks up with me out of the blue. I find out that it’s to go out with her ex because she considers that relationship “unfinished.” I see the end of the relationship with this perfect woman as punishment for my past sins and I vow to do things right this time.


The woman and I remain friends and become close friends. We talk every day and the renewed relationship with her ex is doomed from the start. I do everything I can for this woman because I’m head over heels in love with her. I do things the “right way” and it works. Late last year she tells me “we should just get married.” She breaks up with the other dude and we do.

I now have the perfect life. A great wife, a couple of dogs, a house. Everything that I could ever want. However, all of those women I fucked over in the past have come back to haunt me. Several of them found out I was married and have contacted my wife and told her all sorts of things about me. Most of it true, some of it not. She believes all of it and my life is in shambles. We’re separated and she barely talks to me. She thinks I’m a monster, even though I only treated her with the love and respect she deserved. She says she can’t believe that she was “fooled” into marrying me, even though I’ve done everything to explain to her that she is different. I’m screwed and I have no clue what’s going to happen with my future.
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Damn, I would love to know which gaffer this is... just to say to him:

She (your ex wife) is totally in the wrong here... Sure you where an asshole, but you can't take previous relationships into accoun.

Also, why in hell would she even listen to them? It might just be mad exes that want you back and is out to destroy your current one for you.

You are better off without her.
 
ronito said:
What makes me laugh was that I didn't even pick up on that as I was so shocked by everything else I was reading.

I wonder what that says about me?
More importantly what it says about you?
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Well... shit, you have a point.

I think that says I'm perfectly fine with kids giving incestuous blowjobs and mooching off your parents, and not fine with dirty clothes.

It also probably means you're a normal person, I think most people would overlook that last little tidbit.

If that dudes dad was fucking with him, then holy shit. It would be one of the most masterful trolls I've ever seen.
 
ronito said:
1) At least now you know why she's your favorite cousin!

2) You could at least work for your drug money. I mean $60? This thread taught me there's a quick way to turn $60.
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1. You were five. I don't consider it incest, you didn't know any better. If you were 15 then it would be a different story.

2. Get a part time time and use the money to buy your drugs.
 
FairyD said:
1. You were five. I don't consider it incest, you didn't know any better. If you were 15 then it would be a different story.
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I would be surprised if even the cousin knew what she was doing. Maybe it wasn't even an actual blowjob (why the hell would a 7 year old do this?), just looking or something like that, maybe the dad saw it just for a second and then assumed what an adult would assume.
 
shintoki said:
Totally willing to wear the Lolita dress and sell myself for 100$. You provide the dress.
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.....meet me behind the school in 2 hours. >_> And take this permission slip, it needs to be signed by a parent.

now, to email my old friend wicked_red for one of her black and red lolita specials. what size corset do you wear? Restrictive or painfully restrictive?



hah, i just remembered a possible confession.
 
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