GAF Anonymous Confessions thread 4.0 the last huzzah

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ronito said:
So here's a not so anonymous confession from me.

Pro-active tl;dr: Ronito has friend who dates girl with kid who keeps leaving him. Ronito gives friend his trademark bad advice to leave the girl alone because she is only using him as a stable force in her life. Friend goes suicidal. Gets back with girl and they're married within 6 months. Ronito counting down the years until their divorce and friend's eventual suicide.
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sorry to hear that, seems like we know how this movie will go but feeling helpless since there's nothing you can really do to stop it from playing.
 
Zyzyxxz said:
sorry to hear that, seems like we know how this movie will go but feeling helpless since there's nothing you can really do to stop it from playing.
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Yeah, poor guy. It's just a matter of time. I feel bad because there's nothing I can do. I already tried to lay it out for him but he insists. This will end poorly.
 
My job title is "New Product Research and Development Specialist" but really I'm a corporate spy. I get paid by big companies (all of which you'd know) to go into their competitors and get information about their upcoming projects/products/customers.

Sometimes I make friends with the executives. Other times I dumpster dive for plans. Other times I get someone to get me files. I've even gone in and worked for a competitor for a few months and funneled information back to my client.

It's very easy. Companies pay millions for security systems but outsource their security guards to companies that pay them barely more than minimum wage. Throw a couple grand at a rent a cop and they wont care if they get fired and what you steal will almost always be worth more than a few grand. I don't even have to bribe guards, I can just buy someone lunch in return for the login, or even better slip a usb stick into their car or bag. When they want to see what's on it they plug it into the computer and boom I'm in.

And before GAF starts hating on me let me say that every major company does it. Every single one.
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I don't know what I'm allowed to say here. I can just say I've dealt with, um....the outcomes, or offerings of your kind of services. I always wondered where they got these guys and what they exactly did. This isn't terribly surprising that you're confessing to doing this. But it is interesting to see how it's done.
 
My job title is "New Product Research and Development Specialist" but really I'm a corporate spy. I get paid by big companies (all of which you'd know) to go into their competitors and get information about their upcoming projects/products/customers.

Sometimes I make friends with the executives. Other times I dumpster dive for plans. Other times I get someone to get me files. I've even gone in and worked for a competitor for a few months and funneled information back to my client.

It's very easy. Companies pay millions for security systems but outsource their security guards to companies that pay them barely more than minimum wage. Throw a couple grand at a rent a cop and they wont care if they get fired and what you steal will almost always be worth more than a few grand. I don't even have to bribe guards, I can just buy someone lunch in return for the login, or even better slip a usb stick into their car or bag. When they want to see what's on it they plug it into the computer and boom I'm in.

And before GAF starts hating on me let me say that every major company does it. Every single one.
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Let me know where to send a resume.
 
If I hadn't met my wife and had two amazing kids, I would have most likely killed myself long ago. They saved my life. I'd never tell them exactly that probably, but I make sure to always do my best to show them how much I love them, and how much they mean to me.

When I see one of my sons smile or hear my wife tell me that she loves me, I feel so incredibly ashamed that I ever even considered it.

But if I'm being totally honest, if something happened and I lost the three of them, I wouldn't be around very soon after.

But don't worry, detective gaf, none of us are going anywhere.

Anyway I know it's not an incest story, so sorry gaf.

Here's a more personal one though: the only memory I have of my birth father is when he left home on my birthday, saying he was going to go get some food, and never came back. Thanks, dad.

I actually did some genealogy stuff recently and found his address and stuff, but I won't ever contact him. I did find that my grandpa that I never met died a few years ago and sounded like a kinda cool guy (was a teacher and stuff) but probably never knew I existed. On his obituary under survived by it mentions his grandchildren by name. None of those area or my brothers. Fuck you, Chuck, thanks for stealing my grandfather away from me among other things.

I'll probably write more sometime although my life isn't really that interesting IMO.
 
Hey it's the corporate spy guy, I saw some people replied so I'll answer

How'd I get into it? I started as a consultant in NYC. Our bonuses were tied to our marketing campaign brining in more business than a certain competitor. I wanted that bonus.So on my own initiative I set up a meeting with the competitor's VP of Marketing. I made it look like I was a recruiter for another larger company and asked him what his plans were. He told me everything. I took it back to my team and we were able to put together a really strong campaign that made the competitor look bad. I got publically scolded when I made my techniques known. But privately I was praised. My boss put me to some other tasks. I made contacts and that's the rest of it.

While it sounds cool it's a pretty boring job. Most of it is dumpster diving and data gathering.

And no one gets hurt? No, everyone gets hurt. Companies charge you as much as possible.If nothing else guys like me help them do that by allowing them to collude without actually doing it, and not to mention taking away advantages from start ups. Everyone gets hurt. That's the game we play
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Well, I guess that's it.
 
Hi there,

So at the beginning of this year, I went on a holiday with a friend of mine to south east Asia. One of the countries we went to was Laos because we wanted to do tubing on the Mekong river in case they shut it down in future (look it up). One night we were chatting to these girls and eventually my friend took one back to our room. I wasn't liking what was left and was pretty drunk at this stage so scooted off soon after, walking the streets by myself and ducking in and out of bars drinking and carrying on. After a while, I went back to the room and my mate opened the door and said he needed 20 more minutes. Fair enough.

So I staggered away, this time going in the other direction towards the river. I come across this seedy little open-air bar and there's an Israeli dude there playing pool so I challenge him. We decide to play for money, 1000 KIP (Around $8US), we're both smashed so he has a shot, misses, I go, I miss, the game takes about 20 minutes. I end up winning and he asks for double or nothing which I accept. The second game is taking on a similar pattern when two local-looking girls walk in and sit at a booth near the pool table. They're just chatting and giggling in another language but I notice one of them (who's pretty damn cute) keeps looking over at me. So I stare back, give her a bit of a smirk and from then on, we're just giving each other the eye of the tiger the whole time I'm playing.

I end up losing the game, the Israeli dude leaves and I walk straight over to the table and sidle in next to the cute one, smile and say hi. That's when I work out that they pretty much can't speak English so what follows is 5 minutes of trying to drunkenly communicate via symbols and stuff. Anyway, after a bit, the cute girl says something in Laotian (?) to her friend, prompts me to get up then grabs me by the hand and leads me out of the bar. We walk further down the path near the river bank. It's a pretty shady spot and at this stage I'm starting to think I'm gonna get mugged, robbed and thrown in the river. But no! In a great twist, she starts making out with me like crazy. I quickly check downstairs to make sure she's actually a girl (had just come from Thailand and you can never be too careful), everything's in order so we keep making out for a bit then before I know it, she's taking off my shorts and blowing me.

Wow. I'm just standing there thinking to myself "how good is this" when a thought jumps into my head.... what if she's a hooker? I'd never paid for sex before but the way this has all happened so quickly makes me think that when I'm done, she might ask me for cash. I knew I had a few minutes to think about it (had drunk a heap) and was running through a bunch of scenarios in my head. Eventually, I finish in her mouth and at that point, I do what seemed like the absolute most logical thing to do at that time.........

I pull up my shorts, turn around and run like the absolute wind!! And I don't stop until I get back to our room. In between puffing and laughing, I explain the story to my friend and we're hysterical, since then we've always called it the C&R (come and run). It will remain a mystery whether I simply ripped a hooker off her $10US or so she probably would've charged or (worse) left a poor innocent local kneeling down feeling like a total sl*t. I don't really feel any remorse either way but still, have never told the story since. Also, I lost my flip flops because I kicked them off while she was blowing me.

Thanks, feel free to edit as required.
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I was about to do a proactive tl;dr for this but then I got to the end and it was totally worth it.

BTW, none of this confession has been edited.
 
ronito said:
My job title is "New Product Research and Development Specialist" but really I'm a corporate spy. I get paid by big companies (all of which you'd know) to go into their competitors and get information about their upcoming projects/products/customers.

Sometimes I make friends with the executives. Other times I dumpster dive for plans. Other times I get someone to get me files. I've even gone in and worked for a competitor for a few months and funneled information back to my client.

It's very easy. Companies pay millions for security systems but outsource their security guards to companies that pay them barely more than minimum wage. Throw a couple grand at a rent a cop and they wont care if they get fired and what you steal will almost always be worth more than a few grand. I don't even have to bribe guards, I can just buy someone lunch in return for the login, or even better slip a usb stick into their car or bag. When they want to see what's on it they plug it into the computer and boom I'm in.

And before GAF starts hating on me let me say that every major company does it. Every single one.
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This sounds like my dream job.

Seriously, whoever this poster is, I'll gladly travel to be hired and taught to do this job.

PM me!
 
I don't know whats worse. Ronito's stealth brag that he gets to hang out with Cyan or Cyan's stealth brag that he gets to hang out with Ronito

Less meet ups more confessions!
 
sorry for the derail back to the confessions:

I once kicked a baby in the face. A few friends were helping me move and they had a small baby with them they did a good job keeping the baby out of the way. Then after we were all done we were all sitting around and I got up to run to the bathroom and didn't see the baby on the floor and I accidentally kicked it right in the face. Poor baby had a black eye for weeks. My friends were a little pissed but understood it was an accident. But when we start talking at work about terrible things we've done I don't say anything because I know I've got them beat.
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Dude, your friends come to help you move and you repay them by kicking their baby in the face? Man that's awful.
 
ronito said:
sorry for the derail back to the confessions:



Dude, your friends come to help you move and you repay them by kicking their baby in the face? Man that's awful.
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Baby deserves it, what kind of asshole shows up while you're in the middle of moving and then doesn't help out?
 
Lol! Come and Run... That's such an awesome story! Best confession in here for at least a few pages.

I'd love it if Ronito got a confession from that girl..

imaginary confession said:
I have a confession I'm not proud of. I once met this random guy at a bar. We went outside near a riverbank and I gave him head. I must have offended him or something because at the very instant he came, he pulled up his pants and ran like the wind! I never saw him again.
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And that baby getting kicked... Hilarious!
I can just imagine how it went down. Poor baby must have cried like crazy, but it's so funny!

exYle said:
Baby deserves it, what kind of asshole shows up while you're in the middle of moving and then doesn't help out?
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Lirlond said:
Even ate pizza. Fucking lazy ass baby.
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I love gaf...
 
Pro-active tl;dr: Confessor makes up emo story with a shy delicate girl named Emily. They get involved though confessor is too cool to be truly interested in her. blah blah blah she finally gets naked and has all these scars from abuse and then confessors tells this abuse story which ends up with Emily's mother murdered and Emily left for dead. They end up having the sex. Emily freaks out claiming confessor raped her and took advantage of her. Unsurprisingly she ends up committing suicide cue "How could this happen to me?!" music.

I'm 21 and im going into my final year of Uni I live on campus in my own apartment with a friend, last year I met this really cute girl named "emily", long brown hair,bright baby blue eyes, but very shy and dresses very conservatively. She sat next to me in one of my history classes, and I tried to talk to her, but, she never talks, she just sorta stares at her book the entire time. She always arrives early to class and leaves after everyone else, so weird, but, I figure she's just shy.

It was a day she didn't show up for class, my professor asked me since I had stayed late if I could deliver the note to her, because he said "She has special needs and can't always be here in class". I agreed, and he told me where her dorm was. So, I go over to her dorm, and knock on the door. She doesnt answer, but, her roommate does. Her roommate was a tall black haired brown eyed woman named Rebecca. I gave her the notes, and Rebecca smiled and asked me to come in and wait for her because emily would be happy to know I brought her notes in. As we talk, she tells me she's an RA, and Emily is her roommate, she's known for years, she says Emily has social anxiety and sees a therapist once a week. After a shortwhile Emily comes home with groceries, and is shocked to see me. She asks in a meek voice what im doing here, and I get up and introduce myself and tell her I was just giving her the notes for today. So I say, it was nice meeting everyone, but, i've got to go get ready for work. She said thank you in a hushed voice before I left.

That was just sorta the start of our relation. Over the weeks, i begin talking to her, and Rebecca, and just sorta join their group.

Over the months we hit it off me and emily, I begin coaxing her out of her shell, and learn she's attracted to me. It was around X-mas break we kissed for the first time. It was an accident, we were just talking in the park, and she started tearing up saying she didnt want to leave me and rebecca. (she has a very bad relation with her parents who have abused her in the past and still treat her like garbage) and hoped break would end soon. She brought her head to rest on my shoulder, and I looked down, and we sorta kissed. She got embarrassed and left. Next day as everybody was leaving and nobody was around she gave me a goodbye kiss and her number.

After X-mas things got back to normal, and she came back happier, we were officially dating, and she started becoming more social-able, even joined a club and made friends. I didn't do much for V-day, we just went out on the town, and watched a movie at her place, no sex of course, but, i was nice being with her. Spring Break came and rebecca offered for us to go up to her Uncles beach house for the week, her boyfriend was coming down from New York it would be fun. Spring Break was a blast, beccas boyfriend was a nice fellow, and it was just a fun time. Emily was social-able and even went swimming. It was on the final day me and emily were alone, and with nothing to do. We were watching a movie, and then we started making out, things started getting heated, but, she stopped right when she was taking her shirt off, and said she couldn't do it.

She cried and said she was too weak, she wasn't pretty like Rebecca. I comforted her, but she didnt say anything and went to her room. Next morning she acted as though nothing happened. But was noticeably withdrawn.

Fast forward to School end, Emily and Rebecca get themselves an Apartment so Emily won't have to go live with her sister. Everything was fine, we could stay together over summer, since Rebecca makes a lot of money and is from a rich family. Around June is when everything came crashing down, Rebecca got a job offer in New York doing what she loves, and allowing her to be near her boyfriend. She breaks the news to us, and Emily takes it rather well. Rebecca said she wouldn't be leaving until the second week of june, but, would give Emily enough rent to last her till she can get a dorm, and once things are settled she would love to have Emily come stay with her. Despite Emilys jovial mood, it's obvious she's hurt and breaking down, all that hard work at getting her out of her shell, vanished.

We help her get packed up and say our goodbyes. Emily gives becca a long hug, and tears up and says she will miss her. becca smiles and says "As will I". After becca leaves, Emily just sorta shuts down. I go over to her place a couple days after Becca left, and after knocking on the door for a few minutes, she comes out dressed in her night clothes. She lets me in, and I comfort her, I begin talking, but, she's still tearful. She says this will be the first B-day (her b-day is at the end of June) Rebecca has missed since she got here. I tell her I'm here for her, and she just snaps, saying shes tired of always being treated like a baby and protected by everyone. Then begins to cry saying how she tries to act mature for me and tries to act normal, but, cant because shes just putting on a show to impress me because shes afraid I'll dump her cause shes too weak and not as pretty as someone like rebecca. I tell her, I think you're gorgeous, and I don't not love you for being the way you are, you are making progress. When i first met you were too shy to even talk to anyone, and now you've even joind a club and started talking to people other then rebecca, that's progress. She frowns and says will you still love me if see me naked? She gets up and removed her night clothes, stripping down stark naked. Upon her body are horrific scars, and marks.

She says in a upset voice, this is my body, and why I cover up. You and Rebecca are the only ones who have seen me these scars or heard my story. her real mom died during childbirth, and her father never hated her for that. her earliest memory was of her dad beating her for spilling his beer. When she was 8 her dad got married again. Her second was nice, but, was also beaten. Sometimes her dad would put her on the stove and turn the burners on giving her bad burns. He never sexually abused her, but, he took pictures of her naked. One day when she was 11 her father was arrested after a neighbor came to the door to ask if she could borrow some sugar. The person noticed her broken nose and the marks on her arms and called police. Emilies dad was arrested, and things went to normal, they moved away, but, 2 years later her dad got out on good behavior and tracked them down. She came home from school and he was in the living room, Emily's mom told her to run to a neighbor but, her dad was faster and grabbed her and dragged her in. She watched as he got his butcher knife and cut her moms throat with it. Emily screamed and her dad came over and cut her belly with it down from the top of her breast to her thigh. Thats the last she remembers, next thing she knows shes in a hospital bed hooked up to a machine, with Police and doctors around her. her mom was dead, but, her father was killed after being pulled over by a cop for speeding. he pulled out a knife and was shot 3 times in the chest.

She went to a foster home, and was adopted when she was 16. Her current parents never liked her because she was so withdrawn, and were never there for her emotionally, they paid for her college just so they could be rid of her. She begins crying, and says she just wanted to be normal. I tell her she is normal, and that I think despite the scars she looks fine to me, she smiles and we kiss. I tell her I love everything on her specially her down belows, and how I have been waiting for this moment for awhile. We don't think, we just reacted she helped me take off my pants, and shirt, and we had sex. An awkward experience since we were both virgins, and she didn't say much afterwards.

She never recovered, she was always withdrawn afterwards and we rarely talked and to make matters worse she found she was pregnant. It came as a shocker, she confronted me after work and said "Youre a sick man. Why would you do that? You raped me. You took advantage of my feelings just so you could get into my pants. I hate you. I hate you. You've ruined my life, you and Rebecca". I try to go back to her place, but, she never answers. 3 days later, I go to her place and see ambulances there. I ask what's happening and they a girl hung herself on the stairwell. :-/

Rebecca comes down to the funeral, and we talk. She says she's not surprised, she had too deep seated issues and she hadn't been going to therapy. She said i didn't do anything wrong and I couldnt have known, it really was an accident waiting to happen.
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pro tip: If you enjoyed writing this you should join writing gaf. The challenges are great.
 
ronito said:
Pro-active tl;dr: Confessor makes up emo story with a shy delicate girl named Emily. They get involved though confessor is too cool to be truly interested in her. blah blah blah she finally gets naked and has all these scars from abuse and then confessors tells this abuse story which ends up with Emily's mother murdered and Emily left for dead. They end up having the sex. Emily freaks out claiming confessor raped her and took advantage of her. Unsurprisingly she ends up committing suicide cue "How could this happen to me?!" music.


pro tip: If you enjoyed writing this you should join writing gaf. The challenges are great.
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Lol. I skipped your summary so I wouldnt be spoiled but I see we came to the same conclusion.
 
ronito said:
Pro-active tl;dr: Confessor makes up emo story with a shy delicate girl named Emily. They get involved though confessor is too cool to be truly interested in her. blah blah blah she finally gets naked and has all these scars from abuse and then confessors tells this abuse story which ends up with Emily's mother murdered and Emily left for dead. They end up having the sex. Emily freaks out claiming confessor raped her and took advantage of her. Unsurprisingly she ends up committing suicide cue "How could this happen to me?!" music.


pro tip: If you enjoyed writing this you should join writing gaf. The challenges are great.
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Half the time I come in for the confessions. The other half is for your response. Good job, mate.
 
Featheredkitten said:
I feel like it throws too much into there. Like a kid telling a story, and then this horrible thing happened, and then this and then this! Too much.
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That's why I said to come to the writing challenges, if you're gonna make up a story, make up a good one. I mean Al Roker wasn't even in that. Not even a donkey!
 
ronito said:
That's why I said to come to the writing challenges, if you're gonna make up a story, make up a good one. I mean Al Roker wasn't even in that. Not even a donkey!
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Seriously. He could've at least started off right.

"She was the first thing I saw as I stepped into the tavern. Long brown hair, bright baby-blue eyes, and a headful of trouble.

I knocked back an ale and asked the barkeep for her name..."
 
ronito said:
Pro-active tl;dr: Confessor makes up emo story with a shy delicate girl named Emily.
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Outside of embellishments (the claims of rape, the dumb backstory with soap opera murders and pregnancy as well as and eventual suicide) and changing names and locations, this confession is pretty much a blow by blow recount of a character named Hanako in the visual novel "Katawa Shoujo". Anyone from Katawa-GAF or who has played her route could tell you the similarity is uncanny.

5881.jpg


So you had it right, Ronito, that confession was badly fabricated.
 
Jackben said:
Outside of embellishments (the claims of rape, the dumb backstory with soap opera murders and pregnancy as well as and eventual suicide) and changing names and locations, this confession is pretty much a blow by blow recount of a character named Hanako in the visual novel "Katawa Shoujo". Anyone from Katawa-GAF or who has played her route could tell you the similarity is uncanny.

5881.jpg


So you had it right, Ronito, that confession was badly fabricated.
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So it already had a pathetic feel to it, and this makes it even more so.
 
My college roommate brings a friend over to help her move in. I fall in love with said friend at first sight, but she has no idea. Time passes, some typical emo stuff goes on, but the funniest/most pitiful part comes when she messages me one day, a year after I graduated, and says "...Can I ask you something...? Really important...?" I say shoot. She says she's got this crush on a guy, and it's his birthday coming up, asks if I can help her write a song for him (note: I'm not a musician, but I am a "writer," still have no clue why she came to me, aside from a twisted sense of dramatic irony)

End result, I write a love song for my crush... for her to sing to her boyfriend - which worked, by the way.

I didn't talk to her again for two years. (Later, when I did confess, I got the "we can still be friends" response)
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akPMH.gif
 
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