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[ronito]

proactive tl;dr: Some dude that confessed about a crappy marriage finally got divorced and hooked up with some work chick. She goes on vacation, finds new dick.

OK so this is a followup! Back in June I wrote about my miserable marriage and how I was going to leave, and I did! So after a express-lane divorce and a small fortune, here I am single (it was totally worth it, anybody in doubt: just do it) A while back I had opened up to a co-worker about it, well right after I got divorced we were out one night and one thing led to another... and you know. We had unprotected sex a lot of times and we both knew she might get pregnant, ridiculously enough neither of us seemed to care. She's just hit 34 and she kept thinking it was going to be her last chance to have a healthy baby, a divorcee herself and always been very career-driven. I had always wanted kids of course but rationally looking at it, the whole situation was ridiculous - I'd known her for less than 6 months and we'd started our relation basically minutes before, but damn this woman. She's stunning, intelligent, went to a top university, won a bunch of awards in her field, the kind of person you dream about being with, basically. I couldn't (and still can't) think of anyone I'd rather have kids with.

Still, she wasn't perfect of course, she was clearly very spoilt her whole life and had a fairly big disconnect with people outside of her world, obsessive compulsive about many strange things so being at her apartment was like walking on eggshells, had strong views on everything and would steamroll her way through debates (one time we went to a restaurant and she said "you know what, we're ordering this" I just laughed and said ok, but damn) Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, god knows I'm not perfect but I just have to include these details so you get the full picture (and to remind myself). Anyway, the dice had been rolled but I guess it just wasn't to be, she didn't get pregnant. Even so, she kept telling me she loved me and she still wanted us to make a future together and though I tried to fight it I just got sucked right in, I was crazy about her. 3-4 weeks later when her period had been and gone we both getting a bit more grounded in reality. We started using condoms trying to start again as a normal couple, and then I had the painful experience of watching us drift apart.

She'd find it hard to sleep when I was there and started putting on weight from all the eating-out, and this would really get her down, which then started affecting her work. I would try and do what I could to help but we both knew, it was something she had to deal with and all I could do was be patient and pray for the best. She had arranged a family holiday previously and before she left we went out for coffee and she told me about her concerns. We talked it out and things seemed positive, we agreed to keep working at it. While she was away on holiday I got a message from her (it would have been about 4am her time) saying it wasn't going to work out. It was a 3-page rambling diatribe accusing me of taking advantage of her and all sorts of crazy things. I couldn't believe it - it was like it was written by a different person, I was completely gutted. I know it's easy to go "poor me, poor me" but I had literally just got divorced, I was basically a shambling sack of uncurtailed emotions when we got together. I was very malleable and she had a huge impact on me, she meant the world to me. I sent her a reply, I was just sad and confused and but never got a reply. I knew it was over of course but stubbornly held on to the faint hope that she'd change her mind for a week or two, but she just stopped communicating with me completely (except for awkward encounters at work) and I did the same, I was pretty mad about the whole situation.

A while later she broke the silence via text, and the ensuring exchange got pretty heated and we both said some pretty unpleasant things. Eventually she called me and we both agreed that things had got out of hand, we agreed to meet up and she would give me the stuff I'd left at her place. The meeting was very calm and civilized, we both just reflected sadly on the situation. I didn't really probe for hows and whys, it wouldn't have made a difference and I didn't want things to escalate. We had both agreed from the outset to keep it a secret from the other office people (the gossip about my divorce was already bad enough, I really didn't want it to get worse) and this would continue. We parted as friends but I'm sorry to say as soon as I'd gone into the station and out of site, I was crying like a baby.

So I'm back to square one. No girlfriend and no money but who knows the future will bring?

tl;dr - I got divorced and had a relationship with the hottest person in the office (it's a big office) - and nobody will ever know.

 

[ronito]

Yea, because using your boobs to sell things is a new concept. Please.

Perhaps not, but using 10 pound boobs to sell things might just be.

edit: I love saying 10 pound boobs. If I start a band, that is certainly up there in the list of name candidates.

 

[Noisy Ninj4]

10 pounds each? Good god.

Good thing you're here Ronito, sounds like she had a lot on her chest.

proactive tl;dr: Some dude that confessed about a crappy marriage finally got divorced and hooked up with some work chick. She goes on vacation, finds new dick.

Easy cum, easy go.

Real talk: That's what's commonly known as a "rebound" relationship. They're usually a bad idea. Stop seeing people romantically for a bit longer.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

10 pounds each? Good god.

My God, those must be massive. Her spine is gonna hate her in your golden years. The "using tits to close a sale" isn't a big deal. It's happened to me. The male brain finds it hard to resist.

Everyday for 3 years? Man I can't remember the last thing I gave that much dedication to.

Imagine putting that much effort into getting a girlfriend.

proactive tl;dr: Some dude that confessed about a crappy marriage finally got divorced and hooked up with some work chick. She goes on vacation, finds new dick.

The moment I got to the part about the rambling letter, I remembered this:

That's how I'll picture the dude from now on.

 

[Resilient]

I haven't read Doozy in a while , maybe I'll do a re-read. Still shocks me every time. Bahahaha.

 

[SMT]

My step-aunt got a breast 'reduction' but her tits are now bigger than what they were before.

 

[Cyan]

Good thing you're here Ronito, sounds like she had a lot on her chest.

I lol'd.

 

[Hot Coldman]

Perhaps not, but using 10 pound boobs to sell things might just be.

edit: I love saying 10 pound boobs. If I start a band, that is certainly up there in the list of name candidates.

"Hey, we're the Ten Pound Boobs, and we regret this naming decision"

 

[Noisy Ninj4]

I have to confess that every time I read that someone is a lurker, I immediately think of starcraft.

 

[Featheredkitten]

Perhaps not, but using 10 pound boobs to sell things might just be.

edit: I love saying 10 pound boobs. If I start a band, that is certainly up there in the list of name candidates.

maybe, but she got a breast reduction and still uses her boobs to sell things? Women buy low cut shirts for a reason, and we wear them for a reason. It's not a new thing, and with Doozy in this thread, i doubt there's any shock and awe.


Other than the ten pound boobs, 'cause that's pretty awe worthy.

 

[Jackben]

10 pounds each? Good god.

Gotta be an exaggeration or the person is morbidly obese. There's just no way they could weigh that much normally...is there?

Everyday I log onto gonewild sites and check and hope that someone I know will be on one of those. I don't know why but the idea of some woman I know in a situation like that really turns me on. Of course I've never seen anyone I know. I've done this every day for at least 3 years.

It's the fantasy that is driving you, trust me. The reality is depressing.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Gotta be an exaggeration or the person is morbidly obese. There's just no way they could weigh that much normally...is there?.

I dunno, freak of nature? The only normal person I can think of that comes close to that is Karina Hart, the porn star. I'd post a picture, but the mods would take me down. Google her.

Anyways, I dunno, what's her breast size? They're pretty big.

I guess the person can be morbidly obese, but then... does showing your tits really help sales if you are?

 

[FeedMeAStrayCat]

Good thing you're here Ronito, sounds like she had a lot on her chest.

Easy cum, easy go.

Real talk: That's what's commonly known as a "rebound" relationship. They're usually a bad idea. Stop seeing people romantically for a bit longer.

Fuck right. I'm in the midst of getting a divorce at the moment, and I can safely say there will be no relationships for this dude for a long time. Fuck no

 

[Noisy Ninj4]

Gotta be an exaggeration or the person is morbidly obese. There's just no way they could weigh that much normally...is there?

I've seen small women with large, natural breasts. The phenomenon is rare, but it's real. Gravity takes its toll in more ways than one, of course.

Eg. My current girlfriend has breasts large enough to suffocate in. She has a large frame (wide hips, tallish) but isn't really obese.

 

[coldvein]

single boobs generally dont weight ten pounds. even five would be fucking massive. i think 1-2 is normal

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

single boobs generally dont weight ten pounds. even five would be fucking massive. i think 1-2 is normal

Those most be the WMDs of boobs.

 

[coldvein]

for some reason i find the idea of boobs on a scale kind of erotic.

 

[B-Dubs]

for some reason i find the idea of boobs on a scale kind of erotic.

Honestly I have no idea what boobs that big would even look like, but I'm sure they're amazing.

 

[ronito]

Gotta be an exaggeration or the person is morbidly obese. There's just no way they could weigthat h much normally...is there?.

I once met a black lady who's confession to me was that her boobs were 14 lbs before reduction. She showed me pics. She looked like boobs with a head.

 

[Noisy Ninj4]

single boobs generally dont weight ten pounds. even five would be fucking massive. i think 1-2 is normal

Going by rough density, a 10 pound boob would be about 4 liters in size.

That's in the 1% category (without augmentation), but not outside the realm of possibility.

 

[Trike]

Everyday for 3 years? Man I can't remember the last thing I gave that much dedication to....besides my WIFE!

Wow, you are truly dedicated to your wife. Even more than that man who wishes to see his local grocer gone wild. If I were your wife I would blow you so hard(but sensually) right now. Unfortunately I am not, and someone else must take up this duty.

 

[Vermillion]

maybe, but she got a breast reduction and still uses her boobs to sell things? Women buy low cut shirts for a reason, and we wear them for a reason. It's not a new thing, and with Doozy in this thread, i doubt there's any shock and awe.


Other than the ten pound boobs, 'cause that's pretty awe worthy.

I could swear other GAFfers had other reasons why women wear those shirts. Post saved.

 

[ronito]

Edit your post to say "besides my wife" and then I will edit mine. I assume this will get you sexual relations, and I in turn will get a picture of me with $20.

You sir, are a scholar and a gentleman

 

[DrEvil]

I have a confession to make.

Every time I see ronito post in another thread, I feel vindicated for posting in that thread too.. he's my #1 favourite gaffer.

Spoiler

I'm not stalking him, I swear.

 

[Perspicacity]

I've seen small women with large, natural breasts. The phenomenon is rare, but it's real. Gravity takes its toll in more ways than one, of course.

Eg. My current girlfriend has breasts large enough to suffocate in. She has a large frame (wide hips, tallish) but isn't really obese.

Yeah, sometimes it just happens. I dated a girl a couple times this month with natural G cups. She had a pretty average build and was fairly short (5'6 I believe), she's getting a reduction when she turns 21.

I should really give her a call...

 

[Trike]

You sir, are a scholar and a gentleman

Why thank you Ronito. I must confess that I think of you in the same way.

 

[Jackben]

Wow, you are truly dedicated to your wife. Even more than that man who wishes to see his local grocer gone wild. If I were your wife I would blow you so hard(but sensually) right now. Unfortunately I am not, and someone else must take up this duty.

GAF-Laugh of the Week nominee:

Trike.

 

[NewFresh]

I'm concerned with the retconning going on in here....

 

[Cyan]

I'm concerned with the retconning going on in modern comics....

I agree.

 

[grumble]

maybe, but she got a breast reduction and still uses her boobs to sell things? Women buy low cut shirts for a reason, and we wear them for a reason. It's not a new thing, and with Doozy in this thread, i doubt there's any shock and awe.


Other than the ten pound boobs, 'cause that's pretty awe worthy.

There have been several threads on this forum where men accuse women of wearing low cut shirts to draw attention to their boobs, and they inevitably get torn apart as sexists. Interesting to see someone on the other side agreeing with them.

 

[Featheredkitten]

I could swear other GAFfers had other reasons why women wear those shirts. Post saved.

There have been several threads on this forum where men accuse women of wearing low cut shirts to draw attention to their boobs, and they inevitably get torn apart as sexists. Interesting to see someone on the other side agreeing with them.

woah, wait, don't go quoting me later to prove...whatever...this is after all, my own opinion. Sometimes i do just wear to a low cut shirt to wear a low cut shirt. But sometimes it's 'cause boobs are awesome, and i have awesome boobs.

 

[viciouskillersquirrel]

Besides, attempting to downplay a feature tends to have the opposite effect. Normally proportioned women's boobs look huge when wearing turtle necks, for instance.

 

[ronitoswife]

Everyday for 3 years? Man I can't remember the last thing I gave that much dedication to....besides my WIFE!

Wow, you are truly dedicated to your wife. Even more than that man who wishes to see his local grocer gone wild. If I were your wife I would blow you so hard(but sensually) right now. Unfortunately I am not, and someone else must take up this duty.

You sir, are a scholar and a gentleman

I see what you did here!

Clever, very clever!

 

[Noisy Ninj4]

Besides, attempting to downplay a feature tends to have the opposite effect. Normally proportioned women's boobs look huge when wearing turtle necks, for instance.

Turtlenecks are usually somewhat form fitting, though. Wearing a catsuit covers your body, but you're still showing everything off.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

There have been several threads on this forum where men accuse women of wearing low cut shirts to draw attention to their boobs, and they inevitably get torn apart as sexists. Interesting to see someone on the other side agreeing with them.

Well, I mean why wear low-cut shirts if you don't wanna show off your boobs? Isn't that pretty much the point?

Nah, I totally dig low cut shirts. I'm not a creep for like admiring, right? Admiring with class. Not pervy at all.

 

[Featheredkitten]

Nah, I totally dig low cut shirts. I'm not a creep for like admiring, right? Admiring with class. Not pervy at all.

Depends on the perviness, we just don't want to be treated like objects....unless i guess, you're a chick with ten pound tits trying to close a sale. ha! we've gone full circle.

 

[AlexMogil]

woah, wait, don't go quoting me later to prove...whatever...this is after all, my own opinion. Sometimes i do just wear to a low cut shirt to wear a low cut shirt. But sometimes it's 'cause boobs are awesome, and i have awesome boobs.

10 pounders, though?

 

[B-Dubs]

woah, wait, don't go quoting me later to prove...whatever...this is after all, my own opinion. Sometimes i do just wear to a low cut shirt to wear a low cut shirt. But sometimes it's 'cause boobs are awesome, and i have awesome boobs.

Ain't nothing wrong with that.

 

[ronito]

I think I am probably the definition of failing at life. Or, rather, failing at having a life. I have a solid job, I work from home, I've got a 3 bedroom apartment in a nice part of town all to myself, and no real bills outside of utilities and such. I can pretty much buy whatever I want.

And yet, I have no friends nor a significant other (and I've never maintained a relationship for more than 8 months). I seem incapable of making any kind of friends and I haven't had anyone to hang out with in a couple of years now. This has caused me to be withdrawn and I seem to have become a recluse in where I can go weeks or months without even going outdoors since I have no reason to go anywhere thanks to modern day shipping/delivery services.

It really makes me reflect back on myself at times - What am I doing wrong? Why do I like the things I like? Why am I so boring? I seem to rarely have anything of significance to add to a conversation and when I do talk I tend to be ignored, so I think at some point I just gave up.

I pay $70 a month for a cell phone and nobody calls or texts me, nor do I have anyone to call or text. I once invited people over for my birthday and nobody showed up, so I ended up drinking myself into a stupor and passing out on the floor.

It seems like I should have a fantastic life based on my money situation, and yet I am simply lonely. I don't know how to break out of this cage I've locked myself in and I'm prone to fits of depression. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

Man, that line about paying $70 a month for a phone which no one calls was heartbreaking. I mean you could've included your cell and I would've called you. My one chance to make a $70 phone call. I'll never get that chance again Heartbreaking man.

But seriously if you have some moola go to a therapist .

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Post your number on GAF. People will call.

 

[SickBoy]

Man, that line about paying $70 a month for a phone which no one calls was heartbreaking. I mean you could've included your cell and I would've called you. My one chance to make a $70 phone call. I'll never get that chance again Heartbreaking man.

But seriously if you have some moola go to a therapist .

Also, find some sort of group you share an interest with. If you're in a reasonable sized city there's probably some sort of local club/association/etc. dedicated to something you like. Get involved, if only to be around other people and if you find yourself withdrawn when those people reach out to interact with you, then yeah, see a therapist if you don't do it before.

But dammit, get out of your apartment. Make a point of it.

BTW, happy to see the thread still going.

 

[coldvein]

lonely guy with two extra bedrooms, where do you live, i'll move in, i'll be your friend, i'll make you sandwiches, as long as rent is free

 

[ronito]

Dear Ronito:
I've heard from some of my friends that some girls are into rape fantasies and I've never understood it. I don't even like porn where one person is dominant. I find it disgusting and it totally turns me off. Today I was looking at some porn and came across a video where one woman forced another woman to have sex with her and I haven't been that turned on in months. I'm so confused.

Confused in California

Confused in California,
There's a difference between fantasy and reality. Porn is about fantasy. So long as you can make that distinction and control that you should be ok.
Love,
Ronito

 

[Trike]

I see what you did here!

Clever, very clever!

Did it work?!

I think I am probably the definition of failing at life. Or, rather, failing at having a life. I have a solid job, I work from home, I've got a 3 bedroom apartment in a nice part of town all to myself, and no real bills outside of utilities and such. I can pretty much buy whatever I want.

And yet, I have no friends nor a significant other (and I've never maintained a relationship for more than 8 months). I seem incapable of making any kind of friends and I haven't had anyone to hang out with in a couple of years now. This has caused me to be withdrawn and I seem to have become a recluse in where I can go weeks or months without even going outdoors since I have no reason to go anywhere thanks to modern day shipping/delivery services.

It really makes me reflect back on myself at times - What am I doing wrong? Why do I like the things I like? Why am I so boring? I seem to rarely have anything of significance to add to a conversation and when I do talk I tend to be ignored, so I think at some point I just gave up.

I pay $70 a month for a cell phone and nobody calls or texts me, nor do I have anyone to call or text. I once invited people over for my birthday and nobody showed up, so I ended up drinking myself into a stupor and passing out on the floor.

It seems like I should have a fantastic life based on my money situation, and yet I am simply lonely. I don't know how to break out of this cage I've locked myself in and I'm prone to fits of depression. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

I've been in a somewhat less extreme version of what you are going through. Except I am not successful and so I had to sell my birthday. As a result I am still 16 years old and looking for strange at the local highschools. It is hard to make new friends in adulthood, especially if you don't really connect with many people at work. Find a hobby that you enjoy and go out to places that have/sell those things and meet new people. Or go to a bar or something? Or even look for friends through the internet. It sounds weird, but a lot of times people with similar interests are hard to find just out in the street.

But I also want to know how much of the money/time was spent on porn/fleshlights/prostitutes. If the answer is less than $10 then you are not even trying.

 

[mre]

I cannot wait for ronitosmistress to register on GAF. Imagine the drama!

 

[viciouskillersquirrel]

I cannot wait for ronitosmistress to register on GAF. Imagine the drama!

Cyan alt account confirmed!

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Besides, attempting to downplay a feature tends to have the opposite effect. Normally proportioned women's boobs look huge when wearing turtle necks, for instance.

Nicholsonnod.gif

 

[Noisy Ninj4]

Man, that line about paying $70 a month for a phone which no one calls was heartbreaking. I mean you could've included your cell and I would've called you. My one chance to make a $70 phone call. I'll never get that chance again Heartbreaking man.

But seriously if you have some moola go to a therapist .

There are assorted organizations that help single people get together and do fun stuff. Give it a shot?

If not, you could always get involved with local political groups or volunteer organizations. You WILL meet and have to work with people. It'll force you out of your comfort zone and maybe give you the push you need to get out more and meet other people.

 

[ronito]

Did it work?!

I travel home tonight. I'll let you know.

Cyan alt account confirmed!

The purple drazi and I make no secrets of a manly manlove.

 

[Noisy Ninj4]

Ronito, when I see your name, I always think of Hornito.

Brand name of both a Tequila and Tacitos .