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GAF-Hop |OTXVI| Build a Wall (of Better Top 20 Albums)

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smooth as fuck

I got a check from my school for $400 (FAFSA? I don't fucking know lol). Graduating next week, spent $200 on some shoes as a gift to myself. The fuck am I doing.
You know you need to pay that money back if its a FAFSA refund, right? It's part of your original loan they give you, so that's just $400 more debt you have.

Probably talk to your bursar about it.
 
You know you need to pay that money back if its a FAFSA refund, right? It's part of your original loan they give you, so that's just $400 more debt you have.

Probably talk to your bursar about it.

Oh nah, I've never gotten a FAFSA loan or grant. I've gotten some of these before. I just paid more than I should have (full tuition) a few months ago and then I received my aid, so I'm being refunded $400 of my own money. Fuck debt.

Also, fuck savings.
 
Oh nah, I've never gotten a FAFSA loan or grant. I've gotten some of these before. I just paid more than I should have (full tuition) a few months ago and then I received my aid, so I'm being refunded $400 of my own money. Fuck debt.
Oh that's pretty good. As long as you're being financially responsib-
Also, fuck savings.
Not entirely sure that's the best attitude to have.
 

FZZ

Banned
Yeah loans suck but you need them for universities unless youre very rich or got scholarships up the ass

gonna graduate with 27k debt :/

sad part is, im on the lower end of the spectrum here in cali
 
Yeah loans suck but you need them for universities unless youre very rich or got scholarships up the ass

gonna graduate with 27k debt :/

sad part is, im on the lower end of the spectrum here in cali
I'm fortunate enough to have parents who've been working in the Bay for ages, and planned properly for my college education, but yeah, going to the third most expensive college in the fucking country for my education was a poor choice.
 

Bronx-Man

Banned
I ain't dealing with a single cent of debt when i'm outta college. Already better off than half the youth in this country, god bless.
 

FZZ

Banned
I'm fortunate enough to have parents who've been working in the Bay for ages, and planned properly for my college education, but yeah, going to the third most expensive college in the fucking country for my education was a poor choice.

idk what youre trying to say

but im from an immigrant family breh, working class here in socal, family of 6. Thankful enough to live in one of the best suburbs in the country and love all the opportunities they got for me

27k isn't too bad, I know I'll get it paid off
 
idk what youre trying to say

but im from an immigrant family breh, working class here in socal, family of 6. Thankful enough to live in one of the best suburbs in the country and love all the opportunities they got for me

27k isn't too bad, I know I'll get it paid off
Oh, not like that. I didn't mean anything by it, just something my parents keep telling me.

Its not a subliminal shot or anything, I'm just commiserating. I honestly feel like garbage for foisting this huge burden on my parents. I just feel lost at times, in college, which really just aggravates that first part. I don't really know if I picked the right major or whether or not I have the drive to really succeed in the field I'm in. Music is one of the few things that I actually know I love & enjoy, and it distracts from the fact that I feel like a huge fuckup.
 
I feel you Torre. I settled with a major in political science. I love politics and have a genuine interest in the subject matter, but the job market for this degree is...yeah. Like I said earlier, I'm graduating next week and my parents feel proud of me. I almost got held back in 8th grade and had to retake multiple classes, some multiple times in high school. My sister did sports, extra curriculars, and even made honors. Somehow, she dropped out of college with only one class to go. And my mother got on her ass for it. The past 2 years have been high pressure because I felt like I couldn't disappoint my parents.

So here I am, they're happy, and yet I feel fucking miserable because somehow I still have no idea what I want to do with my life and I'm afraid that all this effort and money of theirs would have been for nothing. And the only thing I feel genuinely passionate about is music and...well you know how that conversation would go.

I'm graduating debt free, in a part of town where nobody has a college education, am an example of the American dream being real (my mom is an immigrant with a 3rd grade education level)...and yet I'm still ungrateful. And unhappy.

And that's why I bought those stupid fucking shoes. Fuck.
 

Moonkid

Member
Don't beat yourself up over it too much Spine, can't force yourself to feel what you think you should be feeling. At least take in these moments and let yourself be a little proud that you've made it this far.
 
Don't beat yourself up over it too much Spine, can't force yourself to feel what you think you should be feeling. At least take in these moments and let yourself be a little proud that you've made it this far.

That's true. I'm actually planning on spending this summer exercising like crazy. I'm secretly hoping for some euphoric moment to hit me and then i realize what I want in this life. Hopefully 2 Live Crew is involved in some way. But seriously, thanks.
 

FZZ

Banned
Oh, not like that. I didn't mean anything by it, just something my parents keep telling me.

Its not a subliminal shot or anything, I'm just commiserating. I honestly feel like garbage for foisting this huge burden on my parents. I just feel lost at times, in college, which really just aggravates that first part. I don't really know if I picked the right major or whether or not I have the drive to really succeed in the field I'm in. Music is one of the few things that I actually know I love & enjoy, and it distracts from the fact that I feel like a huge fuckup.

I definitely feel you on that

But what I can say is following your passion is going to fulfill you more than anything, like for real the amount of happiness I see in people when they've followed what they've always wanted to is insane. As long as you're driven you will find success in your field. I know it sounds fucking cheesy but its true. Make as many connections as you can, enjoy what you do, and most importantly just put in effort.

I'm graduating in 2 months and I still feel lost, went from neuroscience to business finance. And graduating right now after four years I don't even like my major that much, finance is interesting for sure but I wish I just followed what I knew since I was a kid and went along as a math major. Idk I have regrets but I know I'm only 21 and have so much more I can do. I just hope I don't get stuck in work life and don't pursue my masters, I really really want to get my masters in mathematics.

And at the end of all of this with a bachelors in finance, masters in math, and hopefully a technical comp sci degree from a CC in the next two years. I wanna somehow get a full time job in the gaming industry, LMAO

School is great fam

but fuck school
 

Moonkid

Member
That's true. I'm actually planning on spending this summer exercising like crazy. I'm secretly hoping for some euphoric moment to hit me and then i realize what I want in this life. Hopefully 2 Live Crew is involved in some way. But seriously, thanks.
You're very welcome, just uh be there for me when I graduate down the line and face similar dilemmas LOL. And exercising is awesome, getting into shape whether you're doing cardio or weights is a great feeling. If a euphoric moment does hit you all I can suggest is you make a plan to make it a reality, small things every day type of thing.
 

Bronx-Man

Banned
I feel you Torre. I settled with a major in political science. I love politics and have a genuine interest in the subject matter, but the job market for this degree is...yeah. Like I said earlier, I'm graduating next week and my parents feel proud of me. I almost got held back in 8th grade and had to retake multiple classes, some multiple times in high school. My sister did sports, extra curriculars, and even made honors. Somehow, she dropped out of college with only one class to go. And my mother got on her ass for it. The past 2 years have been high pressure because I felt like I couldn't disappoint my parents.

So here I am, they're happy, and yet I feel fucking miserable because somehow I still have no idea what I want to do with my life and I'm afraid that all this effort and money of theirs would have been for nothing. And the only thing I feel genuinely passionate about is music and...well you know how that conversation would go.

I'm graduating debt free, in a part of town where nobody has a college education, am an example of the American dream being real (my mom is an immigrant with a 3rd grade education level)...and yet I'm still ungrateful. And unhappy.

And that's why I bought those stupid fucking shoes. Fuck.
Are you me? Cause this is my life right now.
 
I'm graduating in 2 months and I still feel lost, went from neuroscience to business finance. And graduating right now after four years I don't even like my major that much, finance is interesting for sure but I wish I just followed what I knew since I was a kid and went along as a math major. Idk I have regrets but I know I'm only 21 and have so much more I can do. I just hope I don't get stuck in work life and don't pursue my masters, I really really want to get my masters in mathematics.
Speaking as a math major or at least half of one, I used to think I loved math. I was a Kumon kid, and I loved solving math problems and logic puzzles and the like. Now, there are moments where I do, when that problem just clicks and everything makes sense, it's amazing, but the other 90% of the time, it feels like you're just lost, trying to survive while all this abstract shit is thrown at you. A friend told me, "Unless you enjoy proofs, you're not going to like majoring in math." And I completely understand now. Math's one of those subjects which needs a great lecturer for it to sink in, but a majority of higher level math classes are taught by professors that are more researchers than lecturers, so it gets harder and harder.
 

FZZ

Banned
Speaking as a math major or at least half of one, I used to think I loved math. I was a Kumon kid, and I loved solving math problems and logic puzzles and the like. Now, there are moments where I do, when that problem just clicks and everything makes sense, it's amazing, but the other 90% of the time, it feels like you're just lost, trying to survive while all this abstract shit is thrown at you. A friend told me, "Unless you enjoy proofs, you're not going to like majoring in math." And I completely understand now. Math's one of those subjects which needs a great lecturer for it to sink in, but a majority of higher level math classes are taught by professors that are more researchers than lecturers, so it gets harder and harder.

I can definitely see this

I was always reliant on my professors/teachers to truly enjoy the subject, or rather it took a good teacher to kind of teach me some fundamentals for me to grasp the concepts and then take a hold of it

never went past differential equations and multivariable tho because unit limits they had in place before I became a business major, so idk how I would have enjoyed theoretical/more conceptual math
 
Passion fruit
You're right about the following your passion bit. Honestly, despite my parents being financially successful, they both seem fucking miserable but they were so poor growing up, that they're kind of oblivious to how unhappy they are. Follow a passion would be my advice as well.

And I'm not gonna lie, this morning I saw a tweet from cheap ass gamer for those blue yeti mics AND an El Gato capture device, and I almost spent those $400 on that shit. I looked up Patreon and saw that Jim Sterling gets like $70K per month. BIG BALLA MONEY HOMIE. Then I closed the tabs and said fuck that when I realized how many people are trying that lol.

You're very welcome, just uh be there for me when I graduate down the line and face similar dilemmas LOL. And exercising is awesome, getting into shape whether you're doing cardio or weights is a great feeling. If a euphoric moment does hit you all I can suggest is you make a plan to make it a reality, small things every day type of thing.
One day at a time is my philosophy...for the most part lol.

Are you me? Cause this is my life right now.

You graduating too? Deets.
 
Well not right now, but yeah everything else about being a poli sci major going debt free unsure about what the fuck to do with life.

Well depending on how much time you have, for the love of god go to your career center. I went to a job fair hosted by my school two months ago. It would surprise you what you actually could do with the degree. Several of the company reps I met, I asked them that specific question: can I get this position with my degree? Every single one of them said yes. Managerial positions, project management, data analysis for government agencies like the FBI (literally just case studies), human resources, did I mention management?

I couldn't really get much offers my way because I didn't do internships and have little work experience. Add in the usual "i have no network" and I was kinda stumped. But if you still have time, join a club. If there isn't a political science club at your school, start one. That would look amazing. Even if you don't know what you want to do now, when you finally do know, you'll look so much better with all the boxes checked off. So get some internships, go to every school event you possibly can to network, join a club. I found all this shit out way too late, but even then there's still options I'm sure I haven't thought of yet.

Edit: forgot to mention, I went to a mixer and met a FBI rep with an introduction from a mutual friend. Shit like that was something I never saw happening to me. So we start talking.

"Have you done any internships?"
"No, I was hoping I could find out if the agency was offering any for graduating students/recent grads?"
"Well your best shot is going to D.C. or Los Angeles."
"Is there an institution that has a program?"
"Well most of the agency is in the two cities."
"..."
"..."

My advice was to move to LA and pray for a job lol
 

CoolOff

Member
Man, I really don't envy you Americans. I also have roughly 30k in loans, but my interest rate is 0.34% and I'm paying it back over 25 years.

Yay socialism!

Graduated six weeks ago from one of the best business schools in Europe, and lucked out into a job as a consultant in marketing that is ideal for me. Honestly though FZZ, with a combined Finance/Math degree you really shouldn't have any trouble finding a decent gig. I guess the US market for such roles might vary a lot between states though.
 
I had grants and loans for me first year of college, I took out the loans because I would be able to pay it back with my grant money had I not used it all and would be able to end the year with 2 or 3,000 dollars extra for me at no cost.

I was right in that I'd be able to do that, and I could have paid my loans of and had more money that I didn't work for, but I ended up having an existential crisis and suicidal thoughts that when mixed with my fear of math.

I've constantly failed math since the 6th grade and been poor at it since the 5th, ended up in resource, only passed Algebra 1 sophomore year with a D because I was allowed to use books and get help on tests, failed geometry, and literally only graduated high school because I was allowed to take a business class to make up for my math credits.

This lead to me dropping out of the second semester (I was in pre-algebra or algebra one, forgot which, and saw a tutor 4 days a week and still failed the first semester and didn't do well the second, which destroyed me)and blowing my money on stress eating (I'm really skinny, I just ate a lot of McDonalds during that period and other wasteful food: and nonsense because I was planning to die, and even more nonsense after I left my home and my first job (I was a hotel houseman at a nice hotel and only worked there for a month, but I was on track to get promoted) on a random whim without the three weeks notice and got a random ticket to Atlanta that I never used and ended up renting a place in a random city for like a month before ending up homeless and wasting more of my money while homeless, only to realize that I didn't actually wanna die and went to go get mental health help (I was trying to run away from my issues and thought that a scenario change was what I needed rather than a change in me, was on like a manic high the day I left).

And now I'm 5,000 in debt with no plan to ever attempt going to school again (because of fear of math/no desire to attempt that again and lack of faith in my ability to do it, and the fact that I have no actual goals in life so I don't want to spend more money to pass all of my classes except for math and then go into more debt and eventually just have to start all over again because of the limitations at the schools or whatever, doesn't matter how well I do in everything else if I can't do well in that).

So now I'm out just looking for work since I just left my last job of 5 months and moved back to Cali, as well as looking for volunteer work, which I can the hopefully use to get into Americorps, while 5,000 in debt when I could have paid it off and had 2,000 extra on multiple occasions but chose not to as a purposeful and conscious/intended attempt to destroy my life (I had a delusion that by forcing myself into some sort of corner I could drive some feeling out of me/get out of my depressive mindstate, the hollowness was killing me and lead to many drastic decisions to try and restore myself to my old self/restore my emotions/make me social again etc etc).

Heed my cautionary tale and take care of your financials and mental health.
 
Woah I wrote a lot more than I expected, should have saved that for the mental health thread.
I hope things work out for you.
Thank you, i'm in a good living situation currently.
I just have to take my other issues a day at a time and have realistic expectations unlike what I was doing before.

Edit: But yah, take care of your mental health before it gets out of control
 

Dereck

Member
Logic's latest album, Everybody, had 20 minutes and 21 seconds of Skits, which is roughly 29% of the album

8tzuM27.png
 

OG Kush

Member
Internships are the most important thing at Uni. Wish I knew that back then, but I guess I wouldn't be the person I am now and know the things I do if I didn't make the mistakes I made.
 
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