Gay and Bisexual Coming-out thread |OT|

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MaximumX2 said:
I randomly ran into my sister last night at my job (the one who sent me the message telling me she disowned me for being bisexual). She was civil, and asked for my number. I told her to get it from our mom lol. My mom was telling her that she needs to accept it, and my mom told me her response was "I know, it's just so hard." I really don't understand why it's so hard for her to accept my sexuality. I never talk about it. The only time I threw it in her face was when I posted pics of same-sex couples making out on facebook when she randomly went off on me about it. I did it to be facetious. It's going to be even harder for her to accept me now when she finds out I have a boyfriend. :lol
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Just by the fact that she said "I know, it's just so hard" seems like a huge step for her. I actually remember all about your sister and her antics, but all of it shows that she really cares at least. Her realizing that acceptance is the proper path seems like a positive. It'll probably take her a REALLY long time. I have no idea how she might react to the boyfriend though. Maybe if she sees that it's just two guys who really like each other, she'll realize it's not all perverts and sex fiends.
 
_Isaac said:
Just by the fact that she said "I know, it's just so hard" seems like a huge step for her. I actually remember all about your sister and her antics, but all of it shows that she really cares at least. Her realizing that acceptance is the proper path seems like a positive. It'll probably take her a REALLY long time. I have no idea how she might react to the boyfriend though. Maybe if she sees that it's just two guys who really like each other, she'll realize it's not all perverts and sex fiends.
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Eugh. It's like, bitch, get over it. Love how MaximumX2 is the one who has to deal with all the bullshit with coming out, dealing with who you are, etc - and she's acting like it's about her.
 
For her, this really is a huge step... but I'm honestly done waiting for people to be okay with it. I'm no longer that scared person who is like "hey guyz I'm bisexual, please please please don't disown me." I developed a "fuck you" attitude. If they aren't okay with my sexuality, tough. That attitude has helped me feel better about my own sexual orientation, because it's hard to fully come to terms with yourself when others can't and think of you as a pervert. I've told nearly all of my friends, and as for distant relatives (cousins, etc.) I'm fairly open about it on facebook (as those of you who added me can see). I've came out of the closet and I'm not going back in. If I do start talking to my sister again, I will leave the minute I hear anything homophobic. I'm tired of waiting for people to accept me.
 
About a year ago or two, my friend's sister outed him to his parents with text messages he had sent to his boyfriend. Needless to say, the reaction was pretty rough.

His mom was the first to come to terms with it but it's been uneasy with his dad whenever the subject is even mentioned. Recently however, his dad admitted to finally accepting "being okay with it." Meanwhile, his older sister HAS to make it known that she's not and that can "[they] please stop talking about it" in front of her. :lol
 
MaximumX2 said:
For her, this really is a huge step... but I'm honestly done waiting for people to be okay with it. I'm no longer that scared person who is like "hey guyz I'm bisexual, please please please don't disown me." I developed a "fuck you" attitude. If they aren't okay with my sexuality, tough. That attitude has helped me feel better about my own sexual orientation, because it's hard to fully come to terms with yourself when others can't and think of you as a pervert. I've told nearly all of my friends, and as for distant relatives (cousins, etc.) I'm fairly open about it on facebook (as those of you who added me can see). I've came out of the closet and I'm not going back in. If I do start talking to my sister again, I will leave the minute I hear anything homophobic. I'm tired of waiting for people to accept me.
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This is exactly what empowered me to come out and the shield I think that would help most closeted LGBTs when they are ready. It's they that have the (potential) problems, not you.

Live your life! <3
 
Sai-kun said:
You have no fucking idea. Why do you even post stuff like this?
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I think he just meant that this shouldn't be a "huge" step for her. It shouldn't even be anything for her. She's not the one that deals with all the crap people like her give others thinking it's their duty to save them from hell. When are they going to realize they are creating hell on earth for other people?
 
Botolf said:
As a (mostly) closeted Christian apostate, your stories give me a lot of hope Maximum. Keep up the good work! :D
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I will, sir! :D

By the by, I haven't been following this thread until lately, what's the status on your coming out process Botolf? I know you've told two of your sisters. Any progress since then? Have they treated you differently at all?
 
MaximumX2 said:
I will, sir! :D

By the by, I haven't been following this thread until lately, what's the status on your coming out process Botolf? I know you've told two of your sisters. Any progress since then? Have they treated you differently at all?
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All of my sisters know now (three of them), so it's a slim majority of my immediate family. My parents still don't know, and my sisters ask every now and then when I'm going to tell them. So they seem to have taken it in stride :lol
 
Botolf said:
All of my sisters know now (three of them), so it's a slim majority of my immediate family. My parents still don't know, and my sisters ask every now and then when I'm going to tell them. So they seem to have taken it in stride :lol
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Wow that's awesome! I'm proud of you! :D
 
Botolf said:
All of my sisters know now (three of them), so it's a slim majority of my immediate family. My parents still don't know, and my sisters ask every now and then when I'm going to tell them. So they seem to have taken it in stride :lol
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Toldja it'd be okay. I think I remember telling you that.
 
MaximumX2 said:
Wow that's awesome! I'm proud of you! :D
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Yeah, blew my expectations away. Expecting the worst seems to be my general response in most alien situations, heh.

_Isaac said:
Toldja it'd be okay. I think I remember telling you that.
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I recall something to that effect. Heh, the vast majority of Gaygaf told me it'd be alright. I was a little reluctant to listen :D
 
66n3N.jpg
 
I have 2 good friends, whom I feel really bad for. I turn to Gay GAF for advice. I am trying to set them up or something because i want them to be happy. They confide in me all the time that theyre lonely and they wish there was someone out there for them.

One guy is a... obese asian guy. His personality is a little loud and I've heard rumors about him having stereotypical asian shortfalls. Down there. If anyone knows what I'm talking about. Also, from time to time he smells. And even worse he only had sex twice, according to him, and theres already stuff floating around about him. Also, hes teased alot for being a lush over everyone, and apparently gave fellatio to someone else at a party, in the main room, at 10PM. He has pretty low self esteem, but hes a great guy as a friend.

the other guy is a ultra-stereotypical Nintendo nerd. He's not bad looking per se, but he's REALLLY picky. Like, he doesnt like anyone. Hes really, really dorky, and there's not a lot physically wrong with him except he dresses kind of badly and always wears a scruffy look that does not match what he SHOULD look like, and he's comfortable and does not want to change.

Its sad hearing them talk about it on facebook, and when they personally confide about their loneliness to me. Is there something I can do for them? I feel so bad because I want them to be happy but they both tell me that there's something thats such a huge part of them missing. I care about them alot and I want them to be happy. I've worked out with them, did a "makeover", etc but the outside may change but the inside never does. They always revert to how they were previously, or stick with that ideal of who their mate should be. So Gay-GAF, do they have hope?
\
It seems like the gay dating world is very hung up on looks or doesnt really fit for the more introverted person. Being introverted, or fat, or having crooked teeth, or being too gay, etc. etc. etc. really put a nail in your dateability coffin. I just wish I could do more for my friends.
 
Think I've begun to cement metaphorical "black sheep" status in my family. I just talked with my dad for over 4 hours about evolution, and I took the affirmative/for stance. I think I did pretty well, I didn't break eye contact often and made some strong points. He enjoyed the talk, though my mum was worried we were mad at each other :lol. I'm mildly worried about my admission that I didn't believe creation, for a second he looked deeply wounded. He obliquely mentioned finding things for me to read. Hmm, will see where that goes.

At any rate, a step toward "the big fact".
 
The Abominable Snowman said:
I have 2 good friends, whom I feel really bad for. I turn to Gay GAF for advice. I am trying to set them up or something because i want them to be happy. They confide in me all the time that theyre lonely and they wish there was someone out there for them.

One guy is a... obese asian guy. His personality is a little loud and I've heard rumors about him having stereotypical asian shortfalls. Down there. If anyone knows what I'm talking about. Also, from time to time he smells. And even worse he only had sex twice, according to him, and theres already stuff floating around about him. Also, hes teased alot for being a lush over everyone, and apparently gave fellatio to someone else at a party, in the main room, at 10PM. He has pretty low self esteem, but hes a great guy as a friend.

the other guy is a ultra-stereotypical Nintendo nerd. He's not bad looking per se, but he's REALLLY picky. Like, he doesnt like anyone. Hes really, really dorky, and there's not a lot physically wrong with him except he dresses kind of badly and always wears a scruffy look that does not match what he SHOULD look like, and he's comfortable and does not want to change.

Its sad hearing them talk about it on facebook, and when they personally confide about their loneliness to me. Is there something I can do for them? I feel so bad because I want them to be happy but they both tell me that there's something thats such a huge part of them missing. I care about them alot and I want them to be happy. I've worked out with them, did a "makeover", etc but the outside may change but the inside never does. They always revert to how they were previously, or stick with that ideal of who their mate should be. So Gay-GAF, do they have hope?
\
It seems like the gay dating world is very hung up on looks or doesnt really fit for the more introverted person. Being introverted, or fat, or having crooked teeth, or being too gay, etc. etc. etc. really put a nail in your dateability coffin. I just wish I could do more for my friends.
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alright, do you think they would be into each other at all? as lonely as they may be, just because they are gay doesn't mean they would be into each other. but still, if you think they could at least be friends, it might be great for them to have a gay guy friend to hang out with and talk about shit to. they could even go to gay bars or gay events and stuff together as well and that increases their chances of finding someone they actually would like to date.

but really, i can't stress this enough: do not hook them up if you think they are incompatible. do they know of each other's existence??? what are their opinions of each other at this point?
 
i_am_ben said:
?
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Just giving people a reason to come out. With creatures like that out there why stay in the closet!?

I have 2 good friends, whom I feel really bad for. I turn to Gay GAF for advice. I am trying to set them up or something because i want them to be happy. They confide in me all the time that theyre lonely and they wish there was someone out there for them.

One guy is a... obese asian guy. His personality is a little loud and I've heard rumors about him having stereotypical asian shortfalls. Down there. If anyone knows what I'm talking about. Also, from time to time he smells. And even worse he only had sex twice, according to him, and theres already stuff floating around about him. Also, hes teased alot for being a lush over everyone, and apparently gave fellatio to someone else at a party, in the main room, at 10PM. He has pretty low self esteem, but hes a great guy as a friend.

the other guy is a ultra-stereotypical Nintendo nerd. He's not bad looking per se, but he's REALLLY picky. Like, he doesnt like anyone. Hes really, really dorky, and there's not a lot physically wrong with him except he dresses kind of badly and always wears a scruffy look that does not match what he SHOULD look like, and he's comfortable and does not want to change.

Its sad hearing them talk about it on facebook, and when they personally confide about their loneliness to me. Is there something I can do for them? I feel so bad because I want them to be happy but they both tell me that there's something thats such a huge part of them missing. I care about them alot and I want them to be happy. I've worked out with them, did a "makeover", etc but the outside may change but the inside never does. They always revert to how they were previously, or stick with that ideal of who their mate should be. So Gay-GAF, do they have hope?
\
It seems like the gay dating world is very hung up on looks or doesnt really fit for the more introverted person. Being introverted, or fat, or having crooked teeth, or being too gay, etc. etc. etc. really put a nail in your dateability coffin. I just wish I could do more for my friends.
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First guy sounds more like a personal hygiene issue and less a sexuality one. He obviously is lacking some self respect so try to improve his attitude. Try to work out together. Be frank with him and tell him you're on his side and you feel bad about how he disrespects himself. Showing concern and investing yourself in his journey to a healthier life may be what he needs to turn things around. But as with such things this really depends on your commitment to your friendship and how far you're REALLY willing to go. You can help but only so far as they want to BE helped.

The Nintendo nerd has issues that you can't help with. You can give him real talk and tell him he is being too picky.

But since you've tried to work out with that guy and hes's refused I'd say you've fulfilled your duty as a good friend. But like I said these are more self image issues than gay ones.
 
mantidor said:
According to my shrink, and well any study I've read, everyone is bisexual to some degree, and purely heterosexual or homosexual persons are very, very rare. And after giving it much thought I think it makes sense, it's just not that easy for anyone to accept it, including gay people.

It's the root of homophobia, homophobia doesn't mean someone is afraid of gay people, it means they are afraid of their own homosexuality, and can't stand anything or anyone exciting that part of themselves, no matter how small or repressed it is.
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sexuality is a continuum, not an absolute.

edit - wtf. this page didn't show up until I made this post. I think GAF is breaking.
 
Sexuality is a continuum, but I think people often use this information to draw the incorrect conclusion about its distribution. Over my life I've gotten the impression that people tend to think that if you were to look at people's sexualities with respect to both same sex and other sex attraction, that you would form some kind of bell shaped distribution with a maximum in the middle.

The observed "curvature" with respect to sexuality however is not that. It differs for both genders as well. For males, the distribution is highly polarized. If "hetero" and "homo" were opposite ends of the scale there'd be a valley between two mountains kind of thing. In the case of females the curvature is more of a peak at hetero and a gradual drop off towards homo. Although most studies find varying rates of homosexuality incidence, almost all studies find a 2:1 ratio between gay males and gay females.

As for what defines sexuality, that's an interesting question for me, mainly because its a very scientific one. When science talks about phenomena we build models that try to account for the information we have. Arguably we have a sexuality model which says that people can be grouped based on the gender that they are attracted to and a catch all category for other things termed "paraphila". This is a very primitive model and a large portion of it was born out culturally.

We may have to start thinking about whether or not this model is the best way to account for the information we have. What if we looked at something like attractiveness to male dominance, male submissivity, female dominance, and female submissivity? People can have sexual inclinations towards these things, and its possible that if we modeled sexuality in this way? I remember reading a thread on a forum where gay people were describing the types of porno the like and I was interested to read that some liked watching straight porn because the idea of the guy just destroying the woman turned them on.

There can also be an implication that male and female brains aren't all that different in terms of sexuality. What if the turn on is female submissivity. Both males and females can have this attraction and we end up with the phenomenon of females being attracted to males and males being attracted to females because it enables such a thing.

However, its not like this is an idea I seriously believe in. There are probably some flaws with sucha model. The main point is, our current model, influenced mostly be old culture may very well have a lot wrong with it in a way that we may not currently think about.
 
btkadams said:
alright, do you think they would be into each other at all? as lonely as they may be, just because they are gay doesn't mean they would be into each other. but still, if you think they could at least be friends, it might be great for them to have a gay guy friend to hang out with and talk about shit to. they could even go to gay bars or gay events and stuff together as well and that increases their chances of finding someone they actually would like to date.

but really, i can't stress this enough: do not hook them up if you think they are incompatible. do they know of each other's existence??? what are their opinions of each other at this point?
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they know each other, and are cool, but they dont like each other. There was one time where I had left them in my car together for almost a hour, not on purpose mind you, and when I asked what they talked about, they said they sat there in complete silence... I don't think they are meant for each other. They're from 2 completely separate cliques and groups and organizations, so they didnt know each other until I introduced them, and honestly I did try the first time I introduced them, but Nintendo nerd is picky.

It just sucks that theyre so hung up on it and the most I can tell them is "Theres someone out there for you, dont worry dating isnt even all that, it sucks, etc"
 
The Abominable Snowman said:
they know each other, and are cool, but they dont like each other. There was one time where I had left them in my car together for almost a hour, not on purpose mind you, and when I asked what they talked about, they said they sat there in complete silence... I don't think they are meant for each other. They're from 2 completely separate cliques and groups and organizations, so they didnt know each other until I introduced them, and honestly I did try the first time I introduced them, but Nintendo nerd is picky.

It just sucks that theyre so hung up on it and the most I can tell them is "Theres someone out there for you, dont worry dating isnt even all that, it sucks, etc"
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yeah i hear you. it's great that you care about their happiness, but your second-guessing of them being good together is pretty obvious that even you know that it just wouldn't work with them. i think hamburg's advice is good. just try to get their self-esteem up. work out buddies is a good idea. try and get them to join a local LGBT club or something. they really need to just gain some self-esteem and be grounded in reality so they can make some gay friends that they can develop possible relationships with.
 
i_am_ben said:
And Gaygaf made a seperate gay porn blog for most of the cute boiz stuff.
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SOMEONE PM ME THIS. ZOMG how did I miss this!? D:

Also isn't The Abominable Snowman's issue more for the "relationship" thread? I mean if they're already "out" or comfortable with their sexuality, it seems like getting them together/playing matchmaker for them would be more a relationship thread issue.

SMH at splitting of threads

It seems like the gay dating world is very hung up on looks or doesnt really fit for the more introverted person. Being introverted, or fat, or having crooked teeth, or being too gay, etc. etc. etc. really put a nail in your dateability coffin.
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This is a sad, but somewhat true issue with the gay world. It is pretty shitty, to be honest.
 
TheSeks said:
SOMEONE PM ME THIS. ZOMG how did I miss this!? D:

Also isn't The Abominable Snowman's issue more for the "relationship" thread? I mean if they're already "out" or comfortable with their sexuality, it seems like getting them together/playing matchmaker for them would be more a relationship thread issue.

SMH at splitting of threads



This is a sad, but somewhat true issue with the gay world. It is pretty shitty, to be honest.
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The whole splitting of it is dumb. We are trying to fool ourselves that we don't have a mega thread so we make two *boggle*
 
TheSeks said:
This is a sad, but somewhat true issue with the gay world. It is pretty shitty, to be honest.
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I don't think this is any more true that the straight dating world. It's always easier for thinner people without crooked teeth.
 
well, I never heard of a guy being unfuckable for being too manly, or a woman being too womanly, but gay guys get turned down for being too 'gay' (Or 'out there' or 'feminine' all the time. I dont know the gay world in and out but 'out there' doesnt even mean feminine, but gay and proud. I.E. always in gay venues or tells people theyre gay without concern. You can be too 'out there' and masculine)

And I know guys who are quite obese and, sorry to say, ugly. Women too. Unfortunately they get a LOT of play. Gabby Sidibe, not joking on her or anything, had a decent looking boyfriend before she played her movie role. And I know chicks who are worse off than her.
 
Alcoori said:
I don't think this is any more true that the straight dating world. It's always easier for thinner people without crooked teeth.
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That's lousy reasoning. Have you not noticed the trend in the gay community toward the buff/athletic men in gay personal ads, anonymous sex ads, and other places?

Homosexuals are pretty superficial. Sure, that's also the case in heterosexual relationships, but not being "perfect" is easier in the hetero world than it is the homo world. You know?

Snowman said:
And I know guys who are quite obese and, sorry to say, ugly. Women too. Unfortunately they get a LOT of play. Gabby Sidibe, not joking on her or anything, had a decent looking boyfriend before she played her movie role. And I know chicks who are worse off than her.
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Straight's actually have an eaiser time due to alcohol and social norms and blah blah blah...

Gay's have to find someone "on the same team" which is hard while drunk, and find those that aren't that are "accepting" and won't beat the shit out of them (yes, this is a fear that still is there to this day), and then fight against the other guy/girl's high-standards.

Gay's standards are higher than straights. Why, probably because of the Roman influences a long time ago. But hell if I know, I just know if you're going to fuck: good luck if you aren't a plastic surgeon's "masterpiece" with most people.
 
Straight people too judge on people being too girly or too manly. I've heard lots of my friends saying this girl has broad shoulder, this one acts to manly or some girls complaining about some guy being to "neanderthal" or whatnot.

This isn't a gay issue, people are attracted to different kind of personalities, that's all. Being too gay is definitely not a hindrance in the gay world. Sure some people don't like that, but that doesn't mean no gay person do. Hell, being fat and hairy isn't even a problem, just look at bears. I've meant quite a few introverted gay guys, sure they don't go to club so if that's your only point of comparison I can see why you'd think that.

TheSeks said:
That's lousy reasoning. Have you not noticed the trend in the gay community toward the buff/athletic men in gay personal ads, anonymous sex ads, and other places?
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Are you seriously basing yourself on sex ads to judge of the superficiality of gay people? Most of straight sex ads also have hot girls with big boobs. Seriously, even on tv the hot straight guys are buff/athletic.

It's easy to complain about the high standards and whatnot, but if you're looking in the wrong places, that's no wonder.
 
In the US, we tell kids it'll get better once they're out of school; in a London school, teachers have largely eliminated the bullying by actually educating students:

http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/stand...nti-gay-bullies-are-taught-a-lesson-or-two.do
Teachers at Stoke Newington School say they have succeeded in "more or less eliminating homophobic bullying" in classrooms and playgrounds by teaching pupils about well-known gay historical figures.

Pupils learn about wartime code-breaker Alan Turing, who committed suicide after he was prosecuted for his homosexuality and forced to choose between prison or taking female hormones. Gay authors Oscar Wilde and James Baldwin and artist Andy Warhol also feature in the lessons.

Music teacher Elly Barnes said she developed the lessons with colleagues five years ago, after she became concerned about pupils using "gay" as a derogatory term. Now the school plans to extend the scheme by teaching hundreds of teachers how to "educate and celebrate" being gay.

Ms Barnes aims to "eradicate homophobia from all schools" by giving staff the confidence and resources required to tackle the prejudice.

"Many schools haven't even begun to deal with homophobia," she said. "Some still think being gay is illegal in parts of the country. By looking at famous LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender] people in history, we've changed opinions and we have had a number of pupils come out.

"We have also changed the language used in the school. I used to hear the word gay used all the time as a derogatory term. Now we hardly hear it."

Earlier this month, the Equalities and Human Rights Commission published a report, How Fair is Britain?, which found two-thirds of lesbian, gay and transgender students had suffered homophobic bullying, and 17 per cent had received death threats.

The commission also found that nearly half of secondary school teachers in England believe homophobic bullying is common and that only one in six believes their school promotes the rights of gay pupils. A poll of 1,145 pupils in 2007 by the charity Stonewall found 65 per cent of lesbian, gay and bisexual students had been bullied for their sexuality. Around 98 per cent said "gay" was used as a word for "rubbish".
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Music teacher Elly Barnes said she developed the lessons with colleagues five years ago, after she became concerned about pupils using "gay" as a derogatory term. Now the school plans to extend the scheme by teaching hundreds of teachers how to "educate and celebrate" being gay.
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Oh, I just cannot see that going down very well for quite a few people.
 
cosmic, i think the point of this thread is so that we don't have news posts like that buried in these gay threads and not in main gaf threads. you should've made a thread for that specifically. i'm not saying you're the only one that has i was just using that as an example.
 
Anti-gay bullying is being blamed for the suicide of 14-year-old Brandon Bitner of Middleburg, Pennsylvania on Friday. Bitner walked 13 miles before throwing himself in front of a truck, the Daily Item reports:

Freshman Brandon Bitner, 14, of Mount Pleasant Mills, ran in front of the truck at 3 a.m. near Liverpool, according to state police at Newport. The boy’s family discovered him missing at 3:45 a.m., and contacted police.

The road was closed for about three hours after the crash.

There seems to be little doubt in the students’ minds why Bitner did what he did. “It was because of bullying,” friend Takara Jo Folk wrote in a letter to The Daily Item. “It was not about race, or gender, but they bullied him for his sexual preferences and the way he dressed. Which,” she said, “they wrongly accused him of.”

His death came just days after an anti-bullying assembly at the high school, which, according to district Superintendent Wesley Knapp, was not held in response to any specific problems at the school, but because it is an issue Principal Cynthia Hutchinson has always felt strongly about. After the assembly, according to student Briana Boyer in another letter to The Daily Item, “No one took it seriously, and joked around about it.”

Former Midd-West student Erin Barnett sent a letter as well, blaming the school, saying that when students report bullying, “Nothing is done.”

Bitner was reportedly a talented musician. The school has provided a counseling center for students.
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:(
 
Siebzehn50 said:
Oh, I just cannot see that going down very well for quite a few people.
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Myself included. I see nothing to "celebrate" about being gay. I see nothing worthy of PRIDE in being gay. Sexual preference is like skin colour - something unchangeable about yourself that has no effect on you as a larger person.

Though the "educate" part of the quote I'm totally down with.
 
Well, I came out to another person via text message. I didn't want to do it that way because it's so tacky, but I really don't think I'm going to see her very often. I'm talking years here. We just happened to be texting back and forth about some concert when I just randomly wrote "Hey you know I'm gay right?" She responded with "I did not know that, but I love you all the same. :)" and she moved on to more concert talk. Like seriously, she barely gave to shits about it. :lol All my other coming out experiences the person I told was either very upset or very curious about it. She just moved on and didn't think twice about it. It felt kinda nice actually. :D
 
Suairyu said:
Myself included. I see nothing to "celebrate" about being gay. I see nothing worthy of PRIDE in being gay. Sexual preference is like skin colour - something unchangeable about yourself that has no effect on you as a larger person.

Though the "educate" part of the quote I'm totally down with.
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Ah, I guess I was mainly looking at the educate part. I've actually voiced similar sentiments about "celebrating" being gay in this thread so I'm with you on that.
 
From the Advocate:
The pastor of a megachurch in Conyers, Ga., told his congregation last week that he’s gay, saying that while he knows his announcement might ruin his career, the recent rash of suicides pushed him to speak out.

Jim Swilley, 52, founded Rockdale County’s Church in the Now 25 years ago. His wife, Debye, was the associate pastor, and together they had four children.

Swilley says he’s known that he’s gay since he was a boy, and his wife knew when they got married. Jim and Debye are now divorced, but they kept his secret for more than 21 years. Earlier this year, Swilley says, Debye told him she thought it was time he stop living a lie.

Swilley says he decided she was right after reading stories about kids being harassed by antigay bullies and committing suicide.

“As a father, thinking about your 16-, 17-year-old killing themselves, I thought somebody needed to say something,” he told WSB TV in Atlanta. “I know all the hateful stuff that’s being written about me online, whatever. To think about saving a teenager, yeah, I'll risk my reputation for that.”
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There's a video interview with Swilley here.
 
I feel very sorry for people who wait so long for this sort of thing. So many 'wasted' years.
 
Is there such a thing as a gay "phase"?

I've recently come out to a lot of my close friends, and it's been great, gives you that "fly" feeling; they've all been very supportive, and while surprised, were tactful enough not to freak over it. I'm happy. Very.

But.

I find it interesting every single one of them eventually led to a question somewhere along the lines of "Are you sure it's not just a phase?" I honestly know that it isn't a phase, or perhaps if it is, I wouldn't know either, 'cause I don't think there's such a thing as a "phase" of being gay. As I said, they seem to be all proud of and happy for me when I came out to them -- no drama, no long backstory, no shit, just casual convos -- but somehow I find myself furrowing my eyebrows over their concept of this so-called "gay phase".

Gay-GAF?
 
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