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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|

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Marius_ said:
Online dating, how does it work
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I used to be more active with that whole scene several years ago, but nothing really came of it. The closest thing to a relationship I ever had from one of those happened when I was about seventeen or so. I'm on one gay-oriented dating site now, but I rarely use it.
 
I've done online dating and have had mostly good experience. Dated someone for a long time, made a couple of good friends.
It all boils down to the kind of dating website you're on: Manhunt/Grindr aren't the ones I'd be starting with if you want something more than hookups (although there are exceptions).
 
zankara said:
I'm thinking about trying online dating since I live in a smaill town and it's hard to meet anyone. I put up a profile and have all these guys wanting to meet, but I'm rather terrified to be honest.

Edit: I'm meeting a guy for lunch tomorrow. Never been on a date so not really sure what to expect :/

Edit 2: He has got the same name as me. Is that kind of weird? It seems weird.
Click to expand...

Why is that weird?
 
Sooo
Last week (Saturday) I had to take my mom to the hospital cause she was really really sick, and there I met this cute guy, he is a nurse there (a fucking hot one while we are at it ;)). Now whenever he was around I was just too shy and nervous to do or say anything(I was just drooling) and viceversa, he was too serious , not talking , just following orders from other doctors and avoiding eye contact, but when I was not near he was laughing , talking , etc. And I thought "he hates me :( and I have a crush on him...fuuuuuuu"

I had to take my mom to the hospital two more days cause she wasn't feeling any better :( , but I saw two more times, on Wednesday they said I could take my mom home since she was better (or so we thought), the cute nurse helped me take my mom to the car, when she was closing the door, he said something like "Get well soon" and I said "Thanks :)" and then he smiled and we had like .0000001 second eye contact and then avoided any other kind of visual contact, then awkward silence (but he was still smiling and I was thinking "OMG finally we finally exchange some words..." even though 50% of the conversation was not even for me or was it? my mom could not hear that :O)

Keep in mind that in all these trips, everyone was always saying at least "Hi" and smiling, he never said anything or smiled, except for that last part I mentioned (hence why I thought he hated me :P , lol drama mooore)

And that had nothing to do with the actual problem :P

So now, to the point, I had to take my mom to the hospital again ( :( ) on Friday but he was not there, and since my mom is still there I will go again today, and tomorrow, problem is that this guy is at the Emergency room I have no reasons to go there, except that I wanna ask him if he wants to go on a date :P Problem is that there are many nurses and people the Emergency Room, everyone already knows me since I was there at least 4 different days and I'm not even sure he is homo or interested, but something tells me I just have to try!

I'm just nervous cause it's an hour before I go there, if he is not there I will go another day anyway (if I ever find the courage to go and ask him)

TL;DR : Cute guy working in a place where you are not supposed to be anymore (and everyone there knows who you are already) and you wanna ask him to go out on a date? How do you do that?
 
Why not go and ask the receptionist if so-and-so is working and see if he can be paged to the front desk. Thank him for being so nice during those visits, it was helpful and comforting, etc and then just take the conversation in the direction you want. Best case scenario, you get a date; worst case, he isn't gay or declines, end of story. It's not like he's going to assault or humiliate you in front of everyone.
 
Jezan sounds like me. ...for better or worse. :p
Around a month ago, my mother was hospitalized for like a week. Saw 4 different male-nurses, 3 security guards (even a really cute one that his uniform was different, a black leather jacket and black pants, boots, and a gun), all cute, around my age, serious at first, but gradually smiling and been more friendly as the hours/day went by...all straight (saw one talking about his wife, other arguing with his "bitch" (well he said) girlfriend, one kissing a girl when he started working...and so on).

I didn't had many friends through school (though the few were really great as I still talk to them and hang out, etc.), was bullied around and had no friends at all through my college years. So I kinda grew up with the expectations that the moment someone smiles at me and is nice, that person must be "special". Then as I grew older, if someone smiled at me "he might be the one!! OMG! Do I ask him out? Talk? Be more friendly?"...but aside cold shoulders, more pointing and laughing just for starting conversations...I'm still single and never been on a date. XD

Sorry for sounding like such a "Debbie Downer"...What I'm saying is..well, good luck. The guy was nice towards you and your mother (for relatively obvious reasons); but don't create expectations. If you have the guts to take things out a little further then go for it. :)
 
Marius_ said:
Online dating, how does it work
Click to expand...


online dating works? never worked for me.

fernoca said:
Jezan sounds like me. ...for better or worse. :p
Around a month ago, my mother was hospitalized for like a week. Saw 4 different male-nurses, 3 security guards (even a really cute one that his uniform was different, a black leather jacket and black pants, boots, and a gun), all cute, around my age, serious at first, but gradually smiling and been more friendly as the hours/day went by...all straight (saw one talking about his wife, other arguing with his "bitch" (well he said) girlfriend, one kissing a girl when he started working...and so on).

I didn't had many friends through school (though the few were really great as I still talk to them and hang out, etc.), was bullied around and had no friends at all through my college years. So I kinda grew up with the expectations that the moment someone smiles at me and is nice, that person must be "special". Then as I grew older, if someone smiled at me "he might be the one!! OMG! Do I ask him out? Talk? Be more friendly?"...but aside cold shoulders, more pointing and laughing just for starting conversations...I'm still single and never been on a date. XD

Sorry for sounding like such a "Debbie Downer"...What I'm saying is..well, good luck. The guy was nice towards you and your mother (for relatively obvious reasons); but don't create expectations. If you have the guts to take things out a little further then go for it. :)
Click to expand...

My life just about as well.


One of these days I'd like to post some good news here. sigh
 
This whole thread can be such a Debbie Downer. :P

Cheer up guys.


Oh man, it's unusual for me to be the cheerful one.
 
hateradio said:
This whole thread can be such a Debbie Downer. :P

Cheer up guys.


Oh man, it's unusual for me to be the cheerful one.
Click to expand...
I'd just want a nice comment and for someone to pat me on the head... I can't even fucking get that and people wonder why I'm always depressed.

=[
 
Jezan said:
TL;DR : Cute guy working in a place where you are not supposed to be anymore (and everyone there knows who you are already) and you wanna ask him to go out on a date? How do you do that?
Click to expand...

Step 1: Walk right up to him and point out that you have gone to great lengths to ask him out and he should reward your inconvenience with some of his time.
Step 2: ????
Step 3: Success

Having the courage is key, it works for both sexes.
 
gerg said:
.
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Uh, yeah, hes playing you. And it sounds like you know this already. Don't waste your time on him. Trust me, hes not wasting time on you. If he was interested, then he would respond to your repeated attempts at contact, as well as reciprocate your advances. Even his own friend warned you about him. Move on. He reminds me of alot of gay guys that plague gay clubs/bars. You know the ones, give them a few drinks and their making out one guy, dancing with another, throwing up in the bathroom and then going home with someone else.

To me, you sound like a sincere person, and thusly, deserve someone equally as sincere. So move one, and just pretend this guy doesnt exist. What a total waste of space.

Anyhoo, are you into the Iranian guy genuinely, cuz he sounds like a much more mature and honest dude.
 
SpaceBridge said:
If he was interested, then he would respond to your repeated attempts at contact, as well as reciprocate your advances.
Click to expand...

We actually talked yesterday - we must have exchanged about 20 or so e-mails. But at the same time he may only have been bothered then because he was working out how far I was willing to go with him. One thing that makes me think that he isn't interested in me is that he said that he's really been wanting to have sex recently, which I'm not going to give him, but at the same time he has said that he wants to meet me and isn't disappointed that I don't want to have sex.

But, of course, he's probably a jerk so I probably shouldn't take anything from that.

Even his own friend warned you about him.
Click to expand...

Well, not so much a friend as a friend of a mutual friend. I don't think the two particularly like each other.

To me, you sound like a sincere person, and thusly, deserve someone equally as sincere. So move one, and just pretend this guy doesnt exist. What a total waste of space.
Click to expand...

I just feel like I'm too into his social circle to cut him out of my life. If I knew him and only him, then no doubt I'd defriend him and that would be the end of it. But his friends are quite nice, and I also want to see some of them this weekend too.

Anyhoo, are you into the Iranian guy genuinely, cuz he sounds like a much more mature and honest dude.
Click to expand...

Yeah, the Irani guy is really sweet. : )

I'm only in the country now for another two weeks, but I'm really glad that I met him. When I wrote to him to ask if he didn't mind the relationship being even less casual than I'd imagined, I said that if he wanted me to choose I'd choose him, because I would.
 
gerg said:
I'm only in the country now for another two weeks, but I'm really glad that I met him. When I wrote to him to ask if he didn't mind the relationship being even less casual than I'd imagined, I said that if he wanted me to choose I'd choose him, because I would.
Click to expand...

Seems to me, you've already made a decision on who you'd rather spend time with during your last two week. Where are you btw, and where are you from originally?
 
SpaceBridge said:
Seems to me, you've already made a decision on who you'd rather spend time with during your last two week. Where are you btw, and where are you from originally?
Click to expand...

I'm only going to see these people at the clubs. If I do see both these guys I'd see the Irani dude on Friday and the Chinese dude on Saturday - if I don't see the Chinese guy it means that on Saturday I don't go clubbing for as long, or I just spend time with other people. (I don't think the Irani guy goes clubbing on Saturday.)

I'm in Japan at the moment, and I'm from London.
 
gerg said:
I'm only going to see these people at the clubs. If I do see both these guys I'd see the Irani dude on Friday and the Chinese dude on Saturday - if I don't see the Chinese guy it means that on Saturday I don't go clubbing for as long, or I just spend time with other people. (I don't think the Irani guy goes clubbing on Saturday.)

I'm in Japan at the moment, and I'm from London.
Click to expand...

Are you on trip of pleasure/sightseeing or business?
Also, why not pick one dude and just chill with him during your time in Japan?
 
SpaceBridge said:
Are you on trip of pleasure/sightseeing or business?
Click to expand...

I've been here for my gap year.

Also, why not pick one dude and just chill with him during your time in Japan?
Click to expand...

I was happy to pick one dude. But, as I said, one of the reasons that I do still want to meet the Chinese guy is that, if it does go well, it would be nice to leave Japan having ended my time knowing him personally on a good note than one where I still have mixed feelings about him and don't know quite what to do.

I think I'm going to wait until this evening before I ask him, in English, if he's actually interested in me or not. He can do the translation.

Edit: Tried asking the "friend" who told me the Chinese guy was a slut on FB for help, but then he signed off mid-conversation. Boy, does it feel great to know that he really cares. : /

GOD I feel just as fucking shit as last week.

Edit 2: I finally sent him a message in English. I imagine this will be the end of it.

Edit 3: So, I've now defriended him. I'll see how this affects my friendship with the other people I met through him.
 
neojubei said:
When does that happen?
Click to expand...

Right? Its anything but fabulous for me. Family hates my sexual orientation. Guys are for the most part dogs. Unless I guess it gets worse with age? Since for most guys its all about looks and nothing else. That leaves many off in the cold. I really can't stand that when I'm constantly told I'll find someone, and there is someone out there for everyone.

I just feel like punching those people in the face. D:
 
*sigh* Why is it that I tend to meet the hottest guys in a place that is not conducive to conversation? Why can't I meet them in classroom or at work or something?

I was waiting for a bus when this hot guy suddenly stand next to me. But I thought "what's the likelihood that this stud would actually like me?" So I just kept my mouth shut and just enjoy stealing looks at him until my bus arrived.

Much to my surprise, he took the same bus that I took. But he got in first and chose a seat all the way back. Not wanting to be creepy and because I'm too lazy to walk all the way to the back, I just sat somewhere in the middle of the bus.

But just as I was about to sit, I got another surprise because he suddenly move and sat next to me. Not exactly next to me because there's a small aisle for people to walk between my seat and his seat but I was surprised that he went all the way from the back to a seat near me.

Unfortunately since I'm socially awkward I don't know what to do. If this had been a classroom, I'd have introduce myself but on a bus, I think it's creepy to introduce yourself to a stranger. And since he didn't say anything, I just assumed that it was a coincidence that he moved near me. But man, that was a torturous half hour trip back home. I get nervous when I'm near someone that I like.
 
gerg said:
blurb
Click to expand...
my thoughts:
• chinese guy is playing you so don't waste your time with him, even if you just want sex. people who fuck around with people's heads like that don't deserve anyone's time.
• iranian guy sounds really cool.
 
btkadams said:
my thoughts:
• chinese guy is playing you so don't waste your time with him, even if you just want sex. people who fuck around with people's heads like that don't deserve anyone's time.
• iranian guy sounds really cool.
Click to expand...

Thanks.

Well, after trying to call this Chinese guy a few times (after writing him an e-mail in English), and outright saying to him when we was online that if he didn't care to me he should delete me on Facebook, I just defriended him myself (as I said above). Even if I were entirely overreacting, I took his inaction as a particularly large sign of him not caring, and I had just had enough.

But now I have no idea what to do with eight or so people on Facebook. Now that I really dislike one of the social circle I doubt I can become particularly close with any of them, and what upsets me even more is that I doubt that any of them even care in the first place. I tried speaking with one of the mutual friends right now about the matter, and I could tell that he wasn't particularly interested in listening to me and trying to help me.

I feel like I should just rid myself of the entire social group, but I don't know if that would be incredibly and stupidly rash.

Edit: Got rid of the one person who didn't seem to care to listen to me. When I said that I wasn't sure I could be friends with another person, they seemed more surprised and concerned. I talked to them about what happened, and they were much more sympathetic, so I think that friendship is all good.
 
Replicant said:
*sigh* Why is it that I tend to meet the hottest guys in a place that is not conducive to conversation? Why can't I meet them in classroom or at work or something?

I was waiting for a bus when this hot guy suddenly stand next to me. But I thought "what's the likelihood that this stud would actually like me?" So I just kept my mouth shut and just enjoy stealing looks at him until my bus arrived.

Much to my surprise, he took the same bus that I took. But he got in first and chose a seat all the way back. Not wanting to be creepy and because I'm too lazy to walk all the way to the back, I just sat somewhere in the middle of the bus.

But just as I was about to sit, I got another surprise because he suddenly move and sat next to me. Not exactly next to me because there's a small aisle for people to walk between my seat and his seat but I was surprised that he went all the way from the back to a seat near me.

Unfortunately since I'm socially awkward I don't know what to do. If this had been a classroom, I'd have introduce myself but on a bus, I think it's creepy to introduce yourself to a stranger. And since he didn't say anything, I just assumed that it was a coincidence that he moved near me. But man, that was a torturous half hour trip back home. I get nervous when I'm near someone that I like.
Click to expand...

Heh, Replicant is a hottie. You gotta be, why else would the guy move up to sit near you. He was probably checking you out as much as you were. Take some solace in that I suppose. You wont date every guy you find attractive, but you might find that cruising can be fun too, and an ego boost as well.
 
RPGCrazied said:
Right? Its anything but fabulous for me. Family hates my sexual orientation. Guys are for the most part dogs. Unless I guess it gets worse with age? Since for most guys its all about looks and nothing else. That leaves many off in the cold. I really can't stand that when I'm constantly told I'll find someone, and there is someone out there for everyone.

I just feel like punching those people in the face. D:
Click to expand...


I think I said that once.
 
Gerg

Of the two times I have been to Japan I never looked for the gay scene, is there one there? Where are some good places/bars?
 
Kyon said:
Gerg

Of the two times I have been to Japan I never looked for the gay scene, is there one there? Where are some good places/bars?
Click to expand...

Isnt there Pride celebration in Japan? I swear I have some FB friends in Japan who're gay, and open and Ive seen pics of their Pride events.

Dont they also have a Fertility god thats a giant phallus too?
 
SpaceBridge said:
Isnt there Pride celebration in Japan? I swear I have some FB friends in Japan who're gay, and open and Ive seen pics of their Pride events.

Dont they also have a Fertility god thats a giant phallus too?
Click to expand...

they have pride? holy shit lol and yeah the giant phallus isnt gay pride related i dont think
 
neojubei said:
online dating works? never worked for me.
Click to expand...
It works if you're looking for sex. Too bad most guys I've met online didn't want anything more after the sex. Inexperienced as I were, I've even fallen for one of them. :(
 
DarkUSS said:
It works if you're looking for sex. Too bad most guys I've met online didn't want anything more after the sex. Inexperienced as I were, I've even fallen for one of them. :(
Click to expand...
Nope that doesn't even work for me either. All I get are old white guys who are probably spamming everyone to see who will bite. Ever since being gay life has been on big hell. It's all about looks, race, money, weight. Be the wrong race, fat and have no money and the gay life will ignore your existence. My friend's friend is short twinkish fillipino guy and for him gay is fablous. Being cute helps him meet tons of people and guys buy him drinks all the time. My friend and I are the ugly ducklings who are glorified chaffuars sometimes. There was a time my friends and I were walking down the street and my friend's friend ( I don't consider him a friend) stopped to tie his shoe and a car drives up to him and someone is trying to get his number. Stuff like that never happen to me.
 
hateradio said:
This whole thread can be such a Debbie Downer. :P
Click to expand...

YoumustbenewhereWillyWonka.jpg

This is why I've avoided the gay thread over the years. It's all bitching about men or not having a man. I've got bigger issues like getting paid than laid to worry about.

@Neo: You should post pictures in the picture thread, I'm sure someone there will notice you.

And _Isaac don't call no more. :(
 
Thanks for all the advice, guys. But, now that the majority of people will have probably seen my post I've decided that my social life doesn't need to be that easy to find on the internets, Google's cache aside.

Kyon said:
Gerg

Of the two times I have been to Japan I never looked for the gay scene, is there one there? Where are some good places/bars?
Click to expand...

Yeah, there's a great gay scene in Tokyo. Shinjuku Nichome has the highest concentration of gay bars in the world. (The one caveat to this statistic is that the majority of these are distinctly Japanese bars, as in small rooms holding about 10-12 people.)

The bar "The Advocates" is a great place just to chill, and I most often go to the clubs "Arty Farty" and "Annex" as you generally get younger guys there.

Outside of Tokyo I don't think there's that much of a scene, but I didn't particularly look. Apparently Osaka is better for it than Kyoto, though.

Edit: This is OT, but in general Japan's attitude to being gay seems to be that it is something you do, not something you are. On the one hand, this is great, because it means that there's incredibly little active homophobia around. (Tokyo mayor Shintaro Ishihara is one significant exception, but he's bigoted, xenophobic and misogynistic, too, so he must feel that there's plenty of hate to go around!) On the other hand, I think this means that being gay isn't recognised as a particularly important part of who you are, and so I can imagine that things like gay marriage, for example, are still a long way coming.

There are a couple of gay government ministers, however, and even a transgendered one. I think the attitude is changing, but slowly.
 
TheSeks said:
YoumustbenewhereWillyWonka.jpg

This is why I've avoided the gay thread over the years. It's all bitching about men or not having a man. I've got bigger issues like getting paid than laid to worry about.

@Neo: You should post pictures in the picture thread, I'm sure someone there will notice you.

And _Isaac don't call no more. :(
Click to expand...

Hey, we should all post pics of ourselves. I for one would love to see a pic of Replicant. :)
 
gerg said:
Yeah, there's a great gay scene in Tokyo. Shinjuku Nichome has the highest concentration of gay bars in the world. (The one caveat to this statistic is that the majority of these are distinctly Japanese bars, as in small rooms holding about 10-12 people.)

The bar "The Advocates" is a great place just to chill, and I most often go to the clubs "Arty Farty" and "Annex" as you generally get younger guys there.

Outside of Tokyo I don't think there's that much of a scene, but I didn't particularly look. Apparently Osaka is better for it than Kyoto, though.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure how much the scene in Tokyo has changed in the past 4 years but when I lived there but I was severely disappointed that the only two bars mentioned above were the ones open to foreigners. Most of the other places in Nichome were closed off specifically for Japanese. I tried both Advocates and Arty Farty and they're pretty much the same deal week after week. Can be fun depending what you're looking for but definitely check them out at least once. My favourite bar was called Kinsmen, but it may no longer be there.
 
SpaceBridge said:
Hey, we should all post pics of ourselves. I for one would love to see a pic of Replicant. :)
Click to expand...

I'm not giving GAF any pictures of me. :| All I'm saying is, Neo sits here depressed and putting his picture on GAF and getting positive responses would help him out.
 
TheSeks said:
YoumustbenewhereWillyWonka.jpg

This is why I've avoided the gay thread over the years. It's all bitching about men or not having a man. I've got bigger issues like getting paid than laid to worry about.

@Neo: You should post pictures in the picture thread, I'm sure someone there will notice you.

And _Isaac don't call no more. :(
Click to expand...


If I post pics of Jabba the Hut people would prefer that to pics of me.
 
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