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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|

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Fixed.

Kidding.

Maybe. ;)


In this regard I've been very lucky. I've had sexual partners who run the gamut in the "hot" to "not-so-hot" scale, but I've found that the ones who really make my dick hard are the average Joes. And fortunately, there's no shortage of them. So I don't necessarily need to lower my standards to get some action, it just works out in my favor because of my tastes. Which isn't to say I'll fuck anything with a pulse, as I do find some features and attributes more attractive. But more than once I've had friends wrinkle their noses when I point out someone who floats my boat. But I don't care--I'm looking for me, not them.

Despite that, I too have had my share of unrequited attraction, frustratingly enough. But you just move on, plenty of fish in the sea. But you won't know that unless you put yourself out there.


So. Much. This.

You know what never goes out of style?

Confidence.

Show me a guy with confidence (NOT arrogance), and I'll show you a guy who's got my attention. I've met short guys, fat guys, twiggy guys, crooked-toothed guys, bald guys--you name it--who I've found amazingly fascinating (and oftentimes attractive) because they carry and express themselves in a confident manner. And because they don't necessarily fit society's beauty standards, I find their self-confidence is especially remarkable.

It starts with being comfortable in your own skin, by being able to say "I'm cool with who I am" when you look in the mirror. Even in my earliest days coming out/dating/tricking, I never hid who I was or what I liked to do from the guys I met. I remember once meeting a guy at a bar and taking him home to play Super Tennis on SNES (yeah, it was a looong time ago). He left me a note the next morning that said "Last night was weird, but fun." Another guy I showed my comic books to (including the Hulk issue where Jim Wilson dies of AIDS). And to this day I still display my cool LEGO around the house. Video games, comic books, toys--generally not taken as dating pluses for an adult, especially in the 90s. But at the end of the day, I gotta live with myself and do what makes me happy. And if I'm happy, everything else pretty much takes care of itself.

I remember once a guy told me he hooked up with me because I put in my profile: "Happily single." I guess that makes sense, because who's inclined to hook up with someone who's desperate, or unhappy?

I'm not saying that lack of confidence, desperation, or unhappiness are kisses of death. But if you find yourself in that situation, it might be more important for you to work on that before you look to a relationship. It's easier for people to be comfortable with you if you're comfortable with yourself.

Wish I had some of your confidence.
 
I'm not saying that lack of confidence, desperation, or unhappiness are kisses of death. But if you find yourself in that situation, it might be more important for you to work on that before you look to a relationship. It's easier for people to be comfortable with you if you're comfortable with yourself.
Exactly. How can you expect someone to like you, if you don't like yourself first?

Love (and get into a relationship) when you're ready, not when you feel alone.
 
Wish I had some of your confidence.

It's not like people are born with it man.
Like Father_Brain said, perception is reality. It ain't gonna magically fall in your lap until you are proactive about changing what you think is wrong - otherwise it'll never change.
 
Woah, is that a Binaltech Jazz? I have a few of those in storage, theyre such a pain to transform though. lol. And a reissue Blaster, nice. Takara or Hasbro?

If we ever moved in together, our place with be a mad full of TF's.
Yeah, Binaltech that transforms into an RX-8. Sadly, it's plastic and not diecast. Agreed on the transformation process, I've done it maybe twice. lol

I don't think the Blaster's a re-issue. I bought it from a transsexual at her yard sale for like $10. I was amazed she still had the gun, too.

Nice Saturn collection! /tangent

Saturn <3
Thanks, you two! Since the Genesis, I've always had a soft spot for SEGA. The Saturn was the pinnacle for the 2D era. (Your avatar rocks, Phonomezer!)
 
It's not like people are born with it man.
Like Father_Brain said, perception is reality. It ain't gonna magically fall in your lap until you are proactive about changing what you think is wrong - otherwise it'll never change.

I guess the alternative is to off myself.
 
I guess the alternative is to off myself.

No, bb, that's not an alternative. I remember, you've been going to therapy right? Keep it up, and don't let small set backs let you down. Everyone feels lonely at some point in their lives, I just wish that you'd keep you head up.
 
Not to boost his ego or anything, but I think Darth WuFei has alot of the qualities in a guy id be looking for.

Muscular with skinny waist. Thickness that comes from muscle not fat.

And caramel (Tanned) skin or darker. Under 35. Short cut hair.

And trimmed down body hair. I dont find body hair hot at all, but I can deal with it.
You just described my boyfriend. (Grailey from TC and he lurks this thread).

U JEL? XD

Personally it's his gamer skill and interest in science, politics and stuff like that that makes him boyfriend material, not just his good looks. I know that 'black don't crack' but looks fade and muscle wastes, but for now I shall enjoy his fine ass. :P
 
I guess the alternative is to off myself.

Neo... Remember when I used to message you and flirt with you? But them I started seeing your depressive posts in boards plus that time you put fake pics of yourself and that really turned me off. I know you have depression, so do I. The thing is, depression is not permanent. I had it and I am getting treatment for it. I try to surround myself with happy people. I try to busy myself with work and other activities even if I don't feel like it and have no motivation to do it. I don't know how hard your life must be but I'm pretty sure it isn't as bad as other's have. I used to live with my grandparents and they treat me horribly. Not feeding me and making me stay in a room. The only time I got to interact with people was when I go to school but when I get home I would have to put up with the abuse. I really loved my parents but they
I don't want to go on because it opens up memories. Just be glad.
 
Yep.

- Get treated. Seriously. Don't quit it unless you find a better alternative.

- Surround yourself with worthy/happy/kind/positive/good people. It's all about the environment.

- Get yourself busy. It helps tremendously. Yourself, alone, doesn't matter. Get out (even if you start slowly, even if it's only every once in a while).

- This is super important: DON'T IGNORE PEOPLE ADVICE. They might not know you that well, but they are trying to help you with all the info. you have provided (which has been mostly a negative perception of yourself).
Try some advices, they are good, even if they sound difficult or inconvenient.

- Don't expect your life to turn around quickly. Patience is king here.

Best of luck!
 
Hey guys how do you deal with being picky about looks? In my case I don't consider myself that attractive by my standards and I think my standards are pretty mainstream. Yes, I'm vain and one of my friends who knows I'm out says it but acts like I can turn it off and just accept it. I don't think I can! I'm not sure how that developed, but I think my only hope is finding a guy who doesn't care as much about looks and meets my standards. I'm wondering if that's even possible.
 
Hey guys how do you deal with being picky about looks? In my case I don't consider myself that attractive by my standards and I think my standards are pretty mainstream. Yes, I'm vain and one of my friends who knows I'm out says it but acts like I can turn it off and just accept it. I don't think I can! I'm not sure how that developed, but I think my only hope is finding a guy who doesn't care as much about looks and meets my standards. I'm wondering if that's even possible.

Congrats, you're a man. Good luck.
 
Thanks for the optimism! Ugh what a horrible thing to be handed down - being a gay man and average looking. It's like my own traits used against me!
 
I guess the alternative is to off myself.

No. Stop that kind of thoughts.

You make it sound like you've exhausted other possibilities or have tried your hardest at them. Go join the gym and don't say "I've joined the gym but I don't see any results". Well, you're not going to see results right away. Life style change is not some kind of a game where you shoot a monster and you get immediate gratification in the form of points. You have to work hard, sweat, contain the embarrassment that others may look better than you (and may always be one step ahead of you because they started first or work harder). But if you're persistent and work hard at it, in a year or two, you'll start to notice changes in your body and others will too. Along the way your self-image will also improve because you'd notice that others started to notice you instead of the other way around. Once that happens, the self-confidence will built up and up and even if you're not sure if you look confident to others, fake it until you make it.

At the same time, join other kind of classes that you like: language, cooking, sports, etc. Make friends with other people even if they are straight. So what if they are not gay? At least you'll find some company to be with: people who share the same interest as you do. At the end of the day, isn't that what people want? Sex is one thing but just having the company of others can be equally important things to have as well. And the socialization you'd have in the class will improve your happiness, outlook in life, and confidence to talk to others. From time to time, you'll feel lonely because these people also have their own life/love/people to come home too. But that's where you rely on your hobby like video gaming, reading, swimming, etc to keep you occupied and your mind busy. If your job is not where you want to be, re-educate yourself and that'd give even more things to occupy your mind.
 
Yes, let's turn a main-line series that was known for it's singleplayer into a dudebro shooter. *rolls eyes*

No forced co-op didn't "better the series," in fact it diluted it further.

*sighs wistfully* Oh, how Biohazard: Outbreak had "forced co-op" perfect while leaving my precious single-player main-line alone.

Dudebro? I played as Sheva and Jill DLC.

It isn't forced if you say yes. =)
 
No. Stop that kind of thoughts.

You make it sound like you've exhausted other possibilities or have tried your hardest at them. Go join the gym and don't say "I've joined the gym but I don't see any results". Well, you're not going to see results right away. Life style change is not some kind of a game where you shoot a monster and you get immediate gratification in the form of points. You have to work hard, sweat, contain the embarrassment that others may look better than you (and may always be one step ahead of you because they started first or work harder). But if you're persistent and work hard at it, in a year or two, you'll start to notice changes in your body and others will too. Along the way your self-image will also improve because you'd notice that others started to notice you instead of the other way around. Once that happens, the self-confidence will built up and up and even if you're not sure if you look confident to others, fake it until you make it.

At the same time, join other kind of classes that you like: language, cooking, sports, etc. Make friends with other people even if they are straight. So what if they are not gay? At least you'll find some company to be with: people who share the same interest as you do. At the end of the day, isn't that what people want? Sex is one thing but just having the company of others can be equally important things to have as well. And the socialization you'd have in the class will improve your happiness, outlook in life, and confidence to talk to others. From time to time, you'll feel lonely because these people also have their own life/love/people to come home too. But that's where you rely on your hobby like video gaming, reading, swimming, etc to keep you occupied and your mind busy. If your job is not where you want to be, re-educate yourself and that'd give even more things to occupy your mind.
Great post all around.
Though I think that in the end, neo's problem won't stop unless he decides to do so.
And I've been there. I grew up getting insulted, punched, kicked, thrown trash and eggs to my face; just because of: wearing glasses, bracers, acne. Yeah, wasn't the most pretty kid around and I grew up to become just a taller version of my younger-self (which has advantages, since many people and just today, tell me about how I look younger than I am -nearly 30- :p).

Is not like college was any different, had a real difficult time making friends too. And I tried everything I could: online - went to nearly every site, photographed nearly every part of my body, live-cams, wrote my entire biography and aside technically one-night stands, not much. Heck, a few guys stood me up with the usual "let's meet in public,..BRB..." and never returned. Offline -I went to social clubs, places, clubs, bars,approached people in general, gym, a classes (like art, computer, reading, etc.)
Plus a bunch of things..and don't want to make this any longer. :p

And still nothing.
So, sometime later (last year actually) I just got tired. If I didn't went out looking for someone, I was told that I had to go out there and meet people, because love wouldn't come knocking at my door. And when I did went around and did so, I was told that I wasn't supposed to look for love, that love would arrive when I wasn't expecting it. At least got to know people, some good, some not so good.

So, I stopped caring, as of last month got a dog and that dog has been amazing, still have my family and hang out and still talk with the same 3 friends..for over 15 years. Now, to get a steady/good job, improve more things and whatever. :p
neo if anything needs to focus No gym, clubs, people, would do wonder unless he focus on himself.

So, neo..if people don't want to talk to you, put you aside, etc. is their loss. Plus, look at the positive side; more money and more time to buy clothes, games, etc. :p
 
I think my only hope is finding a guy who doesn't care as much about looks and meets my standards. I'm wondering if that's even possible.

It's been my experience that such men do exist, and when you do meet them, it will be online and they will live thousands of miles away.

Have a nice day! :)
 
You don't even know me or my life ok.

I guess the alternative is to off myself.

I thought about replying to Neo's post and felt like I should say nothing but it began to bother me. I don't know you or your life, just what you post here. I've lurked this thread for a while and I've seen positive as well as negative post from you. Everyone can see you lack the self confidence you should have. I used to be the same way though I admit not as bad. I was self conscience about my looks and the way people perceived me. This kept me in the house never wanting to go out and eventually I put my self in a bubble / rut. When I went off to college my roommate was an awesome latin guy that I had a major crush on even though he was straight. He didn't have a car and I did so I would take him places and go out with him. He really brought me out of my shell and taught me a valuable lesson about not giving a fuck what other people think. We're still friends to this day and he's like a brother to me. Every since then I've learned that most of the time people are thinking about what your thinking about them. I say all this to say you gotta live your life. I have seen you post on more than one occasion about offing yourself. That hurts because I know plenty of people who passed away in the past year who crave life and they weren't in love with anyone but they enjoyed their life. I feel sorry for you not because your alone, but because your not enjoying life. This is only my opinion, you gotta do you.

No. Stop that kind of thoughts.

Great post all around.
Though I think that in the end, neo's problem won't stop unless he decides to do so.

Great post and advice.
 
Hey, I'm really glad you came last night - I saw you chatting with a bunch of folks that you wouldn't have met otherwise. Keep your chin up and just try to look people in the eye and smile a bit more - when it comes to confidence, perception is reality. I know it's intimidating, but you'll get there, I really think you will. Don't give up.

Once again thanks for inviting me. I learned a lot.

I don't know if I'll make it, but I promise you I'll try my best.

I guess the alternative is to off myself.

As someone who's in a similar situation to you, I would suggest that you hold off on that.

Replicant's advice is sound.

Try.

Try as hard as you can for a lengthy period of time. Read books, go to bars, join a gym, hire a hooker, travel, anything. Do whatever pops into you mind, whatever you think will make you happy.

After that, if nothing has happened, and you gave it your all....

Well, who could blame you?
 
FgiZUl.jpg


Big pic but what do you guys think of the beard? Slowly growing it back again.
 
FgiZUl.jpg


Big pic but what do you guys think of the beard? Slowly growing it back again.

Looks good man. In order to celebrate the shaving of my beard this week, I will repost a pic from the beard thread. Ignore the thinning hair :)

yVIiB.jpg


It's about an inch longer at the moment. I will miss it, but damn it's hot at the moment!
 
FgiZUl.jpg


Big pic but what do you guys think of the beard? Slowly growing it back again.

Not bad. :)

You should get it edged, though. One thing sexier than a bear is a clean-cut one.

EDIT: I originally meant to write "beard", but still an appropriate typo. lol
 
Speaking of guys...

Watched the pilot for Smash last night (looks like it'll be pretty great), and I now have a new celeb crush.

Raza Jaffrey:

ymlwY.jpg


Tall, older, handsome face with a touch of dork appeal. Thick eyebrows. Gorgeous speaking voice.

Hnnngg, my type to a T.
 
Looks good man. In order to celebrate the shaving of my beard this week, I will repost a pic from the beard thread. Ignore the thinning hair :)

yVIiB.jpg


It's about an inch longer at the moment. I will miss it, but damn it's hot at the moment!

Testosterone, report in! BEARD!


So report after two rehearsals and new member orientation brunch: the Orlando Gay Chrorus is an amazing experience so far. Ridiculously accepting and loving group of crazy crazy talented people. I am soooo thrilled to call myself a part of this.

We're going to GALA, the gathering of gay choruses this year (every 4 years like the olympics) in Denver, and I cannot wait. Reminds me of being in State level choirs and being surrounded by people who are not only über talented, but people who want you to excel.

I'm trying out for OutLoud, one of the four smaller ensembles performing at GALA this week,so with me luck!

Royalan, are you heading to GALA?
 
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