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Getting Caught Stories

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L

Lemurnator

Banned
I've seen threads like this before and they're always gasp and laugh enducing.

Have you ever been caught masturbating? By who? What's the story behind it? Has your relationship ever been with the person who caught you since the incident?

Heh. Post your getting caught stories.
 
S

StrikerObi

Member
I was making out with my girl in my room. At the time none of my friends really knew anything was going on with me and anybody else. So we're in there making out and my friend Marc walks into the apartment (we keep the door unlocked often when people are home). He assumed I was surfing the net in my room and he opened the door to the sight of me with my hands all over my girl. His face was ghost white. I waved at him twice. First horizontally to say "hi" and then verticall right after to say "bye bye." He left. It was hilarious, to me at least.
 
T

Trevelyon

Member
Nope, never.... my stealthy ninja skills coupled with the lock on my door ensured no mind altering, skull jamming awkwardness.
 
D

Dyne

Member
I was damn close a couple of times. But quick reflexes help. As soon as the doorknob is turned the whole way I'm always covered. The hard part is making it look like I'm doing something else.
 
V

videogamer

Banned
Hmm... brother and siblings' babysitter. Both times they barge into the room while I am looking at "stuff" while whacking away.


Now come on people, post those funny stories like before.
 
B

B'z-chan

Banned
Emanuelle was on tv one night (soft core porn) back in 98 i was just discovering the a pleasures of late night tv and of life. And pop the door went and i completel went crazy running around the room. Then fainted i was all sweaty and had a horrible fever. But for those few split seconds i was caught red handed and i knew it. Later during the week it was discussed and ah yeah thats when i got a lock on the door.
 
Tritroid

Tritroid

Member
I've never been caught, but damn I almost was one time when I was about 14 or 15.

Going through puberty you do stupid things sexually, and this would be one of those instances. I had printed out a few random porn images off the PC so I would have something to whack to for later.

My sister and my mom were both outside, so I figured this was my best opportunity to strip down and take care of business in the bathroom. Sitting on the floor completely naked I distributed the multiple printouts around me and got to work. I took my time as I knew my sister and mother would be outside for a while.

Suddenly, I heard someone coming running in the front door shouting: "Brandon! Are you in the bathroom?! I've gotta come in for a second!!" The door knob started to turn.

Fast as lightning I gathered up all the images in one swoop, along with my clothes, and shoved them in between the cabinet and the toilet. I jumped up and sat on the toilet. My sister raced to the sink and started washing the blood off of what was apparently a pretty bad cut on her finger.

So there I was sitting nude on the toilet with multiple porn printouts bunched in the corner next to me, with my sister's back facing me. Lucky for me our bathroom was setup so that whoever came in would be facing the sink, and have to turn around to look at the toilet.

It wasn't too long after that that my sister started crying, and of course my mother came rushing in the bathroom as well to look at it. Now both of them were standing there at the sink. Finally my mother said, "Here, let's go out to the kitchen sink so your brother can finish using the bathroom".

I really think the masturbation gods were looking out for me that day, because either of them could have easily just looked in my direction and seen me naked with porn.
 
C

ced

Member
Tritroid said:
Going through puberty you do stupid things sexually.
Click to expand...

So this explains your bar bathroom blowjob story = P

Thats pretty funny though, how did your sister not hear the paper being crumbled, sounds are normally a give away lol
 
Tritroid

Tritroid

Member
ced said:
So this explains your bar bathroom blowjob story = P

Thats pretty funny though, how did your sister not hear the paper being crumbled, sounds are normally a give away lol
Click to expand...
How would I be in a bar if I was still going through puberty? :p

I guess she didn't hear it because she was still opening the door and also too concerned about the blood gushing from her finger.
 
C

ced

Member
Closest I ever came to being caught was leaving a playboy in the bathroom, I was lucky to have a brother to blame it on at the time. After that I made extreme efforts to leave no evidence.
 
S

Strike East

Member
Ninja like speed and the reflexes of a cat have saved me form many a close call, at this point my skills are that of a covert operative.
 
M

Mama Smurf

My penis is still intact.
ced said:
So this explains your bar bathroom blowjob story = P
Click to expand...

Why will no one tell that story in full!? I've been asking since the last boards as I seem to have missed the topic, and everyone juts seems to dodge round it.

Why doesn't your bathroom have a lock Tritoid?
 
N

nitewulf

Member
masterbating without a locked door is like deliberately asking for trouble. why would you do it??
anyway, i have never been caught, though while watching porn once with a friend...ok better not share this story...
 
R

reggieandTFE

Member
I was "getting intimate" with my ex-girlfriend and her door didn't have a lock on it so we would put a heavy ass sewing machine in front of the door and wait until no one was home or they were asleep. One time she was on top when her twin brother starting opening up the door and asking something. In the split second before the door had opened I threw her under the covers, grabbed my jeans and dove into the closet. He was high and never suspected anything. However, the incident kind of scarred me and I was never comfortable fooling around at her place again.
 
N

Naked Snake

Member
I don't think I've ever been caught while masturbating, but one time my nephew walked in on me but I managed to cover myself in time, he knew what I was doing but it really didn't matter because we're really that close, and there's absolutely no secrets between us. When one of us wants to fap, he always shamelessly asks the other to leave the room for a while :p

He did catch me sunbathing in the nude once though, I have a "secret area" where I can tan completely nude without anyone seeing me, but one time he found me and I didn't realize it, so he backed away and deliberately made some noise before coming again, so I can hear it and cover myself (I guess he didn't want to embarrass me at the time), but I found out later that he did indeed see me naked that time.

Edit: Who the hell changed my tag back?! :(

WILL OFFER SEXUAL FAVORS FOR TAG CHANGE
 
C

cvxfreak

Member
Just recently I was doing it with a condom. I left the wrapper nearby. When I was done I forgot to throw the wrapper away and my brother came in. Luckily he didn't notice it.
 
F

Fifty

Member
CVXFREAK said:
Just recently I was doing it with a condom. I left the wrapper nearby. When I was done I forgot to throw the wrapper away and my brother came in. Luckily he didn't notice it.
Click to expand...


Now we know where the FREAK in your name comes from. :p
 
L

Lemurnator

Banned
I think he's referring to me.

I'm proven real so...

Also, I only made this thread because of how entertaining the threads before it were.

Getting Caught threads used to be funny. :(
 
G

GDGF

Soothsayer
Never been caught fapping, but one time (not too many years ago, actually) I was doing the deed with a pretty redhead at my friends house (as he used to have some pretty crazy parties when his mom was out for awhile) and kinda forgot to pick up the condom wrapper when I was done. His mom found it, and I wouldn't have really cared if she wasn't a Dean at the university I was attending at the time. Had to see her pretty much every day, and while she never said anything directly, it was very awkward. It was a kind of I know but I'll try my best to act normal and not let you know that I know vibe she was giving off. Was a while before I could look at her with a straight face.
 
L

Lemurnator

Banned
bitingmonkeyslemurs.jpg


bitinglemur.jpg


I reek of Joke Character.
 
B

Brannon

Member
No, never got caught, but almost did once. I posted it in the old forum, but the short version.

In bed, getting bizzay and at the point of no return when I hear the door knob creak. I flip the blanket over me, but the cup spilleth over, as you might say. It's my brother telling me I need to get up for something. I tell him I'll be up in a minute, all the while I'm keeping my blanket hovered just over my body. At that point he acts like a little brother and starts dropping elbows on me for the hell of it. That goes on for a minute and then he stops and says he'll be in the kitchen.

You can lay there for only so long before you realize that you're going to have to get up.
Full-body bukkake = teh suck.
 
E

emerge

Member
Camillemurs said:
Why the hell would you do it with a condom? Isn't that supposed to kill the sensitivity or something?
Click to expand...

AIDS, mycosis, clap, chancre and pregnancy are sometimes not so desired.
 
Tritroid

Tritroid

Member
emerge said:
AIDS, mycosis, clap, chancre and pregnancy are sometimes not so desired.
Click to expand...
How exactly do you plan to get AIDS, mycosis, clap, chancre or pregnancy through masturbation?
 
E

emerge

Member
Tritroid said:
How exactly do you plan to get AIDS, mycosis, clap, chancre or pregnancy through masturbation?
Click to expand...

Well, I thought "doing it" referred to sexual intercourse with another human person. The dangers of masturbation are of course hunchbacks and dementia.
 
M

Mr Gump

Banned
DJ Brannon said:
No, never got caught, but almost did once. I posted it in the old forum, but the short version.

In bed, getting bizzay and at the point of no return when I hear the door knob creak. I flip the blanket over me, but the cup spilleth over, as you might say. It's my brother telling me I need to get up for something. I tell him I'll be up in a minute, all the while I'm keeping my blanket hovered just over my body. At that point he acts like a little brother and starts dropping elbows on me for the hell of it. That goes on for a minute and then he stops and says he'll be in the kitchen.

You can lay there for only so long before you realize that you're going to have to get up.
Full-body bukkake = teh suck.
Click to expand...
That is fucking disgusting. The manner of which some of you pleasure yourself is sickening. You would sleep in those sheets that night id take it?
 
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