Getting Over Girl-Age (Depressed-AGE?)

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Busty said:
A wood paneled station wagon is being dispatched to get you.


I know, I know. I was 17, she was 15. I didn't want to go to prom at all, but my friend said his little sister really wanted to go.

Oh jeebus, I had 90's anchorman hair too.
 
I'll never understand why people have to post stuff like this to GAF of all places. Every time I see girl-age stuff I just feel embarrassed for the OP.
 
radioheadrule83 said:
...some real dickheads in this thread. If we do that to everyone, is it any wonder we end up with people who bottle things like that up and maybe later act on it?.

So you accuse some posters in this thread of being dickheads and then say the OP may one day have sex with a child if these 'feelings' weren't shared.

Right. Good job.

ChiTownBuffalo said:
I know, I know. I was 17, she was 15. I didn't want to go to prom at all, but my friend said his little sister really wanted to go.

Oh jeebus, I had 90's anchorman hair too.

We know. We're also sending a wood paneled station wagon for your barber.




;p
 
A 14 year old is a child, mentally speaking.
You justified your attraction by convincing yourself that she's mature. Believe it or not, you have pedophilia tendencies.
 
Busty said:
So you accuse some posters in this thread of being dickheads and then say the OP may one day have sex with a child if these 'feelings' weren't shared.

Right. Good job.

There are people here calling him scum because of what he's felt / thought, acting out some kind of hive-mind policing of thought crime... I just feel that forcing people to repress their thoughts and feelings, particularly this kind of thing, will just make matters worse. He hasn't committed a crime, and I wasn't saying he is likely to or anything -- he shared this with us, he's asking for help, we have a responsibility to talk with him properly about it and not just call him names / label him.
 
radioheadrule83 said:
There are people here calling him scum because of what he's felt / thought, acting out some kind of hive-mind policing of thought crime... I just feel that forcing people to repress their thoughts and feelings, particularly this kind of thing, will just make matters worse. He hasn't committed a crime, and I wasn't saying he is likely to or anything -- he shared this with us, he's asking for help, we have a responsibility to talk with him properly about it and not just call him names / label him.

On one hand yes, I agree with you, your reply is very even handed and you do make some great points. The OP hasn't committed a crime.

But at the same time none of us are qualified to deal with an issue as serious as this in any real way. The OP didn't share this with us, a fellow poster 'printed' the PM the OP sent him.

I don't have the answer but the OT section in GAF was never the right place for this to be 'dealt with' seriously.
 
Busty said:
Clearly that particular train has sailed.

Agreed. But I mean, damn...there are a LOT of lines that were crossed to go from "This is my underage student" to where he is.

Many, many inappropriate lines. He should honestly reconsider being a teacher if these feelings ever persist with another student. To prey on someone so young and naive is beyond selfish. He shouldn't allow himself to get anywhere NEAR the vicinity of feeling that way about a child. students look to teachers as a guide, a mentor.

Allowing oneself to be attracted to a child is beyond irresponsible and selfish. If he honestly can't maintain the teacher/student boundary and the adult/child boundary he should SERIOUSLY reconsider teaching children. Seriously.
 
Busty said:
On one hand yes, I agree with you, your reply is very even handed and you do make some great points. The OP hasn't committed a crime.

But at the same time none of us are qualified to deal with an issue as serious as this in any real way. The OP didn't share this with us, a fellow poster 'printed' the PM the OP sent him.

I don't have the answer but the OT section in GAF was never the right place for this to be 'dealt with' seriously.

No, the OP showed the PM himself, check the post again.
 
OP, you remind me of a gaffer that also worked as a teacher in Japan or China and then tried to start something with one of his students. Let´s just say, GAF hated him. And that´s the problem, really: You´re in a position of power here. Forget about the age for a moment: You´re her teacher. Not only is that legally forbidden, it also makes for a weird situation, doesn´t it?
And honestly, 14 is simply too young. Not only would I assume that it is illegal for a 22 year old to be in a relationship with a girl that young, but also is it too many years away from her being a legal adult, which means you´d have to really test your luck if you think that *she´s the one*.
Honestly, I´m not in a much better position than yourself, having feelings for a 16 year old at 25 myself. It´s legal and I´m not her teacher, but you still cannot openly talk about it because of how close minded society is.

My advice: Since you *know* that you´re leaving the country soon, don´t do anything. Because 1.) you say you love her, but what then after you fucked her? Saying goodbye and that´s it? That´d be just cheap and corrupt your love. And 2.), with so little time left, you spare yourself a lot of potential troubles. Fly home and have a nice memory of her if you think she´s worth remembering. That´s all you should do. Best luck.

Zenith said:
You're 22. She's 14. You're a paedophile. You would have fucked up her life if you'd started a relationship with her, sicko.

You´re a sicko. Now how does that feel? Damn, wtf. Edit: wow, after reading the last two pages, a lot of similar assholes in here. He hasn´t done anything wrong, yet, goddam. Stay classy, prude gaf.
 
Mammoth Jones said:
Agreed. But I mean, damn...there are a LOT of lines that were crossed to go from "This is my underage student" to where he is.

Many, many inappropriate lines. He should honestly reconsider being a teacher if these feelings ever persist with another student. To prey on someone so young and naive is beyond selfish. He shouldn't allow himself to get anywhere NEAR the vicinity of feeling that way about a child. students look to teachers as a guide, a mentor.

Allowing oneself to be attracted to a child is beyond irresponsible and selfish. If he honestly can't maintain the teacher/student boundary and the adult/child boundary he should SERIOUSLY reconsider teaching children. Seriously.

The thing that gets me is that it's not just a case of being attracted to such a young girl it's the fact he's more or less heart broken about it.

Having a fleeting sexual attraction to a teenage girl that isn't yet legal is a world away from having feelings for one.

I hope the OP gets the hope he needs.

Doomboy said:
No, the OP showed the PM himself, check the post again.

I stand corrected. None the less.......
 
Aad said:
So there's this girl I started liking alot over the past 6 months. I don't want to give too much detail because I think it falls into forbidden love.

She's pretty, intelligent and I know I'll never be able to have a chance at being with her so I've been down in the slums for the past few days because I'll never be able to see her again (or for a very long time).

What do I do GAF, how do I get myself to being my normal happy self?

6 months and you didn't make a single move? WTF?

Theres nothing you can do to get over her except move onto the next girl.
 
Sennorin said:
OP, you remind me of a gaffer that also worked as a teacher in Japan or China and then tried to start something with one of his students. Let´s just say, GAF hated him. And that´s the problem, really: You´re in a position of power here. Forget about the age for a moment: You´re her teacher. Not only is that legally forbidden, it also makes for a weird situation, doesn´t it?
And honestly, 14 is simply too young. Not only would I assume that it is illegal for a 22 year old to be in a relationship with a girl that young, but also is it too many years away from her being a legal adult, which means you´d have to really test your luck if you think that *she´s the one*.
Honestly, I´m not in a much better position than yourself, having feelings for a 16 year old at 25 myself. It´s legal and I´m not her teacher, but you still cannot openly talk about it because of how close minded society is.

My advice: Since you *know* that you´re leaving the country soon, don´t do anything. Because 1.) you say you love her, but what then after you fucked her? Saying goodbye and that´s it? That´d be just cheap and corrupt your love. And 2.), with so little time left, you spare yourself a lot of potential troubles. Fly home and have a nice memory of her if you think she´s worth remembering. That´s all you should do. Best luck.



You´re a sicko. Now how does that feel? Damn, wtf.


Sorry if society is closed minded about grown ass men trying to get with children. Totally our fault....

Or you could....you know...control yourselves like adults are expected to do and not pursue inappropriate relationships with children? Just a thought.. Sorry, this isn't the 1700's where people were married with 20 kids by 17. Society has changed, and its expectations of its members have evolved as well.
 
Jason's Ultimatum said:
If you ever get into trouble, I know a pretty good lawyer that goes by the name of Lionel Hutz. PM for more details.
Bob-Loblaw.jpg
 
He knew it was wrong, he didn't do anything: why are you all attacking him?

OP: Good on you for resisting the urge to make a move which you knew would be morally and ethically wrong. Now obviously make no attempt to contact her again and move on with your life. With all the input from GAF in this thread (especially all the rational suggestions made about how any relationship with the girl would severely affect you both psychologically) it seems that it should be easy to not do something similar again.

Though if you don't feel that is the case then you should, obviously, consult a therapist etc.
 
Mammoth Jones said:
Sorry if society is closed minded about grown ass men trying to get with children. Totally our fault....

Or you could....you know...control yourselves like adults are expected to do and not pursue inappropriate relationships with children? Just a thought.. Sorry, this isn't the 1700's where people were married with 20 kids by 17. Society has changed, and its expectations of its members have evolved as well.

"Innappropriate relationships". Big fucking LOL. That´s exactly the kind of stuck up society that wants to control all the people that aren´t like the rest of the herd. As long as it´s legal, society should mind its own fucking business and be happy for other people living their life. Are you really such a control freak as to having to tell other people what they should and shouldn´t do? Would you like it if I made you feel bad about something you liked? But why would I?

Man, I´ll never get this negative society that cannot accept different ideas. Hating homosexuals, hating black people, hating MAGIC-players, now hating people how love someone that is at the lower spectrum of the legal age of consent. I just wanna hug all those hated minorities and cry together with them. Makes me so angry, such ignorance.
 
Sennorin said:
"Innappropriate relationships". Big fucking LOL. That´s exactly the kind of stuck up society that wants to control all the people that aren´t like the rest of the herd. As long as it´s legal, society should mind its own fucking business and be happy for other people living their life. Are you really such a control freak as to having to tell other people what they should and shouldn´t do? Would you like it if I made you feel bad about something you liked? But why would I?

Man, I´ll never get this negative society that cannot accept different ideas. Hating homosexuals, hating black people, hating MAGIC-players, now hating people how love someone that is at the lower spectrum of the legal age of consent. I just wanna hug all those hated minorities and cry together with them. Makes me so angry, such ignorance.

You just offended so many people, including magic players.
 
Sennorin said:
"Innappropriate relationships". Big fucking LOL. That´s exactly the kind of stuck up society that wants to control all the people that aren´t like the rest of the herd. As long as it´s legal, society should mind its own fucking business and be happy for other people living their life. Are you really such a control freak as to having to tell other people what they should and shouldn´t do? Would you like it if I made you feel bad about something you liked? But why would I?

Man, I´ll never get this negative society that cannot accept different ideas. Hating homosexuals, hating black people, hating MAGIC-players, now hating people how love someone that is at the lower spectrum of the legal age of consent. I just wanna hug all those hated minorities and cry together with them. Makes me so angry, such ignorance.
You just managed to convince yourself that fucking a child has grounds for merit.
Grade A disgusting.
 
Sennorin said:
"Innappropriate relationships". Big fucking LOL. That´s exactly the kind of stuck up society that wants to control all the people that aren´t like the rest of the herd. As long as it´s legal, society should mind its own fucking business and be happy for other people living their life. Are you really such a control freak as to having to tell other people what they should and shouldn´t do? Would you like it if I made you feel bad about something you liked? But why would I?

Man, I´ll never get this negative society that cannot accept different ideas. Hating homosexuals, hating black people, hating MAGIC-players, now hating people how love someone that is at the lower spectrum of the legal age of consent. I just wanna hug all those hated minorities and cry together with them. Makes me so angry, such ignorance.
holy shit
 
Sennorin said:
"Innappropriate relationships". Big fucking LOL. That´s exactly the kind of stuck up society that wants to control all the people that aren´t like the rest of the herd. As long as it´s legal, society should mind its own fucking business and be happy for other people living their life. Are you really such a control freak as to having to tell other people what they should and shouldn´t do? Would you like it if I made you feel bad about something you liked? But why would

But the problem is while you're so caught up in YOUR desires, YOUR wants, YOUR needs you aren't even CONSIDERING ANY of the potential pitfalls that might affect the CHILD, dude. Oh so you like it? So fucking what? What if I liked hurting people? Should I be able to go around hurting people just because I want to and it gives ME pleasure? We have a word for people like that.

At the end of the day study after study has PROVEN that children that young are ill-prepared to be making those types of choices in today's society. Our rules are set up to protect THEM. Not you, sorry. The verdict is in and we as a society have decided that those types of relationships HURT kids. It hurts their long term development and it allows a much more experienced adult to be in a position to manipulate them.

Man, I´ll never get this negative society that cannot accept different ideas. Hating homosexuals, hating black people, hating MAGIC-players, now hating people how love someone that is at the lower spectrum of the legal age of consent. I just wanna hug all those hated minorities and cry together with them. Makes me so angry, such ignorance.

Are you REALLY comparing the desire to have sex with children to being gay or being black? Dude, get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.
 
Timedog said:
Wait a second, is it normal to NOT jack off to some girl that you care about/think is hot but you're friends? I jack off to almost every girl that I know that's at least semi-attractive. I'm serious, I'd probably fuck a good portion of my female friends(that I haven't slept with already) if the moment was right (broke up with boyfriends/whatever). If I don't feel like I can fuck them, I'll certainly jack off to them whenever I feel like it. Is this really that weird?
iOOCF.jpg
 
viakado said:
You just managed to convince yourself that fucking a child has grounds for merit.
Grade A disgusting.

A 16 year-old is an un-fuckable child now? Guess the law sucks then, eh? Seriously, some of these replies take away any doubt as to why we still haven´t achieved world peace. People *want* to argue, they *want* to mess with other people´s lives. I guess it´s their form of entertainment.
 
Sennorin said:
A 16 year-old is an un-fuckable child now?

Yes! What's wrong? You can't pull a woman your own age? It's been proven time and time again that children, even 16 year olds, are STILL in a developmental stage and it's wrong for a grown ass man to get with them. The adult is automatically in an unfair advantage w/ the ability to manipulate them. A 16 can barely decide what to wear to school, you think they're ready for relationships and can TRULY grasp the risks/consequences?



Sennorin said:
Guess the law sucks then, eh? Seriously, some of these replies take away any doubt as to why we still haven´t achieved world peace. People *want* to argue, they *want* to mess with other people´s lives. I guess it´s their form of entertainment.

No, the law doesn't suck in this case. It's great. It's protecting those that need to be protected from those that only care about their own selfish desires. Not ONCE have you typed a SINGLE word of concern for those kids on the other end of the spectrum regarding this. All you care about is your feelings and your desires. Thankfully the law isn't a "Sennorin get's to do whatever makes em happy regardless of the potential damage it can do to another living being" card.
 
Sennorin said:
"Innappropriate relationships". Big fucking LOL. That´s exactly the kind of stuck up society that wants to control all the people that aren´t like the rest of the herd. As long as it´s legal, society should mind its own fucking business and be happy for other people living their life. Are you really such a control freak as to having to tell other people what they should and shouldn´t do? Would you like it if I made you feel bad about something you liked? But why would I?

Man, I´ll never get this negative society that cannot accept different ideas. Hating homosexuals, hating black people, hating MAGIC-players, now hating people how love someone that is at the lower spectrum of the legal age of consent. I just wanna hug all those hated minorities and cry together with them. Makes me so angry, such ignorance.
This is gross and upsetting to read
 
14...what grade is that? 9th grade right? Fuck, I was still playing Yu-Gi-Oh. I also had a moustache. Can you imagine a pedophile fucking a kid that had a moustache?
No pedophile wanted to rape me :(


Anyways OP, wait until she starts playing Poker.
 
Aad said:
So there's this girl I started liking alot over the past 6 months. I don't want to give too much detail because I think it falls into forbidden love.

cousin loving is wrong.
 
Raiden said:
You have not read the rest of the thread have you :p?
I came back for an edit, but too late, Ive been caught!!

I actually mixed up a couple threads and thought I was about first in line for cousin loving joke. SIGH.

Anyway, this shit is way wronger than cousin lovin. Jesus OP you wish this was cousin loving.
 
Mammoth Jones said:
At least THAT could be justified. But not what the OP is talking about.
Where did I try and justify that I wanted to be in a relationship with a 14 yea old?
 
Aad said:
First things first I'm not sick or a pedophile. I have had two girlfriends in the past the youngest being three years younger than me.

I'm an English teacher in China, the oldest class I teach range from 16 - 19 year olds. I'm good friends with this class, we go to the movies, eat at restaurants together. I've taught this class since the beginning of March up until this weekend.

One of the students is 14 and she's in this class because she's very mature and intelligent for her age although she looks about 18. Cos she's in the same class she always hangs with us, we spoke about many things together, religion, politics etc. then a few months ago I started having feelings for her.

I tried to suppress these feelings because I knew they were wrong and was pretty successful in doing so but there was still something there.

So the last weekend, I took the class to eat and then flew kites by the Yellow River and then it hit me, I'm leaving for England and probably won't see her again, everythingjust came back and hit me hard. I realised I really like this girl but at the same time it's so wrong.

I've hung out with many Chinese women and there are many that I'm sexually attracted to. Just like when I was with my ex, many people didn;t consider her very pretty but I still was attracted to her. It feels the same way with this friend and student of mine.

Anyways thanks for listening to me rambling I needed to get it off my chest.
Count Dookkake said:
Title should be: Getting Over Girl's Age.

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OP: you did nothing wrong. You had questionable feelings and didnt act on on them, make sure you dont act on them in the future. If you continue to have these kinds of thoughts and feelings, I urge you to consult a mental health professional like a psychiatrist. The posters that are attacking you for "choosing" to think this way are woefully misinformed and should take the time to educate themselves.
 
Sennorin said:
"Innappropriate relationships". Big fucking LOL. That´s exactly the kind of stuck up society that wants to control all the people that aren´t like the rest of the herd. As long as it´s legal, society should mind its own fucking business and be happy for other people living their life. Are you really such a control freak as to having to tell other people what they should and shouldn´t do? Would you like it if I made you feel bad about something you liked? But why would I?

Man, I´ll never get this negative society that cannot accept different ideas. Hating homosexuals, hating black people, hating MAGIC-players, now hating people how love someone that is at the lower spectrum of the legal age of consent. I just wanna hug all those hated minorities and cry together with them. Makes me so angry, such ignorance.

Well Sennorin, this certainly explains quite a bit of your post history on the subject.

Society has these rules, which may seem arbitrary to you because of your unique situation (whatever that may be), because more often then not, grown men seek out teenage women for easy sex. That's it. Most of these girls are infatuated with the idea of men who can pay for their own things, and they are easily taken advantage of. Since having children out of wedlock is seen as a net negative, since having children at young ages is seen as a net negative (physically), and since having children without education or gainful employment is seen as a net negative, these laws arose out of mutual societal interest to make sure we don't have a bunch of pregnant 14 year olds running around.

The OP has been in healthy relationships before, and he knows that being with a student (regardless of age) is wrong. You, on the other hand, are an admitted relationship novice. I don't think you can claim that your attraction to this girl is anything more than physical obsession because you don't know any better. No one does until they've actually been in a relationship and knows what that entails.

Healthy relationships are based on equality. That's the primary reason why having a relationship with a student (or an employee) is a bad idea - you hold power over them outside of your friendship and intimacy. Throw in an age gap, and one begins to wonder what you could remotely have in common aside from physical attraction. You aren't in the same stages of your life. You are probably gainfully employed, travelling, driving, going to the gym, drinking, generally filling your life with the responsibilities of a young adult. She has school and after school activities. Maybe a job at banana republic. Unless she's an advance student (like the OP's), she probably knows jack shit about the world aside from what you tell her. What does she bring to the relationship besides her looks and naivete? It has to something more than "we like the same videogames and anime and kpop groups".

What is your profession that would put you in regular contact with 16 year olds? Maybe you should get out of it if that's the only female contact you get on a regular basis.
 
I don't think OP is a pedo. If she looks 18 then she looks 18, there are tons of jailbait girls that look way older than their age.

With that being said if I was in your situation the moment I found out she was 14 I would've been shocked and then immediately backed down. Even if she looks older, there's no way she's mentally prepared for that kind of relationship, she's only 14 and still a kid. She's only ready for relationships with other kids her age, maybe a year or 2 older, but not 22.

OP the less you see or interact with her, the faster you'll be able to get over her. If you're that infatuated then it may take a while but I personally don't think it's right to do anything with someone that young, I just picture them as a child mentally still.

A question I find more interesting is how did you get to become a teacher in China at the age of 22? lol
 
Honest question, do you guys think a lot of the foreign english tutors in China go there because they legitimately want to teach english? Or do they go there because the fact that they're white makes them almost celebrities in China and they're capable of getting significantly more pussy overseas than they could ever imagine back at home?
 
Sho_Nuff82 said:
Well Sennorin, this certainly explains quite a bit of your post history on the subject.

Society has these rules, which may seem arbitrary to you because of your unique situation (whatever that may be), because more often then not, grown men seek out teenage women for easy sex. That's it.

But that´s exactly the point: Society´s rules (aka the law) doesn´t forbid that. (Assuming you were talking about my situation, not some 14 year old, I agree that that´s too young) The only instance that makes it hard for people do turn their dreams into reality is some disgusting kind of societal mob-mentality, often disguised under the term *morals*.

Even if I wasn´t in that situation I currently am in (and rest assured, I´m not in an environment where I meet young girls all the time. It´s also the first time I found myself attracted to such a young girl. I don´t fall in love depending on some number, ya know), I´d still hate how other people think they´re entitled to decide what´s right and what´s wrong, when the law itself doesn´t forbid it.

There will always be evil guys that think young girls are easy game, but they´re also good guys that just happen to fall in love with a person that´s near the legal limit. I for one hate a society where stuck up conservatives start demonizing you for something that is legal and without any ill intent. Just because *you* don´t like something doesn´t mean everyone else has to dislike it. At least that´s my belief.
 
Innappropiate age aside, you only have known her for six months and as a friend at most. It couldn't be a very deep love, and so you shouldn't be so upset about it. Sounds like you're just eager for a companion.
 
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