Getting Over Girl-Age (Depressed-AGE?)

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Mammoth Jones said:
When you allowed yourself to develop feelings for one.
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That's a ridiculous statement. You can't control your attraction towards another individual in the same way you can't control when you get hungry, tired, or thirsty. What you can do, however, is control your actions, which he did. He looked at a girl who was vastly and illegally (maybe? whats consent in China) underage for him, and noted that for him to take action would be morally and ethically wrong, and preceded NOT to do anything about it.

Would you agree that it's possible for individuals to thing or feel differently then the way they act? And that sometimes we thing or feel certain ways that we know we shouldn't? Even fucked up things?
 
datruth29 said:
That's a ridiculous statement. You can't control your attraction towards another individual in the same way you can't control when you get hungry, tired, or thirsty. What you can do, however, is control your actions, which he did. He looked at a girl who was vastly and illegally (maybe? whats consent in China) underage for him, and noted that for him to take action would be morally and ethically wrong, and preceded NOT to do anything about it.
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As a teacher, he crossed a line ALLOWING himself to develop NOT JUST an attraction, but a deep infatuation. he didn't just go "Oh hey, she's pretty...man in a different world I would totally..." He willingly held onto that attraction for a dangerously long time. Will he be able to stop at the threshold next time? Would you be comfortable with your child being "educated" by a person that allows themselves to do that?

datruth29 said:
Would you agree that it's possible for individuals to thing or feel differently then the way they act? And that sometimes we thing or feel certain ways that we know we shouldn't? Even fucked up things?
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When it comes to underage kids, no. Sorry, but that's just how I feel. And if one DOES feel those "fucked up" things, one shouldn't be a teacher around young kids. That's like putting man on the verge of alcoholism at a beer tasting job... Just a bad move.
 
datruth29 said:
That's a ridiculous statement. You can't control your attraction towards another individual in the same way you can't control when you get hungry, tired, or thirsty. What you can do, however, is control your actions, which he did. He looked at a girl who was vastly and illegally (maybe? whats consent in China) underage for him, and noted that for him to take action would be morally and ethically wrong, and preceded NOT to do anything about it.

Would you agree that it's possible for individuals to thing or feel differently then the way they act? And that sometimes we thing or feel certain ways that we know we shouldn't? Even fucked up things?
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I think we're losing the point of what we're talking about here. He didn't fall in love with some other guy's wife and then suffer depression over it. He fell for a 14 year old girl. Mature or not that's got an 'ik factor' of TEN.

If you're going to use the 'we can't help who we fall in love with' argument then where does it end?

"Dude, i really fucking love my dog. No i mean I REALLY love my dog'

Also I wonder how the girl feels about the OP. She probably can't even properly pronounce his fucking name.
 
You touch that girl and the China goverment will send a bill to your family for the bullet used in your execution.

fixed ; )
 
datruth29 said:
That's a ridiculous statement. You can't control your attraction towards another individual in the same way you can't control when you get hungry, tired, or thirsty. What you can do, however, is control your actions, which he did. He looked at a girl who was vastly and illegally (maybe? whats consent in China) underage for him, and noted that for him to take action would be morally and ethically wrong, and preceded NOT to do anything about it.

Would you agree that it's possible for individuals to thing or feel differently then the way they act? And that sometimes we thing or feel certain ways that we know we shouldn't? Even fucked up things?
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I understand this sentiment, but I struggle to understand why it is only brought up in cases like this or why it is applied especially for paedophilia. If someone desires to burn cats with a cigarette lighter, I doubt gaf or the rest of the interwebs would defend those feelings with the same tenacity. Perhaps if it was the only thing that got them off they would?
 
Sennorin said:
But that´s exactly the point: Society´s rules (aka the law) doesn´t forbid that. (Assuming you were talking about my situation, not some 14 year old, I agree that that´s too young) The only instance that makes it hard for people do turn their dreams into reality is some disgusting kind of societal mob-mentality, often disguised under the term *morals*.
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Depends on state/country. In many places it's damn illegal for a 25 year old to engage in a sexual relationship with a 16 year old.

Sennorin said:
Even if I wasn´t in that situation I currently am in (and rest assured, I´m not in an environment where I meet young girls all the time. It´s also the first time I found myself attracted to such a young girl. I don´t fall in love depending on some number, ya know), I´d still hate how other people think they´re entitled to decide what´s right and what´s wrong, when the law itself doesn´t forbid it.
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Don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you're not confusing love with lust? Or infatuation? Could lack of emotional maturity be a factor on your part? What do you have in common enough to love a child? I like pokemon too, but c'mon...

People decide what's right or wrong based off a large variety of factors. Not just "what I want", you do, it seems.

Sennorin said:
There will always be evil guys that think young girls are easy game, but they´re also good guys that just happen to fall in love with a person that´s near the legal limit. I for one hate a society where stuck up conservatives start demonizing you for something that is legal and without any ill intent. Just because *you* don´t like something doesn´t mean everyone else has to dislike it. At least that´s my belief.
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So now one has to be a conservative to think a grown man banging kids is wrong? So then you're saying it's liberal ideology to allow adults to enter into sexual relations with kids? Please don't tell Fox...they'll have a field day with this shit.
 
Alebrije said:
You touch that girl and the China goverment will send a bill to your family for the bullet used in your ejecution.
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Send a bill?!

They'll just add it to the current tab the US have running over there.
 
J-Rod said:
I understand this sentiment, but I struggle to understand why it is only brought up in cases like this or why it is applied especially for paedophilia. If someone desires to burn cats with a cigarette lighter, I doubt gaf or the rest of the interwebs would defend those feelings with the same tenacity. Perhaps if it was the only thing that got them off they would?
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This is where people point out vigorously that the PROPER term is epebiphilia or something.

Still just as wrong....
 
Alebrije said:
You touch that girl and the China goverment will send a bill to your family for the bullet used in your ejecution.
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That is like a new word that combines ejaculation and execution into one. Creepy.
 
Sennorin said:
But that´s exactly the point: Society´s rules (aka the law) doesn´t forbid that. (Assuming you were talking about my situation, not some 14 year old, I agree that that´s too young) The only instance that makes it hard for people do turn their dreams into reality is some disgusting kind of societal mob-mentality, often disguised under the term *morals*.

Even if I wasn´t in that situation I currently am in (and rest assured, I´m not in an environment where I meet young girls all the time. It´s also the first time I found myself attracted to such a young girl. I don´t fall in love depending on some number, ya know), I´d still hate how other people think they´re entitled to decide what´s right and what´s wrong, when the law itself doesn´t forbid it.

There will always be evil guys that think young girls are easy game, but they´re also good guys that just happen to fall in love with a person that´s near the legal limit. I for one hate a society where stuck up conservatives start demonizing you for something that is legal and without any ill intent. Just because *you* don´t like something doesn´t mean everyone else has to dislike it. At least that´s my belief.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MB3Szl23xI
 
Aad said:
Of course I've learnt from this situation and I know it won't happen again.

A few of you have mentioned I need professional advice. Really? If so who do I approach?
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your first mistake is making this thread, second just let it blow over dude. You will forgot about her in a few months.
Also I really wish people would fucking stop with this pedo shit. He isn't a pedo most for mofos obviously don't know what the word means. ....smh
 
lmfao. I came in ready to give the guy sympathy (been there before) and then I read that the girl in question is 14.

This has to be fake. Just some guy having a laugh right?
 
I figured it out

nothing to do with Age.

OP is a talking dog that can type, girl he likes is a human.

It's a simple case of puppy love.
 
Mammoth Jones said:
This is where people point out vigorously that the PROPER term is epebiphilia or something.

Still just as wrong....
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I'm hopefully going out with this 19 year old from work, Saturday, known her sense she was 17. I'm 27.... If its wrong I don't want to be right.
 
I love how people are shitting on this guy, when he's handling the situation in basically the best way he can. Well, maybe he shouldn't have come to GAF.

He didn't do anything wrong and repeatedly said he would never act on it. He comes here for advice and gets insults instead.
 
J-Rod said:
I understand this sentiment, but I struggle to understand why it is only brought up in cases like this or why it is applied especially for paedophilia. If someone desires to burn cats with a cigarette lighter, I doubt gaf or the rest of the interwebs would defend those feelings with the same tenacity. Perhaps if it was the only thing that got them off they would?
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Yeah. I mean, I'm not prepared to propose punitive consequences or call for an angry mob to inflict harm, but at the same time I can't really read the story and offer "touch break"-esque condolences in the typical Girl-Age fashion. The fact that this went as far as it did -- i.e. being depressed about not seeing the girl again -- is something that I think is disconcerting. I don't think therapy would be a terrible idea.
 
neoism said:
I'm hopefully going out with this 19 year old from work, Saturday, known her sense she was 17. I'm 27.... If its wrong I don't want to be right.
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"Knowing" a 17 year old, banging at 19 is completely fucking different than knowing at 14, wanting at 14. Or knowing at 16, wanting at 16.

18+ is fair game. And before I read "What's the difference between 14/16 and 18!?!?!?!" my response is: There had to be a reasonably agreed upon point when a child is considered an adult. We can't let it be subjective for each person. 18 was the agreed upon age. Deal with it.

Now, me, personally...I'd never in a million years want to bed a 19 year old. But to each their own (as long as they're not children).
 
Calcaneus said:
I love how people are shitting on this guy, when he's handling the situation in basically the best way he can. Well, maybe he shouldn't have come to GAF.

He didn't do anything wrong and repeatedly said he would never act on it. He comes here for advice and gets insults instead.
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I don't think they are insulting the OP per se, but more like the people who are defending his right to want to sleep with a 14 year old girl
 
Calcaneus said:
I love how people are shitting on this guy, when he's handling the situation in basically the best way he can. Well, maybe he shouldn't have come to GAF.

He didn't do anything wrong and repeatedly said he would never act on it. He comes here for advice and gets insults instead.
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What I'm saying is the "best" way he could have would have been never to allow himself to develop a serious infatuation with a 14 year old student to begin with.

My advice: STOP. And don't EVER allow yourself to develop a deep sexual infatuation with a child ever again.
 
WTH GAF putting words into my mouth.

I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SLEEP WITH OR HAVE SEX WITH A 14 YEAR OLD.
 
J-Rod said:
I understand this sentiment, but I struggle to understand why it is only brought up in cases like this or why it is applied especially for paedophilia. If someone desires to burn cats with a cigarette lighter, I doubt gaf or the rest of the interwebs would defend those feelings with the same tenacity. Perhaps if it was the only thing that got them off they would?
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I'm not defending the specific kinda of feeling, I'm defending the ability for a person to possess certain thoughts and withhold ability in performing them in a physical sense. On the flip side of what your saying, we commonly hear people talking about wanting to murder somebody, or assault them in various ways, and yet people don't do that, largely because there's a separation between the act and the thought.
As a teacher, he crossed a line ALLOWING himself to develop NOT JUST an attraction, but a deep infatuation. he didn't just go "Oh hey, she's pretty...man in a different world I would totally..." He willingly held onto that attraction for a dangerously long time. Will he be able to stop at the threshold next time? Would you be comfortable with your child being "educated" by a person that allows themselves to do that?
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I understand exactly where your coming from. Yes, there is an "ICK" factor when there is a talk about underage children and overage people, and yes, I do agree that I would feel REALLLLLY uncomfortable knowing that my child is being taught by someone who develops an infatuation with a 14 year old. But this only applies because I know what this particular teacher is thinking. When it comes to the wider world of things, on any given day we relay upon people to partake in actions that are beneficial for us without knowing the persons psychological profile. The fact of the matter is that people think and feel fucked up things all the time, the difference is in out actions.

As far as whether he could continue being a teacher, welp, I'm not defending that at all. I'll leave that up to the OP. I'm just saying that the attraction in and of itself is something that should not condemn him, it should be his actions.

I think we're losing the point of what we're talking about here. He didn't fall in love with some other guy's wife and then suffer depression over it. He fell for a 14 year old girl. Mature or not that's got an 'ik factor' of TEN.

If you're going to use the 'we can't help who we fall in love with' argument then where does it end?

"Dude, i really fucking love my dog. No i mean I REALLY love my dog'
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I'm not a psychologist or neurologist, if somebody can lay down some knowledge that would be awesome, but I'm pretty sure from a scientific basis that we don't really control who or what kind of things attracts us. Then again that might be a incorrect (or perhaps partially incorrect) statement. My point is that there's a difference between loving your dog and, um, the physical act of loving your dog.
 
ThoseDeafMutes said:
Yeah bro, he totally woke up one morning and said "today I'm going to become attracted to a 14 year old". Just like the gays, yeah?
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Did you just compare being gay to paedophilia?

Mammoth Jones said:
Agreed. But I mean, damn...there are a LOT of lines that were crossed to go from "This is my underage student" to where he is.

Many, many inappropriate lines. He should honestly reconsider being a teacher if these feelings ever persist with another student. To prey on someone so young and naive is beyond selfish. He shouldn't allow himself to get anywhere NEAR the vicinity of feeling that way about a child. students look to teachers as a guide, a mentor.

Allowing oneself to be attracted to a child is beyond irresponsible and selfish. If he honestly can't maintain the teacher/student boundary and the adult/child boundary he should SERIOUSLY reconsider teaching children. Seriously.
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As a teacher, he crossed a line ALLOWING himself to develop NOT JUST an attraction, but a deep infatuation. he didn't just go "Oh hey, she's pretty...man in a different world I would totally..." He willingly held onto that attraction for a dangerously long time. Will he be able to stop at the threshold next time? Would you be comfortable with your child being "educated" by a person that allows themselves to do that?
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listen to this man.
 
I too am a horrible monster. I am older than my wife by 2-years and some change.

In all seriousness OP -- this should be you:

nasa00.gif
 
Poindexter said:
SMH at all these people acting like they don't get aroused by Saaya Irie
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No, I don't get aroused by that child face w/ cheek bones choked full of baby fat with the bucked teeth. The fuck is wrong with you? Just cause she has tits, it's ok? Learn some self control, christ.

And yes, I know of the pic because another defender of pedo's try to use it in another thread in OT as "proof" that it's ok. It's not.
 
Mammoth Jones said:
No, I don't get aroused by that child face w/ cheek bones choked full of baby fat with the bucked teeth. The fuck is wrong with you? Just cause she has tits, it's ok? Learn some self control, christ.

And yes, I know of the pic because another defender of pedo's try to use it in another thread in OT as "proof" that it's ok. It's not.
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How about Angie Varona? You're a liar if you say you wouldn't sleep with Angie Varona. A liar. A dirty liar.
 
Mammoth Jones said:
What I'm saying is the "best" way he could have would have been never to allow himself to develop a serious infatuation with a 14 year old student to begin with.

My advice: STOP. And don't EVER allow yourself to develop a deep sexual infatuation with a child ever again.
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He said many times that he tried to suppress those feelings, I don't really see how he's willingly keeping the attraction going.
 
Poindexter said:
How about Angie Varona? You're a liar if you say you wouldn't sleep with Angie Varona. A liar. A dirty liar.
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She looks like she uses reaaaaally much make-up and the focus on her tits are off-putting. I guess she looks mature enough in terms of appearance, but I don´t find her shown attitude that hot.
 
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