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Getting over painful breakups?
- Thread starter Uno Ill Nino
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Patrick Klepek
furiously molesting tim burton
Yeah, I always find that the moment I become seriously interested in another girl, all those feelings for the last one disappear. I'm not one to mope too long; it's not worth it. Life's too short, dammit!
Tommie Hu$tle
Member
You need ot maintain a positive outlook. Women can smell fear, sadness, negativity and all that stuff. Let them know just slightly that you are out of a relationship but don't let on too strong women don't like to feel like the rebound girl.
Tommie Hu$tle
Member
Let me add to my statement by saying this all works after you pick yourself off the floor. Let yourself feel it and go through the motions. But once you decide to pick yourself back up then you go for it full bore. Also when you do be confident. Women can sense lack of confidence as well. Don't fear rejection it's as a matter of fact don't focus on rejection. Focus on success.
A friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend and he did this.
Got drunk, cried and called all his friends.
Next day went and got high, became a stoner.
A week later started searching for a new girl because he can't live without one.
I read all those as don't dos here in the thread and just started laughing.
Got drunk, cried and called all his friends.
Next day went and got high, became a stoner.
A week later started searching for a new girl because he can't live without one.
I read all those as don't dos here in the thread and just started laughing.
Tommie Hu$tle
Member
Boogie said:
Everybody knows to pay their credit card bill on time, fill up their gas tanks, don't leave pets in their cars but people do it anyways. Sometimes it nice to be reminded of some things that are obvious because your mind may not be on it.
Knowing to do something and doing something are two different things.
I feel for you buddy, I imagine it must be one of the hardest things ever, just keep your spirits high and try to take your mind off of it.
I agree with those about certain things, especially about things reminding them about their gfs. It's the same with me, I'm in a relationship of nearly 2 years and much of it was long-distance so it was increasingly hard. Nearly everything tends to remind me of her, certain songs, certain songs playing when we're having a close moment, songs she sings to me, movies we watched together, places we went together, even a country, we made plenty of memories and when I'm far away from her I reminiscize about it and it gets me so sad because I just wanna be with her again. Thankfully though, I'm moving away to another country to be with her, and it's more than worth it.
For the topic at hand, just keep strong, this can happen to anybody and it's now a part of life, I wish you all the best mate.
I agree with those about certain things, especially about things reminding them about their gfs. It's the same with me, I'm in a relationship of nearly 2 years and much of it was long-distance so it was increasingly hard. Nearly everything tends to remind me of her, certain songs, certain songs playing when we're having a close moment, songs she sings to me, movies we watched together, places we went together, even a country, we made plenty of memories and when I'm far away from her I reminiscize about it and it gets me so sad because I just wanna be with her again. Thankfully though, I'm moving away to another country to be with her, and it's more than worth it.
For the topic at hand, just keep strong, this can happen to anybody and it's now a part of life, I wish you all the best mate.
Uno Ill Nino
Banned
Hey thanks to everyone so far. Its nice to come on here and have a laugh about it, y'know? And anyone who doubts Tommie Hustle's advice is a fool. The man is a sage. And Demi, thanks for the offer, but I don't dig on sex with men so I'll pass.
Jill Sandwich
the turds of Optimus Prime
Now you can dress up like a sexy maid and masturbate into a crispy rag!
D
Deleted member 4784
Unconfirmed Member
Koshiba said:
I agree with Koshiba. Rebound relationships are not fair to either of the parties involved and only result in even more hurt feelings all around.
My suggestions:
Drop all contact with the other person. This is usually harder to say than to do.
Drop all association with the person. If you have friends that still hang out with the person, then tell them that you don't want to ever discuss/hear about them.
Get rid of any reminders that you have of the person. Put pictures of them and anything that they have ever given you into a box and store it in your closet somewhere. If you're always reminded of them by seeing their picture on the wall or an object that they gave you while you were together, then it is obviously going to be hard to get over them/stop dwelling on them.
Distract yourself. Go out with friends, rent movies, spend time with family, try to enjoy the things that you always have. If you have spare time on your hands, then you want to fill it up. Try exercising or taking up a second/part time job. Anything.
Tommie Hu$tle
Member
Uno Ill Nino said:Hey thanks to everyone so far. Its nice to come on here and have a laugh about it, y'know? And anyone who doubts Tommie Hustle's advice is a fool. The man is a sage. And Demi, thanks for the offer, but I don't dig on sex with men so I'll pass.
On this we both agree. At the same time this is the same man who flew from all the way up North to Arizona to attend one of my parties so he has seen the fruit of my labor.
Well I usually just listen to music when I need to feel like I need to get over something. It sympathizes with me and knows what I go through sometimes. Maybe you like rap or rock or something, but for me I usually listen to some Atmosphere or Dashboard Confessionals and it makes me feel like they know what im going through. It's good that way I can so relate, anyways here are some lyrics that you might like, and if you like the song its called Dashboard Confessionals - Screaming Infidelities. Its pretty good, I think it symphathizes with your situation.
I'm missing your bed,
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
You're not alone and you're not discreet.
You make sure I know who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again,
There's not a word that I comprehend,
except when you signed it:
"I'll love you always and forever"
Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder,
how you're making out.
But as for me I wish that I was anywhere...
With anyone...
making out.
I'm missing your laugh,
how did it break?
And when did your eyes
begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as your pretending
I'm cuddling close to blanket and sheets
I am alone in my defeat
I wish I knew you were safely at home
I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.
And this bottle of Beast is taking me home.
Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder...
how you're making out.
But as for me I wish that I was anywhere...
With anyone...
making out
Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
And taking its wear.
Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
And taking its wear.
Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
And taking its wear.
Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
And taking its wear.
I'm missing your bed,
I never sleep
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak
And this bottle of beast is taking me home.
I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
You're not alone and you're not discreet.
You make sure I know who's taking you home.
I'm reading your note over again,
There's not a word that I comprehend,
except when you signed it:
"I'll love you always and forever"
Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder,
how you're making out.
But as for me I wish that I was anywhere...
With anyone...
making out.
I'm missing your laugh,
how did it break?
And when did your eyes
begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as your pretending
I'm cuddling close to blanket and sheets
I am alone in my defeat
I wish I knew you were safely at home
I'm missing your bed, I never sleep.
Avoiding the spots where we'd have to speak.
And this bottle of Beast is taking me home.
Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,
and sit alone and wonder...
how you're making out.
But as for me I wish that I was anywhere...
With anyone...
making out
Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
And taking its wear.
Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
And taking its wear.
Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
And taking its wear.
Your hair.
It's everywhere.
Screaming infidelities.
And taking its wear.
A friend of mine just got dumped by a girl he was going out with for a long time (don't know how long exactly) and he started smoking and drinks a lot more. Saw him the other day at a party and he looked like shit.
On that note, I suggest you go out and buy a box of kleenex and
and listen to it over and over until you fall asleep from crying.
When you come to, you'll be better
On that note, I suggest you go out and buy a box of kleenex and
and listen to it over and over until you fall asleep from crying.
When you come to, you'll be better
ToyMachine228
Member
The best thing to do is focus on other things. Do stuff with your friends, play videogames, whatever. Just do stuff, and don't sulk around about it. I've had the same girlfriend for like 5 years, and there were a couple times we broke up, and believe me, we were both hurt. We'd be on the phone, both crying and stuff, it wasn't fun times.
But if you want her back, one of the things that works best is making her jealous. It's tough to put yourself around other women to make her jealous but hey, if you want her back, then you'll do it. And maybe one of the girls that your hanging out with will actually turn out to be cool, and you'll find out that she's better than your old one. You never know.
But if you want her back, one of the things that works best is making her jealous. It's tough to put yourself around other women to make her jealous but hey, if you want her back, then you'll do it. And maybe one of the girls that your hanging out with will actually turn out to be cool, and you'll find out that she's better than your old one. You never know.
People are absolutely right when they say to distract yourself and do things. I know that when I had my break up, I'd get bored and have nothing to do so I'd end up thinking about him. :lol Not cool. As for revenge.. I think it's kinda silly when people go out of their way like that to make people jealous. Imo and in my experience, the best "revenge" is to just live well and be happy.
The_Sorrow said:
Agree 100%. It totally fucks with your head. My girlfriend of 2 years just dumped me a week ago, telling me that she found someone else and she doesn't want to deal with my moodiness anymore. After the initial shock and denial, I now find myself spending about 90% of the day thinking about past situations where I may have come across as moody, and thinking "what if i did that differently?" or "why did i act that way?" It just absolutely consumes you.
AlphaSnake
...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
What a great thread. I saw my ex-girlfriend, first girlfriend and first/only love yesterday night and the feelings came back at me like a ton of bricks. It was the first time I'd seen her in a year and a half. Probably the 4th-5th time I seen her since we broke up 3 years ago. =(
this happened to me recently. the whole 'date/fuck another girl ASAP' only masks the pain. what you need to do is take the path that'll make yourself a stronger, less dependent person in the future. myself i became near-OCD with regards to the gym - i've been going six times a week for the last two months, losing 12 pounds and getting pretty cut in the process. meanwhile my ex is dating a (reformed) homosexual two years her junior and someone her parents and family would never approve of. don't ask.Uno Ill Nino said:
you have to take all that anger and pain and put it towards something to better yourself, not falling into some uncontrolable tailspin. that way, once you're at that point that you want to be with someone else, you're physically and mentally more committed to the task.
The_Sorrow
Banned
joe250 said:
It is horrible. But its cool knowing that I'm not the only one who has gone through this.
It's been about 13 months since our breakup and I still think about her at least once a day. I know I'll find someone else though.... someday.
yeah, i saw my last ex the other night (as my friends picked her up from her new boyfriend's house no less) and it was somewhat painful. i'm actually shocked that it didn't punch me in the gut even more, but whatever. had a rather bad nightmare involving her last night on top of it all.AlphaSnake said:
Time to ressurect this thread.
My girlfriend just broke it off with me yesterday, of course no situation is simple. It raelly boils down to the earlier post with the 3 ways a relationship can go after 2.5 years. She took the path of no giddyness and not thinking that is alright. I took the path of not just accepting, but loving the comfortable nature of our relationship without the constant butterflies. This has left me in one shit of a position.
Of course it gets better, we live in a apartment together. And dont go saying "move our right away." It isn't that simple, with a signed year lease in college, no where else to go, and no one to fill an open spot. Basically we have to live together. I know it can make it harder, but I dont want to lose her out of my life completely. So for the time being it becomes a balance between not being with her but not losing her compeletely.
Also, this is our first time being apart like this in 2.5 years. I dont want to hold out hope, but it is my first major relationship, and her second (she also went pretty quickly between her last relationship and me). So, at this point I dont know if she and I will go out there, see what the dating life is like, and if it sucks, come back to eachother. I am a pussy, and I love her to death, and I'd give up the dating life for her....so I'd take her back...
Now I am sitting watching the entire series of Firefly and asking when I am going to have an appetite again, and what to do now...
We dated since highschool, and I have never dated in college. I feel weirder than I did coming in my freshman year, I dont know what to do...
My girlfriend just broke it off with me yesterday, of course no situation is simple. It raelly boils down to the earlier post with the 3 ways a relationship can go after 2.5 years. She took the path of no giddyness and not thinking that is alright. I took the path of not just accepting, but loving the comfortable nature of our relationship without the constant butterflies. This has left me in one shit of a position.
Of course it gets better, we live in a apartment together. And dont go saying "move our right away." It isn't that simple, with a signed year lease in college, no where else to go, and no one to fill an open spot. Basically we have to live together. I know it can make it harder, but I dont want to lose her out of my life completely. So for the time being it becomes a balance between not being with her but not losing her compeletely.
Also, this is our first time being apart like this in 2.5 years. I dont want to hold out hope, but it is my first major relationship, and her second (she also went pretty quickly between her last relationship and me). So, at this point I dont know if she and I will go out there, see what the dating life is like, and if it sucks, come back to eachother. I am a pussy, and I love her to death, and I'd give up the dating life for her....so I'd take her back...
Now I am sitting watching the entire series of Firefly and asking when I am going to have an appetite again, and what to do now...
We dated since highschool, and I have never dated in college. I feel weirder than I did coming in my freshman year, I dont know what to do...
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
I've been in a similar situation bro.
Luckily for me I had enough money to break our lease. Cost me over $3000 but it was worth it.
3 things help:
1) Self Improvement - I started working out a lot.. bought some new clothes... got rid of some bad habits, became more organized, etc. After breaking up with my ex I'm now in the best shape of my life and everything is going smoothly for me. Self improvement makes it much easier to be alone.
2) Find someone else - I think the self improvement thing helps this a lot.. a bad breakup can really kill your self esteem, which makes it hard to find someone else. Improve yourself, try to get that "glow" of confidence about you and it will be easy to find someone else. And DON'T COMPROMISE... analyze what was wrong with your last relationship.. you might have been comfortable, but what could've been better. You are young, but getting older. Start being more picky, find someone with a more compatable personality.
3) Time - Although time only really helps if you do the above 2 time can heal.. it can also hurt you.. I know people who haven't recovered from a bad breakup YEARS later and I think it has effected them psychologically.
Good luck.
Luckily for me I had enough money to break our lease. Cost me over $3000 but it was worth it.
3 things help:
1) Self Improvement - I started working out a lot.. bought some new clothes... got rid of some bad habits, became more organized, etc. After breaking up with my ex I'm now in the best shape of my life and everything is going smoothly for me. Self improvement makes it much easier to be alone.
2) Find someone else - I think the self improvement thing helps this a lot.. a bad breakup can really kill your self esteem, which makes it hard to find someone else. Improve yourself, try to get that "glow" of confidence about you and it will be easy to find someone else. And DON'T COMPROMISE... analyze what was wrong with your last relationship.. you might have been comfortable, but what could've been better. You are young, but getting older. Start being more picky, find someone with a more compatable personality.
3) Time - Although time only really helps if you do the above 2 time can heal.. it can also hurt you.. I know people who haven't recovered from a bad breakup YEARS later and I think it has effected them psychologically.
Good luck.
Mike: How did you get over it, I mean how long did it take you?
Rob: I don't know, sometimes it still hurts. You know man, it's like you wake up every day and it hurts a little less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And it's like, and this might sound a little weird, but it's like you almost miss that pain.
Mike: You miss the pain?
Rob: Yeah. For the same reason you miss herÂ… because you lived with it for so long.
Rob: I don't know, sometimes it still hurts. You know man, it's like you wake up every day and it hurts a little less, and then you wake up one day and it doesn't hurt at all. And it's like, and this might sound a little weird, but it's like you almost miss that pain.
Mike: You miss the pain?
Rob: Yeah. For the same reason you miss herÂ… because you lived with it for so long.
Might as well vent here too with everyone else.
Dated this girl around 6 months and she broke it off because "we are better friends." I knew her for about 6 months before and we did some stuff when she was dating another guy (it was fun being the homewrecker) and I finally got her to jump ship.
The main problem is we're still best friends and we hang out every day and practically live together (she's in the apt below me) and about every month we do something sexual together (but she makes sure we never ever kiss while doing so, which really just sucks)... and I don't have many other friends and it's just a cycle and blah. I compare every girl to her and "eh" is all I can say when I talk/meet anyone else.
Just venting.
Dated this girl around 6 months and she broke it off because "we are better friends." I knew her for about 6 months before and we did some stuff when she was dating another guy (it was fun being the homewrecker) and I finally got her to jump ship.
The main problem is we're still best friends and we hang out every day and practically live together (she's in the apt below me) and about every month we do something sexual together (but she makes sure we never ever kiss while doing so, which really just sucks)... and I don't have many other friends and it's just a cycle and blah. I compare every girl to her and "eh" is all I can say when I talk/meet anyone else.
Just venting.
I wish you guys the best, I can imagine what it feels like in your position and in the end. I'll say a bit about my relationship, originally I really didn't think much of our relationship, in the beginning but as time went on, it's gone more and more deeper and now it's like I can't live my life without her, it's such a complicated subject. As a result of this, I get really paranoid and when say for instance, she's friends with some one, I get really paranoid and jealous and I can't help myself. I think it's a bit of a problem. I always think of the worst-case scenario so in essence I can imagine what you guys feel and you're so brave for going through it.
Also, it sometimes seems that I could have done things better, much better and it hit me in the face, but I didn't realise at the time, I could have done so many things better. But I've learnt from my mistakes, and I got something planned now.
Also, it sometimes seems that I could have done things better, much better and it hit me in the face, but I didn't realise at the time, I could have done so many things better. But I've learnt from my mistakes, and I got something planned now.
lachesis
Member
Well, most of us have been that situation, I guess...
Here's my advice.
1. Do not dwell on the sad, sappy mood forever.
2. Sooner the better, make yourself presentable.
3. Take yourself off the thoughts and focus on work, and your hobbies.
4. Hang out often with guy friends. Do some crazy shit.
5. Most importantly, give yourself some time. Not to chew over the relationship, but not thinking of her, living normally, breathing normally. Time will "heal" - some people totally forget in time, but someone like me, they still hurt - if it wasn't anything like "fling" but more of serious relationship. However, you will learn to get by.
good luck
lachesis
Here's my advice.
1. Do not dwell on the sad, sappy mood forever.
2. Sooner the better, make yourself presentable.
3. Take yourself off the thoughts and focus on work, and your hobbies.
4. Hang out often with guy friends. Do some crazy shit.
5. Most importantly, give yourself some time. Not to chew over the relationship, but not thinking of her, living normally, breathing normally. Time will "heal" - some people totally forget in time, but someone like me, they still hurt - if it wasn't anything like "fling" but more of serious relationship. However, you will learn to get by.
good luck
lachesis
psycho_snake
I went to WAGs boutique and all I got was a sniff
Ive never had to cope with any painful break-ups. Im still in my one successful relationship thats nearly lasted years. My other relationships are from younger years in secondary school where girls break up with you after a week because 'you dont call enough' :lol
Your guy's all seem so final. Ours seems different or am I just reading it wrong.
She has basically said that she wants to explore her emotions and see waht else is out there. She hasn't said she would never get back together with me, so am I holding out false hope? Many of my friends say that this relationship (in whatever form it may still be in) is not over yet. I think they mean that some force still has a card to play, but I am inclined to believe them. So am I holding out hope for nothing in that sense (though it isn't the only thing I can hold to anymore)???
I definately dont want this to be the end of she and i no matter the form.
She has basically said that she wants to explore her emotions and see waht else is out there. She hasn't said she would never get back together with me, so am I holding out false hope? Many of my friends say that this relationship (in whatever form it may still be in) is not over yet. I think they mean that some force still has a card to play, but I am inclined to believe them. So am I holding out hope for nothing in that sense (though it isn't the only thing I can hold to anymore)???
I definately dont want this to be the end of she and i no matter the form.
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
Then go on a date with someone else.
Or even go as low as pretending another female is interested in you.
She'll come right back to you.
Or even go as low as pretending another female is interested in you.
She'll come right back to you.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
shpankey said:
And you will call her leaving a whiny voicemail singing, "Baby Come back".
nVidiot_Whore
Banned
pxleyes said:
Women are simpler than you think.
I've been in the EXACT same situation as you a few times.
"I just need a change, need to see what else is out there, etc."
1 week later.. "Yeah, I was at this club and this girl was hitting on me and..." "COME BACK TO ME BABY!!!"
My most recent breakup was pretty bad.. girl shit all over me then left me said she needed independance, etc... I talked to her recently and told her I was dating someone else and she was practically begging for me back.. she even called my Mom to apolgize for treating me poorly.
It's not foolproof, but seriously.. ANY TIME a girl's interest in me has wavered in the slightest a bit of competition/jealousy thrown into the mix has fixed that problem right up.
ScientificNinja
Member
Well, here's my $0.02
1. Stop dwelling on things that you have no control over. You're wasting your time and life's too short. Cut her out of your mind. Chuck out all her stuff, burn all her photos, get rid of all the little things about her that remind you of her. It'll be hard to let go of this stuff, but at the end of the day it's just 'stuff'. You'd be shocked at how much crap you've got when you start taking stock of how much of it you've got. Just throw the lot in a big garbage bag and be rid of it. You're starting on a clean, fresh slate. This isn't to say you should forget about her, but trust me, it WILL help you a lot in moving on.
2. Learn to enjoy your life again. Enjoy it on her terms, not yours. Rewatch all the old movies you love, learn to feel like a kid again. Feel good about yourself. Cry when Optimus Prime dies. Cheer when Robocop cuts out Clarence Boddicker's throat. Laugh out loud when Indiana Jones shoots the scimitar man. Feel righteous. Feel entitled. Then maybe, if you're up to it, relive the 'shared' movies and enjoy them on your terms. Relive the last 2.5 years the way it SHOULD have been lived.
3. Get off this fucking forum and go outside. Breathe the free air. Run like the wind. Watch a sunrise. Rediscover the beauty of the world. Take up photography, or knitting, or a sport. Join a gym. Go to extra-curricular classes. Meet new people. Get a fresh perspective. Stop giving so much of a shit about everything. Re-prioritize. Discover that life is not, in fact, as dull as you thought it'd be without her.
1. Stop dwelling on things that you have no control over. You're wasting your time and life's too short. Cut her out of your mind. Chuck out all her stuff, burn all her photos, get rid of all the little things about her that remind you of her. It'll be hard to let go of this stuff, but at the end of the day it's just 'stuff'. You'd be shocked at how much crap you've got when you start taking stock of how much of it you've got. Just throw the lot in a big garbage bag and be rid of it. You're starting on a clean, fresh slate. This isn't to say you should forget about her, but trust me, it WILL help you a lot in moving on.
2. Learn to enjoy your life again. Enjoy it on her terms, not yours. Rewatch all the old movies you love, learn to feel like a kid again. Feel good about yourself. Cry when Optimus Prime dies. Cheer when Robocop cuts out Clarence Boddicker's throat. Laugh out loud when Indiana Jones shoots the scimitar man. Feel righteous. Feel entitled. Then maybe, if you're up to it, relive the 'shared' movies and enjoy them on your terms. Relive the last 2.5 years the way it SHOULD have been lived.
3. Get off this fucking forum and go outside. Breathe the free air. Run like the wind. Watch a sunrise. Rediscover the beauty of the world. Take up photography, or knitting, or a sport. Join a gym. Go to extra-curricular classes. Meet new people. Get a fresh perspective. Stop giving so much of a shit about everything. Re-prioritize. Discover that life is not, in fact, as dull as you thought it'd be without her.
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