Girl pours water on boy after he publicly expresses his love for her

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I dunno, I think on one hand it's kind of sweet, I mean someone just went to all the effort of planning to put together that display for one person and I'm sure it took a lot of time and effort...

But it's the kind of thing you do in a private hotel room, then it's all cute and romantic ect. when it's in public that's kind of a bit on the spot, hate it when people do public proposals. It's like saying "I'M NOT CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO FACE THIS ALONE AND KNOW THAT HAVING A CROWD WILL LIKELY MAKE YOU SAY YES"

So on one hand feel sorry for the guy, but you have to ask what he did before the candles to get such a response from the girl.
 
Count Dookkake said:
We are talking about a specific event. His move was lame/creepy/sad. If you do not agree to some degree, then I suspect your socialization.

She does not have to coddle him or be concerned about him. She need not hide nor temper her annoyance or revulsion.

He is the asshole. The asshole does not get the luxury of choosing how it gets dealt with.

EDIT: Think of it this way. He was the inciting actor in the scenario. As such, he certainly had more time to think of how he should best treat her, than did she of him. Whatever charity you extend to candle lad, at least that much should be extended to her.
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I do agree that his move was lame and sad. There is not enough information about their history to know whether it is creepy, and that's where you go off the rails. Not only that, but yes, you do have a choice to react to this *kind* of creepy (which is really just poorly socialized romantic interest) with boundary setting first, and someone with a cooler head and more compassion would try doing that verbally before throwing buckets at people. If I go home tonight and some girl I barely know is waiting for me with a candle display, I am not going to throw things at her, because I am not an asshole. The girl in the OP's story obviously is. It's okay to say it. You can still be a feminist and say it, even.
 
terrene said:
I do agree that his move was lame and sad. There is not enough information about their history to know whether it is creepy, and that's where you go off the rails. Not only that, but yes, you do have a choice to react to this *kind* of creepy (which is really just poorly socialized romantic interest) with boundary setting first, and someone with a cooler head and more compassion would try doing that verbally before throwing buckets at people. If I go home tonight and some girl I barely know is waiting for me with a candle display, I am not going to throw things at her, because I am not an asshole. The girl in the OP's story obviously is. It's okay to say it. You can still be a feminist and say it, even.
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History is irrelevant. This one incident is enough to establish a case for creepy.

I made no claim regarding choice to react, so blah blah blah.

Comments about cooler heads and compassion are irrelevant because the woman has no obligation to run a charm school for misfits.

I don't care how you would react in this scenario as it doesn't change the facts of the case.

Why do you keep bringing up feminism? It appears you think it is some trump card. Trouble is, my take on this incident has no basis in gender, so lol. A creepy loser is a creepy loser. A shaming response is a shaming response. Perhaps you will one day understand feminism and realize how dumb what you just said was.

jediyoshi said:
Should've tazed him tbh
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Lol.

In case you are not joking, I previously limited acceptable reactions to legal ones.
 
Count Dookkake said:
History is irrelevant. This one incident is enough to establish a case for creepy.

I made no claim regarding choice to react, so blah blah blah.

Comments about cooler heads and compassion are irrelevant because the woman has no obligation to run a charm school for misfits.

I don't care how you would react in this scenario as it doesn't change the facts of the case.

Why do you keep bringing up feminism? It appears you think it is some trump card. Trouble is, my take on this incident has no basis in gender, so lol. A creepy loser is a creepy loser. A shaming response is a shaming response. Perhaps you will one day understand feminism and realize how dumb what you just said was.
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Drink to this shit
 
Style Fox said:
If someone did this to me I wouldn't throw anything at them unless there was past instances and verbal responses were not being understood.
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Data_%28Star_Trek%29.png
 
I knew before clicking on the thread that Dookake would get a boner over this.
 
TAJ said:
I knew before clicking on the thread that Dookake would get a boner over this.
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This being the story or this being having to re-educate the sad GAFfers who unfortunately find an avatar in the candle kid?

As one who hopes to better the lives of the young dudes who live in fear (and of the women they creep on), both make for a safe bet.

Young dudes, Candle Lad is not you. You don't have to go out like him. This woman is not your enemy, nor will you get doused for an acceptable expression of interest in a woman.
 
He could have used that moment for something even greater than originally anticipated, instead of crumpling into wet paper. After getting water poured on him he should have immediately ripped his shirt off and started flexing at the crowd while screaming, paying zero attention to the girl or her friends.

"Look at my muscles, you fucks! Look at my body!"

As the girl and her friends scuttled away, he would then point to the sky, his arm trembling with the electricity of his most perfect conviction.

"The strength of this moment comes not from within, but from the ultimate power that allows the strength to come from within. The sea, the air, the wind, the ecosystem. Every part is bustling with immense stores of pure energy. The world around us can give us what we need, but only to those with that have truth in their hearts, and the humility to ask. The spirit of the earth and the strength of the heavens can charge our bodies. Onwards we go with pure hearts, onwards towards our ultimate destiny!"

Then he would emit a scream loud enough to visibly distort the air...

"This is what raw power feels like!"

If only he'd done that he could have changed the world.
 
Also, if you just know someone, don't call the guy/girl "babe/sexy/handsome/beautiful/cutie". It's gag-worthy and kind of creepy. We barely know each other so why are you using terms of endearment like you know me well?
 
Timedog said:
He could have used that moment for something even greater than originally anticipated, instead of crumpling into wet paper. After getting water poured on him he should have immediately ripped his shirt off and started flexing at the crowd while screaming, paying zero attention to the girl or her friends.

"Look at my muscles, you fucks! Look at my body!"

As the girl and her friends scuttled away, he would then point to the sky, his arm trembling with the electricity of his most perfect conviction.

"The strength of this moment comes not from within, but from the ultimate power that allows the strength to come from within. The sea, the air, the wind, the ecosystem. Every part is bustling with immense stores of pure energy. The world around us can give us what we need, but only to those with that have truth in their hearts, and the humility to ask. The spirit of the earth and the strength of the heavens can charge our bodies. Onwards we go with pure hearts, onwards towards our ultimate destiny!"

Then he would emit a scream loud enough to visibly distort the air...

"This is what raw power feels like!"

If only he'd done that he could have changed the world.
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Yes.
 
Count Dookkake said:
History is irrelevant. This one incident is enough to establish a case for creepy.
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Snap judgements are cool, but what if they have actually been on a date, and he thought he was just expressing excitement? What if they were actually in a relationship? There are no details given in the story. Are you sure you have any idea what you're talking about, like at all?

I made no claim regarding choice to react, so blah blah blah.
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I don't care what you made claims about. Making a choice to react a certain way is the actual topic at hand. Welcome to the discussion.

Comments about cooler heads and compassion are irrelevant because the woman has no obligation to run a charm school for misfits.
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Because that is what I was proposing and being nice is the same as running a charm school for misfits? It surely required a lot more effort to get a basin full of water, dump it on him, and throw the basin *at him* than to just walk off without saying anything. This is not some kind of Stand Your Ground bullshit where "feeling creeped out" is a license to abuse people.

I don't care how you would react in this scenario as it doesn't change the facts of the case.
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You don't care about the facts of the case either, since "history is irrelevant." That aside, there is more to discuss than just the "facts," such as the implications of those facts -- like the ones you have discussed (unless people are opening actual charm schools for misfits because of this), and even if there wasn't, "other reactions are possible" is a fact of the case.

Why do you keep bringing up feminism? It appears you think it is some trump card. Trouble is, my take on this incident has no basis in gender, so lol. A creepy loser is a creepy loser. A shaming response is a shaming response. Perhaps you will one day understand feminism and realize how dumb what you just said was.
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You have little to tell me about feminism, thanks. The reason I mention white knighting is that I really doubt you'd be reacting the same way if you were reading a story about me throwing a water basin at a woman who told me she loved me. I could be wrong (no, I don't view this as a 'trump card,' I'm just voicing a suspicion I have) but I don't think it's dumb to suspect white knighting in the case of GAFfers literally saying "her hand was forced" when that is just not true. They might think they are being feminists defending the right of a girl to do this shit. But in reality, white knighting is classic Nice Guy behavior, and not only that, but it being okay to physically abuse a male, when that does not go for women, is problematic at best, and patriarchal at worst. It is not okay to physically abuse anybody. It is not okay to humiliate anybody. Feeling embarrassed or awkward isn't an excuse for physical violence in a domestic abuse case or here. This was not an act of self-defense, it was humiliation-seeking revenge for making her feel awkward and put on the spot. I don't care if you disagree; I've heard what you had to say about it, and found it wanting in all respects.
 
terrene said:
Snap judgements are cool, but what if they have actually been on a date, and he thought he was just expressing excitement? What if they were actually in a relationship? There are no details given in the story. Are you sure you have any idea what you're talking about, like at all?
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You can play what-if if you are so inclined. I am fine with my read that requires fewer assumptions. Tends to work out in the long run.

I don't care what you made claims about. Making a choice to react a certain way is the actual topic at hand. Welcome to the discussion.
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That's great for you, but of no interest to me. I tend not to read that which is not in relation to my comments, as I am not here for lectures or interrogations. I am free to focus on that which interests me and to ignore that which does not.

Because that is what I was proposing and being nice is the same as running a charm school for misfits? It surely required a lot more effort to get a basin full of water, dump it on him, and throw the basin *at him* than to just walk off without saying anything. This is not some kind of Stand Your Ground bullshit where "feeling creeped out" is a license to abuse people.
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Exaggeration for comedic effect. Cry more. In no-fun speech "she has no obligation to fix his social maladaption."

Comment about effort is irrelevant.

You don't care about the facts of the case either, since "history is irrelevant." That aside, there is more to discuss than just the "facts," such as the implications of those facts -- like the ones you have discussed (unless people are opening actual charm schools for misfits because of this), and even if there wasn't, "other reactions are possible" is a fact of the case.

You have little to tell me about feminism, thanks. The reason I mention white knighting is that I really doubt you'd be reacting the same way if you were reading a story about me throwing a water basin at a woman who told me she loved me. I could be wrong (no, I don't view this as a 'trump card,' I'm just voicing a suspicion I have) but I don't think it's dumb to suspect white knighting in the case of GAFfers literally saying "her hand was forced" when that is just not true. They might think they are being feminists defending the right of a girl to do this shit. But in reality, white knighting is classic Nice Guy behavior, and not only that, but it being okay to physically abuse a male, when that does not go for women, is problematic at best, and patriarchal at worst. It is not okay to physically abuse anybody. It is not okay to humiliate anybody. Feeling embarrassed or awkward isn't an excuse for physical violence in a domestic abuse case or here. This was not an act of self-defense, it was humiliation-seeking revenge for making her feel awkward and put on the spot. I don't care if you disagree; I've heard what you had to say about it, and found it wanting in all
respects.
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This is a bunch of nonsense and unrelated concepts based on your prior misconceptions about the story, my specific comments, and hypothetical behavior in hypothetical threads.

Put simply, lol no.

I probably won't be reading anything else you have to say on the matter, but good luck!
 
Devolution said:
I don't think so. This seems to be something people love to think as some sort of excuse for their own failure.
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It is fairly well documented that human beings, in general, have a bias towards attractive individuals and attribute to them positive traits they don't necessarily possess.
 
KidGalactus said:
It is fairly well documented that human beings, in general, have a bias towards attractive individuals and attribute to them positive traits they don't necessarily possess.
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Look. We all know attractive people have a lead in life, but constantly decrying how attractive men get away with x just screams insecurity and making excuses.
 
terrene said:
Snap judgements are cool, but what if they have actually been on a date, and he thought he was just expressing excitement? What if they were actually in a relationship? There are no details given in the story. Are you sure you have any idea what you're talking about, like at all?

I don't care what you made claims about. Making a choice to react a certain way is the actual topic at hand. Welcome to the discussion.

Because that is what I was proposing and being nice is the same as running a charm school for misfits? It surely required a lot more effort to get a basin full of water, dump it on him, and throw the basin *at him* than to just walk off without saying anything. This is not some kind of Stand Your Ground bullshit where "feeling creeped out" is a license to abuse people.

You don't care about the facts of the case either, since "history is irrelevant." That aside, there is more to discuss than just the "facts," such as the implications of those facts -- like the ones you have discussed (unless people are opening actual charm schools for misfits because of this), and even if there wasn't, "other reactions are possible" is a fact of the case.

You have little to tell me about feminism, thanks. The reason I mention white knighting is that I really doubt you'd be reacting the same way if you were reading a story about me throwing a water basin at a woman who told me she loved me. I could be wrong (no, I don't view this as a 'trump card,' I'm just voicing a suspicion I have) but I don't think it's dumb to suspect white knighting in the case of GAFfers literally saying "her hand was forced" when that is just not true. They might think they are being feminists defending the right of a girl to do this shit. But in reality, white knighting is classic Nice Guy behavior, and not only that, but it being okay to physically abuse a male, when that does not go for women, is problematic at best, and patriarchal at worst. It is not okay to physically abuse anybody. It is not okay to humiliate anybody. Feeling embarrassed or awkward isn't an excuse for physical violence in a domestic abuse case or here. This was not an act of self-defense, it was humiliation-seeking revenge for making her feel awkward and put on the spot. I don't care if you disagree; I've heard what you had to say about it, and found it wanting in all respects.
Click to expand...


dhMeAzK.gif
 
terrene said:
Snap judgements are cool, but what if they have actually been on a date, and he thought he was just expressing excitement? What if they were actually in a relationship? There are no details given in the story. Are you sure you have any idea what you're talking about, like at all?

I don't care what you made claims about. Making a choice to react a certain way is the actual topic at hand. Welcome to the discussion.

Because that is what I was proposing and being nice is the same as running a charm school for misfits? It surely required a lot more effort to get a basin full of water, dump it on him, and throw the basin *at him* than to just walk off without saying anything. This is not some kind of Stand Your Ground bullshit where "feeling creeped out" is a license to abuse people.

You don't care about the facts of the case either, since "history is irrelevant." That aside, there is more to discuss than just the "facts," such as the implications of those facts -- like the ones you have discussed (unless people are opening actual charm schools for misfits because of this), and even if there wasn't, "other reactions are possible" is a fact of the case.

You have little to tell me about feminism, thanks. The reason I mention white knighting is that I really doubt you'd be reacting the same way if you were reading a story about me throwing a water basin at a woman who told me she loved me. I could be wrong (no, I don't view this as a 'trump card,' I'm just voicing a suspicion I have) but I don't think it's dumb to suspect white knighting in the case of GAFfers literally saying "her hand was forced" when that is just not true. They might think they are being feminists defending the right of a girl to do this shit. But in reality, white knighting is classic Nice Guy behavior, and not only that, but it being okay to physically abuse a male, when that does not go for women, is problematic at best, and patriarchal at worst. It is not okay to physically abuse anybody. It is not okay to humiliate anybody. Feeling embarrassed or awkward isn't an excuse for physical violence in a domestic abuse case or here. This was not an act of self-defense, it was humiliation-seeking revenge for making her feel awkward and put on the spot. I don't care if you disagree; I've heard what you had to say about it, and found it wanting in all respects.
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bang on.
 
Well deserved. Every guy should see this and be discouraged from doing something similar. Not only its it corny as shit but it's unfair to put a girl on the spot like that in front of lots off people. Real life is not like a sitcom!
 
akachan ningen said:
Well deserved. Every guy should see this and be discouraged from doing something similar. Not only its it corny as shit but it's unfair to put a girl on the spot like that in front of lots off people. Real life is not like a sitcom!
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http://www.cracked.com/article_19285_5-romantic-movie-gestures-that-were-actually-dick-moves.html

http://www.cracked.com/article/215_6-romantic-gestures-that-backfired-horrifically/

http://www.cracked.com/article_18756_6-romantic-movie-gestures-that-can-get-you-prison-time.html

He should probably be forwarded articles like these.
 
Devolution said:
How was that correcting my statement? Every time we have a thread like this there are constant assumptions that if the subject was more attractive this would have gone well.
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Well there's only one way to find out. We needs GAFs best looking men to start going around writing sonnets, kissing foreheads, and lighting candles.
 
The girl and her friends then responded by...
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Note to GAF: WINGMEN

You need wingmen to draw the girl's defenders away. It's a fact that "alone time" is a better time to pose sensitive questions than while she has a bunch of friends around judging you and judging her for how she responds to you (unless you're trying some crazy Hail Mary play, and want to get the audience on your side). And if/when she says "No", it's better to get a slap in the face than it is to get curbstomped by an angry mob.
 
Whatever the truth behind this, I am perfectly willing to bet that many people would find the guy as the "victim" and even more, "sweetly romantic."

After this story go public I foresee his chances of getting a romantic partner improving tenfold. Just hopefully he doesn't do anything like this anymore now he's learned the lesson... in a brutal kind of way, hahaha.
 
Laughing Banana said:
Whatever the truth behind this, I am perfectly willing to bet that many people would find the guy as the "victim" and even more, "sweetly romantic."

After this story go public I foresee his chances of getting a romantic partner improving tenfold. Just hopefully he doesn't do anything like this anymore now he's learned the lesson... in a brutal kind of way, hahaha.
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He'll get sympathy, sure. It'll never be anything but that though.

But the people that like these amazingly obnoxious and grandiose gestures are extremely few and far between. I know romcoms are easy money, but this sort of thing should not be encouraged. Its not sweet. Its selfish as hell. And its rarely completely out of nowhere too.

Why encourage this sort of thing instead of learning social skills?
 
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