Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
hey gurl
I cant help but just watch this gif over and over. What is it from?
hey gurl
I cant help but just watch this gif over and over. What is it from?
hey gurl
hey
So I got oddly curious about this 'fifty shades of grey' thing everyone is talking about nowadays and against my better judgement decided to take a peak. Don't make the same mistake as me. I got about two chapters in and gave up, it was so poorly written I felt simultaneously bored and dirty reading it. Had a bit of a flip through the rest and it appears to be a book about (spoilered in case anyone wants to read it)There is a way to do erotic novels... but jeez, this was so not it. At least, not for mean average (virgin) uni student who falls for a sexy billionaire CEO who 'couldn't possibly be 30 yet'. yawn. Oh, and then becomes involved in a bondage relationship with him, and he lavishes her with compliments and clothes.
Oh dear, that sounds dreadful.So I got oddly curious about this 'fifty shades of grey' thing everyone is talking about nowadays and against my better judgement decided to take a peak. Don't make the same mistake as me. I got about two chapters in and gave up, it was so poorly written I felt simultaneously bored and dirty reading it. Had a bit of a flip through the rest and it appears to be a book about (spoilered in case anyone wants to read it)There is a way to do erotic novels... but jeez, this was so not it. At least, not for mean average (virgin) uni student who falls for a sexy billionaire CEO who 'couldn't possibly be 30 yet'. yawn. Oh, and then becomes involved in a bondage relationship with him, and he lavishes her with compliments and clothes.
Oh dear, that sounds dreadful.
It's a reskinned Twilight fanfic.
Which again begs the question of how this even got published in the first place.
That last one is really not sexy. Also, somewhat implausible. Unless it's supposed to be two tectonic plates going at it, then maybe I'd believe it.
Faster, harder, faster, harder. The land began to shake. Just faintly at first, like a mild constant tremor, like the edge of a far distant earthquake. France trembled in its sedimentary basin. A glacier rattled on the Arctic plain. The ground quivered. Panama creaked and shuttered. Iceland hopped and moved. Russia's taiga zone hammered against the Ural Mountains. Europe shook hard. The coastlines boomed. Treasure laden sunken ships in the Marianas Trench tinkled.
Faster, harder, faster, harder. The land began to shake. Just faintly at first, like a mild constant tremor, like the edge of a far distant earthquake. France trembled in its sedimentary basin. A glacier rattled on the Arctic plain. The ground quivered. Panama creaked and shuttered. Iceland hopped and moved. Russia's taiga zone hammered against the Ural Mountains. Europe shook hard. The coastlines boomed. Treasure laden sunken ships in the Marianas Trench tinkled.
I can't believe I've been missing this topic.
Hi ladies!
*fans self* It's getting quite hot in here.Faster, harder, faster, harder. The land began to shake. Just faintly at first, like a mild constant tremor, like the edge of a far distant earthquake. France trembled in its sedimentary basin. A glacier rattled on the Arctic plain. The ground quivered. Panama creaked and shuttered. Iceland hopped and moved. Russia's taiga zone hammered against the Ural Mountains. Europe shook hard. The coastlines boomed. Treasure laden sunken ships in the Marianas Trench tinkled.
*fans self* It's getting quite hot in here.
What kind of idea are we gonna give lurkers if they open this thread and see us all getting horny for hot continent on continent action.
Hello H.Protagonist, you're quite good at turning me on.
Bow-chika-wa-wa?
Badly written sex in fiction is hard to read in full, but great for snippets! Hurray for the Bad Sex in Fiction Award!
Rowan Somerville:
"Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her."
Craig Raine
"The two dints at the base of her back above her behind. What did they mean? They seemed enigmatic, strange, profound to Steph."
Stephen King:
Ohmygodyes, she said and I laughed. She opened her eyes and looked up at me with curiosity and hopefulness. Is it over, or is there more?
A little more," I said. "I don't know how much. I haven't been with a woman in a long time.
It turned out there was quite a bit more. At the end she began to gasp. Oh dear, oh my dear, oh my dear dear God, oh sugar!
or...
Lee Child:
Faster, harder, faster, harder. The room began to shake. Just faintly at first, like a mild constant tremor, like the edge of a far distant earthquake. The French door trembled in its frame. A glass rattled on the bathroom shelf. The floor quivered. The hall door creaked and shuttered. My shoes hopped and moved. The bed head hammered against the wall. The floor shook hard. The walls boomed. Coins in my abandoned pocket tinkled.
Faster, harder, faster, harder. The land began to shake. Just faintly at first, like a mild constant tremor, like the edge of a far distant earthquake. France trembled in its sedimentary basin. A glacier rattled on the Arctic plain. The ground quivered. Panama creaked and shuttered. Iceland hopped and moved. Russia's taiga zone hammered against the Ural Mountains. Europe shook hard. The coastlines boomed. Treasure laden sunken ships in the Marianas Trench tinkled.
Bow-chika-wa-wa?
Hello H.Protagonist, you're quite good at turning me on.
Time to do some recording. Already got the Stephen King one done.
Oh, yes PLEASE! Are you doing all the parts or is TD helping out?
How about now? Eh? Eh?
Wouldn't be nearly as funny without collaboration. Also is there a link to more of those?
You're such a succubus.
Where do you find these gems.Pleeeeeeeeeaseeeeee read the excerpt from Brazil. It's beautiful.
You're going to make me send a creepy confession now. Rawr.It is my pleasure to stoke the geothermal fires of your viscous mantle.
P.S. No RP now?
What kind of idea are we gonna give lurkers if they open this thread and see us all getting horny for hot continent on continent action.
Pleeeeeeeeeaseeeeee read the excerpt from Brazil. It's beautiful.
http://www.flavorwire.com/52747/bad-sex-awards
Some are quite long, though:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2009/nov/19/bad-sex-factor-prize-shortlist
Don't mind me, I enjoy this already.
Also, 'lo Devo.
Where do you find these gems.
You're going to make me send a creepy confession now. Rawr.
And had to show some support of Soul Calibur with my normal avatar. I'll go back to RP if someone makes a fun topic for them.
Delicious. Definitely gonna have to do some of these not sober.
Hello thar =D.
Boredom and alcohol maketh a ripe combo for random internet searches and creepy confessions.
For RP, we do need a new theme. Maybe something summer-y? Sunburn-y?
For RP, we do need a new theme. Maybe something summer-y? Sunburn-y?
Hello thar =D.
When are we gonna see your project, Devo? I love those kind of recordings.
Here's one of my favorites
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVTiIxFOKtM
Boredom, alcohol, and you asked for it. Or you're gonna tell me all that continent talk was just because you "feel comfortable" with it. Huh. HUH.
And I'd rather remain not-sunburned for the time being.
This bit of RP talk is making me want to ramble on about my escapades. A dark, hilarious chapter of my life, indeed.
*polite bow* Pleasure to meet you, awesome person. We must do tea, sometime.
And now you must share it with us.This bit of RP talk is making me want to ramble on about my escapades. A dark, hilarious chapter of my life, indeed.
Bring it! My lazy Saturday cries out for entertainment and Hell's Kitchen is not scratching the itch!
And now you must share it with us.
Everyone has, but it's all on OT1. For real.
Dear Ronito: a certain GirlGAFfer has been teasing me and as a result I'd do some heavy continent drifting on her tectonic plates, which I will now proceed to narrate in detail.
Damn it, you people always making me push what's NSFW and what's not.
And now you must share it with us.
I would have to warn you; it involves k-pop, humping, mary-sues/gary-stu's up the ying-yang, tumblr gif abuse, and lots and lots of Homestuck.
Yes, I wrote for anime.
I would have to warn you; it involves k-pop, humping, mary-sues/gary-stu's up the ying-yang, tumblr gif abuse, and lots and lots of Homestuck.
Yes, I wrote for anime.
RUN SHANNY, RUNHey guys what's been ha-
...
I don't understand any of that, so details, details.