I've finally realized it. After a decade or so of being in group projects, I've realized that group projects are specially made to make all students hate school.
The project that put me over is the current project I'm working on. It's for Mathematics 125, which is supposed to be a practical applications course. It's the basic class for those who are not interested in math, but still need to fill their math requirements. And our on-going project was about the stock market. Supposed to keep up with the stocks and give some sort of presentation at the end of the semester as the final.
Our group seems to have been mismatched- one gentleman is a theatre management major, one of the ladies is a business major, and the two commuter students are undecided. I am a telecommunications major with an emphasis on film direction- movies are my passion. By "luck of the draw", we're all lumped together.
Our first meeting is marred by sheer terror- one of the commuters is absent, and nobody has any information on stocks. After some rummaging, we get all the information and whatnot- then, it is time to decide what sort of project we want to do. Blank stares, from everybody all around. After a minute or two, I offer a suggestion: "Well, we could do a movie."
Oh! A movie! A novel idea! The idea is met with astounding praise, and we decide to do that. They leave up to me the task of writing the script. But, I was curious: "What kind of movie should we do? I was thinking that I could do an awesome musical or a ninja movie." These ideas are met with no praise, but a few "That's silly" giggles. Then, of course, they offer the idea of doing either a newscast or a talkshow.
Newscast or a talkshow, huh? In the realm of studenting amateur filming, making a newscast or a talkshow is the equivalent of giving up. It's like a walking, talking, powerpoint presentation. However, it's what the group wanted. What they all thought was a good idea, but I didn't think had enough pizzaz. Whatever, I'll go with it. But I'll make it the best FUCKING show they've ever seen.
I made three deaths, zombies returning from the grave, and Jeanette Winterson alliterations. I made a great ending, engaging scenes, and Mets fighting people. I made something out of absolutely nothing. And everything, EVERYTHING, was on topic. I sent it out, fully expecting changes. I said to them, please, please, PLEASE tell me what you think needs to be changed before Sunday. I need to know these things, so I can edit the script. I got no replies, so I brought the copies to the filming, and bought 30 dollars in supplies. Considering have have no job, and no income, and that I'm rapidly depleting my savings for books and X-Mas gifts, this is somewhat of a burden.
Sunday rolls around, and I go to the lounge in the unused part of the dorm. I'm 15 minutes late because I was buying the supplies (had to walk 4 miles round trip..), so I expect them to be started. On the way towards it, I hear a dorm room yell my name. I go in, and lo and behold, 'tis my group. It seems that another group was using the lounge, so they decided that they could film it in their noisy, 5x3 dorm room (that's the amount that one could move, because of beds and desks and what have you.). I said, "Let me go check out the lounge." Sure enough, when I show up, they had just finished. So they were perfectly okay to sacrifice the movie for their conveinence.
Furthermore, I learned that none of them had bothered to learn parts of the script. Some of them didn't even show up (commuter :/). So, to counteract the missing group member, who could have played at least 2 roles, I had to go scoop up some actors from my dorm neighbors. And I got a couple of people, no problem. I go back down, and they're making revisions over the script.
This is fine and dandy- except that I had asked them to be ready, to HAVE revisions by the time we were to meet. So, patiently, I go through every query of theirs:
"Is all of the violence necessary?"
"Well, how else do you propose the hosts dying?"
"Do the hosts have to die?"
"Yes, that's what allows for the big payoff ending."
"Why is there so much cursing?"
"Because one of the shows is a Jerry Springer parody, and we're bleeping all of the curses anyway."
So, after an hour of stupid revisions, we get underway. We try to shoot my neigbors' scenes first, as they have stuff to do. The first scene goes off without a hitch.
Next scene, trouble ensues. The grotesquely obese commuter girl already complains that she's tired (It's 7:30.) and that she wants to go home. I explain to her that she's needed for the movie, and she agrees in a huff to wait. This happens every 15 minutes for the next 2 and 1/2 hours. Then, when they FINALLY realize that the character "Sally" has to be a FEMALE part, the two girls in my group bicker about who has to be her. It happens to be her first time ever acting out anything, so I don't blame her fully for what's happening. For now.
We struggle through the scene. Nobody understands any of the humor, and everyone whines about not liking how things were phrased. This wouldn't have been a problem. IF THEY HAD TOLD ME THIS LAST FUCKING NIGHT. WHEN I WAS ABLE TO SIT DOWN AND FIGURE IT THE FUCK OUT. The theater guy complains that everybody is having trouble memorizing lines... but I compensated for that, by making every sentence a new cut. That way, they'd just have to remember ONE line. But no, not good enough. So we sit down another 15 minutes just reading the lines. We finally choke down the second scene.
The third scene spiralled into madness. Nobody would stay focused and nobody would follow my directions (which was my only job in the whole project, mind you). This is the Jerry Springer parody one, so we clearly have it written in the script that people will be chanting the host's name (Joey), when applicable. Nobody can chant in sync with each other. I start chanting, split seconds later they'd get the idea. I tried to slow down to get in sync with them, and they'd just stop. Infuriating. Later on, the girl who had never acted before complained about the amount of cursing in her part. Which would be bleeped out. Her excuse?
"I usually don't say those words. And the teacher wouldn't like it."
I'm absolutely serious. She's acting a fucking part, and she thinks that what she says that gets bleeped out is going to matter. It's not like this is her playing herself- she's playing a dirty skeezbag whore. Dirty skeezbag whores curse- it's their thing, it's what they do. And about the teacher not liking it? I've noticed that nearly everyone I've met in college still decides that it's best to play to the teacher. What does that say about critical thinking? You go to college to further your education, not to just impress some teacher. They're thinking about it like, "Four more years of forced learning. Whoopee."
We get through it, somehow, and get to the final scene, the ending, the big payoff. It's going to be hillarious- the dead rise for the grave and attack the remaining cast. The remaining cast is sitting there, saying what they learned today, sort of like a Partridge Family episode. After they're all done, they look to the right. It cuts to the three dead guys laying in a heap. It cuts back to them, and they all start to laugh. Then, the three dead people get up and join them in their laughter. They all start to realize what's going on and stop laughing. After a large awkward pause, the zombies look at the living guys and say "BRAINS!" and attack. In that split second, it cuts to credits and plays the ending theme to the original Dawn of the Dead. It would have looked much better than I portrayed it just now, but I think you get the gist.
I try to get them in a row, but all they're doing is whining about how they want to go home, or how they're hungry, or how they don't get it. I know that we don't have much battery left, so I'm trying to hustle them. Meanwhile, the cameraguy is getting impatient, and I'm getting frusterated.
We didn't get to finish the scene. And now all we have are the Partridge Family episode endings. And they can't get together any time before Thursday (the day of the presentation), so it had to be dropped. And as I lay on the floor, obviously disappointed, the girl who had never acted before has the audacity to tell me, "Don't get pissed at us, it wasn't our fault the camera died." I wanted to smack her in the face.
Now I'm stuck with a shitty movie to edit, with bad acting, unfunny cut bits, and a lame ending. I hate, hate, hate, HATE group work, and I never want to do group work ever again.
The project that put me over is the current project I'm working on. It's for Mathematics 125, which is supposed to be a practical applications course. It's the basic class for those who are not interested in math, but still need to fill their math requirements. And our on-going project was about the stock market. Supposed to keep up with the stocks and give some sort of presentation at the end of the semester as the final.
Our group seems to have been mismatched- one gentleman is a theatre management major, one of the ladies is a business major, and the two commuter students are undecided. I am a telecommunications major with an emphasis on film direction- movies are my passion. By "luck of the draw", we're all lumped together.
Our first meeting is marred by sheer terror- one of the commuters is absent, and nobody has any information on stocks. After some rummaging, we get all the information and whatnot- then, it is time to decide what sort of project we want to do. Blank stares, from everybody all around. After a minute or two, I offer a suggestion: "Well, we could do a movie."
Oh! A movie! A novel idea! The idea is met with astounding praise, and we decide to do that. They leave up to me the task of writing the script. But, I was curious: "What kind of movie should we do? I was thinking that I could do an awesome musical or a ninja movie." These ideas are met with no praise, but a few "That's silly" giggles. Then, of course, they offer the idea of doing either a newscast or a talkshow.
Newscast or a talkshow, huh? In the realm of studenting amateur filming, making a newscast or a talkshow is the equivalent of giving up. It's like a walking, talking, powerpoint presentation. However, it's what the group wanted. What they all thought was a good idea, but I didn't think had enough pizzaz. Whatever, I'll go with it. But I'll make it the best FUCKING show they've ever seen.
I made three deaths, zombies returning from the grave, and Jeanette Winterson alliterations. I made a great ending, engaging scenes, and Mets fighting people. I made something out of absolutely nothing. And everything, EVERYTHING, was on topic. I sent it out, fully expecting changes. I said to them, please, please, PLEASE tell me what you think needs to be changed before Sunday. I need to know these things, so I can edit the script. I got no replies, so I brought the copies to the filming, and bought 30 dollars in supplies. Considering have have no job, and no income, and that I'm rapidly depleting my savings for books and X-Mas gifts, this is somewhat of a burden.
Sunday rolls around, and I go to the lounge in the unused part of the dorm. I'm 15 minutes late because I was buying the supplies (had to walk 4 miles round trip..), so I expect them to be started. On the way towards it, I hear a dorm room yell my name. I go in, and lo and behold, 'tis my group. It seems that another group was using the lounge, so they decided that they could film it in their noisy, 5x3 dorm room (that's the amount that one could move, because of beds and desks and what have you.). I said, "Let me go check out the lounge." Sure enough, when I show up, they had just finished. So they were perfectly okay to sacrifice the movie for their conveinence.
Furthermore, I learned that none of them had bothered to learn parts of the script. Some of them didn't even show up (commuter :/). So, to counteract the missing group member, who could have played at least 2 roles, I had to go scoop up some actors from my dorm neighbors. And I got a couple of people, no problem. I go back down, and they're making revisions over the script.
This is fine and dandy- except that I had asked them to be ready, to HAVE revisions by the time we were to meet. So, patiently, I go through every query of theirs:
"Is all of the violence necessary?"
"Well, how else do you propose the hosts dying?"
"Do the hosts have to die?"
"Yes, that's what allows for the big payoff ending."
"Why is there so much cursing?"
"Because one of the shows is a Jerry Springer parody, and we're bleeping all of the curses anyway."
So, after an hour of stupid revisions, we get underway. We try to shoot my neigbors' scenes first, as they have stuff to do. The first scene goes off without a hitch.
Next scene, trouble ensues. The grotesquely obese commuter girl already complains that she's tired (It's 7:30.) and that she wants to go home. I explain to her that she's needed for the movie, and she agrees in a huff to wait. This happens every 15 minutes for the next 2 and 1/2 hours. Then, when they FINALLY realize that the character "Sally" has to be a FEMALE part, the two girls in my group bicker about who has to be her. It happens to be her first time ever acting out anything, so I don't blame her fully for what's happening. For now.
We struggle through the scene. Nobody understands any of the humor, and everyone whines about not liking how things were phrased. This wouldn't have been a problem. IF THEY HAD TOLD ME THIS LAST FUCKING NIGHT. WHEN I WAS ABLE TO SIT DOWN AND FIGURE IT THE FUCK OUT. The theater guy complains that everybody is having trouble memorizing lines... but I compensated for that, by making every sentence a new cut. That way, they'd just have to remember ONE line. But no, not good enough. So we sit down another 15 minutes just reading the lines. We finally choke down the second scene.
The third scene spiralled into madness. Nobody would stay focused and nobody would follow my directions (which was my only job in the whole project, mind you). This is the Jerry Springer parody one, so we clearly have it written in the script that people will be chanting the host's name (Joey), when applicable. Nobody can chant in sync with each other. I start chanting, split seconds later they'd get the idea. I tried to slow down to get in sync with them, and they'd just stop. Infuriating. Later on, the girl who had never acted before complained about the amount of cursing in her part. Which would be bleeped out. Her excuse?
"I usually don't say those words. And the teacher wouldn't like it."
I'm absolutely serious. She's acting a fucking part, and she thinks that what she says that gets bleeped out is going to matter. It's not like this is her playing herself- she's playing a dirty skeezbag whore. Dirty skeezbag whores curse- it's their thing, it's what they do. And about the teacher not liking it? I've noticed that nearly everyone I've met in college still decides that it's best to play to the teacher. What does that say about critical thinking? You go to college to further your education, not to just impress some teacher. They're thinking about it like, "Four more years of forced learning. Whoopee."
We get through it, somehow, and get to the final scene, the ending, the big payoff. It's going to be hillarious- the dead rise for the grave and attack the remaining cast. The remaining cast is sitting there, saying what they learned today, sort of like a Partridge Family episode. After they're all done, they look to the right. It cuts to the three dead guys laying in a heap. It cuts back to them, and they all start to laugh. Then, the three dead people get up and join them in their laughter. They all start to realize what's going on and stop laughing. After a large awkward pause, the zombies look at the living guys and say "BRAINS!" and attack. In that split second, it cuts to credits and plays the ending theme to the original Dawn of the Dead. It would have looked much better than I portrayed it just now, but I think you get the gist.
I try to get them in a row, but all they're doing is whining about how they want to go home, or how they're hungry, or how they don't get it. I know that we don't have much battery left, so I'm trying to hustle them. Meanwhile, the cameraguy is getting impatient, and I'm getting frusterated.
We didn't get to finish the scene. And now all we have are the Partridge Family episode endings. And they can't get together any time before Thursday (the day of the presentation), so it had to be dropped. And as I lay on the floor, obviously disappointed, the girl who had never acted before has the audacity to tell me, "Don't get pissed at us, it wasn't our fault the camera died." I wanted to smack her in the face.
Now I'm stuck with a shitty movie to edit, with bad acting, unfunny cut bits, and a lame ending. I hate, hate, hate, HATE group work, and I never want to do group work ever again.
(I LOVE this class 