Because this almost literally is impossible in a healthy relationship. At some point you're going to rely on each other. If you get upset about carrying a purse, you are not gonna make it later on when real shit happens.
Holding your SO's purse
- Thread starter King Cobra
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Because this almost literally is impossible in a healthy relationship. At some point you're going to rely on each other. If you get upset about carrying a purse, you are not gonna make it later on when real shit happens.
GhostWriter24
Member
Psshhh, throw that thing over your shoulder, rock a pair of $1500 Jimmy Choo's and show the world who wears the pants, bro.
Have had to hold gf's purse a few times, not a big fuckin deal.
Marty Chinn
Member
Pulling their own weight means equal effort in the relationship. This is not about carrying a purse. It's about a reasonable expectation of each other's role and mutual respect for each other. Having your SO hold a purse while you tie your shoe, pay for something, look at something, try something on, etc that would cause your arms and hands to be occupied is a reasonable request. Having your SO carrying around your stuff for no other reason than you don't want to all the time is an unreasonable request especially when a reasonable alternative is offered.
mullet2000
Member
Yup, this is my answer.
cubicle47b
Member
A girl? No, I don't think so.
GuessMyUserName
Member
... Wow people comparing holding a purse to wearing a dress.
Fun Fact: If you're a guy holding your SO's purse nobody actually thinks it's your purse. When a guy is holding a purse, the immediate implication is that he's holding it for someone else, not that it's his own.
I mean I don't know why you're caring what strangers around you think over your SO in the first place, but still, I have no idea how someone could fear about their image holding a purse.
Fun Fact: If you're a guy holding your SO's purse nobody actually thinks it's your purse. When a guy is holding a purse, the immediate implication is that he's holding it for someone else, not that it's his own.
I mean I don't know why you're caring what strangers around you think over your SO in the first place, but still, I have no idea how someone could fear about their image holding a purse.
I cannot fathom how on earth this can be a big deal.
My wife always asks me to hold her purse for a few minutes if we've been walking for too long. I do it and that's it... I mean, it's just a purse, if I ask her to do some random shit for me she does it as well. Not everything is to be analyzed as some important decision.
And I actually carry it on my shoulder like women do and we get a laugh if someone stares at me! Imagine that, we get fun out of it.
My wife always asks me to hold her purse for a few minutes if we've been walking for too long. I do it and that's it... I mean, it's just a purse, if I ask her to do some random shit for me she does it as well. Not everything is to be analyzed as some important decision.
And I actually carry it on my shoulder like women do and we get a laugh if someone stares at me! Imagine that, we get fun out of it.
Its not that people think its yours...they know exactly who it belongs to.
AyaisMUsikWhore
Member
This is why I carry a crossbody bag.
#1 They are usually big, obnoxious and too much to carry
#2 They are not easy to maneuver within tight or crowded spaces
#3 You have 2 straps that you have to have on at all times and one strap always falls down, which causes you to adjust them constantly
#4 They are also usually ugly
#5 They enable carrying unnecessary shit
However, I don't think holding an SO's purse is so bad and not emasculating. Like so what if she's like "carry it" just to carry it? I don't even see the issue with that. I'm sure if he had a bag he wanted her to carry, I doubt she would say no too.
But then I understand the fuckery around holding something just to hold something. Like, hells no. If both of your arms are free besides one item and I have my stuff on, hold your own shit.
#1 They are usually big, obnoxious and too much to carry
#2 They are not easy to maneuver within tight or crowded spaces
#3 You have 2 straps that you have to have on at all times and one strap always falls down, which causes you to adjust them constantly
#4 They are also usually ugly
#5 They enable carrying unnecessary shit
However, I don't think holding an SO's purse is so bad and not emasculating. Like so what if she's like "carry it" just to carry it? I don't even see the issue with that. I'm sure if he had a bag he wanted her to carry, I doubt she would say no too.
But then I understand the fuckery around holding something just to hold something. Like, hells no. If both of your arms are free besides one item and I have my stuff on, hold your own shit.
LookAtMeGo
Member
GuessMyUserName
Member
King Cobra
Banned
I would never have her hold my briefcase, if I am going to bring something it is for me to carry. I would feel rude to expect her to carry it just because I felt like bringing something that I no longer wanted to carry.
it's one thing to look helpful and it's another to look ridiculous, imagine a guy in a suit holding a bright orange purse while his partner is just walking hands free next to him. Does that seem helpful?
Kuro Madoushi
Unconfirmed Member
Eh. Just start rummaging through it in the middle of the street and start exclaiming when you find something. That'll change her tune real quick.
GuessMyUserName
Member
... Yes?
I'm intrigued as to why you felt describing the colour would change things. Again, it's not his purse, it has absolutely no bearing on him.
So the woman you supposedly care for is content, but the random person walking by might notice you're holding a purse for them? How is this bad? Are you ashamed to be seen with your partner? I'm really trying to figure out why being seen as someone who is willing to do something considered socially embarrassing to some while showing the person you might consider spending the rest of your life some love is a bad thing.
Glass Rebel
Member
"what a nice guy to hold his SO's purse. I bet he doesn't have a GAF account."
M0nochromatic
Member
I can't understand what's wrong about holding a bag for a person you supposedly care about.
Sure purses are feminine. Is it too emasculating to grasp and to hold? Do women feel that suitcases or wallets or whatever are too masculine and that holding them would hurt their image or make them look stupid?
Sure purses are feminine. Is it too emasculating to grasp and to hold? Do women feel that suitcases or wallets or whatever are too masculine and that holding them would hurt their image or make them look stupid?
AyaisMUsikWhore
Member
But asking her doesn't mean that she will flat out say no because it may make her feel "less than a women"
I think some people put too much investment into roles than how their SO might really feel about it. I think if you aren't thinking about the hypotheticals, you'd be surprised
This sums up my opinions.
CitizenCope
Member
Man there is only a handful like myself in this thread who are apparently dicks but we have 14 pages.
Wowzers!
Wowzers!
enigmatic_alex44
Whenever a game uses "middleware," I expect mediocrity. Just see how poor TLOU looks.
I mean, it's 2015. Are guys really still worried about what other people will think about their "masculinity"? lmfao. If you are uncomfortable holding your SO's purse if she needs help, then just say no. Just don't be surprised @ her reaction.
King Cobra
Banned
Doing things that could be embarrassing for you just for the sake of her not wanting to carry her own purse is not exactly healthy and could be a slippery slope. There has to be a level of respect for both parties, I would never ask her "hey go bring me a beer and make me a sandwich" so carry a purse for the sake of "look at what my BF is willing to do for me is just a little desperate in my opinion.
This pretty much summed up why others are on one side.
You only think this because of what your co-worker thinks, apparently. And if that's what goes through your head when your SO asks you to do something, you would probably be better off single. I don't know how you're going to last if you can't even trust her to not be a terrible person.
Glass Rebel
Member
wait this purse is $10k?
I'd hold that shit and take care of it like a newborn fucking baby
it's way safer in my hands than hers
I'd hold that shit and take care of it like a newborn fucking baby
it's way safer in my hands than hers
And here's another person who hasn't read this thread at all.I mean, it's 2015. Are guys really still worried about what other people will think about their "masculinity"? lmfao. If you are uncomfortable holding your SO's purse if she needs help, then just say no. Just don't be surprised @ her reaction.
I think this is a bit melodramatic.
First of all, the OP has admitted that it's the aesthetic of carrying the bag that bother him which is petty.
By all accounts the OPs girlfriend doesn't expect him to carry around her handbag all day every day. She just didn't feel like it on this particular day.
Who cares?
I wouldn't want to be stuck in a relationship in which neither of you will do something for the other on occasion "just because".
entremet
Member
swearing-circle
Member
My girlfriend asks me to carry stuff for her all the time and vise versa. Doesn't bother me.
Subpar Spatula
Banned
War is never fun.
freenudemacusers
Member
and posting a plebian-tier vuitton mirror purse, no less. scust.
Marty Chinn
Member
I feel sorry for someone in a relationship with an irrational person who is selfish and inconsiderate and then complains when a reasonable solution is offered.
"Why are you in that relationship?," has been the underlying theme to most of our, the purse holders, posts.
enigmatic_alex44
Whenever a game uses "middleware," I expect mediocrity. Just see how poor TLOU looks.
Asking someone for a favour on occasion is far from selfish and irrational.
If you and your SO went on a trip and packed a single suitcase that had more of her stuff in it than yours, would you make her lug it around everywhere?
ScatheZombie
Member
The problem with this line of thinking is that everyone is selfish and inconsiderate sometimes. Everyone. EVERYONE.
Assuming you have a SO, you've probably been somehow selfish or inconsiderate towards them in, say, the last 48 hours. You may not even realize it. It happens. We're people. We are inherently selfish and inconsiderate. Just be around young children for like ... 10 minutes. Tiny little Hitlers. Every single one. Because they haven't been taught to suppress that part of themselves in public yet. They haven't figured out that other people exist and have value.
So when you treat your relationship like some competition between who can be less (or more) inconsiderate and selfish, are making tallies in some mental list of perceived slights, are assuming your SO is just being a dick when they ask for a simple favor, are expecting them to explain themselves every time they say or do some trivial thing you don't personally agree with ... when you do that, you are being a child. You don't trust your SO. You value yourself more than them. And you shouldn't be in that relationship anymore.
But that's like way, way, way, way, way down the line from holding her purse.
bobawesome
Member
I used to hold my Rex's purse whenever she asked. I didn't realize this was something a lot of people were bothered by.
Ecto311
Member
Ha what? Kidding me? My wife of 10 years and 6 years before that has never "tested" me with anything. I would have done the same thing. If she can't carry the fucking thing then it stays in the car. What kind of psycho tests you to be a beta man? Fuuuuck all that mind game shit.
First off I'm just happy because my gf doesn't have a purse because she thinks they're dumb.
Second, if something like that did happen I'd give her the same response she'd give me if I asked her to carry some of my random shit: What do I look like, your bitch?
Then we'd go on for a bit about who's the real bitch and end up carrying our own shit and everything works out fine
Second, if something like that did happen I'd give her the same response she'd give me if I asked her to carry some of my random shit: What do I look like, your bitch?
Then we'd go on for a bit about who's the real bitch and end up carrying our own shit and everything works out fine
haha, good one. No one KNOWS they are being tested!
LookAtMeGo
Member
That sounds like a terrible way to live.
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