How to deal with housemates eating food?

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kirby_fox said:
Put a note on the fridge or email all of them:

"To the person who refuses to admit you're eating my food,

I have decided to stop playing nice. From now on, one item of food that you do not own in the fridge will be laced with one of the following:

- Something you're allergic to
- Extreme laxatives
- Bodily fluids (including but not limited to urine, feces, saliva, and sperm)
- Something you will regret eating after I put a picture of where it had been before on the fridge after you eat it

If any of you that are not eating my food are uncomfortable with knowing this is in the communal fridge and know who has been eating my food then feel free to confront them. Otherwise, continue smoking your weed and make sure to only eat what you buy."

On a more serious note, I would suggest cutting your budget even more so and eating things that don't need to be refrigerated or frozen, and if it is frozen/frigerated make it something you can eat day of buying it. Will require multiple trips to the store and a time crunch and mostly drinking water from tap, but hey- at least it's better than nothing.
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jesus kirby. Noted.
 
MasterBalls said:
One of my housemates' nuggets of knowledge;

"That cheese would have gotten me through until next week, now it'll last a few days at bst"

"... Yeah but, do you really need all that cheese? That's a big block of cheese"
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Tell him you'll take it under consideration and eat all of his food that you don't think he needs.
 
Yell at em. That's what I do.

But then again it rarely happens, we booted a former flatmate out last year because he stole our food all the time.
 
MasterBalls said:
Jesus! The suggestions are I either go passive aggressive or... go SAW apparently :P
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Might as well go full SAW on them. Lock them all in a room with their legs shackled to something extremely sturdy. Next to all of them is a hacksaw and a vial that is just out of reach. Tell them all that they have been injected with a poison that will kill them at the end of the movie in two hours and the vial will cure them (assuming they are cool with losing a leg). Of course, none of them are really poisoned and the vial itself is something deadly enough to kill them instantly. The game will end once the person eating your food admits and says s/he will stop.

If they do it again, poop in their bed.
 
Don't drug somebody over some food man. Laxatives cause diarrhea and diarrhea could lead to dehydration. Maybe you should visit your local food bank because you sound like you are in need of assistance .
 
The-Hobbit-Dwalin-In-Pantry.jpg
 
junpei said:
Don't drug somebody over some food man. Laxatives cause diarrhea and diarrhea could lead to dehydration. Maybe you should visit your local food bank because you sound like you are in need of assistance .
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He shouldn't have to go to a food bank. Grown ass people shouldn't be eating his food.

It's his. That ex lax in his food is for him and it's labelled. Now if those fucknuts eat HIS food then fuck em. Some people gotta learn the hard way.

I personally would start eating everyone's food.
 
You ever seen Saw OP? You know what to do.

Got rent it and watch it with your housemates and have a great Sunday night in.
 
Octavion Rex said:
Buy one of these! My brother fixed the issue by putting the death sauce on his random left overs. Thought it was hilarious. So did his roommate!
this stuff is crazy hot. He put it on my pizza one day...I sweat, turned red, and had tears haha
http://www.hotsauceworld.com/blair-s-sauces.html
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A much better idea than laxatives. Depending on where you live, you can get charged with attempted poisoning if you spike the food with laxatives. Whereas insanely hot sauces are perfectly legal.
 
Nickodemos said:
A much better idea than laxatives. Depending on where you live, you can get charged with attempted poisoning if you spike the food with laxatives. Whereas insanely hot sauces are perfectly legal.
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Yeah this is my suggestion too if he's taking the passive aggressive road. Watch them mofos sweat.
 
Nickodemos said:
A much better idea than laxatives. Depending on where you live, you can get charged with attempted poisoning if you spike the food with laxatives. Whereas insanely hot sauces are perfectly legal.
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If you spike your own food with laxatives and you tell everyone that you laced your food with laxatives then you can not be charged with anything. You warned them and it's your food.
 
put the hottest pepper in your food, and have a camera setup in your room while they eat your food.

You'll get so many views on youtube if you upload it.
 
Not sure about food, but when my roommate was stealing my shampoo without asking I made decoy shampoo, it was a shampoo bottle filled with Nare. Problem solved, never happened again. So decoy food?
 
Nickodemos said:
A much better idea than laxatives. Depending on where you live, you can get charged with attempted poisoning if you spike the food with laxatives. Whereas insanely hot sauces are perfectly legal.
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If he spikes his own food with laxatives? I don't see the crime. It's not like he is spiking food and then putting it out on a golder platter with garnish and a note that read "To my Lovely [insert name here]"
 
MasterBalls said:
I've already tried hiding my bread and carving "FUCK OFF" into my cheese... I wouldn't mind the occasional thing used, with my permission, but I'm fairly tight on food money this year, and a block of cheese that would have lasted me a week has two massive chunks taken out of it before I'd even used it.

Am I over-reacting? Is it poor form? It's difficult to budget when you have to take stoned hungry housemates into account.
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You're not over-reacting at all. The fact they took it upon themselves to open the cheese and the proceed to take two chunks out of it is bad enough, but they do this on a regular basis? Man, fuck that shit. You need to put them straight and tell them to back the fuck off away from your food. If you're on a budget, how are you expected to survive if those fuckers are eating all your food? Failing that, make a complaint to the landlord about one of their tenants acting irrationally and let them deal with it.
 
crozier said:
Stick a huge bag of these out in the open:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000EVQWKC/?tag=neogaf0e-20

Read the reviews...
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HOLY SHIT



1.0 out of 5 stars Rapture me, please lord. October 5, 2013
By Craig L
As I type this review, I'm on the toilet, surrounded by my dearest family and friends and a priest. I'm not exactly sure whether this is an exorcism or if I'm getting my last rites read to me. This very well could be my final crowning moment. I may never make it back to my feet. What a way to go. Will I go out by suffocating in a toxic byproduct stench? Will I croak from my body expelling all essential nutrients for life? Is this the apacolypse?
What is occurring in my body right now may only be explained with the final 20 minutes of the movie Independence Day. The sweet gummy bears that I thought I had chewed and swallowed have now resurrected inside my bowels with a vengeance. The only thing that I can imagine they are doing is s***ting inside my digestive tract. Decomposed zombie gummy bear s***. This can't be all my s***. There's no way. That's not my s***. That's s*** from a supernatural entity living inside me. Literally nothing I've eaten in a dozen years could possibly turn my ass into a to-scale model of Mt. St. Helens, violently spewing what smells like a public bus filled with homeless people with fresh perms, in Mexico City at such a cyclic rate, that I'm worried the war veteran below me thinks he's storming Normandy again.
Shame on everyone who handled these bears before they made it to me. Shame on Amazon for making theses available for purchase. Shame on the guy in the warehouse who packaged this for shipment. Shame on the UPS guy for bringing this to my door. You all knew. I know you knew, and you knew I'd know. And you still let me do this to myself. Shame on you!
My last hope now is that the force of gas propelling from my anus may be strong enough to disturb Satan himself in hell. And that he is so angered by this that he sends an entire fleet of brave minions to come up through the toilet and put me out of my misery.
 
kirby_fox said:
Put a note on the fridge or email all of them:

"To the person who refuses to admit you're eating my food,

I have decided to stop playing nice. From now on, one item of food that you do not own in the fridge will be laced with one of the following:

- Something you're allergic to
- Extreme laxatives
- Bodily fluids (including but not limited to urine, feces, saliva, and sperm)
- Something you will regret eating after I put a picture of where it had been before on the fridge after you eat it
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-- He has asshole roommates, so do NOT do this. The obvious counter is that the friendly roommates will simply eat some food then wipe THEIR balls on everything to teach HIM a lesson.
-- Get a minifridge or a lockable fridge storage box. And start looking for a new place.
 
MasterBalls said:
I've already tried hiding my bread and carving "FUCK OFF" into my cheese... I wouldn't mind the occasional thing used, with my permission, but I'm fairly tight on food money this year, and a block of cheese that would have lasted me a week has two massive chunks taken out of it before I'd even used it.

Am I over-reacting? Is it poor form? It's difficult to budget when you have to take stoned hungry housemates into account.
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Put something into the food....

Yours,

Franck







Please don't do it.
 
Kill whoever is eating your food and then use their body to get your through the winter.

Also, I love your avatars mix of The Emperor's New Groove and Iron Man/Tony Stark.
 
If you're going the chilli/ laxative route, you're going to want to put it in something they're going to eat in one bite like a cupcake, though it might be easiest to crush up laxatives and put them in a coke bottle.

It's not your responsibility to be mother hen to four man-children who value cheese and bread over your friendship.
 
If you know who is doing it, tie them to a chair in the kitchen then force feed them ALL the food.

You will never have another problem with your roomates again.
 
notworksafe said:
Default solution for all NeoGAF issues: Talk to them, explain the situation. Tell them you're super poor right now and you can't afford shit.

If they don't listen, push them down the stairs and pretend it was an accident.
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I did this but instead of pushing them down the stairs I put ghost chili powder over my food and repackaged it.
 
You've got to remember there's a perfect counter to the note saying you've put laxatives/cum in a random bit of food that only you know, and that's a scralled addendum at the bottom saying 'so did I'.
 
Frankly, I've never quite understood this. Everytime I've lived with other people, we just shared food. Them eating my food didn't bother me, and vice versa. You just have to come up with a shopping arrangement that works for everyone. That way, you also become much more of a homogenous community, rather than 5 people living together semi-awkwardly.

If this is really that big a deal to you, though, the best thing to do is just sit the responsible parties down and talk to them calmly. You should be old enough to resolve the issue in a mature, non-confrontational way and if they are at least semi-decent, they'll understand. Some people are uncomfortable with sharing supplies, and there's nothing wrong with that. If the conversation doesn't help, there's still plenty of time for more drastic measures.
 
Talk to each roommate individually. Do not accuse. Merely inquire. Explain the situation and that if they really need it, they should be asking beforehand, like a reasonable adult.
 
If they wont understand and abstain after a fair talking, I believe you should find a way to fuck with them.

I like Kirby`s idea. Fuck with the thief or thieves as effectively as you possibly can.

Sorry to hear this is happening. I cant imagine how annoying that must be.
 
OrlanisWorks said:
If they wont understand and abstain after a fair talking, I believe you should find a way to fuck with them.

I like Kirby`s idea. Fuck with the thief or thieves as effectively as you possibly can.

Sorry to hear this is happening. I cant imagine how annoying that must be.
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Yeah, I actually talked to mine multiple times throughout months and they didn't listen so I gathered some money to buy a big vat of ghost chili powder on Amazon and started sprinkling it all over my food.
 
Thank god the one time this ever happened to me the threat of physical violence was enough to put an end to it. I could never live with myself if I let people walk all over me in this way multiple times.
 
Mammoth Jones said:
He shouldn't have to go to a food bank. Grown ass people shouldn't be eating his food.

It's his. That ex lax in his food is for him and it's labelled. Now if those fucknuts eat HIS food then fuck em. Some people gotta learn the hard way.

I personally would start eating everyone's food.
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He shouldn't have to but if he is so poor that he cant afford a extra little bread and cheese then maybe he is have a hard time affording food in the first place.There is also the off chance that your roommate that is stealing the food may give it an Innocent third party . You have to find out who is stealing the food man and confront them. That roommate doesn't respect your things and is likely to take other stuff if you don't confront him. There are apps for smartphone and laptops that can turn them into motion sensing cameras . Not sure if you have any space to place something like that kitchen .
 
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