thezerofire
Banned
mostly in CA. We call them California Rolls
How to Drive in America: a guide for Brits.
- Thread starter Stinkles
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Rocket Scientist
Member
HOLY SHIT. Thanks for the bump. I. Am. Dying.
Well, it's called a parking brake then. All three of my cars have foot activated parking brakes. All three are American, and were made in 1976, 1989, and 2010.
Useful, because you can use it without taking your hands of the steering wheel. Plus it doesn't waste space in the center console. That's also why I prefer column shifters for automatics. Got to love having a front bench seat.
Rocket Scientist
Member
STOPtional?
AdventureMike
Member
MD/DC area is shit for turn signals and following distance.
If I could add one to the list, it would be something about "Yes, it is perfectly okay and encouraged for you to hold up traffic to gaze longingly at a fender bender. Hey, you might know them! Gotta get yo pics for twitter!"
If I could add one to the list, it would be something about "Yes, it is perfectly okay and encouraged for you to hold up traffic to gaze longingly at a fender bender. Hey, you might know them! Gotta get yo pics for twitter!"
NinjaBoiX
Member
PARKING: Americans will think a vehicle parked facing south at the side of a northbound lane is a speeding vehicle and scream, crash and die. It is therefor illegal in most places to park your car facing the opposite direction of traffic flow.*
This is actually a fantastic law. The fucktards I encounter daily drive me crazy.
Once, I was driving down a street (in the UK), past a shop on the left. A car coming the opposite way, decided she wanted to stop at the shop, but couldn't deal with the extra two paces it would take to park on her side and walk across.
Cue the dozy bint lurching across in front of me, to park on the wrong side of the road. All to save herself a few steps. Had I not been Johnny on the spot with the brake pedal, I would've slammed headlong into her.
FFS, park on your own side, you lazy piece of shit! Are you fucking kidding me?
People parking inconsiderately is my driving pet peeve. Like, to save yourself a few seconds, you're going to put everyone else out? Aren't you embarrassed to drive like a dickhead?
This is actually a fantastic law. The fucktards I encounter daily drive me crazy.
Once, I was driving down a street (in the UK), past a shop on the left. A car coming the opposite way, decided she wanted to stop at the shop, but couldn't deal with the extra two paces it would take to park on her side and walk across.
Cue the dozy bint lurching across in front of me, to park on the wrong side of the road. All to save herself a few steps. Had I not been Johnny on the spot with the brake pedal, I would've slammed headlong into her.
FFS, park on your own side, you lazy piece of shit! Are you fucking kidding me?
People parking inconsiderately is my driving pet peeve. Like, to save yourself a few seconds, you're going to put everyone else out? Aren't you embarrassed to drive like a dickhead?
AdventureMike
Member
I ask myself this every time I go out on the road and see the nonsense that happens.
-Driving in the shoulders to get ahead of stopped traffic
-Causing miles long traffic tie ups to look at a car crash
-Diving in front of people trying to be safe by having a cushion of space
-Blinking your high beams behind someone you don't think is going fast enough when they're already going over the speed limit (was going 75 in a 65, not in the left most lane and had this happen)
-Waiting until the very last moment to merge even though you were told ages ago that an incident was coming up and your lane was blocked.
Everytime Im stopped in bumper to bumper traffic that is caused by people gawking at accidents, I dream what the day will be like when all of our cars are google self-driving cars. That will be the best day in the history of mankind.
thezerofire
Banned
Real talk though about people being terrible drivers in southern california, I almost got hit by a cop car as I was crossing the street once. In the crosswalk and while it was my turn and everything. Dude stopped six inches from me
We use guns in Amurica. Being able to shoot with either/both hands is a useful skill. And of course we have someone riding shotgun literally.
No, the signs that require you to stop say "STOPtimal."
Nothing makes me more angry than being stuck in slow traffic only to pass by a slight accident a few miles up and suddenly have the traffic flow normally again like nothing happened. FUCCCK.
thezerofire
Banned
Even better is when it's for no reason at all
NinjaBoiX
Member
Another quick one:
Driving down a street lined with cars parked either side, with a gap just big enough to drive down. Suddenly this car door appears in front of me, followed by a woman. I slam on the brakes, screeching to a halt a few inches away from her. She just looks at me for a second, blanked faced, then turns back to the car and opens the back door to let her daughter out. All the while, I'm stopped, dead in the street with traffic backed up behind.
What did she think, "a fuck it, I'm sick of waiting, the next car will stop".
I always say, no matter how ridiculous the driving, a simple apology, a hand up, whatever, makes it so much better. It's when they just shrug it off, like "yeah, and what?" that really bugs me. At least have the decency to admit fault you cretin.
Driving down a street lined with cars parked either side, with a gap just big enough to drive down. Suddenly this car door appears in front of me, followed by a woman. I slam on the brakes, screeching to a halt a few inches away from her. She just looks at me for a second, blanked faced, then turns back to the car and opens the back door to let her daughter out. All the while, I'm stopped, dead in the street with traffic backed up behind.
What did she think, "a fuck it, I'm sick of waiting, the next car will stop".
I always say, no matter how ridiculous the driving, a simple apology, a hand up, whatever, makes it so much better. It's when they just shrug it off, like "yeah, and what?" that really bugs me. At least have the decency to admit fault you cretin.
Ignatz Mouse
Banned
There's book out there called "Traffic" that points out that it's better to do this-- makes for more orderly and efficient merging.
People call someone rolling through a stop sign a California Stop here, in Nebraska. Probably all the Californians that move here brought the term with them.
arglebargle
Member
How to parallel park in Uh-Merka:
- Turn on turning signal BEFORE getting to the parking space
- Halt to a complete Stop BEFORE the parking space
- Wait for the driver behind you to figure out you intention to parallel park
- WHEN the driver behind you honks, make gestures advising your intention to parallel park (open your window and point to the parking space)
- Wait until driver behind you pass you while friendly honking and cursing
- Smile, enjoy your Freedom and proceed to your parallel parking
Works like a charm.
this is pretty true. i live in manhattan, so street parking is pretty competitive. your reptilian brain kicks in when it comes to marking your parking territory. you better block the shit out of a space when you see it.
its infuriating to me that "rubber necking" is an actual cause of traffic.
finally, a mention of the google car. pretty much every time i drive outside manhattan i think about how much i want one. i dont know how well they would work in the city itself because sometimes you really do need to be aggressive in getting pedestrians and other cars out of the way; there are intersections a google car would likely never make it through. once you hit the highway though? sign me up for a google car.
there was a thread on here a while back that worried about google car adoption since they go the speed limit and everyone else exceeds the speed limit. my thought on that is that i wouldnt mind the car going the speed limit if i could spend the trip reading or playing video games rather than driving.
Keru_Shiri
Member
I'm glad for this bump. The OP describes my commute from Conway to Little Rock every morning perfectly.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
LOL, nice hotlinking on the other page.
I've never heard of this. What's the point in having the sign at all?
That should be fine.
You can get a regular driver's license here when you turn 16.
I believe if you have a drivers license from another state/country, you'll be fine. Might want to check the state's website in which you will be driving. Some may have a certain period you will be allowed to drive.
Drivers in Austin are the absolute worst. I've lived in multiple places in Florida (including Orlando which is full of NYers and old people) and Chicago and they have NOTHING on Austin. I will absolutely lose my shit and have a full-blown roadrage meltdown one of these days.
I signal every time essentially, even when parking. I get furious at people who don't do it, especially when it involves cutting someone off.
I signal every time essentially, even when parking. I get furious at people who don't do it, especially when it involves cutting someone off.
In America, the horn is actually used as a message system. One short honk is for 'Please move, I am in a hurry.' A longer honk is for 'Get out of my way I'm late.'. A very long use of the horn accompanied by yelling and use of lights is used for 'I'm an asshole that really thinks you should go faster because I can't leave for anything on time so get out of my way of I will use your bumper to try and push you'.
All of these should be answered by ignoring them, allowing them to become more enraged until they do something stupid.
All of these should be answered by ignoring them, allowing them to become more enraged until they do something stupid.
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