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[Mama Robotnik]

BTW, did you write this yourself OP? I like...

Yes and thank you.

That's it, I've had enough of you Dr. Pleb

MIND CRUSH

About as effective as trying to use a worn matchstick to push Jupiter out of orbit. Dr. Pleb's expression doesn't even change.

 

[confused]

1.5 million people for everything ? Let him take Phoenix, that should cover it and nobody would miss it anyway

Source :

50 biggest cities in the US

 

[YYZ]

I just read through all of the devices again.

You need to put some more thought into what you're offering and the price. Some of the stuff that's the cheapest should actually cost the most.

If you offered a device that renders us immune to everything (except aging?) and priced it at at least 3 billion humans, that's a real choice.

 

[Darth Kupi]

Why the fuck is useless shit like the holodeck more expensive than what is essentially a perpetual motion machine?

THIS. The pricing is wayyyy off.

I'd leave out the sex pill. Nothing would ever get done.

He'd come back to an annihilated planet after the various wars fought to corral 1.5 million people for payment.

I agree. And many lulz will be had by Mr. Pleb.

And if there are any survivors, Dr. Pleb's new army of 1.5 million trans-dimensional super-cyborgs will kill everyone because we failed some bullshit "faith-in-ourselves test" Pleb had in mind when he made us the offer cause he sound like a pretentious space hipster douchebag.







Also, the fucking holodeck malfunctions since its an exact replica of the show.

 

[G-Fex]

Yes and thank you.


About as effective as trying to use a worn matchstick to push Jupiter out of orbit. Dr. Pleb's expression doesn't even change.

THIS CANNOT BE!

 

[BLagiver]

Zero!!!! Ill see him in hell to return him the favor if he destroys earth.

 

[Pulka]

 

[Shotgun Kiss]

I bet that there would be a LOT of volunteers. Nutjobs, xenophiles, incredibly curious people, homeless/starving people with nothing to live for, selfless people willing to (possibly) give their life to benefit mankind, scientists, etc. It wouldn't surprise me if all 1.5 million spots could be filled with volunteers.

And if not, fill in the remaining spots with ex-cons (murderers, pedophiles, etc).

 

[FunkyPajamas]

Mama, I love your threads.

If the choice were entirely up to me, I would propose that we gather volunteers all over the world and depending on the number of volunteers I (since I'm the one making the choice) should be able to determine which schematics to acquire. If enough volunteers agree on the exchange, I would propose that we go for:

The Plebian molecular fusion generator = 1000 human beings
The Plebian Environment Repairing Nanite Swarm = 1000 human beings
The Plebian Faster than Light Drive = 10,000 human beings
The Plebian Terraformation Torpedo = 400,000 human beings.

This would help us as species to terraform and colonize other planets and grow our reach into the unknown. This for less than half a million humans. Hell, I would volunteer myself.

Now, on the other hand, if I had to somehow force people to do it I probably would by starting a religion and telling people that Dr. Pleb was our savior and bla bla bla and just trick them into going with him.

I don't think we'll need these items to survive but I do think that we would prosper and grow far more rapidly as species if these items were available to us. I would make sure they were NOT exclusive to any corporation, country or military group whatsoever but freely available to everybody. This would mean that nobody would control the energy produced by the generator or the effects of the Environment Nanite Swarm or the FTL technology, etc.

Finally, I think that if a global democratic vote was used to reach a consensus (headed by the United Nations I guess) the answer would either be "No" or we would give far less souls than the ones I suggested in my hypothetical exchange.

I think I'm going to start adding random people on Facebook right now.

 

[Kinyou]

Shoot him in the face and then take all his stuff!.

Edit:
Or if that doesn't work, sent up Jeff goldblum and Will smith

 

[RDreamer]

The Plebian Artifical Afterlife generator (schematics)

This package includes two components:

(1) The schematics for a microchip transmitter that can be easily mass produced and inserted into the back of the skull with no ill effects

(2) The schematics for a generator that when activated, will create a small permanent pocket universe in orbit of the planet, about the size of the moon.

At the moment a human dies, the microchip transmitter will transmit the entire human consciousness from the body to the pocket universe, in which they will be able to exist for as long as they like in a state of bliss. The human "souls" in the pocket universe will be able to watch their loved ones below, be able to browse the ever changing internet, interact with each other and recreate any experience they wish. They can however, never return to the "living" world.

This package includes the schematics of the device, including the techniques to refine all of the needed materials from ten tonnes of Earth sand.

Cost: 250,000 Human Beings


The Plebian Enhanced Artificial Afterlife Generator (schematics)

This device is an enhanced version of the Plebian Artificial Afterlife Generator. It retains all of the functionality of the inferior model plus two enhancements.

(1) The machine will now work on pets.

(2) The machine generates a time-transcending nanoswarm of invisible microscopic machines. They travel back in time inserting an invisible microchip transmitter into the skull of every human being who ever lived, and at the moment of their death, transmitting their consciousness into the Artificial Afterlife orbiting Earth. This can be set with a filter if desired, so that "evil" people are not included in the process. With this device activated, every human being who has ever lived and will ever live, will go to artificial heaven.

Cost: 400,000 human beings

Oh man, I can see how this thing would cause an absolute shitstorm of epic proportions with most of the world. I think there's almost no way we'd get everyone to agree with it. It would possibly cause wars or split countries. Religious people would call this thing sacrilegious and an abomination. I think tons would refuse on faith alone and would believe they're going to their own heaven.

Even if you got past that, then there's the "filter" for "evil" people to not be included in the process. I can't even imagine the political bickering over that one. And, you'd pretty much have to get the The Plebian Time Observer thing to even get close to sorting this out.

 

[Shiny Llama]

Man, now I want to write a story like this. It'd have to be from the perspective of one of the people used as currency, of course... Hmm.

Actually, that's a great idea. Because of the amount of people being traded, the protagonist would be referred to as X. To be honest, just brainstorming earth's reaction is hilarious. This book should happen!

 

[Mama Robotnik]

I just read through all of the devices again.

You need to put some more thought into what you're offering and the price. Some of the stuff that's the cheapest should actually cost the most.

If you offered a device that renders us immune to everything (except aging?) and priced it at at least 3 billion humans, that's a real choice.

I can accept the feedback that the price might be considered too low. In fact, Google tells me that someone has already borrowed the thread concept and reposted it somewhere else with inflated costs.

In making the thread what I was interested in was if people would be happy submitting humans to an unknown force, who may or may not be trustworthy, for the promise of something great. I actually honestly expected most of the thread to be adamant that Dr. Pleb was not going to take a single person.

As I mentioned earlier, I would wonder how many people the planet would be willing to submit to get their hands on all of the offered specifications?

If there are indeed horrible aliens out there, or if we are destroying our environment through pollution and overpopulation, or if we are about to exhaust cheap energy, then would we need this technology to continue existing as a species?

 

[Stephen Colbert]

I think we will exist as a species without this tech for a long long long long long time. But it's not about how long we are around as a species, it's about what we manage to accomplish in that time.

I think we would get a shitton more done, and possibly find a way to stave off the "cold death" off the universe that will eventually kill us all off, and figure out so much more about the universe, with access to this tech.

I really thought that most people would tell Dr. Pleb to shove it.

Here's an additonal question - for those who are satisfied that Dr. Pleb's schematics are more than worth the asking price - how much would be too much?

I mean, say if we were offered the lot for X amount of humans, how much would be too high in your opinion?

Anything less than 6 billion people and I would gladly take this deal. I even get to decide who goes, that makes it even better. Friends, family, cool people like Steve Jobs and attractive girls stay, everyone else goes.

If it has to be more arbitrary than that, I would just tell him to take everyone over 35 except for my parents and Stephen Colbert.

Like I said, this would be an infinitely better thread if you forced everyone to pick five and only five of the above listed technologies so that we actually some variety in the answers.

Given that self imposed restriction, I would probably pick these five..

The Plebian Enhanced Artificial Afterlife Generator - Piece of mind

The Plebian Multiverse Internet Router - Information & Scientific Progress

The Plebian Faster than Light Drive - Adventure & Variety in life

The Plebian Immunity Vaccine - Invulnerability

The Plebian Solar System shield - Safety



Or if Dr. Pleb forced people to vote on and pick one and only one of these technologies.

If forced to make that decision, I would argue that The Plebian Multiverse Internet Router is easily the most logical and most valuable technology being offered up here.

This is the one technology that has the most potential to advance our scientific knowledge and understanding rapidly, hell we might well find a space ebay where Dr. Pleb's technology is being auctioned off for cheaper.

Also, making sex about a thousand times more pleasurable than crack cocaine seems like a quick and easy way to bring all human productivity to a complete halt.

 

[gofreak]

BTW, this seems like the type of thing that would fit right in in the Culture universe, say. Thumbs up.

 

[ElectricBlue187]

I'll take the whole kit. Chances of me or someone I love being one of the ~1.5 million are low enough that Im not worried about it. They'll likely all be from Asia.

 

[Man]

I approve of this thread. No time to post my shopping suggestions just yet but will revisit later today. Initial though is that we buy everything as long as I'm guaranteed not to become currency.

 

[Raiden]

I hope you just copied that from another messageboard, because that looked like there was way too much thought put into that.

 

[Mr. Sam]

I hope you just copied that from another messageboard, because that looked like there was way too much thought put into that.

It is difficult for Dr. Pleb's offers to be comprehended by humans, just as it would be if we were to offer Panasonic televisions to bacteria.

 

[scotcheggz]

All of it, I'll take it all. I'll even tip him roughly 6 billion humans for the good service too.

Naturally as the broker I'll be one of the few left to enjoy my newly acquired, spacious home.

 

[Theonik]

Does that router allow me to obtain games from a universe where the Sonic games are actually good and Shenmue 3 exists? Hmmm....

 

[Mr. Sam]

All of it, I'll take it all. I'll even tip him roughly 6 billion humans for the good service too.

Naturally as the broker I'll be one of the few left to enjoy my newly acquired, spacious home.

Let's hope there are people who can interpret alien schematics in the remaining, ooh, 0.9975 billion people you have remaining.

 

[Stephen Colbert]

Does that router allow me to obtain games from a universe where the Sonic games are actually good and Shenmue 3 exists? Hmmm....

Of course, but unless you have alienware, good luck getting your computer to run them.

 

[eso76]

Solution.

Spend human beings on the afterlife package first.

Yeah, sucks for them, i guess, but at least after that you'll be able to buy the rest of the items without feeling guilty.
It's just the initial investment, after that it sounds like a damn good deal to me.
A steal, actually.

When do we start ?

 

[jgminto]

All of it. I'd probably be disgusted in myself but you can't pass up on something like that. Let Dr.Pleb attempt the world record for longest human centipede.

 

[WickedAngel]

Why the fuck is useless shit like the holodeck more expensive than what is essentially a perpetual motion machine?

For the same reason that MLB players make millions while scientists and teachers work for peanuts.

 

[Like2Drive]

Personally, I'd be glad to submit myself to doctor Pleb. No hard feelings what so ever.

You guys can enjoy the new technology. I'm more interested in what Pleb will be doing to us than the destination of this planet.

 

[Regulus Tera]

Why the fuck is useless shit like the holodeck more expensive than what is essentially a perpetual motion machine?

thatsthejoke.jpg

 

[Josh7289]

Only people who volunteer themselves.

 

[Amibguous Cad]

I'd get a bunch of people together and cast lots to see who has to go up there. If you're not gonna put your name forward, you don't get the use of any of the tech.

A more interesting question is whether a referendum could legitimately compel an entire nation to bear the risk of the lots. On the one hand, I'm not really comfortable with saying that democracy can legitimize potentially killing or subjecting to a ton of pain its citizens. On the other hand, that's exactly what nations do on a regular basis when they declare war, particularly in nations that have forced conscription (even worse, I suppose, because a good number of the people voting on it aren't at risk for being conscripted).

 

[[Clark Gable]]

1.5million, if he built me a ray gun where I can shoot woman and they grow dick and balls.

 

[Aselith]

I just read through all of the devices again.

You need to put some more thought into what you're offering and the price. Some of the stuff that's the cheapest should actually cost the most.

If you offered a device that renders us immune to everything (except aging?) and priced it at at least 3 billion humans, that's a real choice.

Maybe Dr. Pleb is more benevolent than his choice would indicate so he's offering us truly beneficial things on the cheap and then letting us pay extra if we want the perk stuff.

Price doesn't always have a direct correlation to worth.

 

[Karsticles]

The Plebian molecular fusion generator (schematics)

Yes.

The Plebian Immunity Vaccine (schematics)

No.

The Plebian Environment Repairing Nanite Swarm (schematics)

No.

The Plebian Sexual Experiences Amplifier (schematics)

No.

The Plebian Internal Nanite Crew (schematics)

Yes.

The Plebian Holodeck (schematics)

Yes.

The Plebian Time Observer (schematics)

No.

The Plebian Multiverse Internet Router (schematics)

No.

The Plebian Faster than Light Drive (schematics)

Yes.

The Plebian Artifical Afterlife generator (schematics)

No.

The Plebian Enhanced Artificial Afterlife Generator (schematics)

No.

The Plebian Solar System shield (schematics)

Yes.

The Plebian Terraformation Torpedo (schematics)

Yes.

Do you purchase his technology, and if so how do you choose which human beings become “payment”? Remember that anyone ill or in prison is disqualified.

Orphans. If there aren't enough, people below the poverty line. If people below the poverty line are not possible for generally not being healthy enough, then just use the jury selection system: randoms.

Do you think that if humans expand and continue to advance, we will need any of these technologies to survive?

Maybe; I don't pretend to know.

If a democratic vote was done all over the world, for people to choose whether to tell Dr. Pleb to leave or sell him the human beings, what would be the outcome?

If the decision were democratic, people would probably try to wage war and steal his stuff.

 

[Mista Koo]

Well GAF does have more than 1.5 million members, doesn't it? Just saying.

But seriously speaking there are two solutions:
a) Force every fertile person on Earth (or in China) to have sex until a baby is made. 9 months after we can afford all of these in bulk
The extra babies could be donated to any infertile who want them (or you could have them as a commission).

b) Bring out Earth's best con artists to try and con Dr. Pleb out of his technologies and then kill him.
If failed we try to kill him for the rest of our lives.

(I haven't read all of the technologies. Some seem stupid, but knowing humans they'll be used in evil anyway).

 

[Übermatik]

300 dollar hookerbots or one 300 dollar hookerbot...?

 

[Theonik]

Of course, but unless you have alienware, good luck getting your computer to run them.

I'll probably order it from Amazon of the universe where it costs roughly 12 cents and they can digitise and reconvert matter! Free-inter-universal economy ftw.

What if Dr Pleb was one of us?

Just a straaanger on a bus...

 

[Kitschkraft]

Oh man, I can see how this thing would cause an absolute shitstorm of epic proportions with most of the world. I think there's almost no way we'd get everyone to agree with it. It would possibly cause wars or split countries. Religious people would call this thing sacrilegious and an abomination. I think tons would refuse on faith alone and would believe they're going to their own heaven.

Even if you got past that, then there's the "filter" for "evil" people to not be included in the process. I can't even imagine the political bickering over that one. And, you'd pretty much have to get the The Plebian Time Observer thing to even get close to sorting this out.

The time machine thingy alone would be enough to destroy religious ideas.

Oh and, I would take the whole offer, wouldn't volunteer, and would reap the benefits for an eternity.

 

[Mama Robotnik]

I hope you just copied that from another messageboard, because that looked like there was way too much thought put into that.

Heaven forbid I spend my own free time trying to write an original considered OP. I should probably endeavour to follow your example.

Its a shame the thread is so divided, half of the posters have made some great contributions and at least looked at the question. The other half, and especially the rush of initial responses, not so much.

 

[Like the hat?]

the lot!

 

[McLovin]

They could probably get a million from china alone. They kill their own babies because of over population as it is :/